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Older woman / Younger man

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I watched the trailer for ‘Good luck to you, Leo Grande’ and I suppose I’ve never really seen many or any older women/ younger man dynamics portrayed in film particularly not quite big age gaps.

The film looks good, looks funny. But I wonder why we don’t see so many older woman/ younger men dynamics on screen or as much in real life? What are your thoughts on why it just doesn’t seem as common as older men/ younger women.

(Please avoid the men mature later stuff because don’t think that applies to 10-20+ year age gaps. )

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He is utterly beautiful too

That helps

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"He is utterly beautiful too

That helps "

He is. I wish I looked like that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've always liked "White Palace" - Susan Sarandon and James Spader which showed this dynamic. And damn sexy it was.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He is utterly beautiful too

That helps

He is. I wish I looked like that "

Hush cutey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Who wants to go to the cinema on 17 June?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think older woman don't tend to be as lauded as older men on screen. Historically women are only attractive in Hollywood until they turn 40. But it is a common fantasy of many men to be with someone older, so it is a little strange.

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By *prilSubTV/TS  over a year ago

Nottingham

Society doesn't want to show older women as the object of desire because it profits so much on making women feel unattractive whilst also positioning youth, vulnerability, dependency and other traits as being definition of sexy because men have made a system where men can be viewed as hot until they die and should therefore naturally be with very young girls because women stop being hot when they hit thirty.

It's all gross.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I see a very nice young man who is 30 yrs younger than me .we enjoy meeting I never really think about age ...but I think its seen as a bit taboo ...im going to see the movie looks fun ny .....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Agree with points made. I think what’s interesting to me is that younger men seem generally interested in older women and younger women generally interested in older men. But only older men seem to reciprocate this. And I wonder why older women don’t seem that into younger men (I know some are). Even in terms of shame and judgement, I actually wonder if that mostly comes from other older women more than anyone else?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hmm well there's many dynamics at play here. The maturity gap between men and women is one of the huge ones.

Popular mind set of who or what an older woman should be with as opposed to polar opposite drives for men is another.

The majority of people stay in the "safe" zone and really the ones that truly follow their hearts are somewhat more rare.

It's just a modern thang - well not do modern actually

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

not too many younger men are happy to proceed at my pace.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think at least some of it is older women feeling judged by society's overarching view of them as past it and refusing to acknowledge that sexually women reach their prime a lot older than men. It is screwed up.

I do see someone who is considerably younger than me and I do feel some discomfort about it. I don't think I would call it shame. But I still see him, enjoy his company and snog him in public!

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'd agree with the ladies above, it's like we get left on the shelf after 40.

I'm fully embracing the younger guys now though (literally in some cases) I think we can learn alot from each other, I like that they ask questions about women and talk about the differences. Hopefully they will learn something and appreciate us more

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By *ellinever70Woman  over a year ago

Ayrshire

Maybe they just gel better with men around their own age

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By *iromancergirl1Woman  over a year ago

bolton

My attraction is mostly to guys in there 20”s and 30’s maturity is key though but iv had some great meets with younger guys

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Maybe they just gel better with men around their own age "

maybe

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Sorry- I’ve been a bit distracted tonight so haven’t replied to these. I think I agree with the point about how society views women after a certain age and also about how we view some of these relationships.

Funny enough with my older partners I feel more judged in public by other older women than anyone else but I’m sure there’s lots of other factors to consider in some of those cases like race.

Also I think something these comments have made me consider is whether women have (generally) internalised the idea about desirability? And if so does that affect how they perceive and accept/ don’t accept interest from younger men?

With younger men and older women I’ve heard older women say (to me) and seen it portrayed in media/ film the whole ‘why are you interested in me?’ ‘Shouldn’t you be hanging around all the fit girls your age’ (first of all, lol ) or even ‘you don’t seriously like me do you?’

