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Why do SOME guys
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Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.
I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.
It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc
Marc |
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They probably read the forums and think it's best to apologise to any woman they message. There's a culture of single !an bashing and they pick up on it.
I'm not referring to you op when I say that. |
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"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.
I'm not that scary am I  "
A lot of profiles out there are very aggressive. "I dare you to message me" or "I don't like this, this, this,and this, some of that, all of that, and none of that, so fucking pay attention" type thing... All part of fabs rich tapestry. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?
"
Oh god I hate this.
It's always like "can you fart in my face while I cum on your feet?" as well.
No one ever asks me, like, what my favourite pasta shape is. Those are the important questions. |
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"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?
"
That's a novel idea.. "can I ask if you've ever been sent a message asking if i can ask you a question.?"
Kind of a mirror opposite a mirror type thing... A nested if statement... A babushka doll... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?
That's a novel idea.. "can I ask if you've ever been sent a message asking if i can ask you a question.?"
Kind of a mirror opposite a mirror type thing... A nested if statement... A babushka doll... "
Let me know who send this to...
"can I ask if you've ever been asked if someone has sent a message asking if i can ask you a question.?"
"Ps sorry for asking" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They've probably been set upon for messaging women who don't like men but won't use filters.
Pre-empting a strike."
But then when you do use filters people get annoyed. It doesn't stop me from using them, but I've had so many comments on the forums about it trying to make me feel like I'm doing something wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.
I'm not that scary am I "
unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.
I'm not that scary am I "
Maybe they are in awe of your beauty and a little scared hence the sorry part ?
Just saying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.
I'm not that scary am I unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment "
Ive not really used this site long but 100% agree mate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.
I'm not that scary am I unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment "
I would take blocking with a pinch of salt. It's not always meant aggressively, just stops repeat messaging from someone you're not interested in. I would look at it as they've saved you time and effort  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably because we're aware of how many messages women get and quite a few talk about the lack of quality message that we almost feel bad for adding to that even if we are interested. Or that could just be me, I don't speak for all men  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.
I'm not that scary am I unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment "
I block ppl who just say hello. I'd not stop blocking because they apologised !
It's funny the stories we tell ourselves about things like blocking, deleting messages etc... They can be so powerful it changes behaviour. |
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Most messages get ignored anyway, both ways lol.
Maybe it's a tactic to seem different to the usual "My dick is hard" or similar 1 liner.
All I know,
Messaging women is a needle in haystack usually, couples 50/50
Message a guy and pretty much garauntee a response soo who knows, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.
I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.
It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc
Marc"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.
I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.
It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc
Marc"
Well said and I agree it’s probably unconsciously done. I’ve had messages from women apologising and suggesting they’re not my type, which I find unattractive as I like a confident woman.
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"Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.
I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.
It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc
Marc
Well said and I agree it’s probably unconsciously done. I’ve had messages from women apologising and suggesting they’re not my type, which I find unattractive as I like a confident woman.
"
Thank you. Sorry should be reserved for when it is needed.
Of you feel like you are inconveniencing someone then it’s best not to.
You are right it comes down to confidence and self worth
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a weird gimpy, beta, "nice guy" phenomenon that seems to have infiltrated modern masculinity to a concerning degree."
Or just manners? One of the two, possibly.
It’s like when I stop someone in the street to ask something, first thing I say is “Sorry to bother you, but ..”
Maybe I’m just being a weird, gimpy “beta”, “nice guy”?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.
I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.
It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc
Marc"
this sounds like it |
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I apologise a lot. Or at least I say sorry a lot.
I may or may not have done that here, honestly can't remember as its ages since I sent out a speculative message.
If I have said sorry in a message for then I apologise profusely.
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we all have the stock answer to that ready to paste into a reply
C
