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Witty insults
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
What's the best insult or putdown you have heard?
I liked this one:
If brains were made of rubber, you wouldn't have enough to make a flip flop for a one-legged budgie.
Or:
If you're so hard, what happened to your cock? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If brains were made of rubber, you wouldn't have enough to make a flip flop for a one-legged budgie.
"
That made me chuckle.
I like this one:
Is that your own brain, or are you breaking it in for an idiot?
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"If brains were made of rubber, you wouldn't have enough to make a flip flop for a one-legged budgie.
That made me chuckle.
I like this one:
Is that your own brain, or are you breaking it in for an idiot?
"
Like it!
How about, if you had another brain cell it'd be lonely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At work years ago, a customer was giving a delivery driver a barrage of abuse about blocking her car in a car park she should NOT have parked in. He calming took this vitriolic onslaught of of insults, then calmly said " If your cunt was as big as your mouth, your guts would fall out"
She shut up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At work years ago, a customer was giving a delivery driver a barrage of abuse about blocking her car in a car park she should NOT have parked in. He calming took this vitriolic onslaught of of insults, then calmly said " If your cunt was as big as your mouth, your guts would fall out"
She shut up"
Brilliant  |
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"At work years ago, a customer was giving a delivery driver a barrage of abuse about blocking her car in a car park she should NOT have parked in. He calming took this vitriolic onslaught of of insults, then calmly said " If your cunt was as big as your mouth, your guts would fall out"
She shut up"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like subtle ones... My fave is for someone who is not quite all there.....
The wheels spinning but the hamsters dead!"
the lights are on but there's no-one home
your one sandwich short of a picnic
the lift doesnt go to the top floor
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From The Birdcage...
Albert: '...and he keeps chewing gum in MY FACE!!!'
Male dancer: 'Chewing gum helps me think.'
Albert: 'Sweetie.... don't waste your gum....'
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At a party one of the (male) guests was being particularly vociferious when the female host why he had such a big mouth. He replied "I also have a big cock and when I go to fancy dress parties I throw it over my shoulder and go as a petrol pump" She smiled and offered him some canopies! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry?! No, I heard what you said, I just feel sorry for you.
How can you be that ugly with only one head?
Fuck off back to the sewage farm, they're missing a bag of shit! |
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"A girl once said to me " You an half got a small organ ! "
To which i replied " Yeh well i didnt know i was playing in a fuckin cathedral ! " "
Imitation is a form of flattery but in Wishy's case it's a failure to give a shit about repetition. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A girl once said to me " You an half got a small organ ! "
To which i replied " Yeh well i didnt know i was playing in a fuckin cathedral ! "
Imitation is a form of flattery but in Wishy's case it's a failure to give a shit about repetition. "
Hey, it's a witty insult thread so it applies on here. What was your post doing on here though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle."
Not heard that one before. The version I know and use is "a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your brain is as big as your arse/boobs, then you may be as stupid as you are.
Okay ..... I GIVE in .....
Read it , Read it , Read it again ?
"
Substitute the word cock for arse/boobs and you'll get it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your brain is as big as your arse/boobs, then you may be as stupid as you are.
Okay ..... I GIVE in .....
Read it , Read it , Read it again ?
"
.
Oops, missed out the "not" between "may" and "be".
However, I am sure those with a bit of a brain got my drift.
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"If your brain is as big as your arse/boobs, then you may be as stupid as you are.
Okay ..... I GIVE in .....
Read it , Read it , Read it again ?
Substitute the word cock for arse/boobs and you'll get it. "
Hate to go all fucking purist here ( in a 'fun' thread ) but that also necessitates the substitution of BIG for small ....
e.g if your brain is the SAME size as yoru cock then you are as stupid as you seem....
Sometimes it's just necessary to suck the life out of a million candle light bulb..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Next time you want to post in the forum can you send it by Royal Mail? We might get lucky and they'll lose it!!
(Something I've been we'll behaved enough - so far - never to have typed!)
But god it's tempting at times!!! |
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"If your brain is as big as your arse/boobs, then you may be as stupid as you are.
Okay ..... I GIVE in .....
Read it , Read it , Read it again ?
.
Oops, missed out the "not" between "may" and "be".
However, I am sure those with a bit of a brain got my drift.
"
Quite Pearl and those with a LOT of brain refuse to drift. |
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"Next time you want to post in the forum can you send it by Royal Mail? We might get lucky and they'll lose it!!
(Something I've been we'll behaved enough - so far - never to have typed!)
But god it's tempting at times!!! "
Why d'you think I asked you to meet by parcel post... ? |
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"[Removed by poster at 11/11/12 13:29:31]
Danny James,
'I bet as a child you were such a c t ,Michael Jackson made you sleep in your own bed.'
now thats plain naughty "
He was putting down a heckler at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The biggest argument in their house is, 'just cos we're divorced, it doesn't mean you're not my sister anymore!'
May the hairs on your arse turn into splinters.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's better to let people think you a twat than open you mouth and prove it beyond all probable doubt "
i believe that line will get you a ban on here if used in a thread  |
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