FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does being polite and honest get you anywhere
Does being polite and honest get you anywhere
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For people that like a decent human being then it works perfectly. For someone who wants to be treated like shit then it is less than ideal. There are both types of people in life - just find the type that likes you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could never be rude or obnoxious on purpose it's just not in me. I might take the Mick out of the people I know, but only in jest and because they do the same to me. |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"Not sure it does "
Honesty is the foundation of every human interaction...how could you not be honest...
Being polite is just the regular standard of respect...and if someone isn't polite towards you, well...you can than stop being polite to them.
Not sure what you mean with "get you anywhere " , but don't become cynical just because you had some negative experiences with rude and dishonest people.
Stay positive my friend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being polite and honest is a basic.
But I wouldn’t ignore other issues to meet someone just because they were polite and honest.
There’s got to be more than just that."
I want to bang you like the shithouse door when the plague's in town. Will that do?  |
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"Not sure it does
It's a basic requirement.
It's not the only requirement.
We don't reply or block for a variety of reasons.
Winston "
Yes. It's a bit like saying you don't go on killing sprees. Good start. And...? |
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Being polite and honest put me in very positive positions on here.
It has served me well in life too. Being polite doesn't hurt and being honest can be tough at times but ultimately it gives you a solid foundation of trust to build on.
But each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being polite and honest as people have said it’s a basic requirement. However, in real life and on the Internet. You need a little bit more than that as you’re trying to sell yourself.
Many peoples different ideas of attraction comes in many different forms. An established Professor at Manchester Metropolitan University one told me.
“i’d read thousands and thousands of different applications with CV. If the first few words don’t have any meaning or context. Doesn’t stand out. I won’t bother reading the rest”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people only polite and honest to get something in return?  "
this.
Also, if there is a place I can only get to by being rude and dishonest, I'm not sure it's a place I want to be.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have noticed since CVD19 started politeness, kindness and respect have been forgotten and these things don’t cost anything.
You should treat others the way you expect to be treated yourself at all times.
I was brought up properly not dragged up and will always treat my fellow human beings the same way.
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"Being polite and honest is a basic.
But I wouldn’t ignore other issues to meet someone just because they were polite and honest.
There’s got to be more than just that.
I want to bang you like the shithouse door when the plague's in town. Will that do? "
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If you are doing it to 'get somewhere' you are being 'Mr Nice Guy'. People can easily recognise this trait and end up thinking you're a creep, so that's why you'd get nowhere.
Be nice and polite because it's the right thing to do and because you want to. Don't expect anything back in return.
That's what I do, and I'm more than happy with how most of my life is going. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m always polite and honest regardless of my objective, though I do find this works against me as my conversations begin to shift toward whatever the other is planning on baking at the weekend far more often than it should! Not really complaining, I love a good baked treat.. |
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Well we do try to treat others as we like to be treated but seeing a fair few now labour under the illusion it's a sex site manners etc etc have largely gone out the window and rule of thumb with us is "Would you speak to us or more importantly Mrs4 like it in a bar/pub or any other public place" ?? although Mr4 does have the opinion it would be quite fun to witness ! as a knee to the groin hurts quite abit or even a rather hard slap around the face as she wouldn't ever waste her drink ...  |
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"If you are doing it to 'get somewhere' you are being 'Mr Nice Guy'. People can easily recognise this trait and end up thinking you're a creep, so that's why you'd get nowhere.
Be nice and polite because it's the right thing to do and because you want to. Don't expect anything back in return.
That's what I do, and I'm more than happy with how most of my life is going. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your expectation is the problem "
Sorry I don’t have any expectations, I am talking about people behaving the way they should towards others by showing respect, politeness and kindness these things cost nothing.
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"Maybe your expectation is the problem
Sorry I don’t have any expectations, I am talking about people behaving the way they should towards others by showing respect, politeness and kindness these things cost nothing.
"
Emotional labour isn't free. |
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It’s tough because lots of people confuse standing up for yourself with being rude and unkind
Fuck everyone. Get yours. Be polite and kind while you do it, but he unapologetic and ruthless too.
There’s a fine balance between letting people walk all over you and being a cunt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure it does
It's a basic requirement.
It's not the only requirement.
We don't reply or block for a variety of reasons.
Winston
Yes. It's a bit like saying you don't go on killing sprees. Good start. And...?"
Define a "spree" 
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m always polite and honest regardless of my objective, though I do find this works against me as my conversations begin to shift toward whatever the other is planning on baking at the weekend far more often than it should! Not really complaining, I love a good baked treat.."
I am going to challenge and say if it is working against you (which I read as being a negative for you) and you aren't acting to resolve this, you may not be as honest as you could be.
