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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone got any jokes they would like to post i will start it
Why do highlanders wear kilts
So the sheep don't hear their zips getting pulled down lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the difference between America and a Pot of Yoghurt?
If you leave the pot of yoghurt alone for 200 years it will develop some culture."
Ironically you make a joke about the culture of one country yet have absolutely no idea about the culture of your jokes origin!!.
You say yoghurt won't develop culture in the US in 200yrs.
Do you realise YOGURT is a Turkish word? Not spelled yoghurt??
So the word has been developed from culture. That you are ironically misspelling.
Yea I'm a facetious cunt. Sorry.
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"What is the difference between America and a Pot of Yoghurt?
If you leave the pot of yoghurt alone for 200 years it will develop some culture.
Ironically you make a joke about the culture of one country yet have absolutely no idea about the culture of your jokes origin!!.
You say yoghurt won't develop culture in the US in 200yrs.
Do you realise YOGURT is a Turkish word? Not spelled yoghurt??
So the word has been developed from culture. That you are ironically misspelling.
Yea I'm a facetious cunt. Sorry.
"
Omg it was a joke.
|
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"What is the difference between America and a Pot of Yoghurt?
If you leave the pot of yoghurt alone for 200 years it will develop some culture.
Ironically you make a joke about the culture of one country yet have absolutely no idea about the culture of your jokes origin!!.
You say yoghurt won't develop culture in the US in 200yrs.
Do you realise YOGURT is a Turkish word? Not spelled yoghurt??
So the word has been developed from culture. That you are ironically misspelling.
Yea I'm a facetious cunt. Sorry.
Omg it was a joke.
"
It was a good joke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man walks into a shop and asks for a packet of helicopter crisps.
"we dont sell helicopter crisps" says the shopkeeper.
"Oh! I'll just have a packet of plane ones then" |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An englishman, an Irishman, a Scot, a philpino, a Frenchman, a welshman, a Latvian, a Jamaican, a finn, an Estonian, a yank, a Brazilian, a Jap and a Belgian walk into a bar..... the barman turns to them and says "I can't let you in without a thai" |
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Two police women leave the station in the morning to walk their beat accompanied by a German Shepherd.
After about 5 minutes one of them realises she’s forgotten to put on her knickers.
"Don’t worry" says her colleague. "We can send the dog to get them. Just let her have a quick sniff of your fanny and she’ll get the scent"
Rather sheepishly the first officer let’s the dog have a good sniff of her crotch before her pal sends the dog on its way.
20 minutes pass and there’s still no sign of the dog.
"Maybe she’s lost" says the knickerless copper
"Have some patience, she’ll be back soon"
Not long after, the German shepherd came running along the street towards them with the missing knickers, a truncheon, a broom handle and two of the chief inspectors fingers. |
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