FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Apparently I'm not cunty enough.
Apparently I'm not cunty enough.
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So I was told by a friend a while ago that I'm too nice and need to be more cunty. He thinks that's the reason I get fucked over so much, but it's not in my nature to be cunty and as ive aged I've just come to the realisation that the people that do fuck me over are cunts themselves.
Also what's wrong with been kind and chill, isn't that what most people want in a partner/friend ? |
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"So I was told by a friend a while ago that I'm too nice and need to be more cunty. He thinks that's the reason I get fucked over so much, but it's not in my nature to be cunty and as ive aged I've just come to the realisation that the people that do fuck me over are cunts themselves.
Also what's wrong with been kind and chill, isn't that what most people want in a partner/friend ?"
Totally just be your self - there’s too many horrible people in the world as it is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just be you.
Why anyone would try to be a cunt I've no idea.
I don't think I could if I tried."
Don't try! Just be you, and stay away from the cunty people |
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"Just be you.
Why anyone would try to be a cunt I've no idea.
I don't think I could if I tried.
Don't try! Just be you, and stay away from the cunty people "
I always seem to end up finding them, thinking they are OK then it just all blows up. It's kind of funny. |
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Don't be a pushover but continue to be nice but understand that being nice doesn't entitle you to anything. Complaining that being nice is a disadvantage always makes me wonder what people think nice is. |
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"Be yourself. There’s too much unkindness in the world already. Your mate sounds like a tosser if he’s encouraging cuntish behaviour. "
He's a good soul he's just had to put up with a lot of crap in his life. He's helped me a lot in recent months. |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
I don't know what "nice" even means...it's such a generic term. I know that being kind and respectful is never a bad thing...but that includes being respectful towards yourself! Don't allow people to treat you horrible or in a disrespectful manner! Have boundaries! |
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"I don't know what "nice" even means...it's such a generic term. I know that being kind and respectful is never a bad thing...but that includes being respectful towards yourself! Don't allow people to treat you horrible or in a disrespectful manner! Have boundaries!"
I think that's one of my problems I find it difficult to set them as I worry I'll offend someone if I say that's not OK. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I was told by a friend a while ago that I'm too nice and need to be more cunty. He thinks that's the reason I get fucked over so much, but it's not in my nature to be cunty and as ive aged I've just come to the realisation that the people that do fuck me over are cunts themselves.
Also what's wrong with been kind and chill, isn't that what most people want in a partner/friend ?"
been told that many a time but I am who I am and like myself for it! |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
Sometimes people confuse putting boundaries in place as being “cunty”.
You can still be a kind person but put boundaries in place which protect you and keep you safe. Especially if you find that you’re more likely to be emotionally vulnerable than others. Though to be honest I think having healthy boundaries in life is generally good advice. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I think most people believe themselves to be nice even when they are far from it.Even the nastiest person will find reasons that justify their behaviour and see themselves as being a nice person. I am always wary of people who need to tell others they are nice because usually they are the opposite.And this is not aimed at you OP I don't know you it's just what I have found both on here and in life outside of here.
All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. |
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"I think most people believe themselves to be nice even when they are far from it.Even the nastiest person will find reasons that justify their behaviour and see themselves as being a nice person. I am always wary of people who need to tell others they are nice because usually they are the opposite.And this is not aimed at you OP I don't know you it's just what I have found both on here and in life outside of here.
All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. "
I understand that I don't go around tell people hey look I'm a nice guy, we all have our moments of madness and do or say things we shouldn't. I just wanted to see other people's opinions. |
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The trick is to know your worth and not let people take advantage of your kindness.
Only give to people that deserve to receive and cut off leaches.
Definitely never any need to be cunty or change your ways because things aren't coming your way, just be patient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate the word nice. It tells me nothing.
Do you feel you are walked over and are happy with your life ?