Those comments have to be internalised views about women’s desirability to an extent? Not to downplay individual self esteem issues that might also exist on top. Idk it’s complex. I have in the past done some reading about the desirability of older men and older women and how it changes. ‘Older women get old and older men get hot’. It’s always nice to hear people’s opinions on here though. Feels more real (even though it’s no more real or fake) than whatever research you’re reading sometimes or article you see online. So thank you all

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Film looks good though. I’m gonna see it. Looks like it’ll be cute but I hope it’s not in that cheesy ‘he makes her feel young again’ kind of way and it’s more that they actually have things in common and get along. You know?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe they just gel better with men around their own age "

I don't. I gel with younger men with a few exceptions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Maybe they just gel better with men around their own age

I don't. I gel with younger men with a few exceptions."

You’re up SO late

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By *urga2076Woman  over a year ago

London


"Who wants to go to the cinema on 17 June? "

Me (female here. Just hiding from barrage of dick photos till bank holiday weekend is over)

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By *itty Kat ABWoman  over a year ago

North Somerset

I have to confess, I attract men in their 20s (especially at clubs and on a girls night out) which can be fun. However, if truth be told, I'd be more excited it they were accompanied by their fathers! I know big eye rolls....sorry!!!

Kx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’ll borrow a friend’s son, have him chat you up, and then come over x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Who wants to go to the cinema on 17 June? "

Is that when it’s out?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have to confess, I attract men in their 20s (especially at clubs and on a girls night out) which can be fun. However, if truth be told, I'd be more excited it they were accompanied by their fathers! I know big eye rolls....sorry!!!

Kx "

You still

Go clubbing wow

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

What about Harold and Maude?

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By *ickedwillyCouple  over a year ago

Bangor

My wife is flattered when a younger man fancies her.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

Younger men intimidate me. I don’t even know why.

But anyway, why would a younger fella want an old, washed up, jaded, older woman like me when there are so many hot younger ladies about is my take on it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Many years ago in a galaxy far far away.

I was fortunate enough when I was 18, to have an older woman that was attracted to me.

Unfortunately for us both it was frowned upon by both families and are friends.

It didn't last but I wish it had (

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Good morning all.

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

We can blah blah blah about the patriarchal society and etc etc but the simple fact is , and this can be borne out by Sydney university and profiles on here, is the majority of women like men older than themselves.

Many men seem to like women younger than themselves too. It's probably lizard brain and procreation.

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By *eavenscentitCouple  over a year ago

barnstaple

I prefer younger men, sad to say but, some men my age or above have attitudes that belong in the 1970's or 80's.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What about Harold and Maude?"

Is it a love story? I’ve never seen it? And I of course know this dynamic does exist on screen. Just don’t think it’s all that often.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I prefer younger men, sad to say but, some men my age or above have attitudes that belong in the 1970's or 80's. "

Can you explain more

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Many years ago in a galaxy far far away.

I was fortunate enough when I was 18, to have an older woman that was attracted to me.

Unfortunately for us both it was frowned upon by both families and are friends.

It didn't last but I wish it had ( "

That’s sad my first experience and many more have been with older ladies

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By *hubbycheckerMan  over a year ago

Porstmouth

Always had a thing for older ladies, Joanna Lumley wow she is amazing safe to say at 76 I still would love too haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Younger men intimidate me. I don’t even know why.

But anyway, why would a younger fella want an old, washed up, jaded, older woman like me when there are so many hot younger ladies about is my take on it.

"

I guess there’s lots of reasons they might. I’m sorry that they do though.

Also lots of older women say this. Don’t think age has all that much to do with beauty, people want who they want, lots of younger men and women prefer older partners for stimulation including but also beyond just the physical etc etc. there’s lots of reasons. We can’t spend so much time worrying about *why* people like us because we miss out on the great ones.

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By *arlo82Couple  over a year ago

the gym and random places

See plenty of them esp on fab and men with milf fantasies

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

So is it about sex or do younger guys like older women for their personalities and othe characteristics too?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So is it about sex or do younger guys like older women for their personalities and othe characteristics too?"

