FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do single mums get this grief?
Do single mums get this grief?
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Dating as a single parent. Why do people think I’m married or hiding something! I’m a single dad to my 14 year old son who visits his mum every second weekend so setting up a meets hard and takes planning and obviously I can’t drop things just like that. After talking to a couple for a few days they wanted to meet but I can’t as my free weekends just gone, the grief and shit I got from them was out of order just because I couldn’t meet within the week…….delete….block |
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Sadly…this is FAB. All sense of understanding and nuances of reality are out the window.
We are all stereotypes on here. If you’re a single guy you must obviously be cheating on someone if you can’t meet when others say so! Etc etc.
Sad. But, Fab Fact of the day!
Saying that, there are the odd one or two people on here who are gems and real diamonds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They're just entitled. They're used to guys falling over themselves to come see them. If you want to schedule they get pissy. "
Or they could have been stung previously by a cheat and now are over cautious.
See, it's assumptions like your own here that just like the one the OP mentioned cause these kind of issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had similar OP, because we can struggle with spare time to meet (when seeking) we've had a few single guys assume we are fake, though our profile should express otherwise.
It's a tough scene at times and way too often people jump to conclusions, sometimes the wrong ones.
It's a shame but at the same time it's a great indicator of lack of compatibility. |
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"They're just entitled. They're used to guys falling over themselves to come see them. If you want to schedule they get pissy.
Or they could have been stung previously by a cheat and now are over cautious.
See, it's assumptions like your own here that just like the one the OP mentioned cause these kind of issues."
Nah.
Being cautious is not giving grief and giving shit. That's damaged ego. |
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Because a lot of single guys who claim to be be single dads are actually still married. Don't blame women for being skeptical, blame the men for breaking their trust.
Having said that I'm very trusting of others despite being lied to for quite some time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They're just entitled. They're used to guys falling over themselves to come see them. If you want to schedule they get pissy.
Or they could have been stung previously by a cheat and now are over cautious.
See, it's assumptions like your own here that just like the one the OP mentioned cause these kind of issues.
Nah.
Being cautious is not giving grief and giving shit. That's damaged ego. "
Possibly through being hurt by cheating.
Fact is, just like the couple the OP mentions, we are both only making assumptions and this is where things collapse. |
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"They're just entitled. They're used to guys falling over themselves to come see them. If you want to schedule they get pissy.
Or they could have been stung previously by a cheat and now are over cautious.
See, it's assumptions like your own here that just like the one the OP mentioned cause these kind of issues.
Nah.
Being cautious is not giving grief and giving shit. That's damaged ego. "
To be fair we don't know what the 'grief and shit' was that the op got. |
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"Dating as a single parent. Why do people think I’m married or hiding something! I’m a single dad to my 14 year old son who visits his mum every second weekend so setting up a meets hard and takes planning and obviously I can’t drop things just like that. After talking to a couple for a few days they wanted to meet but I can’t as my free weekends just gone, the grief and shit I got from them was out of order just because I couldn’t meet within the week…….delete….block"
I co-parent with my ex so I have my boys half of each month. Not had any issues yet but saying that no one has shown any interest lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally, it's the woman that will be the main parent
Yet on here, there's a statistically high number of men claiming they're the main parent  "
True, though co-parenting is becoming more the way forward.
I (Mr) am the main parent, though we do pretty much 50/50 co-parenting. |
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I was asked by the couple if I was married and just making excuses and when I explained my situation that just made it worse as they didn’t believe I was a single dad. They then said we’re not bothering talking anymore as it’s obvious your fake 
As a few of you have said, shows compatibility and lack of understanding
Hey ho back to the search page x |
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When I first was on here I was a single mum and yea some idiots wouldn’t accept I wouldn’t and couldn’t just drop my daughter and her needs to shag them!
Single dads are rare but not totally unheard of I know a few, 50/50 parenting is becoming more common too plus people have real lives!
