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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a proper reason for saying you don't want to have some fun or be in a relationship with someone or is it just a polite way of saying no? "
It's both a polite way and a proper reason. They just don't see you in that way, so only friends, not sex friends  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have had it said to me more in kink than swing and the kink would not involve sex.
While I understand it mostly, for me there has to be a level of friendship for kink, even a one off scene to work and I would have hoped that the friendship would be strong enough to last if the kink scene did not work out. |
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"I have had it said to me more in kink than swing and the kink would not involve sex.
"
I would be the same. My kink doesn't involve sex, the act of a scene is enough pleasure to satisfy me, and I wouldn't enjoy it if we didn't have a attachment friendship first |
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"I have had it said to me more in kink than swing and the kink would not involve sex.
While I understand it mostly, for me there has to be a level of friendship for kink, even a one off scene to work and I would have hoped that the friendship would be strong enough to last if the kink scene did not work out. "
Friends don't have to do stuff just because they're your friend. |
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"I have had it said to me more in kink than swing and the kink would not involve sex.
While I understand it mostly, for me there has to be a level of friendship for kink, even a one off scene to work and I would have hoped that the friendship would be strong enough to last if the kink scene did not work out. "
You don't need to understand why, this is someone else's decision. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have had it said to me more in kink than swing and the kink would not involve sex.
While I understand it mostly, for me there has to be a level of friendship for kink, even a one off scene to work and I would have hoped that the friendship would be strong enough to last if the kink scene did not work out.
Friends don't have to do stuff just because they're your friend. "
I never said they did. What I was saying was that being friends would be a reason I would be comfortable with asking them to try something. It's their choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s the back up zone op
Its a polite way off saying
I like you but your not my first second or 3 or 4 choices
But if all else fails I can fall back on it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"o/p what makes you think you have been friendzoned? Some things do take time. Sorry no time though to read the full thread!"
Being told we are good friends and they worry trying some fun would ruin the friendship |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I have had it said to me more in kink than swing and the kink would not involve sex.
While I understand it mostly, for me there has to be a level of friendship for kink, even a one off scene to work and I would have hoped that the friendship would be strong enough to last if the kink scene did not work out. "
Fuck sake hit delete 
For me there are two basis for any scene:
Its who you are doing it with not what you are doing thats important.
Its what you are doing not who you are doing it with thats important.
It may be your friends are more into the who than the what when they scene? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"o/p what makes you think you have been friendzoned? Some things do take time. Sorry no time though to read the full thread!
Being told we are good friends and they worry trying some fun would ruin the friendship "
Then that's all you need to know.
If someone doesn't want to get intimate because they think it will adversely affect an existing friendship then why would you want to put it at risk.
Some things are more important than getting jiggy or naked with someone. Friendship is definitely one of them.
A |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
In terms of kink, I think there are a number of things to be considered.
What was the basis of entering into the kink relationship? Was it sexual or was it on a service basis? The latter rarely morphs into the former, but the former regularly changes into the latter.
Has one of you changed the basis of the relationship, or are they reaffirming the basis of the relationship?
Personally, I don't need to be friends with a person to do a kink scene with them. I have done stuff at clubs with people I barely met. I tie people at peer rope that I have met there. There just needs to be the right energy. The same with longer term play. Only in a distinct D/S relationship would friendships be needed. I think people fail to distinguish between safety, being precious, and having a preference.
Friendship is about doing things with people and being connected. Not being parked out of harms way.
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Or am I doing it wrong? 
