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What would you do for me...

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

What colour are the fruit pastilles, I only like the red and black ones...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I prefer the jelly sweets

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles? "

I'd give you my last Rolo.

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"What colour are the fruit pastilles, I only like the red and black ones..."

They're my favourite too. Mostly green and orange left. But I may have a few wine gums as well

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I prefer the jelly sweets "

It's nice to have something sweet and wobbly in your mouth

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

I'd give you my last Rolo. "

Does it melt in the mouth and turn gooey?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Which Cieling? Bedroom? Also have you moved the furniture?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Depends on the colour of the fruit pastilles.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

I'd give you my last Rolo.

Does it melt in the mouth and turn gooey? "

As long as you don't bite it (too hard.. )

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Which Cieling? Bedroom? Also have you moved the furniture? "

We move the furniture on a regular basis

Bedroom and bathroom, but start with the fun one first

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Depends on the colour of the fruit pastilles."

I shall have to invest in a blindfold and make you guess

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Used to do the names handy man thing but never for a fruit pastile

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well I am a cheap date so emmm take me to a hotel room and have your twos wicked way with me till check out time ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Give a cuddle

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

I'd give you my last Rolo.

Does it melt in the mouth and turn gooey?

As long as you don't bite it (too hard.. )"

Biting's for amateurs. I like a gentle caress with my tongue, and suck

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Used to do the names handy man thing but never for a fruit pastile"

There's a mini milk going as well

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Depends on the colour of the fruit pastilles.

I shall have to invest in a blindfold and make you guess "

Kinky

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Well I am a cheap date so emmm take me to a hotel room and have your twos wicked way with me till check out time ha ha "

Perfect

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Give a cuddle"

A bargain

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

I'd give you my last Rolo.

Does it melt in the mouth and turn gooey?

As long as you don't bite it (too hard.. )

Biting's for amateurs. I like a gentle caress with my tongue, and suck"

Carry on like that and I'll give you the whole pack!

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London


"What colour are the fruit pastilles, I only like the red and black ones...

They're my favourite too. Mostly green and orange left. But I may have a few wine gums as well "

No surprise they're left to last.

Also need to check on the mini milk: not working for a strawberry, but you can pass me the mower for a vanilla!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fruit Pastilles are vegan now so I’ll do pretty much anything you want.

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"What colour are the fruit pastilles, I only like the red and black ones...

They're my favourite too. Mostly green and orange left. But I may have a few wine gums as well

No surprise they're left to last.

Also need to check on the mini milk: not working for a strawberry, but you can pass me the mower for a vanilla!"

I'm sure you can be accommodated

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well I am a cheap date so emmm take me to a hotel room and have your twos wicked way with me till check out time ha ha

Perfect "

Awesome I get my best lingerie on

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Fruit Pastilles are vegan now so I’ll do pretty much anything you want. "

Excellent! Sociology study group time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fruit Pastilles are vegan now so I’ll do pretty much anything you want.

Excellent! Sociology study group time "

Let’s talk classical theories please

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which Cieling? Bedroom? Also have you moved the furniture?

We move the furniture on a regular basis

Bedroom and bathroom, but start with the fun one first"

Let’s start with rearranging your furniture first then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd buy you some proper food

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Which Cieling? Bedroom? Also have you moved the furniture?

We move the furniture on a regular basis

Bedroom and bathroom, but start with the fun one first

Let’s start with rearranging your furniture first then "

Ok. You take charge and tell me where to put things

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'd buy you some proper food "

Like tinned hotdogs?

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


" and a lick of my mini milk?

"

I've never heard it called that before.

Foof, vajayjay, muffin, love tunnel, minge, clunge and beaver.....

..but call it what you will.

I'll offer 15 minutes of washing up or a light spot of dusting.

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd buy you some proper food

Like tinned hotdogs? "

I was thinking more pot noodle but I guess we can do hot dogs.

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By *irtydevil666Man  over a year ago

bristol

Times are hard.......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which Cieling? Bedroom? Also have you moved the furniture?

We move the furniture on a regular basis

Bedroom and bathroom, but start with the fun one first

Let’s start with rearranging your furniture first then

Ok. You take charge and tell me where to put things "

Everything up against the wall!!

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


" and a lick of my mini milk?

I've never heard it called that before.

Foof, vajayjay, muffin, love tunnel, minge, clunge and beaver.....

..but call it what you will.

I'll offer 15 minutes of washing up or a light spot of dusting.

