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Hundreds of messages
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By *arialoue OP Woman
over a year ago
bradford |
I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply |
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As an experiment a few years ago, I set up a single woman's profile. I put up no photos and my text just said that I'm a man and only message me if you are utterly stupid.
I got several messages a minute (literally) from men asking for a shag. The polite ones told me how sexy I was.
It sounds like you've got off lightly. |
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By *arialoue OP Woman
over a year ago
bradford |
"I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply "
i forgot to mention that when i first joined i did get a fair few but still not loads
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you want hundreds of messages or do you think because you don't get them that other women don't?
I have filters on my account but even so, I haven't had hundreds of messages since the first week I joined. If I post photos/video I might get 30 a day. Im not envious of those who receive hundreds or even twice as many as I get. It would be awful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply i forgot to mention that when i first joined i did get a fair few but still not loads"
It depends on a lot of factors. How new your profile is, your age group, the area you live in, how active you are on the site etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You clearly must be a bot as most women's profiles delight in telling everyone they have 100+ messages an hour  "
I've never seen a woman's profile saying this  |
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"You clearly must be a bot as most women's profiles delight in telling everyone they have 100+ messages an hour
I've never seen a woman's profile saying this "
There's the odd one or two, especially in local updates |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply "
For how long as your profile been hidden?
Could this be the reason for lack of messages? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I normally get 20ish message a day, but when I put up new pics it will go into the hundreds very easily. Also I have asked guys not to verify me as when it says that I have been on the update if go's up as well.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You clearly must be a bot as most women's profiles delight in telling everyone they have 100+ messages an hour
I've never seen a woman's profile saying this
There's the odd one or two, especially in local updates"
That's quite different from "most women's profiles" though isn't it? I think he's just having a dig. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You clearly must be a bot as most women's profiles delight in telling everyone they have 100+ messages an hour
I've never seen a woman's profile saying this
There are plenty."
Sure |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I had hundreds of message sheets first day I joined. Before I put pictures or text on.
Since then not even close. Most days it's maybe 4 or 5. If I put a new picture up I'll maybe get 10, 20?
I've not got particularly tight filters any more, but I just figure that now everyone can see my face that's been enough to stop the messages!  |
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By *ob08Man
over a year ago
Macclesfield |
"You clearly must be a bot as most women's profiles delight in telling everyone they have 100+ messages an hour
I've never seen a woman's profile saying this
There are plenty.
Sure"
There are, just because you havnt seen them doesn't mean there aren't any |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had hundreds of message sheets first day I joined. Before I put pictures or text on.
Since then not even close. Most days it's maybe 4 or 5. If I put a new picture up I'll maybe get 10, 20?
I've not got particularly tight filters any more, but I just figure that now everyone can see my face that's been enough to stop the messages! "
Please don't be so mean to yourself and your lovely face  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You clearly must be a bot as most women's profiles delight in telling everyone they have 100+ messages an hour
I've never seen a woman's profile saying this
There are plenty.
Sure
There are, just because you havnt seen them doesn't mean there aren't any"
I said sure |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I had hundreds of message sheets first day I joined. Before I put pictures or text on.
Since then not even close. Most days it's maybe 4 or 5. If I put a new picture up I'll maybe get 10, 20?
I've not got particularly tight filters any more, but I just figure that now everyone can see my face that's been enough to stop the messages!
Please don't be so mean to yourself and your lovely face "
Maybe they don't need to message because they already have the face/boobs combo to wank over?
(Is that better?  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had hundreds of message sheets first day I joined. Before I put pictures or text on.
Since then not even close. Most days it's maybe 4 or 5. If I put a new picture up I'll maybe get 10, 20?
I've not got particularly tight filters any more, but I just figure that now everyone can see my face that's been enough to stop the messages!
Please don't be so mean to yourself and your lovely face
Maybe they don't need to message because they already have the face/boobs combo to wank over?
(Is that better? )"
Much  |
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"As an experiment a few years ago, I set up a single woman's profile. I put up no photos and my text just said that I'm a man and only message me if you are utterly stupid.
I got several messages a minute (literally) from men asking for a shag. The polite ones told me how sexy I was.
It sounds like you've got off lightly. "
---Is this the male talking here or the female? I don't see how this connects to the OP, who's been here over a year? It doesn't seem quite right comparing her to something that didn't exist I think.
Ok assuming this post is accurate (what were your motivations for making this fake profile I wonder?), one way to explain those results is simple New Profile attention. Many hare will mainly Search for 'New Profiles', esp if they are up to scratch with their area by regularly using Search. I'm sure that Fab has other ways of promoting new profiles too.
