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What does it take
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"To mend a shattered heart?
Asking for a friend...
Time.
And a good dicking.
A
Fucks sake 
All good suggestions!"
For once (I know - fucking rare!) I was being deadly serious.
All things that result in emotional turmoil require time to adjust, assess and re-evaluate.
In the meantime a good shag every now and then acts as a distraction, a mood lightener, an opportunity to forget about whatever has caused the emotional distress....and releases those healthy endorphins and neurochemicals that naturally make you happy.
Post break up fucks should be available on the NHS.
I guarantee there'd be no end of people ticking that box on an organ donor card.
Fnar fnar.
A
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To mend a shattered heart?
Asking for a friend...
Time.
And a good dicking.
A
Fucks sake
All good suggestions!
For once (I know - fucking rare!) I was being deadly serious.
All things that result in emotional turmoil require time to adjust, assess and re-evaluate.
In the meantime a good shag every now and then acts as a distraction, a mood lightener, an opportunity to forget about whatever has caused the emotional distress....and releases those healthy endorphins and neurochemicals that naturally make you happy.
Post break up fucks should be available on the NHS.
I guarantee there'd be no end of people ticking that box on an organ donor card.
Fnar fnar.
A
"
I'm convinced! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To mend a shattered heart?
Asking for a friend...
5yrs. My friend told me to tell you.
Seems an awful long time. "
Catch me at a better time and I would say something profound. But time doesn’t mend it. You just get used to it being broken. You carry it better type of thing.
Not broken, just different to how it was.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To mend a shattered heart?
Asking for a friend...
5yrs. My friend told me to tell you.
Seems an awful long time.
Catch me at a better time and I would say something profound. But time doesn’t mend it. You just get used to it being broken. You carry it better type of thing.
Not broken, just different to how it was.
"
I get that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To mend a shattered heart?
Asking for a friend...
5yrs. My friend told me to tell you.
Seems an awful long time.
Catch me at a better time and I would say something profound. But time doesn’t mend it. You just get used to it being broken. You carry it better type of thing.
Not broken, just different to how it was.
"
I’m so sorry to hear this 
I was heartbroken when my ex cheated on me, but I can safely now say time healed mine. I can’t think of anything worse than thinking about him now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say you have to give yourself permission to be hurt, upset, angry, sad - whatever you need to feel. Grieve the loss. Don't pretend it's all ok but that's just a cover.
And I agree with getting intimate with someone else. When you feel you can. It does help. |
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Time and reflection. Given time you often begin to realise the reasons it didn't work. At the very least we deserve someone who loves and wants us. For whatever reason, they weren't the one for you. It takes time to come to terms with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make a list of all the wankerish things they did and read it often.
Unfortunately there is only the one! "
Nah there's got to be more than one annoying thing they did/said/wore/liked... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me. |
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"And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.". -Al Green |
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me."
Good for you love you for you if he dose not like it find some one that dose. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me."
So I'm in it for a couple of years at least it seems.
Yay. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
Good for you love you for you if he dose not like it find some one that dose. "
Awkward |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
Good for you love you for you if he dose not like it find some one that dose.
Awkward"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
So I'm in it for a couple of years at least it seems.
Yay. "
Or start being more outgoing a lot quicker than I did. I started doing things that I enjoyed and all of a sudden I started thinking about her less and then one day I just didn’t care anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
So I'm in it for a couple of years at least it seems.
Yay.
Or start being more outgoing a lot quicker than I did. I started doing things that I enjoyed and all of a sudden I started thinking about her less and then one day I just didn’t care anymore. "
Me? Outgoing?
Yeah it's gonna take years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
So I'm in it for a couple of years at least it seems.
Yay.
Or start being more outgoing a lot quicker than I did. I started doing things that I enjoyed and all of a sudden I started thinking about her less and then one day I just didn’t care anymore.
Me? Outgoing?
Yeah it's gonna take years. "
You climbed a wall the other day. Baby steps |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
So I'm in it for a couple of years at least it seems.
