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Worst ever sex you've had
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Just before last Christmas met with a lady I'd been chatting to for a while the banter was great when we met we clicked straight away and were soon in bed
But the passion killer was when she went down on me her teeth grazed against the old man quite painfully to the point I wasn't turned on anymore and couldn't continue  |
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By *wlmanMan
over a year ago
Rugby |
Girl I fancied for years, I may as well have ducked a plank. She just lay there while I went down on her and didn’t move when I fucked her.
Was talking to a friend a few days later who told me that she was the same with him. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound."
I've had that. It's very disappointing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks like I’ll be the first to say that it was my fault.
My first time. No idea what I was doing, not even sure I got it in properly. Disrupted by someone knocking on the door.
My skill have improved by a massive 7% since then so it’s all good  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound."
I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom? |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound."
I've had a similar experience. No noise, nothing. Then she just said "I've cum". Zero cues. I just fumbled an excuse and said goodbye. |
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"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.
I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom? "
When I say "motionless, and barely making a sound", I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were open, I might've started checking for a pulse 
If you're on the bottom, you're not expected to move around all that much, I'm gonna be doing the bulk of the work, but I'd hope you would at least look alive. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.
I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom? "
What about before that? Do you give oral, or kiss, or show any signs of enthusiasm?  |
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Probably the guy who rubbed me so raw I couldn't actually have penetrative sex with him because he made me so sore.
There's also the one that spat in my face with no prior discussion, kept insisting he could cum from a blowjob and stay hard (he seemed to think I'd find it very impressive) and then it turned out he couldn't. He then got angry with his dick, made a cup of tea and the left to get KFC instead. |
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"Maybe they thought you where crap
Me? Didn’t get chance to be crap . "
wasn’t aimed at you although when I read it it looked like it was hence the quick removal I was getting at all the above who blamed the other person maybe they thought you as in them where crap |
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"Maybe they thought you where crap
Me? Didn’t get chance to be crap . wasn’t aimed at you although when I read it it looked like it was hence the quick removal I was getting at all the above who blamed the other person maybe they thought you as in them where crap "
it’s fine. I’ve stopped crying now |
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By *ommy_73Man
over a year ago
Herts & London |
My first time was absolutely terrible.
We were both extremely smashed. I was a teenager. So was her son (I bumped into him on the way out). Luckily her boyfriend wasn't there. He was in prison.
She was at least 30 years older than me and I really didn't find her attractive. Still, when you're young, d*unk and horny you tend to do some stupid things.
Talking of stupid things - we did it bareback. And AIDS was big, big news at the time.The next day I had to persuade a good friend to a) take me to get tested and b) never tell a soul.
Still, she gave me a bike to ride home on.
But just to cap off my shitty night the chain snapped as I rode it back.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bi guy and years ago I was in some toilets and black guy kept looking at me when I was stood at the urinals.i looked at his cock and it was very big.he told me to follow him outside.he walked into a wooded area so I followed him and he said he wanted to fuck me.i was expecting a really good hard fuck but it was hugely dissapointing.i pulled my jeans and pants down and he got behind me and was basically jabbing his cock at my bumhole.he didn't even enter me when he suddenly said oh god sorry and shot his load over the floor instead.he pulled his pants up and walked off leaving me very frustrated and disappointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.
I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom?
When I say "motionless, and barely making a sound", I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were open, I might've started checking for a pulse
If you're on the bottom, you're not expected to move around all that much, I'm gonna be doing the bulk of the work, but I'd hope you would at least look alive."
Ah okay yeah I'm definitely in the clear then |
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She seemed like she hated every second of it. To the point I stopped like 5 times to check she was ok. After the 5th time I just said I can’t do this and left. She seemed confused but was ok with it. Weirdly enough we met once and that happened, maybe about 1.5 years ago, and we still chat weekly on insta about our dating success/failures
It was weird |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!  |
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"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "
Erm .. Wtf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!