Not just kids but work, hobbies, older parents etc fab is one aspect of our lives, even now my daughter is an adult I’m not and never have been interested in quick meets off the basis of one or 2 messages! I don’t think many are despite the stereotype of single men on fab I think most are the same and need to know if there’s a connection, a spark that means that meeting will be fruitful
Try not to take it to heart and consider it “bullet dodged” entitled demanding people tend to be shit in bed anyway! |
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I’m a sole parent…so I get it. Between working and parenting 2 kids free time is minuscule. But when you find someone that understands your circumstances it can be great.
The ones that try to push you, or invite themselves round to your home, just no…it’s a good filter at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly OP it’s easy to be tarred with the same brush, especially if the other party has been burned before.
If a guy can’t arrange something with me fairly quickly then he’s not for me. Just incompatible circumstances.
No excuse for anybody to be rude towards you though xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We got similar from a couple not long after we joined. We're both carers and I look after someone who is terminally ill, so free time can be limited and with the best will in the world, even planned time just between ourselves is often subject to change, far less meeting others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s because there are quite a few that forget to add, that they are in fact, in relationships.
I’ve had this recently - and sadly, it does make you question things.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How very weird people can be.
To me a single parent (ie responsible enough and mature enough to care for someone else more than themselves) is attractive. Less likely to be an axe murderer for a start. |
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A lot claim to be single but aren’t. Or they are still living with the ex…but the marriage is over… been stung that way and so I’m extra cautious now.
That said, I wouldn’t get the arse because someone couldn’t meet within a week!
It can take an age for me to meet someone due to childcare/work/other commitments so I get it. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Generally, it's the woman that will be the main parent
Yet on here, there's a statistically high number of men claiming they're the main parent "
I’m a single dad to a 21 year old daughter but we have an agreement, earbuds or stay out…… I opt to stay out 
Anyway I thought in Wakefield they were down the mine or up chimneys at 14 ? |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"The number of times I heard "can't you just get a baby sitter" "don't you have every other weekend free" "I'll come round when the kids in bed" ugh!"
This. Or chatting to me like I think my kids are inconvenience because they’ve chatted to other women who spoke like that about their kids.  |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"Because a lot of single guys who claim to be be single dads are actually still married. Don't blame women for being skeptical, blame the men for breaking their trust.
"
Yeah, blame all men for everything. Such comments makes me sick.
I am single dad half of my time, have work and hobbies. As much as I love to be spontaneous I am not desperate to drop everything to get my cock wet.
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"Thanks for the messages guys and girls
It’s there loss and as most say, I dodged a bullet
"
Yes, exactly, their loss.
Probably they’ll appear later with yet another topic on the forum they being stood up by a guy (not you) they agreed to meet in a drop of a hat but was actually fake |
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Dating or meets?
With meets I get asked if I'm really single a lot. They don't necessarily know I'm a mam though.
I don't really date but had the same thing, men asking if I'm actually single or a lot of time off in getting back with my ex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a single mum to a nearly 16 year old. He is on study leave n im struggling to accommodate now. I cancelled a meet with a guy n i got so much abuse. I was full of bullshit n disrespectful frankly that's what he said. You can't win. |
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"Thanks for the messages guys and girls
It’s there loss and as most say, I dodged a bullet
Yes, exactly, their loss.
Probably they’ll appear later with yet another topic on the forum they being stood up by a guy (not you) they agreed to meet in a drop of a hat but was actually fake "
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I do get this all the time, as a single mum to two school age children with special needs.
I think it helps I don’t have any sense of urgency or expectations and I’m quite straightforward upfront when I agree to meet someone. It also acts as a good filter for those who are only interested in quick shag.
That’s why all I’m having for now is an odd local social aka coffee/lunch date and a very rare club visit if I’m lucky enough to have a weekend off. And that’s fine for me and I guess for people I meet too as they all have been understanding so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a single dad to 2 boys 13 and 9
I’m sorry to say I get it as well, I’ve had some right stroppy messages as I won’t just drop everything or in their words “ get a babysitter then”
My wife passed away so the only time I tend to get it weekdays when they are at school or the one weekend a month when they go to their grans, people automatically assume I’m cheating or have something to hide. It can be quite disheartening at times |
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People are odd. 
