FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Relationships
Relationships
Jump to: Newest in thread
My aim when I was a child was the old people ‘couples’ that my mum called ‘companions’ - what I imagined was basically fuck buddies but more formal.
Went on holiday and to family do’s together but still lived separately.
I think now, as an adult I’d still kinda like it (I’m in a co-habiting relationship) but I think a lot of it would realistically come down to finances! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have single friends who are perfectly content and single friends who aren't and the same goes for my friends in relationships. It is possible to be happily single just the same as it's possible to be happily partnered.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to stay single and be happy?
Is it possible not to miss the things a relationship gives ?"
Depends on if he knows how to work a washing machine.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"Is it possible to stay single and be happy?
Is it possible not to miss the things a relationship gives ?"
Most definitely 
Been single 2yrs now & not looking to change that status anytime soon esp with mate's stag do and wedding coming up this yeah. I wanna sin with a clear conscious lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends on the person totally. FWB relationships are perfect for me. I don’t want anyone involved in my actual life permanently, ie: in my house and having a say in what I do and don’t do, and I never will but I am very happy with my life as it is. Other people may not be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it's possible.
And it's probably possible as long as you have a robust support network in place: such as friends, family, non-tangible distractions, adequate emotional outlets, a steady stream of contentment and fulfilment in whatever manifestation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Of course you can do everything you like and be happy about it. But humans are programmed to long for a family life. So it's hard to get emotional fulfilment by staying single throughout. It's not a deal breaker though. There are ways to get around it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"...humans are programmed to long for a family life.
°
Are they??"
Yeah, I think this is a lie we tell ourselves.
Many people have the urge to procreate. Others don't.
Most other needs can be obtained in other ways these days |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...humans are programmed to long for a family life.
°
Are they??
Yeah, I think this is a lie we tell ourselves.
Many people have the urge to procreate. Others don't.
Most other needs can be obtained in other ways these days"
Urge to procreate is the basis of evolution. I agree that there are exceptions. But there are many who are not one of those exceptions but are living a lonely life that leads to high rates of depression. Not saying that they should all get married just because of this. Saying this as a person who has been in a bad relationship and got divorced.
In my opinion, living alone is better than being in a bad relationship. But being in a good relationship is better than being alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...humans are programmed to long for a family life.
°
Are they??
Yeah, I think this is a lie we tell ourselves.
Many people have the urge to procreate. Others don't.
Most other needs can be obtained in other ways these days
Urge to procreate is the basis of evolution. I agree that there are exceptions. But there are many who are not one of those exceptions but are living a lonely life that leads to high rates of depression. Not saying that they should all get married just because of this. Saying this as a person who has been in a bad relationship and got divorced.
In my opinion, living alone is better than being in a bad relationship. But being in a good relationship is better than being alone. "
And yet finding a good relationship feels like the hardest thing in the world... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My aim when I was a child was the old people ‘couples’ that my mum called ‘companions’ - what I imagined was basically fuck buddies but more formal.
Went on holiday and to family do’s together but still lived separately.
I think now, as an adult I’d still kinda like it (I’m in a co-habiting relationship) but I think a lot of it would realistically come down to finances! "
Yes this is me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I intend on staying single and becoming the crazy dog lady.
I do miss certain aspects of a relationship, but for me the possibility of heartache just isn't worth it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I intend on staying single and becoming the crazy dog lady.
I do miss certain aspects of a relationship, but for me the possibility of heartache just isn't worth it. "
I’d risk heartache. Can’t imagine going to my grave thinking ‘what if’ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I intend on staying single and becoming the crazy dog lady.
I do miss certain aspects of a relationship, but for me the possibility of heartache just isn't worth it.
I’d risk heartache. Can’t imagine going to my grave thinking ‘what if’ "
With "what if" there's still a bit of hope.
With heartache there's none.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes it's possible, I'm quite happy being single but on the flip I do miss having a partner because I'm a bit of a sucker for love.
Maybe one day I'll meet someone I want to be with and risk heartache again but I'm in no rush for it to happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m very happy being single, I have everything I need in life .
I don’t have room in my life at the moment for a relationship but if someone came into my life and felt right then I wouldn’t oppose it.
I like to go with the flow and appreciate what I have in the moment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd love to be in a close relationship with a woman, but as I've found, more than once, the wrong relationship is worse than none.