A"

Ooooft. I'm just picturing you in your marigolds holding a feather duster. Kinky

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'd buy you some proper food

Like tinned hotdogs?

I was thinking more pot noodle but I guess we can do hot dogs. "

I hear protein's good for you

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Times are hard....... "

Just times?

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


" and a lick of my mini milk?

I've never heard it called that before.

Foof, vajayjay, muffin, love tunnel, minge, clunge and beaver.....

..but call it what you will.

I'll offer 15 minutes of washing up or a light spot of dusting.

A

Ooooft. I'm just picturing you in your marigolds holding a feather duster. Kinky "

They're pink with ostrich feather cuffs.

Go lovely with my matching pinny.

A

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Which Cieling? Bedroom? Also have you moved the furniture?

We move the furniture on a regular basis

Bedroom and bathroom, but start with the fun one first

Let’s start with rearranging your furniture first then

Ok. You take charge and tell me where to put things

Everything up against the wall!! "

You're going to have to help. I don't allow watchers

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


" and a lick of my mini milk?

I've never heard it called that before.

Foof, vajayjay, muffin, love tunnel, minge, clunge and beaver.....

..but call it what you will.

I'll offer 15 minutes of washing up or a light spot of dusting.

A

Ooooft. I'm just picturing you in your marigolds holding a feather duster. Kinky

They're pink with ostrich feather cuffs.

Go lovely with my matching pinny.

A"

New profile picture expected soon

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By *ighty_tightyMan  over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria "

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Let you give me the rest of the fruit pastilles and mini milk before you took yourself off to sit in the corner

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By *ighty_tightyMan  over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate "

Coveralls, boots, hat and gloves?

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Let you give me the rest of the fruit pastilles and mini milk before you took yourself off to sit in the corner"

Nobody puts baby in the corner

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate

Coveralls, boots, hat and gloves?"

And I thought this was fab swingers, not fab health and safety gone mad

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By *91kMan  over a year ago

Maidstone

This thread has opened my eyes. Didn't realise so many people were fruit pastelle colour-ist

They're all sweet and juicy, how can you only like one or two?!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Would you die for me?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Could I have toast instead

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"This thread has opened my eyes. Didn't realise so many people were fruit pastelle colour-ist

They're all sweet and juicy, how can you only like one or two?!"

I like them all, but I have my favourites. Preferences are ok you know

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Would you dye for me? "

No, I like my natural hair colour

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Could I have toast instead "

You may indeed, but only because we finished the pink cocopops this morning

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you dye for me?

No, I like my natural hair colour "

Shame. I have a thing for redheads. I can give you the fruit pastilles back once I’ve gone to the toilet.

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By *ighty_tightyMan  over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate

Coveralls, boots, hat and gloves?

And I thought this was fab swingers, not fab health and safety gone mad "

I'm not wearing safety specs

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Would you dye for me?

No, I like my natural hair colour

Shame. I have a thing for redheads. I can give you the fruit pastilles back once I’ve gone to the toilet. "

Keep them, I'll have smarties instead

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate

Coveralls, boots, hat and gloves?

And I thought this was fab swingers, not fab health and safety gone mad

I'm not wearing safety specs "

You should be ok. I hope you packed your snorkel

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By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Not sure but is there a savory option?

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Not sure but is there a savory option? "

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

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By *ighty_tightyMan  over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate

Coveralls, boots, hat and gloves?

And I thought this was fab swingers, not fab health and safety gone mad

I'm not wearing safety specs

You should be ok. I hope you packed your snorkel "

Am I cleaning out the hottub again?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Could I have toast instead

You may indeed, but only because we finished the pink cocopops this morning "

Phewwww we are all safe now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you dye for me?

No, I like my natural hair colour

Shame. I have a thing for redheads. I can give you the fruit pastilles back once I’ve gone to the toilet.

Keep them, I'll have smarties instead "

Fair

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Alas I have neither tight shorts or safety goggles, so I don't meet the criteria

I'm sure you could think of something more appropriate

Coveralls, boots, hat and gloves?

And I thought this was fab swingers, not fab health and safety gone mad

I'm not wearing safety specs

You should be ok. I hope you packed your snorkel

Am I cleaning out the hottub again?"

