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Sweet Revenge

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By *rFunBoy OP   Man  over a year ago

Longridge

So, you get a Static Caravan for a quiet week away. Day two, a loud mouthed noisy family join you next door.

Shouting, kids banging and arguing, running constantly up and down the Caravan like a heard of elephants on the boarded floor.

There is nothing more satisfactory than getting a loaf of bread from the reduced counter and after they've gone to bed, while dark, soak full loaf in water then quietly fling slices onto roof of the Caravan next door.

Overnight, the bread sticks to the roof, dries then hardens.

As first light arrives at 4am-5am, the bread draws attention to 50 or more seagulls who descend on the Caravan roof for breakfast in a feeding frenzy. To find the only way they can gobble it up is by constantly pecking at the bread on the metal roof accompanied by the bickering and fighting.

Then, later waking up to see your neighbours have been awake for hours and already looking extremely tired at 9am.

Such fun and joy, especially when they are so tired and in need of an early night as they've been up so early - peace is restored.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nothing satisfies you more really nothing you can think of at all

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Haha that’s quite funny to be fair. Am I a bad person?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You go to a caravan park and are surprised when families are there; when the main target audiences of caravan parks are families with children? It’s like going to an aquarium and complaining there’s fish there

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By *rFunBoy OP   Man  over a year ago

Longridge


"Haha that’s quite funny to be fair. Am I a bad person? "

No, also do the same to other innocent victims.

It's actually fuckin hilarious to be up and watch it. Best alarm clock ever!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Haha that’s quite funny to be fair. Am I a bad person? "

We both are

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Haha that’s quite funny to be fair. Am I a bad person?

We both are "

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"You go to a caravan park and are surprised when families are there; when the main target audiences of caravan parks are families with children? It’s like going to an aquarium and complaining there’s fish there "

Actually this is very true too!

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By *rFunBoy OP   Man  over a year ago

Longridge


"Nothing satisfies you more really nothing you can think of at all"

Apart from night 4, a couple arrived and started making out in the back bedroom with window and curtains open at 2am.

Realising I was sat outside, put light on where everything was on show.

Got a wink and smile off her in the morning - no bread for them.

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By *rFunBoy OP   Man  over a year ago

Longridge


"You go to a caravan park and are surprised when families are there; when the main target audiences of caravan parks are families with children? It’s like going to an aquarium and complaining there’s fish there "

Always amazing how some people jump straight on in with smart short sighted remarks.

The 5 adjacent 'families' with kids, exactly the 'clientele' they are trying to attract also had to suffer pissed up parents spouting disgusting profanity, kids running a mock at 1am in the morning annoying everyone around them.

Not really fair on their family holiday either, being kept awake by selfish inconsiderate idiots, is it?

Your aquarium analogy doesn't really work in this case.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Better than my revenge. I just rub my balls on everything

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Better than my revenge. I just rub my balls on everything "

Does that attract the gulls as well?

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By *ilverjagMan  over a year ago

swansea

You are as bad as me op, I thought that I was the only one who lives by the code of practice of never getting angry, only getting even.

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By *JB1954Man  over a year ago

Reading

My late wife and I had a touring caravans . Travelled to a lot of places. I can understand where the OP is coming from. Once on a site one family caused problems for everyone. Kids running about at one am +. Parents not in control and could not care less. We arrived the same day as them. Three days in after site owners asking kept them to keep noise etc down after 2330 hrs as per the site rules. Police called and they were escorted off the site. The caravan next to us was a six berth . Parents and four children. Yet yes children played were enjoying themselves . But were very well behaved .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Better than my revenge. I just rub my balls on everything

Does that attract the gulls as well? "

No but the birds love it

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By *rFunBoy OP   Man  over a year ago

Longridge


"You are as bad as me op, I thought that I was the only one who lives by the code of practice of never getting angry, only getting even. "

Absolutely- and sometimes, best served Ice Cold.

While working in the water industry, we had issues with night visits for theft or vandalism.

Having had enough, we arranged a 70 foot trench, 3 foot deep and 2 foot wide to be dug at the usual point of entry.

Once dug, a couple of weeks before August Bank Holiday, filled the trench with 15,000 litres raw shit sludge, then let the sun bake a crust on top to trap the odour.

Sure enough, arriving on the Bank Holiday Monday, there was 3 sets of shitty splodges in the sludge. They'd mounted the ladder over the fence, and jumped straight into the stinky shit.

Strangely, it was a very long time before ever getting a revisit.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

love it!

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve made a note of this in my little book of Revenge.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 26/06/22 07:51:30]

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

Aren't the gulls just as noisy as the annoying kids?

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By *JstarsoloWoman  over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

You can get adult only caravan parks, but then you might get a different set of 'noise' problems.

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By *iamondCougarWoman  over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

How sad you couldnt just ask them to be a little quieter

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By *rFunBoy OP   Man  over a year ago

Longridge


"How sad you couldnt just ask them to be a little quieter

"

And face a kick in, in the process. Great idea. When you realise the scum I'm talking about, you might understand a little better.

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