All of the above

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham

In real life? Because older women know how to keep their shit private

2 of my current fwb are in their 50s

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I prefer younger men, sad to say but, some men my age or above have attitudes that belong in the 1970's or 80's. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So is it about sex or do younger guys like older women for their personalities and othe characteristics too?"

I think younger men like older women for lots of different genuine reasons. Sex is of course a huge part I would imagine in terms of attraction but I think from talking to other men and reading perspectives on here that it is also personality and other things. I think I’ve read a lot about it being confidence which is interesting because so many older women are *not* confident around younger men (at least not enough to believe that we might be interested for any genuine reason).

I’ve waffled but I think people like older partners for the same reason they like any partner? Idk that’s why I’m asking I guess.

I like older women and have older and much older partners but I don’t think it’s all that common or socially accepted which is interesting to me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So is it about sex or do younger guys like older women for their personalities and othe characteristics too?"

I have been intimate with a few woman double my age, but age was never the reason we ended up in bed it was just attraction. These women knew exactly what they wanted and how to do it, something those of my age sometimes lack.

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By *eavenscentitCouple  over a year ago

barnstaple


"I prefer younger men, sad to say but, some men my age or above have attitudes that belong in the 1970's or 80's.

Can you explain more"

I don't appreciate misogyny. I have many male friends in their 50 and 60's who come out with homophobic comments, comments about women especially those that knock them back and essentially appear to believe they are superior.

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By *ellinever70Woman  over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'm not sure that it's to do with social acceptance

It just seems far more logical to me that, as we go through life's stages we're perhaps generally more likely to mix with people of a similar age/stage and so we'll share similar points of cultural reference

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I prefer younger men, sad to say but, some men my age or above have attitudes that belong in the 1970's or 80's.

Can you explain more

I don't appreciate misogyny. I have many male friends in their 50 and 60's who come out with homophobic comments, comments about women especially those that knock them back and essentially appear to believe they are superior.

Maybe you need to distance yourself from those guys a little "

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"So is it about sex or do younger guys like older women for their personalities and othe characteristics too?

I think younger men like older women for lots of different genuine reasons. Sex is of course a huge part I would imagine in terms of attraction but I think from talking to other men and reading perspectives on here that it is also personality and other things. I think I’ve read a lot about it being confidence which is interesting because so many older women are *not* confident around younger men (at least not enough to believe that we might be interested for any genuine reason).

I’ve waffled but I think people like older partners for the same reason they like any partner? Idk that’s why I’m asking I guess.

I like older women and have older and much older partners but I don’t think it’s all that common or socially accepted which is interesting to me. "

It isn't common or socially acceptable I agree. I think that's because at its most base society still wants sex to be about procreation, it really is that simple. Older women cannot make babies and it's a waste of a young man.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Younger men intimidate me. I don’t even know why.

But anyway, why would a younger fella want an old, washed up, jaded, older woman like me when there are so many hot younger ladies about is my take on it.

"

But why wouldn't they?! This is the problem with how we've been brainwashed to think about ourselves.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"So is it about sex or do younger guys like older women for their personalities and othe characteristics too?

I have been intimate with a few woman double my age, but age was never the reason we ended up in bed it was just attraction. These women knew exactly what they wanted and how to do it, something those of my age sometimes lack. "

Those particular women. From the limited evidence I see on fab it seems to me that age has no bearing on women knowing what they want and how to do it. I do think many older women have more confidence than younger though

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In real life? Because older women know how to keep their shit private

2 of my current fwb are in their 50s"

Yes in real life. I’m talking about relationships as much as I am casual sex situations. I personally don’t see as many actual older woman/ younger man relationships in society or presented in media. I know it exists like Lisa Bonnet and her husband. But it’s just not all that common and I wonder why.

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By *arlo82Couple  over a year ago

the gym and random places


"In real life? Because older women know how to keep their shit private

2 of my current fwb are in their 50s"

I have to agree with you

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By *iberius61Man  over a year ago

Pontefract


"...I wonder why we don’t see so many older woman/ younger men dynamics on screen ps"

Tbh I thought it was fairly common, I mean The Graduate was released in 1967. Dustin Hoffman and Mrs Robinson?

