FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you cope on your own?
How do you cope on your own?
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
Realistically, I don't. I try, keep myself busy, go see other people, but these days I just don't cope well on my own. The kids help keep me busy and I love them dearly but nowt beats adult company
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I talk to my cat, or myself. Seriously though, if you do want company you could try joining local community groups or activity clubs. You'll find people in similar situations  |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
I'm lucky that I can phone my parents, or in an absolute pinch, my brother.
And I live in a village where just about everyone I pass says good morning, even to strangers... although they may be talking to the dog.
I suspect without those things, I'd be standing outside Sainsburys trying to make conversation with randoms... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP.. coping on your own is hard work, I've been there.
Best thing to do is try and find some social aspect to keep you going, for me it was turning to sites like this, talking to people I didn't know who couldn't judge or whom I wouldn't need to feel awkward if I bumped into them.
Whatever it is, we're all here for you.
My inbox is always open to you if you need someone to talk to, I genuinely mean it.
Same goes to all, if you're struggling and need a friendly chat or even just someone to listen.. I'm here. |
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I struggle too especially when I don't have the children.
Is there a local wellbeing coordinator attached to your GP? The one I saw was very helpful and put me in touch with some local mental health groups for men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hugs
Online gameing works wonders
You can be on your own and also have people to talk to
If you want to be alone alone then just log off
If feeling need to talk just log back on
that way you always have friends around you no matter what
Yes it may not be serious talk or life talk
But just general Chating to someone can make it all that better
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I’m sorry to hear it’s been tough OP. I find if I’m peopled out and need space but don’t want to dwell in silence I have to plan things in. Long walks, movies, date myself for lunch or dinner. Fill your time things that bring you joy so you’re not thinking about being alone as such. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I talk to my cat, or myself. Seriously though, if you do want company you could try joining local community groups or activity clubs. You'll find people in similar situations "
I agree with this! All of it!
Any sort of club will help, also brings that routine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've spent very little of my life alone, and none without someone to chat to so am somewhat limited in experience. The short period I had my own flat was also a bad time in my life and I needed and wanted that space. That said, when it got too much I filled it with exercise. This uses time, makes you feel better and helps you sleep.
You've had plenty of offers for people to chat to already but I'll add another in case I can help. Feeling lonely/alone or just feeling low is not a nice place to be.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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3 years I’ve been alone.
Family turned their back on me when relationship failed with mrs, had to start again from scratch.
See the ex and kids every other week, we still get along, but no family and friends I can rely on.
Work stupid hours and come home to a quiet house, been on my own that long I struggle to socialise, hence why I’m jumping on the forums, my only form of chat.
Have tried messaging a few peeps on here and other forums, always state my intentions to chat, but never escalates.
I just do one day at a time, it’s all I can do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love my own space never get bored and if I do go out visit family and friends but if your longing to have that special someone I suppose you can feel lonely….. but it’s not what it’s all cracked up to be x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh OP it can be hard. I sometimes feel this when my kids are with their Dad for a weekend (especially when it’s a holiday type weekend & other people are doing stuff with family)
I mess around on here, get the wine out & have a disco for one and then try and make plans for other weekends so I have something to look forward to.
Hope you are ok. Xx |
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I’ve spent most of my life alone. Either here or in far off places. I enjoy music, so there is sound when I want it. I live in the deep countryside, many animals, both wild and domesticated, they get talked at occasionally, I’m sure they don’t mind.
I have developed an inner narration, a comforting, soothing, contemplative voice that is always with me. I think most people have a voice inside of them, the key is to make that voice a positive one (although I will confess it’s sometimes a deviant one).
When I go for a ride I hear my voice, as I use it to control the horse, although these days this is done more with heels, calves and hands.