Erm .. Wtf "
See... you don't know all my secrets yet! Ha ha |
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When I was about 21 this older woman in her early 40s had the hots for me. I've always liked older woman. We didn't hook up straight away, went out a few times to get to know each other. When the time came to getting naughty, I was like a kid on Christmas day. I rolled her on top, to my surprise she laid there like a plank of wood. Haven't spoke to her since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "
This is so fucking dodge. Not only did that guy screw over his brother, but he had sex with you under the guise of being someone else. Like, literally just following someone you don't know to the shower and getting in with them is creepy as hell. That's definitely not okay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I *AM* other peoples worst sex.
Mine was when I met a couple off here one of my very first Fab meets years ago, she was vigorously wanking me off then caused a blood injury on my wee willy winkle with the sharp prong on her diamond ring.. 
That brought an end to that  |
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"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!
Erm .. Wtf
See... you don't know all my secrets yet! Ha ha "
Apparently not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "
Hahahahaha utter bullshit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!
This is so fucking dodge. Not only did that guy screw over his brother, but he had sex with you under the guise of being someone else. Like, literally just following someone you don't know to the shower and getting in with them is creepy as hell. That's definitely not okay "
You believe it? Lol. Ridiculous story lol x |
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "
Some story this..This has to go on twitter's Friday confessions.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!
This is so fucking dodge. Not only did that guy screw over his brother, but he had sex with you under the guise of being someone else. Like, literally just following someone you don't know to the shower and getting in with them is creepy as hell. That's definitely not okay
You believe it? Lol. Ridiculous story lol x"
Be a bit sad to make it up, no? |
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Well, there was the guy I puked on while on top or the guy with sandpaper for hands who rubbed my clit like he was sanding down a door frame, or the one who wanted doggy, only I wasn’t allowed to move an inch while in position (I walked out mid session on that one) |
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Late night spur of the moment invite, when I got to their place she was d*unk, doesn’t kiss, doesn’t suck cock, it was basically stick your cock in her, cum and go. Not for me sorry, enjoy your night……  |
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"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.
I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom?
When I say "motionless, and barely making a sound", I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were open, I might've started checking for a pulse
If you're on the bottom, you're not expected to move around all that much, I'm gonna be doing the bulk of the work, but I'd hope you would at least look alive."
I am sorry to laugh at your experience but this is funny AF |
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"She seemed like she hated every second of it. To the point I stopped like 5 times to check she was ok. After the 5th time I just said I can’t do this and left. She seemed confused but was ok with it. Weirdly enough we met once and that happened, maybe about 1.5 years ago, and we still chat weekly on insta about our dating success/failures
It was weird "
Sounds like it is still weird! |
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During my uni days, I used to visit a particular club with a hot female bouncer who used to check me out all the time. So after seeing her a couple of times, I asked her out.
Date night comes, we go for drinks and have a great time, so much so that we head to mine.
Got back to mine, opened a bottle of time, and things start heating up. She opens her legs, I stick my hands down there and suddenly it’s like I am in Billingsgate Fish Market. Beautiful girl, but the smell was so bad, my little friend just said to me, “you are on your own”!
I really couldn’t if I wanted to, so made some excuses about my doctor advising me about abstaining from sex for a few weeks.
Poor girl, to this day she still doesn’t know why it never happened. |
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"Either the one who puked all over me, or the one whose colostomy bag burst and there was crap over both of us. In both instances, we got to shower but not in the best of circumstances!"
OMG! Yuck!! |
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"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.
Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.
Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.
I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.
More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.
Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.
I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".
My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!
The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "
Rape is fine as long as the sex is good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had a power wank once and slipped off, nearly broke my wrist.
I don't think I've ever had bad sex in the presence of a woman. Obviously I can't speak for the women.... |
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In a swingers club with a couple in a private room just about to enjoy ourselves when they banged on the door shouting out my reg number as id blocked someone in. By the time I found a space and got back in they’d finished and were leaving |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first time was hilarious looking back now. He spent so long trying to put a condom on that I got bored and started playing snake on his Nokia. Obviously would lend a helping hand now haha. |
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Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.