You can delve anywhere it's moist and dirty

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Could I have toast instead

You may indeed, but only because we finished the pink cocopops this morning

Phewwww we are all safe now "

Unicorn hoops are still available

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By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven "

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Could I have toast instead

You may indeed, but only because we finished the pink cocopops this morning

Phewwww we are all safe now

Unicorn hoops are still available "

Anything else

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side? "

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Could I have toast instead

You may indeed, but only because we finished the pink cocopops this morning

Phewwww we are all safe now

Unicorn hoops are still available

Anything else "

Just me. On a plate

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By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips "

OK I'm in!!! What needs my attention??

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By *xydadbodMan  over a year ago

Milton keynes

I'll be happy to be the gardener for some sweets. Top on or off is optional lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'll be happy to be the gardener for some sweets. Top on or off is optional lol"

What's your plastering and skimming skills like?... I have a sweet drawer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles? "

Being a professional decorator I'd paint your ceiling and leave your face like a painters radio.

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles? "

Can I just clarify, the fruit pastilles are your nipples and the mini milk is your vagina?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Stranger Danger..

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips

OK I'm in!!! What needs my attention?? "

Mainly me But we do genuinely need to redecorate the bedroom. Any good at removing wallpaper?

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'll be happy to be the gardener for some sweets. Top on or off is optional lol"

Mmmmm. Deal. I'll just be sat over here on the sun lounger sipping my mocktail and supervising

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

Being a professional decorator I'd paint your ceiling and leave your face like a painters radio. "

I can imagine you'd leave behind quite some splatter marks

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Let you give me the rest of the fruit pastilles and mini milk before you took yourself off to sit in the corner

Nobody puts baby in the corner "

Good job I’m not a “nobody” then

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Stranger Danger..

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn."

Come along fabbers. Here we are lovelies, come get your lollipops, lollipops, come along my little ones. They're all free today, cherry pie, cream puffs, ice cream, treacle tart

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By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips

OK I'm in!!! What needs my attention??

Mainly me But we do genuinely need to redecorate the bedroom. Any good at removing wallpaper? "

I'm great at stripping!

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

Can I just clarify, the fruit pastilles are your nipples and the mini milk is your vagina? "

For you they could be

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Let you give me the rest of the fruit pastilles and mini milk before you took yourself off to sit in the corner

Nobody puts baby in the corner

Good job I’m not a “nobody” then "

You're somebody alright

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By *parrow77Man  over a year ago

cheshire


"What colour are the fruit pastilles, I only like the red and black ones...

They're my favourite too. Mostly green and orange left. But I may have a few wine gums as well "

Love the orange ones I’d hoover or cut grass for it

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips

OK I'm in!!! What needs my attention??

Mainly me But we do genuinely need to redecorate the bedroom. Any good at removing wallpaper?

I'm great at stripping!"

I'll mark you out of ten

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"What colour are the fruit pastilles, I only like the red and black ones...

They're my favourite too. Mostly green and orange left. But I may have a few wine gums as well

Love the orange ones I’d hoover or cut grass for it "

I did the grass myself yesterday, but shall bear that in mind

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By *oldyoudown41Man  over a year ago

caledonian


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles? "

I’d do pretty much anything for pastilles and milk

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

I’d do pretty much anything for pastilles and milk "

Good to know

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By *verage Guy90Man  over a year ago

Stockton On Tees


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles? "

Good to see people taking safety seriously

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"If I offered you half a pack of fruit pastilles and a lick of my mini milk?

Anyone fancy cutting my lawn wearing just your tight shorts? Or painting my ceiling in nothing but safety goggles?

Good to see people taking safety seriously "

Well of course. No-one wants a bit of splatter in their eye

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By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips

OK I'm in!!! What needs my attention??

Mainly me But we do genuinely need to redecorate the bedroom. Any good at removing wallpaper?

I'm great at stripping!

I'll mark you out of ten "

Ok looking forward to it...

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By *ickshawed OP   Couple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Not sure but is there a savory option?

I've got chicken kievs in the oven

Ohhh you tease what's the side?

Onion rings, broccoli and homemade chips

OK I'm in!!! What needs my attention??

Mainly me But we do genuinely need to redecorate the bedroom. Any good at removing wallpaper?

I'm great at stripping!

I'll mark you out of ten

Ok looking forward to it..."

I might even go all the way up to 11!

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By *iddlesticksMan  over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

[Removed by poster at 30/05/22 09:05:41]

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By *iddlesticksMan  over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’d wear your underwear straight from the wash until it had drip dried.

I know I know I’m all heart.

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