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales


"In real life? Because older women know how to keep their shit private

2 of my current fwb are in their 50s

Yes in real life. I’m talking about relationships as much as I am casual sex situations. I personally don’t see as many actual older woman/ younger man relationships in society or presented in media. I know it exists like Lisa Bonnet and her husband. But it’s just not all that common and I wonder why. "

I always think of Barbara Windsor and her husband where there was a 26 year (I think) age gap when I think of an older woman/younger guy scenario.

He was absolutely devoted to her too which always gives me the feels

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I prefer younger men I just don’t find many men my age or above attractive.

However society does seem to judge older women with young guys more. Nobody bats an eyelid at a 50yr old guy with a 25yr old woman but in reverse women are seen as cougars/milfs and lots can’t understand why a young guy would choose to be with an older woman when they could have a young fit hotty.

But also life stages & biology play a role in this. A 50yr old guy could marry a 25yr old and still have a family (usually a 2nd one) and this narrative suits society. If I was to get together with a 25yr old I wouldn’t be able to (or want) to have a family with him. I would feel guilty for taking away his chance to have this and others would judge this as well.

So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place as I like younger but recognise I’m unlikely to have a long term future with someone younger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not sure that it's to do with social acceptance

It just seems far more logical to me that, as we go through life's stages we're perhaps generally more likely to mix with people of a similar age/stage and so we'll share similar points of cultural reference "

This is an interesting perspective. Because I feel like a lot of younger women and older men actively seek one another out for romantic relationships (not just sex). I get what you mean and to an extent agree. I mean I’m only 25 and I don’t really think I could date someone under 21/22. I also find this as an issue with older women I date tbf. Anyway I appreciate this perspective but I think it may apply to older women but perhaps not as much to older men given older men/ younger women relationships are more common than the OW/YM.

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham


"In real life? Because older women know how to keep their shit private

2 of my current fwb are in their 50s

Yes in real life. I’m talking about relationships as much as I am casual sex situations. I personally don’t see as many actual older woman/ younger man relationships in society or presented in media. I know it exists like Lisa Bonnet and her husband. But it’s just not all that common and I wonder why. "

That’s because as a species men find younger women more attractive and women find older guys more attractive - generally

A big driver for attraction for guys is youth. Fertility. All things we are wired to like because that’s what makes good babies

For women it’s things men get as they get older. Confidence, knowing themselves, successful socially/financially/career. Mature. All things that point to a gut that can be the best provider and protector of her baby.

I’ve seen studies on this and typically men will find women most attractive in their early 20. For women it tends to be 5-10 years old than they are.

Speaking generally of course. There’s always exceptions. But it all comes down to that lizard brain saying “what’s gonna help me pass my genes on best”

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"...I wonder why we don’t see so many older woman/ younger men dynamics on screen ps

Tbh I thought it was fairly common, I mean The Graduate was released in 1967. Dustin Hoffman and Mrs Robinson?"

How common? Even as side plots. As in there’s casually just an older woman dating a younger man in a show or film without it being a major plot?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I prefer younger men I just don’t find many men my age or above attractive.

However society does seem to judge older women with young guys more. Nobody bats an eyelid at a 50yr old guy with a 25yr old woman but in reverse women are seen as cougars/milfs and lots can’t understand why a young guy would choose to be with an older woman when they could have a young fit hotty.

But also life stages & biology play a role in this. A 50yr old guy could marry a 25yr old and still have a family (usually a 2nd one) and this narrative suits society. If I was to get together with a 25yr old I wouldn’t be able to (or want) to have a family with him. I would feel guilty for taking away his chance to have this and others would judge this as well.

So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place as I like younger but recognise I’m unlikely to have a long term future with someone younger."

to be honest, the only judgement is "daym you lucky guy"

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

For me it’s two things really. I just don’t feel I have much in common with them, it’s ok if it’s just sex I suppose but I never want just sex.

