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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for me affairs are always wrong. There is no relationship without trust and honesty.
Swinging is about exploring things together with people you love. The bond between swinging couples must be exceptionally strong.
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I think total honesty is the only way to achieve a good relationship with any one not just a long term partner. For me/us the swinging side of our life wouldn't work without honesty either. So I think my answer to your question is that affairs are wrong and swinging will never be an answer to any problem. |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
is playing now and again at swingers clubs realy classed as an affair? surely a full time lover behind your partners back is worse... isnt swinging sex just sex with no feelings ? just wondering people thoughts |
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Swinging and one night stands my not be affairs... However the trust and honesty a true relationship is built on is destroyed. We are fairly new to swinging but would never cheat... Swinging is all about trust and honesty.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devil's advocate -
so it would appear from some of the responses above that "to swing" you have to be in a relationship ?"
in my opinion yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devil's advocate -
so it would appear from some of the responses above that "to swing" you have to be in a relationship ?"
Yes, otherwise it is not swinging .
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"Just playing devil's advocate -
so it would appear from some of the responses above that "to swing" you have to be in a relationship ?"
My opinion no you don't have to be in a relationship but if you are swing with partner or stop in there bed |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
that was just a question, i realise couples that swing as a couple generaly have v strong and honest relationships thats how it works. its amazing on thease forums just by asking questions u get hung drawn and quarterd in one sentence i must be the lowest of the low except if u read the thread it ws just a question im nt in a relationship!!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK, I guess I'm not a swinger then, being a single person  "
Its up to yourself how you want to be defined. I see myself as just a single person having casual sex when i want it.
Would that make all my mates who arent on sex sits but do exsactly the same as me swingers? Perhaps its a frame of mind..
What is a swinger? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think total honesty is the only way to achieve a good relationship with any one not just a long term partner. For me/us the swinging side of our life wouldn't work without honesty either. So I think my answer to your question is that affairs are wrong and swinging will never be an answer to any problem."
This why I love polyamorous liaisons... Very different to swinging in that communication is strong. Everyone sexually involved or just romantically intimate know and respect each others boundaries... I'm talking from first hand experience.... Swinging still trying to get my head round it as I'm relatively new to it.. Yes it's no strings fun with like minded individuals... I get that bit... What I don't get is the withholding of info that. May affect significant others whether they swing or not. Ebony  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"that was just a question, i realise couples that swing as a couple generaly have v strong and honest relationships thats how it works. its amazing on thease forums just by asking questions u get hung drawn and quarterd in one sentence i must be the lowest of the low except if u read the thread it ws just a question im nt in a relationship!!!!! "
dont see anyone shooting you down.. |
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"that was just a question, i realise couples that swing as a couple generaly have v strong and honest relationships thats how it works. its amazing on thease forums just by asking questions u get hung drawn and quarterd in one sentence i must be the lowest of the low except if u read the thread it ws just a question im nt in a relationship!!!!!
dont see anyone shooting you down.. "
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"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging"
Cos wiki is the font of all knowledge, you can't make stuff up and put it on there lol
For me I think single people can be called swingers. There are lots of swinging couples who only meet single men or women, if the couples are swingers why can't the singles they meet be swingers to?
Back to the OP though.....if someone is lied to by someone they trust then that is wrong, be it a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/fuckbuddy etc.
Not saying I am whiter than white. I have met married men in the past, knowing they were married....but that was in my younger crazier days on fab when I couldn't get enough cock lol not saying it was right and to be fair I never asked why they did it etc. Everyone has their reasons for doing things, you only have the ability to affect your own actions based on the information you are given. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging
Cos wiki is the font of all knowledge, you can't make stuff up and put it on there lol
For me I think single people can be called swingers. There are lots of swinging couples who only meet single men or women, if the couples are swingers why can't the singles they meet be swingers to?
Back to the OP though.....if someone is lied to by someone they trust then that is wrong, be it a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/fuckbuddy etc.
Not saying I am whiter than white. I have met married men in the past, knowing they were married....but that was in my younger crazier days on fab when I couldn't get enough cock lol not saying it was right and to be fair I never asked why they did it etc. Everyone has their reasons for doing things, you only have the ability to affect your own actions based on the information you are given. "
Well slap my wrist ;.) |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Just playing devil's advocate -
so it would appear from some of the responses above that "to swing" you have to be in a relationship ?"
no..... however as a single person I am not having to lie, and my conscience is clear in that what i am doing... it is the playing without consent and the justifications people come up with for doing it that get to me.....
if you have to lie to the one you profess to love more than anything in the world about something as big as this, that is when i have the issue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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are affairs all about deception, dishonesty being disingenuous? Is Swinging about adding spice to a strong relationship or an individual's sex life?... Observed how common it is to see couples wanting to play with singles... Single swingers get slated for wanting to play with other singles or couples...
No don't think you have to be in a relationship to swing... However when in a polyamorous relationship was very much involved with 2 men and a woman... All at the same time... However all of us were single who had one thing in common, we loved sex yet communicated all the time, till the man/woman couple wanted to be monogamous and exclusive... Ebony.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devil's advocate -
so it would appear from some of the responses above that "to swing" you have to be in a relationship ?
no..... however as a single person I am not having to lie, and my conscience is clear in that what i am doing... it is the playing without consent and the justifications people come up with for doing it that get to me.....
if you have to lie to the one you profess to love more than anything in the world about something as big as this, that is when i have the issue"
Exactly Fabio |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging implies having something to swing back to, therefore, singles may not be considered as swingers as they do not have a relationship to swing back to.
