FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Unapproachable profiles.....
Unapproachable profiles.....
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
No. I look at pics and veris.
Some people are dyslexic, autistic, aspergers, etc etc and see and write things differently.
If I fancy him them I'll send him a message regardless of what and how he writes, after all it's only after getting to know someone that you can truly deem them to be cunts or not  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I look at the interests and read the profile. If we have a common interest then I will probably send a message. I don't really ever feel that a profile is unapproachable, well if it says looking for women or bi men only, then I guess its unapproachable for me, but quite plainly stated.
But then I don't really expect a reply even if we do seem a good fit. If I get a reply then its a bonus, and of course even a reply doesn't mean there will be a meeting, sometimes it's just good to chat. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes I definitely find some people unapproachable even if it seems like I could be what they're looking for.
Having said that I have just messaged some and it turns out they were actually friendly so it's worth just saying screw it now and then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I think I match what they’re looking for then I would message. I understand the frustration that causes people to be a bit more aggressive or specific within the text. As I have had some problems with people not reading my profile.
However if they were being insulting towards others in the same category as myself, then I wouldn’t bother. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" it's worth just saying screw it now and then
Is that your opening message ? Or is it "Let's screw" "
 I don't think I could be that forward in a opening message unless their status says something like "fuck me now" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Umm isn't that part of the filtering process... If you don't find a profile inviting [to you], then you wouldn't reach out?
Just like mine won't appeal to all.. I don't think you can be a one size fits all? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all. "
I’ve always found your profile very approachable! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
If I come across a profile that feels aggressive or in some other way puts me off, I wouldn’t even consider if we might be what they are looking for as I would assume our personalities wouldn’t match. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I find shouty, demanding, or negative profiles off-putting and wouldn't be interested in meeting someone with that kind of profile.
I get why single ladies might feel like they need to be very direct but not couples seeking other couples.
Hopefully, ours is friendly and informative.
Nita |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Umm isn't that part of the filtering process... If you don't find a profile inviting [to you], then you wouldn't reach out?
Just like mine won't appeal to all.. I don't think you can be a one size fits all? "
I never thought twice about talking to you and you're one of the most lovely and sexy people on here  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Text is hard to read in the tone it's said. Some people might find my last paragraph off putting but I'm okay with that as some things need to be made clear on here.
Judging a person by conversation and not so much on the profile is the best way forward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
One persons 'unapproachable' is another's 'decisive'. 'specific' and 'clear'.
Some people like their profile to be descriptive rather than fluffy. What some see as a demand others will see as a personal preference or taste.
Words can be taken in many different ways depending on the reader and their perception of the intended message.
At the end of the day if a profile doesn't appeal to you then move on. There's a strong possibility that it's done the job it was intended to and the fact it's put you off was actually intentional.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One persons 'unapproachable' is another's 'decisive'. 'specific' and 'clear'.
Some people like their profile to be descriptive rather than fluffy. What some see as a demand others will see as a personal preference or taste.
Words can be taken in many different ways depending on the reader and their perception of the intended message.
At the end of the day if a profile doesn't appeal to you then move on. There's a strong possibility that it's done the job it was intended to and the fact it's put you off was actually intentional.
A"
Yup  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yep. I do, there are some I wouldn’t dream of approaching for loads of small reasons.
I hope I give an impression of friendliness, that’s important for me to find with someone online or in a profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"One persons 'unapproachable' is another's 'decisive'. 'specific' and 'clear'.
Some people like their profile to be descriptive rather than fluffy. What some see as a demand others will see as a personal preference or taste.
Words can be taken in many different ways depending on the reader and their perception of the intended message.
At the end of the day if a profile doesn't appeal to you then move on. There's a strong possibility that it's done the job it was intended to and the fact it's put you off was actually intentional.
A"
Yep this  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What I find unapproachable when looking at a couples profile is that if not all but at least 99% are all of the female half. "
There was a profile like that recently, lots of shots of an attractive woman, and the profile said basically no sex with the woman |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I love reading profiles, even if I fancy them in the pics if there’s nothing to read I won’t message them because I have nothing to start a conversation with. Mine has done its job in stopping a whole pile of junk Mail building up. You definitely reach a point of being blunt after so many of the same effortless messages being sent |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all. "
You come across as wonderful Couple up front and honest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all.