Secondly, not sure if it makes you feel different when you have older children but it definitely doesn’t sit right with me personally meeting someone of my childrens’ age. I think 35 would be my limit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Biology is a good explanation I guess. The only thing I would say is ‘success’ in terms of whatever that is defined as surely cannot be something we are biologically attracted to as it’s mostly a capitalist modern concept? Especially in the context of it being more common amongst older men than younger men? Idk this is all really interesting to me. Always enjoy hearing thoughts and reasoning of others.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Biology is a good explanation I guess. The only thing I would say is ‘success’ in terms of whatever that is defined as surely cannot be something we are biologically attracted to as it’s mostly a capitalist modern concept? Especially in the context of it being more common amongst older men than younger men? Idk this is all really interesting to me. Always enjoy hearing thoughts and reasoning of others. "

In evolution though women were seeking out the Hunter gatherers as they were the ones who could protect & provide.. they were the good bets to ensure survival of offspring etc.. so that’s a measure of success it’s just adapted over time to be someone that can provide financially.

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By *iberius61Man  over a year ago

Pontefract


"...How common? Even as side plots. As in there’s casually just an older woman dating a younger man in a show or film without it being a major plot? "

Not done any real research, but I'd say it was about as common as in real life. I.e. it exists, but not overly common. Perhaps there's a tendency/exaggeration for film to show the older woman as slightly predatory, but I guess the cougar milf is a bit of a trope. I never watched it, but the show Desparate Housewives always seemed to hint at this sort of thing.

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham


"Biology is a good explanation I guess. The only thing I would say is ‘success’ in terms of whatever that is defined as surely cannot be something we are biologically attracted to as it’s mostly a capitalist modern concept? Especially in the context of it being more common amongst older men than younger men? Idk this is all really interesting to me. Always enjoy hearing thoughts and reasoning of others. "

Success just means a better means to survive and thrive. Both for her and the kids.

So whatever woke “success is just a made up capitalist concept duuuuuude” spin you wanna put on it. Most people don’t wanna raise a family in a cardboard box.

A million years ago success meant the head of the tribe, with the best access to shelter, food, water and protection. That hasn’t changed much these days.

Plus, it’s not just the resources themselves, it what they say about a man. Is he hard working, responsible, smart? Or has he been slacking? It has he just not got what it takes to be successful.

It’s not a nice concept to think of morally. That we reduce people into “yes” and “no” based on stuff like this. But sadly our genes don’t care about morals. They care about not going extinct

Reading Richard Dawkins book “the selfish gene” if this line of thinking interests you. Mother Nature is a cruel mistress

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By *iberius61Man  over a year ago

Pontefract


"...but I guess the cougar milf is a bit of a trope."

I guess I should add that my 'first' (back in the 1970s) was a married friend of my parents. Her husband had gone off with a younger woman, so I guess she wanted some reassurance that she was still attractive. I think we both benefitted from the encounter and no animals were harmed in the production. So perhaps the scenario seems quite normal to me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"For me it’s two things really. I just don’t feel I have much in common with them, it’s ok if it’s just sex I suppose but I never want just sex.

Secondly, not sure if it makes you feel different when you have older children but it definitely doesn’t sit right with me personally meeting someone of my childrens’ age. I think 35 would be my limit. "

Both fair. Both I think also more common thought processes amongst women and I wonder why that is?

I mean older men have dated women younger than their kids or the same age all the time. And publicly as well (by that I mean we see it in society a lot more). That’s where my wonder is. Why is it ok amongst older men and not women. Biology is a fair reason although not all these men are particularly interested in having a family with these women i don’t think. Idk. Interesting.

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By *ellinever70Woman  over a year ago

Ayrshire


"...How common? Even as side plots. As in there’s casually just an older woman dating a younger man in a show or film without it being a major plot?