Maybe I'll never find one who shares my passions, but until then I'll seek pleasure in the company of friends and FWBs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Would rather stayed single but I wanted kids first missed I wasn’t married had a kid and she ran off with child never to see her so got married to have kids now in a sexless marriage but there for the kids some may judge and say leave but it’s not that easy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it suits a certain type of person who’s happy to be single permanently.
In my opinion they’d have plenty of friends or close family nearby. A job that is more of a hobby that you get paid to do or a professional who’s trained for years to get to their position.
Basically a person who’s life is complicated enough without the hassles of a relationship. Or someone who’s personal and professional life is fulfilled enough already. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I intend on staying single and becoming the crazy dog lady.
I do miss certain aspects of a relationship, but for me the possibility of heartache just isn't worth it.
I’d risk heartache. Can’t imagine going to my grave thinking ‘what if’
With "what if" there's still a bit of hope.
With heartache there's none.
"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm wasn't built to be alone.
I don't need someone I want someone. Yes heartache is the most painful experience and at the moment the thought of going through that again is terrifying.
Being with someone and caring for them to me is most special feeling |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you can be . I was with my ex for 17 years and he was an arsehole.
I was actually more lonely being stuck in a marriage with him than I am now.
16 months on I’m more than happy as I am . I would prefer a fwb to be on the scene but it’s actually quite difficult to find  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think you can be . I was with my ex for 17 years and he was an arsehole.
I was actually more lonely being stuck in a marriage with him than I am now.
16 months on I’m more than happy as I am . I would prefer a fwb to be on the scene but it’s actually quite difficult to find "
Actually , it’s quite easy to find someone to have sex with, but turning it into a regular thing rather than being ignored after til they are horny again is a different matter .  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I miss feeling safe with someone. I miss the intimate connection. I miss knowing someone is there for me if I fail, win feel sad or want to enjoy the best moneando memories.
But I’m happy being single, and content. Just not what I wanted, but it sure is a lot less hassle when Valentine’s Day is coming up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been single for long periods and it was fine until I experienced romantic love for the first time 18 months ago. It ended, but now I know what I could have - I want it again. Worth the risk for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to stay single and be happy?
Is it possible not to miss the things a relationship gives ?"
Yes it is possible, I am single and happy, have been for over 10 years now.
Why wouldn't it be possible to be single and happy?.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find that relationships can a very treacherous and confusing thing.
When your single you long for that special someone to enjoy days out and dates with…. But when you start a new relationship, the buzz is amazing, when everything is fresh and exciting with you enjoying lots of fun finding all about what makes this new person tick…. But then after awhile the fun can fade away and things become routine…. If the boredom sets in, you’ll find yourself longing for the thrill of casual hook ups that in turn, feel empty with you longing for the company of a regular partner.
The thing I see a lot of people struggling with is knowing how and when to call off a relationship that has run it’s course. it’s hard to split once you live together or have started a family but it might be why sometimes it’s a lot easier to keep yourself single and carefree….. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
Been single for 10 years, and very happily. I've known people who stayed in unhealthy relationships because they feel they had to, or were more afraid of being "alone", meaning single.
Ideally I would like a relationship at some point though. I think being happily single for this long would make me a much better boyfriend if it ever happens, specifically because I took the time to enjoy myself and do things I wanted while single |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Absolutely you can be happy & single I am & I have no intention to change it either strong independent woman here because I’ve had to be & I miss nothing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I frame the question entirely the other way round: is it possible to be in a relationship and happy? I hardly know any truly happy people who are in relationships.
I've been single almost my whole adult life - certainly from my late 20s. I just don't feel the need to be partnered. It makes me shudder in fact. I've developed and nurtured a good relationship with myself, and it feels so solid that it doesn't need adding to. I'm very happy, and never feel lonely in any sense, despite spending 95% of my time alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"...humans are programmed to long for a family life.
°
Are they??
°
Yeah, I think this is a lie we tell ourselves.
Many people have the urge to procreate. Others don't.
Most other needs can be obtained in other ways these days.
°
Urge to procreate is the basis of evolution. I agree that there are exceptions. But there are many who are not one of those exceptions but are living a lonely life that leads to high rates of depression. Not saying that they should all get married just because of this. Saying this as a person who has been in a bad relationship and got divorced.