Yay.
Or start being more outgoing a lot quicker than I did. I started doing things that I enjoyed and all of a sudden I started thinking about her less and then one day I just didn’t care anymore.
Me? Outgoing?
Yeah it's gonna take years.
You climbed a wall the other day. Baby steps "
I did!!!
I'd forgot about that. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Time.
Doing things for you.
Building a life that doesn’t include them.
Take back the things that remind you of them, by that I mean songs, places, etc.
Don’t underestimate the power of a good time with friends.
The good sex thing is a plus too.
The most important being time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took me about 3 years. Going out with friends and realising that I’m actually a laugh to be around instead of the miserable bastard I was at home did it for me.
So I'm in it for a couple of years at least it seems.
Yay.
Or start being more outgoing a lot quicker than I did. I started doing things that I enjoyed and all of a sudden I started thinking about her less and then one day I just didn’t care anymore.
Me? Outgoing?
Yeah it's gonna take years.
You climbed a wall the other day. Baby steps
I did!!!
I'd forgot about that."
Next try go ape or something. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Time.
Doing things for you.
Building a life that doesn’t include them.
Take back the things that remind you of them, by that I mean songs, places, etc.
Don’t underestimate the power of a good time with friends.
The good sex thing is a plus too.
The most important being time"
This having sex thing seems a popular opinion! |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Time.
Doing things for you.
Building a life that doesn’t include them.
Take back the things that remind you of them, by that I mean songs, places, etc.
Don’t underestimate the power of a good time with friends.
The good sex thing is a plus too.
The most important being time
This having sex thing seems a popular opinion!"
It worked for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I have a free night this week, so instead of my initial plan of just drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself I should just have sex.
If it helps, I'm willing to try.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I have a free night this week, so instead of my initial plan of just drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself I should just have sex.
If it helps, I'm willing to try.
"
You could drink wine, then have sex and then feel sorry for yourself. That way your plans won’t be ruined. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Well I have a free night this week, so instead of my initial plan of just drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself I should just have sex.
If it helps, I'm willing to try.
"
I’m fairly certain that was my original advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I have a free night this week, so instead of my initial plan of just drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself I should just have sex.
If it helps, I'm willing to try.
"
With someone you kinda like though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do something that you enjoy and helps to rebuild your self esteem. Try some yoga. (Yoga is my answer to everything.) maybe book yourself in for a massage? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make a list of all the wankerish things they did and read it often. "
Oh I do this. I make a list of things I didn't like about them. I find it quite cathartic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time, good friends supporting you, rebuild your confidence with a new challenge or by joining a gym or trying a new fitness regime. And the occasional moment of intimacy will help you gradually move on.
It never quite mends though, you merely learn to cope. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I have a free night this week, so instead of my initial plan of just drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself I should just have sex.
If it helps, I'm willing to try.
I’m fairly certain that was my original advice "
I know I know, I never listen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I have a free night this week, so instead of my initial plan of just drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself I should just have sex.
If it helps, I'm willing to try.
With someone you kinda like though. "
Ooooh I don't know about that Steve. No feelings of any kind! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do something that you enjoy and helps to rebuild your self esteem. Try some yoga. (Yoga is my answer to everything.) maybe book yourself in for a massage? "
I do yoga!!
It does help a lot, my trouble is finding time to do stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — a metaphor for embracing your flaws and imperfections. “You won't realize your full potential until you go through the tough times,” Kumai says. With that said, Kintsugi takes work and awareness in order for it to truly be healing (lifted from the internet because I’m so tired)
It will mend, just tell your friend to be gentle with themself and allow any feelings to come, whatever your friend feels is valid and ok. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — a metaphor for embracing your flaws and imperfections. “You won't realize your full potential until you go through the tough times,” Kumai says. With that said, Kintsugi takes work and awareness in order for it to truly be healing (lifted from the internet because I’m so tired)
It will mend, just tell your friend to be gentle with themself and allow any feelings to come, whatever your friend feels is valid and ok. "
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