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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I’ve been doing some reading recently and one of the things that has popped up a few times is how it is often considered a red flag within ENM circles to have a one penis/vagina policy within a dynamic, where there is expected to be equanimity.
What are your thoughts folks? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"For something that I thought had liberation at the heart of it, it seems fraught with instructions about how to do it"
Liberation isn’t freedom from ethics or a level of responsibility towards others though.
Sexual liberation isn’t freedom from all morals, is it? |
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"For something that I thought had liberation at the heart of it, it seems fraught with instructions about how to do it
Liberation isn’t freedom from ethics or a level of responsibility towards others though.
Sexual liberation isn’t freedom from all morals, is it? "
I thought this was about penis and vagina, not morals |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"For something that I thought had liberation at the heart of it, it seems fraught with instructions about how to do it
Liberation isn’t freedom from ethics or a level of responsibility towards others though.
Sexual liberation isn’t freedom from all morals, is it?
I thought this was about penis and vagina, not morals "
Do you know what a one penis/vagina policy is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been doing some reading recently and one of the things that has popped up a few times is how it is often considered a red flag within ENM circles to have a one penis/vagina policy within a dynamic, where there is expected to be equanimity.
What are your thoughts folks? "
So no DVP? |
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"For something that I thought had liberation at the heart of it, it seems fraught with instructions about how to do it
Liberation isn’t freedom from ethics or a level of responsibility towards others though.
Sexual liberation isn’t freedom from all morals, is it?
I thought this was about penis and vagina, not morals
Do you know what a one penis/vagina policy is? "
I reckon I could make an uneducated guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For something that I thought had liberation at the heart of it, it seems fraught with instructions about how to do it
Liberation isn’t freedom from ethics or a level of responsibility towards others though.
Sexual liberation isn’t freedom from all morals, is it?
I thought this was about penis and vagina, not morals "
Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't one penis/ vagina = monogamy?
Its either one penis or one vagina in the ENM relationship, but plenty of the other.
More commonly known as HYCAEI"
Put yer left leg in.... yer left leg out.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This would be a red flag to me by the way. Can’t understand it personally but yeah. Does it not feel like it’s rooted in some problematic worldviews as well? Idk doesn’t sit right with me. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Isn't one penis/ vagina = monogamy?
Its either one penis or one vagina in the ENM relationship, but plenty of the other.
More commonly known as HYCAEI
Put yer left leg in.... yer left leg out.... "
You told me it was still tight  |
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"I’ve been doing some reading recently and one of the things that has popped up a few times is how it is often considered a red flag within ENM circles to have a one penis/vagina policy within a dynamic, where there is expected to be equanimity.
What are your thoughts folks? "
I have no idea what this even means.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been doing some reading recently and one of the things that has popped up a few times is how it is often considered a red flag within ENM circles to have a one penis/vagina policy within a dynamic, where there is expected to be equanimity.
What are your thoughts folks? "
As Poly person, I would hesitate to get involved with someone in a relationship with a 1-penis (or vagina) policy.
Usually, rules like this are down to feelings of jealousy or worry about the potential for feelings of jealousy. Its a way to try and stop the male half from being jealous but it doesnt usually work. If your girlfriend falls for me and is doing the "fresh romance" thing, you are gonna get jealous no matter what genetalia I have (this is in a poly context... I guess in a swinging context that would translate to "If Im giving your girlfriend an awesome time in bed...").
Jealousy + bad communication = bad outcome.
However, some people find that it is a helpful way to start ENM and then they are pleasantly surprised by how relaxed and not-jealous they feel. Or they realise that their difficult feelings are resolvable and do just that before moving to a less strict way of operating.
Whether that works is all down to comunication of course... if there's good communication between the existing couple, I am willing to give a potential connection a go, even if they are new and full of rules! Even if it doesnt work out, hopefully everyone will still part on good terms.
If there were other reasons for a 1 penis policy (not sure what though?!?) then I would at least consider it. But if they are using it to stop someone being jealous and they've had that policy for a while then I would stay well away. To me that just says that they have never worked through the jealousy issue.
Those are my thoughts. Not sure if thats what you were looking for OP!  |
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