I'm not sure what you were looking for with this experiment, but a lot of people do spam their messages on Fab alas, and for a number of reasons I expect (including frustration and youthfulness - and what age was you fictitious woman I wonder?). Spamming of course explains the "you seem lovely/sexy, are you interested in sex?" messages you got (or however your 'polite ones' went) despite the deliberately off-putting profile you created.
I think that not seeing any picture at all is unlikely to be much of a hindrance for many people in terms of getting in touch - it either won't matter so much, they could gamble, or actually imagine whatever they like.
Also, some of the settings you may have had (such as web publicity) and of course the location you picked for your cipher could have made a big difference too.---- |
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"If I’m on hear a lot in a day then I’ll get a lot of messages if I post a pic I’ll get well over a 100 messages so it is possible "
-Actually being online, active and posting pics is prob the best recipe for attention, especially if a pic starts to 'trend' and its numbers take off for you.
It's easy to be on here and have no attention at all though, and if you post some pics at really popular times they can be left in the dust too. (you can always repost them another time though!) pt-- |
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When I was new I absolutely got hundreds of messages.
When I allowed messages, after the first few months, 30 a day or more if I posted a picture or a status.
(My filters are currently set to fuck off, so I get close to none).
But apart from the initial newbie frenzy, I think every woman's experience is different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t get 100’s of messages but I do get some…. I think it depends on how active you are and as said how often you post pics and if they are public and what time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply "
Good for you 
Some of us just can't be fucked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If some people want to court attention on here and get lots of messages - good for them. There seems to be a bit of shaming of those who do get lots of messages. And Some women are just bloody gorgeous and naturally attract more attention. They're not necessarily seeking it. Posting photos is often for the individual, and not seeking attention. Although men seem to assume women only take photos for their pleasure - I certainly don't. |
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"If some people want to court attention on here and get lots of messages - good for them. There seems to be a bit of shaming of those who do get lots of messages. And Some women are just bloody gorgeous and naturally attract more attention. They're not necessarily seeking it. Posting photos is often for the individual, and not seeking attention. Although men seem to assume women only take photos for their pleasure - I certainly don't. "
If some people get lots of messages, they get lots of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some people want to court attention on here and get lots of messages - good for them. There seems to be a bit of shaming of those who do get lots of messages. And Some women are just bloody gorgeous and naturally attract more attention. They're not necessarily seeking it. Posting photos is often for the individual, and not seeking attention. Although men seem to assume women only take photos for their pleasure - I certainly don't. "
Nice rack |
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"If some people want to court attention on here and get lots of messages - good for them. There seems to be a bit of shaming of those who do get lots of messages. And Some women are just bloody gorgeous and naturally attract more attention. They're not necessarily seeking it. Posting photos is often for the individual, and not seeking attention. Although men seem to assume women only take photos for their pleasure - I certainly don't.
If some people get lots of messages, they get lots of messages."
Yes it's no big deal either way. Neither group should feel shame or be shamed. I'm fine not being a lot of people type. I can then just focus on the guys who meet my criteria and I meet theirs.
I always wonder those guys who never get a reply only ever message the kind of woman who is likely to get the hundreds of messages a day. |
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The only issue I've ever had with people talking about the high number of messages they get is people talking about the high number of messages they get.
Whether you get 7 or 700 it has no bearing on anyone else.
The content of messages is irrelevant if the majority of them remain unread.
Someone claims to have 500 unread messages and that is almost like a challenge to others to chip in and say that's nothing I've 700 unread.
No one has control over the amount they receive but they do have the option of using the available filters to reduce those numbers if they don't have the time or energy to read them all.
Unless of course they need those numbers as a yardstick which regardless of what some like to claim is very much a thing especially in chat groups when screenshots of that little yellow box are shared.
If you really do get hundreds of messages a week and know that you will never ever read more than a handful it's very easy to bulk delete.
Some people will of course ask why they should have to use filters?
They don't have to use them at all but you have to wonder why they choose not to if they they are having such a difficult time. |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"As an experiment a few years ago, I set up a single woman's profile. I put up no photos and my text just said that I'm a man and only message me if you are utterly stupid.
I got several messages a minute (literally) from men asking for a shag. The polite ones told me how sexy I was.
It sounds like you've got off lightly. "
I used the filter on snapchat which makes you look like a woman, when it first came out, and uploaded a pic. My profile said I’m a guy, my profile information said I’m a guy, and I even had dick pics up. Still didn’t stop loads of guys messaging within the first 10-15mins |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"As an experiment a few years ago, I set up a single woman's profile. I put up no photos and my text just said that I'm a man and only message me if you are utterly stupid.
