We’re not always online to respond to the hundreds of messages we get, so make use of the fab forum answering machine.
Post your message in the thread and then maybe leave a message or two to people in reply.
Remember it’s just for fun, play nice people.  |
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Hi, Fiddles can’t come to the phone right now, I’m having to pick Nan up from the bingo and then I’ve got to take her to pick up her prescription and some haemorrhoid cream, and then she wants a sausage roll from Greggs.
Anyway, leave a message and I’ll get back to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Neil. I’m not sad and lonely any more because I have 'the voices'. Well, one voice. It's the voice of my dog. Not that it's a real dog, my mother would never let him have a real dog, so I made up one for myself. And a fine big dog it is too, with a waggy tail and a nice cold nose. I was going to call it Princey, but the dog told me its name was Demolition. So that's what I call it.
And the dog's told me other things too. Like how to adjust the bar-code reader in the shop where I works so that he can read the lines on people's palms and I can see what they're thinking. And which small ads in the comic books to send off to, so I can become irresistible to women, bend others to my will, gain vital inches and fear no man living.
By the way, did you want anything?” BEEP |
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"“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Neil. I’m not sad and lonely any more because I have 'the voices'. Well, one voice. It's the voice of my dog. Not that it's a real dog, my mother would never let him have a real dog, so I made up one for myself. And a fine big dog it is too, with a waggy tail and a nice cold nose. I was going to call it Princey, but the dog told me its name was Demolition. So that's what I call it.
And the dog's told me other things too. Like how to adjust the bar-code reader in the shop where I works so that he can read the lines on people's palms and I can see what they're thinking. And which small ads in the comic books to send off to, so I can become irresistible to women, bend others to my will, gain vital inches and fear no man living.
By the way, did you want anything?” BEEP"
Hiya, when you’re at the shop could you get me a multi pack of cheese and onion crisps please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Press 1 for masturbation
Press 2 for a quiet night in
Press 3 for a naughty threesum
Press 4 for Swinging
Press 5 for Dogging
Press 6 for a Gangbang"
3.
....3
........3..3.333.33333333...33 HELLO IS THIS THING ON? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Miss D is not available to take your call right now. You are in a queue. Please hold..................................................................
MissD is taking longer than expected to answer your call. Please continue to hold.................................................................. |
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"Miss D is not available to take your call right now. You are in a queue. Please hold..................................................................
MissD is taking longer than expected to answer your call. Please continue to hold.................................................................."
I’m holding it |
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