Not done any real research, but I'd say it was about as common as in real life. I.e. it exists, but not overly common. Perhaps there's a tendency/exaggeration for film to show the older woman as slightly predatory, but I guess the cougar milf is a bit of a trope. I never watched it, but the show Desparate Housewives always seemed to hint at this sort of thing."

I thought the trope is to depict the older woman as just needing a hot young stud to validate her as a sexual being

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Biology is a good explanation I guess. The only thing I would say is ‘success’ in terms of whatever that is defined as surely cannot be something we are biologically attracted to as it’s mostly a capitalist modern concept? Especially in the context of it being more common amongst older men than younger men? Idk this is all really interesting to me. Always enjoy hearing thoughts and reasoning of others.

In evolution though women were seeking out the Hunter gatherers as they were the ones who could protect & provide.. they were the good bets to ensure survival of offspring etc.. so that’s a measure of success it’s just adapted over time to be someone that can provide financially."

Do you think older men (in the contexts of age gaps we’re talking about here) were better in that time?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Biology is a good explanation I guess. The only thing I would say is ‘success’ in terms of whatever that is defined as surely cannot be something we are biologically attracted to as it’s mostly a capitalist modern concept? Especially in the context of it being more common amongst older men than younger men? Idk this is all really interesting to me. Always enjoy hearing thoughts and reasoning of others.

Success just means a better means to survive and thrive. Both for her and the kids.

So whatever woke “success is just a made up capitalist concept duuuuuude” spin you wanna put on it. Most people don’t wanna raise a family in a cardboard box.

A million years ago success meant the head of the tribe, with the best access to shelter, food, water and protection. That hasn’t changed much these days.

Plus, it’s not just the resources themselves, it what they say about a man. Is he hard working, responsible, smart? Or has he been slacking? It has he just not got what it takes to be successful.

It’s not a nice concept to think of morally. That we reduce people into “yes” and “no” based on stuff like this. But sadly our genes don’t care about morals. They care about not going extinct

Reading Richard Dawkins book “the selfish gene” if this line of thinking interests you. Mother Nature is a cruel mistress "

Fair. Anti capitalism is not a woke concept but your points are fair. Thanks for that

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks all. Stay woke.

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By *tinerant scribeMan  over a year ago

County Durham


"I watched the trailer for ‘Good luck to you, Leo Grande’ and I suppose I’ve never really seen many or any older women/ younger man dynamics portrayed in film particularly not quite big age gaps.

The film looks good, looks funny. But I wonder why we don’t see so many older woman/ younger men dynamics on screen or as much in real life? What are your thoughts on why it just doesn’t seem as common as older men/ younger women.

(Please avoid the men mature later stuff because don’t think that applies to 10-20+ year age gaps. )"

In *Harold and Maude* the age gap is about 50 years.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Biology is a good explanation I guess. The only thing I would say is ‘success’ in terms of whatever that is defined as surely cannot be something we are biologically attracted to as it’s mostly a capitalist modern concept? Especially in the context of it being more common amongst older men than younger men? Idk this is all really interesting to me. Always enjoy hearing thoughts and reasoning of others.

In evolution though women were seeking out the Hunter gatherers as they were the ones who could protect & provide.. they were the good bets to ensure survival of offspring etc.. so that’s a measure of success it’s just adapted over time to be someone that can provide financially.

Do you think older men (in the contexts of age gaps we’re talking about here) were better in that time? "

It’s not about being better.. it’s just the way evolutionary biology works. How many offspring you can produce (as a man) is a sign of masculinity. Sowing your seeds & creating your tribe etc..

Women were the ones who provided the means to grow & nurture that offspring but become redundant once biology dictates they can no longer do that. But the sexual revolution & invention of the pill has changed that narrative somewhat giving women more control & choice.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I was 19 I had a fling with a 44 year old divorcee. It was an amazing experience and taught me a hell of a lot sexuality. We had a lot of fun over the 18 months we spent together and I certainly matured as a person

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By *iberius61Man  over a year ago

Pontefract


"...I thought the trope is to depict the older woman as just needing a hot young stud to validate her as a sexual being "

I thought it was more a sexually active woman wanting satisfaction that she's not getting from her husband...but I guess tropes are never fully 'truths' just always highlighting half the story

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When I was 19 I had a fling with a 44 year old divorcee. It was an amazing experience and taught me a hell of a lot sexuality. We had a lot of fun over the 18 months we spent together and I certainly matured as a person "

Totally agree as a guy that since my teens have admired and dated older women

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"What about Harold and Maude?