You come across as wonderful Couple up front and honest "
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yronMan
over a year ago
grangemouth |
"Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all. "
There's been one or two who complain about nobody contacting them, but then you look at the profile and their filters are set to meet practically no-one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah their are times I’ve read profiles and then been slightly put off messaging them as they come across as aggressive which is the complete opposite of us."
You do come across as very approachable to be fair. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hope mine puts people off.
The odd one still slips through though
You need to try harder mr sane. "
Ok I will.
I'm thinking about just making my profile text "fuck off" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hope mine puts people off.
The odd one still slips through though
You need to try harder mr sane.
Ok I will.
I'm thinking about just making my profile text "fuck off" "
May give the wrong impression as it adds to the mystery. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hope mine puts people off.
The odd one still slips through though
You need to try harder mr sane.
Ok I will.
I'm thinking about just making my profile text "fuck off"
May give the wrong impression as it adds to the mystery."
I can't win can I  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hope mine puts people off.
The odd one still slips through though
You need to try harder mr sane.
Ok I will.
I'm thinking about just making my profile text "fuck off"
May give the wrong impression as it adds to the mystery.
I can't win can I "
Nope |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah their are times I’ve read profiles and then been slightly put off messaging them as they come across as aggressive which is the complete opposite of us.
You do come across as very approachable to be fair."
Thanks so do you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hope mine puts people off.
The odd one still slips through though
You need to try harder mr sane.
Ok I will.
I'm thinking about just making my profile text "fuck off"
It doesn't work. "
Might for me as I'm a single male
I don't have boobs to flash at anyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all. "
You've got a lovely profile, it's very welcoming. Nice photos also  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"No. I look at pics and veris.
Some people are dyslexic, autistic, aspergers, etc etc and see and write things differently.
If I fancy him them I'll send him a message regardless of what and how he writes, after all it's only after getting to know someone that you can truly deem them to be cunts or not "
C and I will usually message (or wink first) at anyone we fancy, our biggest problem, as this lovely lady astutely says, is I often get stuck what to write at all. I'm autistic and because I can't put myself across well, often get frozen with what to put.
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Long profiles that start with a request ie a picture that then goes on for fucking ages with a shit load of things they want and need blah blah blah alright chill out, yes you are in demand, yes the ratio is in your favour but come on…
See a phone screen full of text and then I’ll instantly come out, I want quickly witty (sometimes sarcastic) humour, otherwise our paths won’t cross.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hopefully we come across as a friendly enough couple or maybe we don't, but do you find some profile's a bit hostile, unapproachable and just cant imagine messaging them even though you could be what they are looking for.
Have a great weekend all.
You've got a lovely profile, it's very welcoming. Nice photos also "
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!!  I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, a fair few profiles come across as unapproachable, usually when they start and end with a massive list of don't or go out of their way to mention their 'professional status'. Still, that's only our opinion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes, a fair few profiles come across as unapproachable, usually when they start and end with a massive list of don't or go out of their way to mention their 'professional status'. Still, that's only our opinion."
100% |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!! I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes "
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!! I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong "
Haha yeah, and yours is teensy  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One persons 'unapproachable' is another's 'decisive'. 'specific' and 'clear'.
Some people like their profile to be descriptive rather than fluffy. What some see as a demand others will see as a personal preference or taste.
Words can be taken in many different ways depending on the reader and their perception of the intended message.
At the end of the day if a profile doesn't appeal to you then move on. There's a strong possibility that it's done the job it was intended to and the fact it's put you off was actually intentional.
A"
I’d agree with this!
The OP’s profile bio is short and sweet. No unapproachability at all.
Sometimes i think fab should just do away with profile bios and give more selection filters. You can have a war and peace length bio or ‘will fill in later’ and someone will have a problem |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!! I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
Haha yeah, and yours is teensy "
Wow, your profile is as long as the Maastricht Treaty  But it's full of good vibes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!! I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
Haha yeah, and yours is teensy "
Your pics are awesome but I’d never know what you’re like because the profile is loooooooooong.
Not saying this as a slight against you so please don’t take offence!?!?!,
When you say teensy…. You’re talking about my profile right….. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Been told ours is too long but if it acts as some small degree of bullshit/dick head filter so be it.
Tbh I imagine people don’t read them half the time anyway, as we still get a dozen winks and messages each and every day off single men.
X
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!! I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
Haha yeah, and yours is teensy
Your pics are awesome but I’d never know what you’re like because the profile is loooooooooong.
Not saying this as a slight against you so please don’t take offence!?!?!,
When you say teensy…. You’re talking about my profile right….."