In my opinion, living alone is better than being in a bad relationship. But being in a good relationship is better than being alone. "
•
Not necessarily. Whilst it 'may be' the basis of evolution for all/most living things, for humankind the urge to procreate is no longer instinctively preordained. I would say it's more about "copulation" and not necessarily "procreation". Singletons who are happy/content In their situation are able to engage in sex but without the need for a permanent partner or a family dynamic.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...humans are programmed to long for a family life.
°
Are they??
°
Yeah, I think this is a lie we tell ourselves.
Many people have the urge to procreate. Others don't.
Most other needs can be obtained in other ways these days.
°
Urge to procreate is the basis of evolution. I agree that there are exceptions. But there are many who are not one of those exceptions but are living a lonely life that leads to high rates of depression. Not saying that they should all get married just because of this. Saying this as a person who has been in a bad relationship and got divorced.
In my opinion, living alone is better than being in a bad relationship. But being in a good relationship is better than being alone.
•
Not necessarily. Whilst it 'may be' the basis of evolution for all/most living things, for humankind the urge to procreate is no longer instinctively preordained. I would say it's more about "copulation" and not necessarily "procreation". Singletons who are happy/content In their situation are able to engage in sex but without the need for a permanent partner or a family dynamic.
"
Not sure how you say it's "may be" the basis. It is a proven fact that spreading the gene is the basis of evolution. Copulation is one of the activities which help in spreading our genes. But it doesn't stop there. Just giving birth doesn't spread the genes. The parent also need to protect the offsprings so that they survive through their life and spread the genes further.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes.
I've only had one serious relationship which was abusive so to be in a relationship for me is to be miserable. Single = happiness. "
Not all men are like that, you could be missing out in being with someone that worships the ground you walk on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m fed up of hearing ‘you don’t need someone else to make you happy’ - no I don’t - but to have it would be nice. It’s a want, not a need.
I do like my space and my house to myself so not sure I could live with someone again, but when your partner dies the longing to be wanted and loved again can be overwhelming |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m single but certainly wish I wasn’t.
I’m happy in my own company, have plenty of friends and am happy with who I am as a person.
But I do very much have a longing to feel loved. friendship love & love from family is great but romantic love is different. I like feeling part of a team.
But I also recognise that plenty of people feel fulfilled being single and plenty of people in relationships are miserable. There’s no right or wrong way it’s just down to the individuals to figure out what makes them happiest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes.
I've only had one serious relationship which was abusive so to be in a relationship for me is to be miserable. Single = happiness.
Not all men are like that, you could be missing out in being with someone that worships the ground you walk on."
Well I've been searching and had no luck... So if you find him, send him my way.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Each to their own but I'm very happy being single. Relationships can be good but depends on the person you're with but it's very hard work to maintain a relationship which people often don't like to mention. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes.
I've only had one serious relationship which was abusive so to be in a relationship for me is to be miserable. Single = happiness.
Not all men are like that, you could be missing out in being with someone that worships the ground you walk on.
Well I've been searching and had no luck... So if you find him, send him my way. "
Here I a……
Oh. Never mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Is it possible to stay single and be happy?
Is it possible not to miss the things a relationship gives ?"
I think it’s possible yes, I know lots of people who are single and ‘happy’ - me included. The organism has everything it needs to survive, it’s not in danger , it has meaningful work, friends and hobbies and maybe even spirituality and a measurable positive impact on the world.
But I think achieving much higher levels of fulfilment requires a kind of interdependence only found in 1-2-relationships but they don’t have to be exclusive. Somethings are so good, they have to be shared to be fully enjoyed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *atnayCouple
over a year ago
STEVENAGE |
Forggotten what being single is like. J and I have been together 25 years this summer.
With baby steps we are entering the scene. So now nothing is missing. We remain very much in love and have the bonus of being permitted to endulge in our lusty desires towards others. Win win. You know when your with the right person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A year ago I'd have said no.
Now I'm learning that actually it's more important to date myself. To like myself, and to care for me. By doing this I'm actually happier now than I've ever been.
For years I thought I wanted a relationship. While in many ways I would love some of the aspects of one (closeness, middle of the night spooning, someone to do things with and to just hug me and hold my hand)
I've learnt that I'm not good at letting people in to every part of my life. My last one taught me I'm terrified of becoming too vulnerable.
Plus, I'm not sure I believe that one person can absolutely be enough for me. It's a hard realisation for me as I'm such a romantic at heart. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