I gu so what I am saying is that you can adapt to the quietness of a solitary life, if you want too, but nature and the world, no matter how distant people might be, is seldom quiet. Be well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend
During difficult times I find going for a long walk in nature helps. Hugs x"
this 
since tranquility, serenity, and beauty of nature has always helped me find equilibrium...
best wishes... |
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I don't get much time to get lonely but on such rare occasions, my grandkids wanting to come for a sleep over has been known to restore my sanity. The faces as they get offered the choice of hot dogs, cheese burgers, pizza or chicken nuggets followed by the variety of ice creams on offer are priceless. According to them though what they like best about staying at grandpa's is that they don't get shouted at. I have been known to call it physio therapy for stressed out executives. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
I spend almost no time in the physical presence of other people and have lived like this for the last 3 years, I live alone and my work is 95% solitary and I don’t socialise as such here. I guess I’m just used to it, I lose myself in a book most days and chat online and there’s someone I have a phone call with for an hour or so each day. |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
"I don't get much time to get lonely but on such rare occasions, my grandkids wanting to come for a sleep over has been known to restore my sanity. The faces as they get offered the choice of hot dogs, cheese burgers, pizza or chicken nuggets followed by the variety of ice creams on offer are priceless. According to them though what they like best about staying at grandpa's is that they don't get shouted at. I have been known to call it physio therapy for stressed out executives. "
Sounds very familiar, nice to give them back though at the end of a weekend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m fine with my own company but always nice to have some company too .
I live and work alone and pretty much have done all my adult life . I live rural and no close neighbours and I love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I enjoy my own company. Enjoy socialising, but equally happy in my own company"
That's great when you get the opportunity to socialise. I think OP is struggling with loneliness not just living alone. there is a big difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be good to yourself the relationship you have with yourself is so important keep making the good stuff happen and things you enjoy doing xxx"
I have a friend who gave me some advice to soend some time with myself. I didn’t quite know what he meant at first but, after talking to him, I got it. It took me a while to adjust to being or even feeling alone after being in a relationship for so long.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard. "
I’m “alone”, apart from the fact that I have children (I’m sole carer).i don’t personally consider “being single” as being alone. Alone, but not lonely, perhaps?
But if I think about it, I’m not really alone - or lonely - anyway, as I have friends I can contact and catch up with (I try to plan/arrange regular-ish phone check-ins and catch ups with close friends during quiet times) and family that I can go and see, or just talk to.
I also catch up with fab-friends from time to time, which feeds both emotional, intellectual and physical wants.
I’ve learned to enjoy spending some time with myself (although oh it’s rare!) and try not to rely on others to find happiness. On those occasions I am going to be alone, I try to find activities to complete - walks; reading; project planning; self development stuff; catch up on a boxset - or just enjoy stillness/reflection time and do some planning for the future, in terms career; kids; finances.
What does “being alone” actually mean to you, OP?
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"I enjoy my own company. Enjoy socialising, but equally happy in my own company
That's great when you get the opportunity to socialise. I think OP is struggling with loneliness not just living alone. there is a big difference."
That is so true,i think most people enjoy being alone sometimes but being alone all the time is probably a hard cross to bear. |
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I'm a bit of a loner, being by myself isn't too much of in issue.
Don't get me wrong, lockdown one was absolutely hideous for me but that was other things in combination too.
I can go a couple of days without seeing anyone, I don't have a massive group of friends and my family aren't that local. I don't have a normal day job either so at times I don't even have colleagues to chat with.
The radio is always on, I chat to myself (probably too much), I keep myself busy. Life might not always be like this for me but until it changes I'm happy enough (mostly).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard. "
I just thought something I heard somewhere and it made me think about this question, OP.
It goes like this:
Never go shopping when you’re hungry. You’ll always grab what you want rather than what you need.
Similarly, never go into a relationship when you feel lonely - you might grab the wrong thing. When we are desperate, we grab anything we want, not what we need.
X
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
Second nature to me.
As a standard, white presenting male, I am used to being the bottom of the pile in intersectional Britain despite the fact I am not that.
I struggle massively and not a single fucking outlet will help me due to my Palestinian heritege being considered Anti-semitic. So much for equality
C
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.
No you dont.
I do, seriously theres only so many times you can sing 'james blunt back to bedlam' "
Shurrup your amazing at it though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.
No you dont.
I do, seriously theres only so many times you can sing 'james blunt back to bedlam' "
Shurrup your amazing at it though
Shut up |
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Know how u feel.i have found joining kickboxing and gym has help with the loneliness.
I try to do something other than working all the time.
Just got over cov19,and stuck indoors for me didn't help.think I was on here alot chatting,watching TV,reading,dancing,music.just to past the time.
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