Yes, Im aware its long and that is off putting for some, but I have had some really nice messages from exactly the right kind of people, so it does the job!!  As someone was saying before... its a way of filtering. Some people will see my profile and decide not to message me (or will message me without reading and I will just delete them!) and that is exactly as it should be
As for what is teensy... I am definitely refering to your profile! I always read first and only look at pics if Im interested, so I cant comment on the size of any of your physical attributes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I hate shouty profiles, especially ones that tell you everything that you should be. Even when I fit all of their "requirements" it just feels like they arent seeing me as a real complex human and instead are judging me like a piece of meat at a market. Even when judged as "good enough" or indeed "perfect", I still feel like I am being judged and that doesnt work for me.
I feel like it would be much better to send a simple "not for me" reply message rather than making loads of people feel like they arent good enough because of silly physical stuff like height, weight, ethnicity or penis length. It just feels mean.
I also find it funny when people tell you in their profile what kind of message to send... Shh!! Please dont tell them how to come across as reasonable human beings!! I want people to send a message however they want so that I can filter out all the people who think its a good idea to send one-liners or abuse!
My profile is Looooooong, but I hope it gives good vibes
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
Haha yeah, and yours is teensy
Your pics are awesome but I’d never know what you’re like because the profile is loooooooooong.
Not saying this as a slight against you so please don’t take offence!?!?!,
When you say teensy…. You’re talking about my profile right…..
Yes, Im aware its long and that is off putting for some, but I have had some really nice messages from exactly the right kind of people, so it does the job!! As someone was saying before... its a way of filtering. Some people will see my profile and decide not to message me (or will message me without reading and I will just delete them!) and that is exactly as it should be
As for what is teensy... I am definitely refering to your profile! I always read first and only look at pics if Im interested, so I cant comment on the size of any of your physical attributes "
I remember reading yours a couple of weeks ago and thinking it was a good one. Nothing wrong with a long profile, it's the overly-aggressive ones I don't like! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The ones that start with a rant about "timewasters" and then actually 'out' a few of them really shoot themselves in the foot!
Why?
• Because it's too uptight (ie is that relaxing the vibe they want to get people in the mood?)
• Because it's often too subjective to punish in this way.
• Because it might make people wonder what could happen to them if they want to bail out themselves at some point!
Also, it's actually against Fab's rules.
(ps I don't mind the listers on Fab lol - ie the listers who aren't listing 'timewasters' that is) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No. I look at pics and veris.
Some people are dyslexic, autistic, aspergers, etc etc and see and write things differently.
If I fancy him them I'll send him a message regardless of what and how he writes, after all it's only after getting to know someone that you can truly deem them to be cunts or not "
also its propaganda i could be an angel or a chump what bullshit i type wont change that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I saw one the other day that said something about one of the couple being an ex model so they can be picky!!
Not sure if that was an airfix model or what but I popped a quick block on them.
Way too up they're own arses for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I saw one the other day that said something about one of the couple being an ex model so they can be picky!!
Not sure if that was an airfix model or what but I popped a quick block on them.
Way too up they're own arses for me. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No. I look at pics and veris.
Some people are dyslexic, autistic, aspergers, etc etc and see and write things differently.
If I fancy him them I'll send him a message regardless of what and how he writes, after all it's only after getting to know someone that you can truly deem them to be cunts or not "
Absolutely this! ^
Body language accounts for a majority of human interaction but is obviously absent from the written word, so what we read can often be misleading.
I would like to think our profile has the right balance of written information with pics showing us as we really are visually.
Having said that, constructive comments are always welcome as are messages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No. I look at pics and veris.
Some people are dyslexic, autistic, aspergers, etc etc and see and write things differently.
If I fancy him them I'll send him a message regardless of what and how he writes, after all it's only after getting to know someone that you can truly deem them to be cunts or not
Absolutely this! ^
Body language accounts for a majority of human interaction but is obviously absent from the written word, so what we read can often be misleading.
I would like to think our profile has the right balance of written information with pics showing us as we really are visually.
Having said that, constructive comments are always welcome as are messages. "
Your profile is excellent |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Aggressive bios would put me off chatting or those that obviously don't have a sense of humour.
I don't send messages so it doesn't really affect me if someone appears to be unapproachable.
Every conversation I've had here since the beginning of 2020 has been initiated by others and many of those women have said they rarely if ever make first contact but my profile and forum engagement put them at ease and made me more approachable.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