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"Maybe your expectation is the problem
Sorry I don’t have any expectations, I am talking about people behaving the way they should towards others by showing respect, politeness and kindness these things cost nothing.
"
Is there one set of behaviours for every situation? I don't think there is. If someone is treating me badly and I can't walk away I'll say so, respectfully at first but if it continues I won't be kind or nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
"
That takes resources one might not have, for any reason.
I also worry about the decline in civility, but we also need to recognise that this isn't without cost.
If I'm "on" and "nice" all the time, I wear out. Sometimes I just need to do my thing and be left alone. |
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
"
We recently had a thread where it was decided that in some cases it's better to wait until asked before offering help. In those instances the polite thong to do is not offer. My father takes huge offence at being offered help. |
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
We recently had a thread where it was decided that in some cases it's better to wait until asked before offering help. In those instances the polite thong to do is not offer. My father takes huge offence at being offered help."
That’s a sad state of affairs when someone getting annoyed at being offered help trumps someone that’s too shy to ask for it
It takes 5 seconds to say “nah I’m good thanks though”
Someone that too shy to ask, or needs help but too proud to ask, has to suffer in silence because someone’s ego can’t handle being asked.
That’s why the worlds so shit these days |
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
We recently had a thread where it was decided that in some cases it's better to wait until asked before offering help. In those instances the polite thong to do is not offer. My father takes huge offence at being offered help.
That’s a sad state of affairs when someone getting annoyed at being offered help trumps someone that’s too shy to ask for it
It takes 5 seconds to say “nah I’m good thanks though”
Someone that too shy to ask, or needs help but too proud to ask, has to suffer in silence because someone’s ego can’t handle being asked.
That’s why the worlds so shit these days "
I'm pretty sure I'll blame someone screaming at a teenaged member of staff with no power as a reason for the world being shit, over someone being upset that they've been made to feel less dignified and independent.
(I also ask if I can help. So far the worst I've had is "no" rather than "no thank you". Somehow I'll survive) |
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
We recently had a thread where it was decided that in some cases it's better to wait until asked before offering help. In those instances the polite thong to do is not offer. My father takes huge offence at being offered help.
That’s a sad state of affairs when someone getting annoyed at being offered help trumps someone that’s too shy to ask for it
It takes 5 seconds to say “nah I’m good thanks though”
Someone that too shy to ask, or needs help but too proud to ask, has to suffer in silence because someone’s ego can’t handle being asked.
That’s why the worlds so shit these days "
My dad is 95, partially sighted and a proud man. His upbringing and experiences of life make it very difficult for him to accept help and if he's offered a seat on the bus by a woman for instance he feels deeply affronted. I doubt his contribution to the general shitness of the world is huge |
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"why would anyone consider less it's the starting point, who is ever going to meet an asshole?"
I used to see "I know what soap is" on profiles a lot.
To me, "being polite doesn't get you anywhere" sounds like "bathing doesn't contribute to meets, guess I should stop" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
We recently had a thread where it was decided that in some cases it's better to wait until asked before offering help. In those instances the polite thong to do is not offer. My father takes huge offence at being offered help.
That’s a sad state of affairs when someone getting annoyed at being offered help trumps someone that’s too shy to ask for it
It takes 5 seconds to say “nah I’m good thanks though”
Someone that too shy to ask, or needs help but too proud to ask, has to suffer in silence because someone’s ego can’t handle being asked.
That’s why the worlds so shit these days "
Totally agree with your comments. We need to remember the older generation fought in Two World Wars for our country and some don’t want or accept help as they are set in their ways. I always offer help if I see anyone struggling and you are right the world is in a very bad place right now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Emotional labour isn't free.[/quote
I’m not taking about that I am talking about being polite example recently older lady was struggling to get a tin of something from a top shelf in my local supermarket.
I was the only one who went over and asked if she needed help as was clearly struggling. She said yes I do that is very kind of you thanks very much.
That’s all it takes.
We recently had a thread where it was decided that in some cases it's better to wait until asked before offering help. In those instances the polite thong to do is not offer. My father takes huge offence at being offered help."
The Polite Thong is doing a G Thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, not in the slightest, these are neutral traits in terms of life success. Some people get on fine being that way, others get a good result by being less than honest and often very rude.
For example if you say 'excuse me madam, I have looked at your pics and quite fancy fucking you. I am an inconsiderate lover and have 3 STI's. Would you please consider meeting me' you are being polite and possibly honest but you're unlikely to get a meet.
Being a nice person, having physical and mental characteristics the other person finds attractive are what gets you a meet. Being polite and honest are often in this list but rarely are they all of it.
Mr |
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