I got several messages a minute (literally) from men asking for a shag. The polite ones told me how sexy I was.
It sounds like you've got off lightly.
I used the filter on snapchat which makes you look like a woman, when it first came out, and uploaded a pic. My profile said I’m a guy, my profile information said I’m a guy, and I even had dick pics up. Still didn’t stop loads of guys messaging within the first 10-15mins "
Whaaaaaa  ?! ....I think I'll try this as well  . |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"
I used the filter on snapchat which makes you look like a woman, when it first came out, and uploaded a pic. My profile said I’m a guy, my profile information said I’m a guy, and I even had dick pics up. Still didn’t stop loads of guys messaging within the first 10-15mins
Whaaaaaa ?! ....I think I'll try this as well . "
Honestly! When I told them I was a guy they still replied with “lets meet now” or such messages. I understand why women have enough.
Then there is fabguys which is a whole different ballgame regarding messages… |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"
No one has control over the amount they receive but they do have the option of using the available filters to reduce those numbers if they don't have the time or energy to read them all.
"
... well from a female perspective you can fully control the amount of messages received ...restrict everyone and take the lead and message first ...too radical for some maybe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
No one has control over the amount they receive but they do have the option of using the available filters to reduce those numbers if they don't have the time or energy to read them all.
... well from a female perspective you can fully control the amount of messages received ...restrict everyone and take the lead and message first ...too radical for some maybe "
I've tried this a few times. It's too radical for me as I'd never approach the men I'm interested in. Too insecure! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it is because you don't have many pictures up, and no explicit pictures. Which is absolutely fine by the way. I guess it could be your location too?
But don't worry too much about it and just be yourself. As someone who can receive hundreds of messages, it's nothing special, all the same shite, gets very boring quickly. |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"
No one has control over the amount they receive but they do have the option of using the available filters to reduce those numbers if they don't have the time or energy to read them all.
... well from a female perspective you can fully control the amount of messages received ...restrict everyone and take the lead and message first ...too radical for some maybe
I've tried this a few times. It's too radical for me as I'd never approach the men I'm interested in. Too insecure!"
I can appreciate that ...but what's the worst that can happen? ...a rude reply and then you know that person isn't worth/worthy of your time?
Isn't that how the menfolk of Fab have to see it too everytime they send the first message?  |
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By *o30Woman
over a year ago
Lincoln |
"I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply i forgot to mention that when i first joined i did get a fair few but still not loads"
If I remember correctly when I first joined 8years ago, I got a total of 3 messages.
But it could depend on where you live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did especially when I first joined. I had no filters on and I wasn't sure how fab worked. It can still get busy of I've posted a new pic or been on cams |
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get about 100 a day, more at the weekend. I once got to page 1 of the hot photos section which meant I was visible to non site supporters (non site supporters only see page 1 which is why it's always the same people on it). On that day I got 950 messages. I have no idea how all those who are permanent page 1 residents deal with it. I try to reply to all of my messages unless they're disgusting or ridiculous, but sometimes I just can't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
No one has control over the amount they receive but they do have the option of using the available filters to reduce those numbers if they don't have the time or energy to read them all.
... well from a female perspective you can fully control the amount of messages received ...restrict everyone and take the lead and message first ...too radical for some maybe
I've tried this a few times. It's too radical for me as I'd never approach the men I'm interested in. Too insecure!
I can appreciate that ...but what's the worst that can happen? ...a rude reply and then you know that person isn't worth/worthy of your time?
Isn't that how the menfolk of Fab have to see it too everytime they send the first message? "
Yes, they do if they choose to approach strangers. They choose to do that. And I choose not to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve sent hundreds of messages without receiving a reply. You’ll get over it. "
Is that aimed at me? Why would I do that, sounds the definition of insanity. |
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I don’t think it matters how many messages you receive, it’s more how many are actually the ones you want to receive!
Whether it’s 1000 messages a day or 10…you’ll only have your interest piqued by about 5% of those…
K |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I keep reading about women getting hundreds of messages daily, well i can truly say that this isnt the case for me, n even when I do get the odd message, including if im not interested i do reply "
That's okay. I have never received a message for myself.
P gets all the attention (rightfully so).
C
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"I don’t think it matters how many messages you receive, it’s more how many are actually the ones you want to receive!
Whether it’s 1000 messages a day or 10…you’ll only have your interest piqued by about 5% of those…
K"
--Yeah the simpler the profile (text-wise and sometimes even picture-wise), the more the amount of messages, and without-doubt the greater amount of unsuitable ones too!