I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal |
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"Probably the guy who rubbed me so raw I couldn't actually have penetrative sex with him because he made me so sore.
There's also the one that spat in my face with no prior discussion, kept insisting he could cum from a blowjob and stay hard (he seemed to think I'd find it very impressive) and then it turned out he couldn't. He then got angry with his dick, made a cup of tea and the left to get KFC instead. "
Sometimes a KFC is all a guy needs.
Just saying… |
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"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.
I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal "
I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure) |
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"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.
I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal
I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)"
More likely to be bacterial vaginosis which can ironically be caused by over washing or cleaning with soaps that are too harsh or scented. |
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"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.
I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal
I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)
More likely to be bacterial vaginosis which can ironically be caused by over washing or cleaning with soaps that are too harsh or scented. "
Yes bacteria ??
I’d heard that too.
Anyway, moving on! |
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A meet from here years ago. I turned up and let her know I’d arrived, didn’t hear anything back for ages before getting a messages asking me to wait 10 min.
One inside she was already looking a bit flushed and didn’t smell all too fresh. Halfway through she told me to keep the noise down as her kids were asleep in the next room at which point I made my excuses.
Sure enough her next meet was already parked up outside - I always wondered how many blokes she’d got through that day. |
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I’ve experienced the ‘no movement’ sex but she said it was perfect in spite of my concerns and asked to see me again. Was a bit better the next time but no real chemistry.
Strangely disappointing was with a date that went brilliantly. We got back to her flat and I was really enjoying touching her and she was very very responsive. Then she had a massive orgasm and was so sensitive, she couldn’t bear to be touched sexually again. To be fair, she was keen to finish me off but I lost the urge in my shock, I really had only started the foreplay…
Sadly, we weren’t able to meet again because my location changed suddenly with work. Always wonder how that might have worked out. |
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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago
Wirral |
"Girl I fancied for years, I may as well have ducked a plank. She just lay there while I went down on her and didn’t move when I fucked her.
Was talking to a friend a few days later who told me that she was the same with him."
Very similar story here, she d*unkenly seduced me and took back to hers - the most boring uneventful shag ever. I've seen bags of King Eddy's move more |
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By *ilffadMan
over a year ago
swansea |
You say that, but this is not dip your dick and get out. You must must have compassion and understanding in any relationship. The fact these things hsppened, both were accidents. Sometimes, step back and view the situation
"Either the one who puked all over me, or the one whose colostomy bag burst and there was crap over both of us. In both instances, we got to shower but not in the best of circumstances!
OMG! Yuck!! "
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Recently and my fault
Had a hot wife come to my hotel who was lovely but my head was all about blasting when she wanted something quick....took me a few mins to adjust....felt a bit of a twat...but now i know lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.
I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal
I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)
More likely to be bacterial vaginosis which can ironically be caused by over washing or cleaning with soaps that are too harsh or scented.
Yes bacteria ??
I’d heard that too.
Anyway, moving on! "
Or they have just had sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The same problem as a previous poster. I experienced a lady who came back too my place with a Stinky Minky it smelt like Grimsby on a Warm day it was feckin barking.
After saying to her I was going to the toilet I came back and said sorry I’m not feeling very well and would you mind leaving it tonight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"During my uni days, I used to visit a particular club with a hot female bouncer who used to check me out all the time. So after seeing her a couple of times, I asked her out.
Date night comes, we go for drinks and have a great time, so much so that we head to mine.
Got back to mine, opened a bottle of time, and things start heating up. She opens her legs, I stick my hands down there and suddenly it’s like I am in Billingsgate Fish Market. Beautiful girl, but the smell was so bad, my little friend just said to me, “you are on your own”!
I really couldn’t if I wanted to, so made some excuses about my doctor advising me about abstaining from sex for a few weeks.
Poor girl, to this day she still doesn’t know why it never happened."
Same totall yuk!!
One of the worst things that can happen. Dont people know,or are aware of thier own smells!! |
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