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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a couple of points :
1. When an airline says you are allowed ONE item of baggage into the cabin - and that includes handbags, they don't just mean everyone else, they mean YOU too.
2. When there is a queue at the supermarket check out, don't just stand there and watch the items go bleep, do something constructive, like open your bag and purse and get some money ready
- and moreover, don't look surprised and go into a flap when the cashier asks you for money !
I know I said a couple, but fuck it, I'm on a roll
When you have paid for the items, MOVE AWAY FROM THE TILL
It is neither the time nor the place to start looking for your keys and/or sorting out the 12 months worth of receipts you just happen to have found in your purse.
Ahhhh, feel better now
Happy Monday everyone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a couple of points :
1. When an airline says you are allowed ONE item of baggage into the cabin - and that includes handbags, they don't just mean everyone else, they mean YOU too.
2. When there is a queue at the supermarket check out, don't just stand there and watch the items go bleep, do something constructive, like open your bag and purse and get some money ready
- and moreover, don't look surprised and go into a flap when the cashier asks you for money !
I know I said a couple, but fuck it, I'm on a roll
When you have paid for the items, MOVE AWAY FROM THE TILL
It is neither the time nor the place to start looking for your keys and/or sorting out the 12 months worth of receipts you just happen to have found in your purse.
Ahhhh, feel better now
Happy Monday everyone "
and don't stand in the doorway of a shop chatting to your long lost mate, folks are trying to get in or out!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a couple of points :
1. When an airline says you are allowed ONE item of baggage into the cabin - and that includes handbags, they don't just mean everyone else, they mean YOU too.
2. When there is a queue at the supermarket check out, don't just stand there and watch the items go bleep, do something constructive, like open your bag and purse and get some money ready
- and moreover, don't look surprised and go into a flap when the cashier asks you for money !
I know I said a couple, but fuck it, I'm on a roll
When you have paid for the items, MOVE AWAY FROM THE TILL
It is neither the time nor the place to start looking for your keys and/or sorting out the 12 months worth of receipts you just happen to have found in your purse.
Ahhhh, feel better now
Happy Monday everyone and don't stand in the doorway of a shop chatting to your long lost mate, folks are trying to get in or out!!! "
And learn how to drive a trolley too. I.e don't park it in the middle of the isle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a couple of points :
1. When an airline says you are allowed ONE item of baggage into the cabin - and that includes handbags, they don't just mean everyone else, they mean YOU too.
2. When there is a queue at the supermarket check out, don't just stand there and watch the items go bleep, do something constructive, like open your bag and purse and get some money ready
- and moreover, don't look surprised and go into a flap when the cashier asks you for money !
I know I said a couple, but fuck it, I'm on a roll
When you have paid for the items, MOVE AWAY FROM THE TILL
It is neither the time nor the place to start looking for your keys and/or sorting out the 12 months worth of receipts you just happen to have found in your purse.
Ahhhh, feel better now
Happy Monday everyone "
And dont stand yapping to the cashier for bloomin ages |
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"Men , when in supermarket don't assume you are the only one in there and just push the trolley full speed not caring who has to jump out your way  "
It's like the movie Rollerball in my local supermarket on a saturday afternoon.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good call Bussy.
Just one more thing (Best Columbo voice)
Smile at the person behind you that you are blocking, they are the ones being patient, waiting for you to move.
Don't tut and give shitty looks out just because you are havjng a personal crisis about buying 3 tubs of Ben and Jerry's and trying to persuade your conscience that buying the half fat, reduced flavour, cuppa soups, wont and can't help you lose those extra pounds.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When pushing your trolley/pushchair and decide to suddenly stop for no apparent reason - please ensure you shout of "Emergency Stop" to ensure you don't cause a series of rear end collisions - much like those who tail gate on motorways!
And if you choose to suddenly go into reverse for any reason - please commence a rhythmic "beep, beep, beep" noise like trucks do, to give surrounding shoppers fair warning!
Thanks!! |
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ANYBODY ;
Leaving your trolley unattended in the middle of the aisle ...
Not being aware of peolpe around you
Stopping mid aisle to chat to the person coming the opposite way, and blocking the aisle
The apple at the front is the same as the one at the back, just buy it!!!!
The person on the till really doesn't give a stuff that you are buying for aunt Mabel who's house bound or has an in growing toe nail.
Don't ask how they are, they get asked all the time, minimum wage, long hours, and bored sensless. How do you think they are, you just spent £200 and they hate you !!!!
Ways to have fun In a supermarket!!!
Put a really expensive piece of meat in a tossers trolley and watch when they get to the check out.
When they put something in the basket take it out and put it in yours, they don't own it yet.
Follow them around the supermarket , they get really scared .
Ask them out on a date, while discussing the benefits of free range to standard .
Most of all...... Have fun by putting condoms in somebody's trolley who clearly has no use whatsoever for them .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also please don't act surprised, if after balancing 50 bags of shopping off the pushchairs arms, when you lift the kid out, that it topples backwards and smashes everything glass in the bags. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When pushing your trolley/pushchair and decide to suddenly stop for no apparent reason - please ensure you shout of "Emergency Stop" to ensure you don't cause a series of rear end collisions - much like those who tail gate on motorways!
And if you choose to suddenly go into reverse for any reason - please commence a rhythmic "beep, beep, beep" noise like trucks do, to give surrounding shoppers fair warning!
Thanks!! "
I have often wondered why supermarkets don't have a one way system, you will walk this way up and down every aisle ensuring you pick up lots of items you don't want but oh the queue when men can't decide on what they want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I rule the country one of the 1st thing I'll introduce is supermarket discounts. The following people get discount at the following times:
The elderly/retired - early morning ( they seem to like shopping then!)
The unemployed/stay at home mums - 9-11.30 and 1.30-5 (while the regular workers are working)
9-5 workers - weekends and evenings (no discount but priority at week day lunch times)
Seems fair to me and my mum! |
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