A few years ago I probably would have said I'm a "nice guy". It meant I didn't set boundaries. I also came to realise that I was doing "nice things" but expecting a pay off. Just the other person didn't know this.
Paying for lunch is a nice gesture. Only if you expect nothing in return. And don't then hold it against that person when they say they can't give you a lift to work.
I agree when people say be you. I'd add, aim each day to be a better version of you. Which sometimes means change.
Don't be a cunt tho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one is born cunty, life and people do that to you. Most of the time it's a defence mechanism to treat people like shit rather than love to avoid being hurt. Don't let someone else's actions decide who you are. |
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"
A few years ago I probably would have said I'm a "nice guy". It meant I didn't set boundaries. I also came to realise that I was doing "nice things" but expecting a pay off. Just the other person didn't know this.
Paying for lunch is a nice gesture. Only if you expect nothing in return. And don't then hold it against that person when they say they can't give you a lift to work.
"
This is so true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most people believe themselves to be nice even when they are far from it.Even the nastiest person will find reasons that justify their behaviour and see themselves as being a nice person. I am always wary of people who need to tell others they are nice because usually they are the opposite.And this is not aimed at you OP I don't know you it's just what I have found both on here and in life outside of here.
All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. "
Yep, I agree with this. Instant red flag for me if someone describes themself as a 'nice guy'...
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"Don't be a pushover but continue to be nice but understand that being nice doesn't entitle you to anything. Complaining that being nice is a disadvantage always makes me wonder what people think nice is."
I agree  |
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Ive been shafted in business and in my private life way more than i care to remember - but fuck it is my attitude - I don’t do revenge or grudges because its just so negative - ilifes about balance so in a world full of cnuts - we need nice guys for balance … just be you!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes people confuse putting boundaries in place as being “cunty”.
You can still be a kind person but put boundaries in place which protect you and keep you safe. Especially if you find that you’re more likely to be emotionally vulnerable than others. Though to be honest I think having healthy boundaries in life is generally good advice. "
Thai is really great advice. |
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"I also think being too eager can be an issue as it can invite a certain type of person to take advantage of you and may scare away others."
Probably very true of me, hard to change a habit of a lifetime though. |
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"You’re from Scunthorpe- it’s so cunty that it often gets censored by applications for its rude cuntyness filled name, just rejoice in that  "
Lol wasn't born here though spent the first 30 years of ky life in York. |
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"Treat them mean keep them keen is a saying for a reason
 "
Roll your eyes all you want, you think every woman these days has a long list of fuck boy issues because they don’t kinda like that stuff?
It’s a saying for a reason, if it didn’t hold some truth it wouldn’t be a saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most people believe themselves to be nice even when they are far from it.Even the nastiest person will find reasons that justify their behaviour and see themselves as being a nice person. I am always wary of people who need to tell others they are nice because usually they are the opposite.And this is not aimed at you OP I don't know you it's just what I have found both on here and in life outside of here.
All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. "
spot on. Everyone thinks that they are nice. Or the good one. Or have the ‘right’ opinions and are on the right side of history etc, the fact is nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws, and our perception of right and wrong might be the polar opposite of somebody else’s (who also believe that it’s THEM that’s the nice one).
Just be true to yourself, live what you believe to be your best life in your own way, but in doing so be wary of the consequences of your actions / behaviour. |
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I was dumped by my first girlfriend at 2 mins before midnight on NYE and her parting words were "you're too nice" before she snogged the local bad boy.
It made me consider my entire attitude and demeanour but I couldn't be something I'm not.
I worked in management for 25 years and was told a few times I was a pushover by my bosses but they failed to see that I didn't manage by fear and the staff all responded positively to me and we never failed to hit targets.
I prefer to let my actions speak louder than my words.
|
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"You’re from Scunthorpe- it’s so cunty that it often gets censored by applications for its rude cuntyness filled name, just rejoice in that
Lol wasn't born here though spent the first 30 years of ky life in York."
See, its true! you weren't born cunty |
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