However, IMHO, singles swing back to being themselves and their own way of life, therefore, they can be considered as swingers.
Personally, I am on FAB to meet like-minded singles for fun and frolics, and don't give a toss whether I am considered as a swinger by some or not!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how wrong is an affair ?
two ways to look at it:
cheeting scum.
finding it else where but keeping family together.
does swinging cure the problem?  "
Is an affair wrong? of course it is.
And I do hope the line " cheating scum" applies to both sexes. People look elsewhere for sex for many reasons but you can't class swinging as a cure .
I enjoy this site but I'd never class myself as a swinger. Can a single person be a swinger ? You can swing either way on that one lol.
I admire the trust and honesty that swingers have between each other , its something I've never had |
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"how wrong is an affair ?
two ways to look at it:
cheeting scum.
finding it else where but keeping family together.
does swinging cure the problem?
Is an affair wrong? of course it is.
And I do hope the line " cheating scum" applies to both sexes. People look elsewhere for sex for many reasons but you can't class swinging as a cure .
I enjoy this site but I'd never class myself as a swinger. Can a single person be a swinger ? You can swing either way on that one lol.
I admire the trust and honesty that swingers have between each other , its something I've never had "
I wasn't aiming at any 1 sex and I wasn't calling anyone a cheating scum just trying to get some feedback |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how wrong is an affair ?
two ways to look at it:
cheeting scum.
finding it else where but keeping family together.
does swinging cure the problem?
Is an affair wrong? of course it is.
And I do hope the line " cheating scum" applies to both sexes. People look elsewhere for sex for many reasons but you can't class swinging as a cure .
I enjoy this site but I'd never class myself as a swinger. Can a single person be a swinger ? You can swing either way on that one lol.
I admire the trust and honesty that swingers have between each other , its something I've never had I wasn't aiming at any 1 sex and I wasn't calling anyone a cheating scum just trying to get some feedback "
No worries , its good to chat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK, I guess I'm not a swinger then, being a single person "
i dont class myself as a swinger as im single, i just use the site to find sex, i really dont see how me meeting on my own is swinging
But back to the question
I dont think the subject if cheating is black and white there are many shades of grey
People who want their cake and eat it, you know goes out and shags about but wants the Mrs at home to cook and clean for him and to be there for him when he wants her i think is wrong
But in situations where people may have ill partners, where they dedicate their lifes to looking after them, but at the end of the day we are still human and still have need, so they go and have a bit of 'me' time and have sex then back to looking after their partner im not sure if i see that as so bad, surely having that time away to get your needs out your system is better than having all that frustration building up being a 24/7 carer and feeling like you cant carry on anymore and leaving them full time meaning they need to be cared for by a stranger, in some cases people can be ill for many years and thats a hell of a long time to put your life on hold to look after someone, tho in a ideal world in sickness and in health would mean people would happily give up sex if their partner became to ill, but this isnt a ideal world and we all have needs that dont go away just because our morals say they should
its a very difficult subject and for me not a question that i can give a simple yes or not answer to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"for me affairs are always wrong. There is no relationship without trust and honesty.
Swinging is about exploring things together with people you love. The bond between swinging couples must be exceptionally strong.
"
humm i wouldnt go that far with some, i have had many many male halfs of couples on here try to get me to meet them behind their wifes back
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't care what one does with his/her life and conscience. Just be honest and do not try to justify your actions by claiming you are the "victim" in a relationship la di da.
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"how wrong is an affair ?
"
Anything which kills the trust between two people who need to be able to trust eachother is going to be damaging.
It's not just about the sex is it... it's about the lying. It could just as easily be running up debts and hiding it as much as chatting up some of the people at work or having a craft bj in the office.
Everyone has there own level of acceptable lying. Some may not be that bothered by someone secretly being friends with someone else........ others would go into emotional meltdown.
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"is playing now and again at swingers clubs realy classed as an affair? surely a full time lover behind your partners back is worse... isnt swinging sex just sex with no feelings ? just wondering people thoughts "
I can only speak for myself the woman half of this couple but for me swinging is no strings attached sex there is a subtle difference, I always have to like the men I have sex with and the women that Mr N is having sex with so no swinging is not just sex with no feelings. Betrayal is just that....betrayal whether it's sexual or emotional.
Put the boot on the other foot and think how it might feel |
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By *orkieMan
over a year ago
Who knows |
This subject or variations on it seems to be cropping up on a regular basis, affairs/ cheating / swinger/non swinger etc.
There is no definitive answer, it cant be either black or white when there are so many shades of grey involved (notice I didn't mention a number lol). Each person has their own reasons for doing what they do and without knowing the full story behind the headlines who is anyone to judge another person. Indeed what standards do you use as a yardstick, yours, your best friends, concensus of opinion??
Confucious say "Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opinion affairs are a betrayal of someones trust who you are in love in. If your in relationship and the love has gone out of it, having an affair is still out of order and a person should if possible get out of the relationship rather carry out lies.
Swinging as a single?? I'm single and wether I'm right or wrong I class myself as a swinger as I swing from couple to couple or a couple to a lady. |
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