I spent an age fiddling with my profile to stop unwanted messages. I preferred to do that rather than just filter. Of course some people won't look at the profile text at all, but most people will at least glance at it.
(it's a complete myth that ppl never read profiles - people are really losing out thinking that, as 5 messages referring to a profile always turn out to be much better than 50 purely-speculative ones that don't.) pt--
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"on a normal day 20 ++ per day when the meet sign goes up then its lots can be 100+ but then our filters are set to guys only"
i might add 99% of those are a complete waste of time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think it matters how many messages you receive, it’s more how many are actually the ones you want to receive!
Whether it’s 1000 messages a day or 10…you’ll only have your interest piqued by about 5% of those…
K
--Yeah the simpler the profile (text-wise and sometimes even picture-wise), the more the amount of messages, and without-doubt the greater amount of unsuitable ones too!
I spent an age fiddling with my profile to stop unwanted messages. I preferred to do that rather than just filter. Of course some people won't look at the profile text at all, but most people will at least glance at it.
(it's a complete myth that ppl never read profiles - people are really losing out thinking that, as 5 messages referring to a profile always turn out to be much better than 50 purely-speculative ones that don't.) pt--
"
I'd say at least half of the people who message me haven't read my profile. Why do you think it's a myth? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think it matters how many messages you receive, it’s more how many are actually the ones you want to receive!
Whether it’s 1000 messages a day or 10…you’ll only have your interest piqued by about 5% of those…
K
--Yeah the simpler the profile (text-wise and sometimes even picture-wise), the more the amount of messages, and without-doubt the greater amount of unsuitable ones too!
I spent an age fiddling with my profile to stop unwanted messages. I preferred to do that rather than just filter. Of course some people won't look at the profile text at all, but most people will at least glance at it.
(it's a complete myth that ppl never read profiles - people are really losing out thinking that, as 5 messages referring to a profile always turn out to be much better than 50 purely-speculative ones that don't.) pt--
I'd say at least half of the people who message me haven't read my profile. Why do you think it's a myth? "
id say 75 to 80% dont read our profiles and its so easy to tell ... |
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"I'd say at least half of the people who message me haven't read my profile. Why do you think it's a myth? "
--I said "it's a myth that people never read profiles". You just said it's around 50/50 for you, which is actually good odds imo! (ie worth creating one for) --pt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say at least half of the people who message me haven't read my profile. Why do you think it's a myth?
--I said "it's a myth that people never read profiles". You just said it's around 50/50 for you, which is actually good odds imo! (ie worth creating one for) --pt"
I forgot to mention that the other half had read the profile but decided it didn't apply to them |
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"I rarely get huge amounts of message's either x"
I’m similar though I imagine part of that is because my profile can be off putting, and apparently I’m nicer in real life than my profile, as I first start by saying I don’t want to meet |
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"I don’t think it matters how many messages you receive, it’s more how many are actually the ones you want to receive!
Whether it’s 1000 messages a day or 10…you’ll only have your interest piqued by about 5% of those…
K
--Yeah the simpler the profile (text-wise and sometimes even picture-wise), the more the amount of messages, and without-doubt the greater amount of unsuitable ones too!
I spent an age fiddling with my profile to stop unwanted messages. I preferred to do that rather than just filter. Of course some people won't look at the profile text at all, but most people will at least glance at it.
(it's a complete myth that ppl never read profiles - people are really losing out thinking that, as 5 messages referring to a profile always turn out to be much better than 50 purely-speculative ones that don't.) pt--
"
Of course not all men but you would agree I'm really clear about the 5 miles thing on my profile. Yet I get messages from all over the country. |
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"I don’t think it matters how many messages you receive, it’s more how many are actually the ones you want to receive!
Whether it’s 1000 messages a day or 10…you’ll only have your interest piqued by about 5% of those…
K
--Yeah the simpler the profile (text-wise and sometimes even picture-wise), the more the amount of messages, and without-doubt the greater amount of unsuitable ones too!
I spent an age fiddling with my profile to stop unwanted messages. I preferred to do that rather than just filter. Of course some people won't look at the profile text at all, but most people will at least glance at it.
(it's a complete myth that ppl never read profiles - people are really losing out thinking that, as 5 messages referring to a profile always turn out to be much better than 50 purely-speculative ones that don't.) pt--
Of course not all men but you would agree I'm really clear about the 5 miles thing on my profile. Yet I get messages from all over the country."
---It couldn't be clearer and you'd at least expect them to refer to it, but I guess when they don't read they don't read. --pt |
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