Is it a love story? I’ve never seen it? And I of course know this dynamic does exist on screen. Just don’t think it’s all that often. "

It's a rather extreme age gap but such a sweet film.

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By *ammo89Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

I like older women for the same reasons some younger women prefer older men - more self-confidence, more experience (in general, not just sexually), more sure of themselves and assertive. Who doesn't love a woman who takes what she wants?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Does anyone remember the movie 'Tim' with Mel Gibson and Piper Laurie? She's twice he age and he has learning difficulties. Would that dynamic be acceptable now, would it be acceptable between an older man and younger woman?

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

There's nearly a 10 year age gap between me and M. And for us at least, it's not because I'm older and wiser or more confident and any other cliché going. We were mates before we got together we just rub along well with each other. We're compatible and that I don't think has an age barrier.

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"Does anyone remember the movie 'Tim' with Mel Gibson and Piper Laurie? She's twice he age and he has learning difficulties. Would that dynamic be acceptable now, would it be acceptable between an older man and younger woman?"

What the heck! Not seen or heard of this film, but the premise seems a bit odd.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Does anyone remember the movie 'Tim' with Mel Gibson and Piper Laurie? She's twice he age and he has learning difficulties. Would that dynamic be acceptable now, would it be acceptable between an older man and younger woman?

What the heck! Not seen or heard of this film, but the premise seems a bit odd. "

It was 1979 I think. Different times and all. I only have a vague recollection of it though

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

Stevie Pickle we do not need any more of these threads

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"Does anyone remember the movie 'Tim' with Mel Gibson and Piper Laurie? She's twice he age and he has learning difficulties. Would that dynamic be acceptable now, would it be acceptable between an older man and younger woman?"

Depends on what 'learning difficulties' means.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Stevie Pickle we do not need any more of these threads "

Understood ma’am

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"Stevie Pickle we do not need any more of these threads

Understood ma’am "

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Does anyone remember the movie 'Tim' with Mel Gibson and Piper Laurie? She's twice he age and he has learning difficulties. Would that dynamic be acceptable now, would it be acceptable between an older man and younger woman?

Depends on what 'learning difficulties' means."

I think you'd need to see the film. From what I remember of it there was a lot of opposition from some family members etc but love won in the end

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By *vasexperimentWoman  over a year ago

huddersfield


"Sorry- I’ve been a bit distracted tonight so haven’t replied to these. I think I agree with the point about how society views women after a certain age and also about how we view some of these relationships.

Funny enough with my older partners I feel more judged in public by other older women than anyone else but I’m sure there’s lots of other factors to consider in some of those cases like race.

Also I think something these comments have made me consider is whether women have (generally) internalised the idea about desirability? And if so does that affect how they perceive and accept/ don’t accept interest from younger men?

With younger men and older women I’ve heard older women say (to me) and seen it portrayed in media/ film the whole ‘why are you interested in me?’ ‘Shouldn’t you be hanging around all the fit girls your age’ (first of all, lol ) or even ‘you don’t seriously like me do you?’

Those comments have to be internalised views about women’s desirability to an extent? Not to downplay individual self esteem issues that might also exist on top. Idk it’s complex. I have in the past done some reading about the desirability of older men and older women and how it changes. ‘Older women get old and older men get hot’. It’s always nice to hear people’s opinions on here though. Feels more real (even though it’s no more real or fake) than whatever research you’re reading sometimes or article you see online. So thank you all "

I like younger men and I do get chatted up on occasion by some tbh but yes I do sometimes feel wtf I’m your moms age … even though I may really fancy them

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