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Help and advice please gang
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I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "
Switch from Aldi to waitrose? |
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"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong?
Switch from Aldi to waitrose?"
I’m not allowed in Waitrose. They have a no net policy |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Try Majestic Wines. There always seem to be a fair few in there whenever I've been in.
Wednesday is the day... after 2 but before 5.45.
Let me know how it goes? |
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"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong?
Switch from Aldi to waitrose?
I’m not allowed in Waitrose. They have a no net policy "
If it is from the Duchy organic range then they let you bring any net size you want. |
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It's all about bait.
Perhaps leave a bag of Werthers originals on the floor in the middle of the aisle. They can't resist them.
When they bend down, assuming they can still bend down, you can snag them in the net. |
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"Try Majestic Wines. There always seem to be a fair few in there whenever I've been in.
Wednesday is the day... after 2 but before 5.45.
Let me know how it goes?"
I suppose if I tied their laces together they wouldn’t be able to run away.
I’ll give this a go. Majestic wines, Wednesdays between 1400 and 1745.
Perfect. |
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"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls  "
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
Brilliant. 
And they'll be able to afford the nice wines. Win."
Think of everything, I do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far. "
Thank you, it does sound better than me offering to dye my hair grey  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Try Majestic Wines. There always seem to be a fair few in there whenever I've been in.
Wednesday is the day... after 2 but before 5.45.
Let me know how it goes?
I suppose if I tied their laces together they wouldn’t be able to run away.
I’ll give this a go. Majestic wines, Wednesdays between 1400 and 1745.
Perfect. "
Happy to help... and a full report will be expected on Thursday morning  |
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"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far.
Thank you, it does sound better than me offering to dye my hair grey "
Not grey grey. The salt and pepper look.
If you see a big net come out of nowhere mind you’re business and don’t panic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need a bigger net, sit at the end of the booze aisle, maybe you aren't waiting long enough?
You’re right to call me out. I’m not fully committed. Ill stick it out next time. "
I will help you, I'll wear a disguise and give you the signal when I see one and you can pounce |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The Masonic Lodge in my town has a convenient little alleyway next to the main entrance where you could loiter most comfortably. You could even get 2 in your net at once as they'd be too distracted with their secret handshake thingy to see you coming. |
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You're Shangri-la will probably be your local library. They are often found there, deftly perusing the bookshelves amongst the moth-eaten copies of food and wine, next to the lifestyle magazines.
They are a dying breed.
Libraries are a thing of the past, sadly. Hence why they thrive there. |
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"I could 'borrow' Sam Tender and get him ripped on some nice wine?
(Again)
 "
That sounds like an excellent idea.
Additionally, can I ask where you can be found between 1400 and 1745 on Wednesdays.
Many thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far.
Thank you, it does sound better than me offering to dye my hair grey
Not grey grey. The salt and pepper look.
If you see a big net come out of nowhere mind you’re business and don’t panic. "
Well now I'm all panicked  |
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"The Masonic Lodge in my town has a convenient little alleyway next to the main entrance where you could loiter most comfortably. You could even get 2 in your net at once as they'd be too distracted with their secret handshake thingy to see you coming."
Why didn’t I think of this! You’re a genius. |
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"You need a bigger net, sit at the end of the booze aisle, maybe you aren't waiting long enough?
You’re right to call me out. I’m not fully committed. Ill stick it out next time.
I will help you, I'll wear a disguise and give you the signal when I see one and you can pounce "
I really appreciate this. Women supporting women. We love to see it |
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"I could 'borrow' Sam Tender and get him ripped on some nice wine?
(Again)
That sounds like an excellent idea.
Additionally, can I ask where you can be found between 1400 and 1745 on Wednesdays.
Many thanks. "
You can, but I'm going to have to lawyer up first.  |
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"You could do a classic basket and stick on a rope trap with a nice juicy steak?
Or the "ooh, a piece of candy" trap from Family Guy  "
I’ve tried both of these and yet it always backfires. Stick of being trapped in my own basket. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Maybe the Harrods food isle if you want someone classy. Though it’s a bit much to take all and give nothing isn’t it ?
Good luck with your quest "
It's all fur coat and no knickers that place now. Fortnums is the place now AND it allows you to drink glasses of wine as you wait.
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You could do a classic basket and stick on a rope trap with a nice juicy steak?
Or the "ooh, a piece of candy" trap from Family Guy
I’ve tried both of these and yet it always backfires. Stick of being trapped in my own basket. "
I've found the trick is to put something you don't like under the basket.
Or you could always wait until they get in their car and follow them home |
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"Older. Didn’t you see there was a thread saying that you should date younger? "
I quite like a salt and peppered hair man with a dreamy smile, jawline that could cut glass, tall with broad shoulders who can do that thing where they roll up their sleeves three quarters, throw one arm around the passenger seat while reverse parking. I ask for so little Steve. |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Try the viagra aisle.
Try this.
Hold a box of viagra aloft and shout "Silver Daddy wanted. Come and get your special pills and be mine".
C"
I’m just about beginning my way down Silver Avenue, and I can say that if you swapped the blue pills for Voltarol, you’d be on to a winner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…
Bingo "
the only thing you're doing wrong is you need to shop in North Wales, I won't put up much of a struggle. I'll even dye my hair grey if it helps |
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"I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…"
It made me laugh too Jamie all of the silver foxes seem to have disappeared |
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Can I recommend the cataract clinic? I have had both mine done over the last few months at the tender age of 60. Almost all of the other punters were in their early seventies at the youngest. You would have the advantage that they probably wouldn't be able to see the net as long as you caught them on the way in. |
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"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "
I always return my empties, if you ask my advice on wine, don't return the empties , you get F all thanks.
I never had sex with anyone from the wine aisle but would if you have a lingering bouquet Mmmm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Older. Didn’t you see there was a thread saying that you should date younger?
I quite like a salt and peppered hair man with a dreamy smile, jawline that could cut glass, tall with broad shoulders who can do that thing where they roll up their sleeves three quarters, throw one arm around the passenger seat while reverse parking. I ask for so little Steve. "
So little. Yet men still manage to disappoint. |
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"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "
We can help if you don't mind him being part of a couple.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far. "
Yeah, but you'll only get an old lame one. Look for one that can still carry a full set of clubs. |
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"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far.
Yeah, but you'll only get an old lame one. Look for one that can still carry a full set of clubs."
How can you treat a lame dilf? Do you just leave them out in the field for a few months? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls
I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.
You’re in the lead so far.
Yeah, but you'll only get an old lame one. Look for one that can still carry a full set of clubs.
How can you treat a lame dilf? Do you just leave them out in the field for a few months? "
A few grams of lead behind the ear. It's the kindest way. |
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"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.
Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.
In return I can offer nothing.
I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.
Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "
Attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent, all subjective, I feel I qualify though.
Older gentleman. Tick.
You lost me at silver fox.  
Winston |
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