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Reasons your penis may be bruised
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With lob on: you were trying to play bat and ball with the neighbours
You were using it to hammer nails in the wall
Using it as a spirit level and the shelf fell down
Without lob on: you squashed it in the door frame |
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"If your sleeping with Lorena Bobbitt he did alright after the chop he went on to have a very good adult career id still pass "
same here imagine her next fella I bet he hid the knifes and scissors  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your sleeping with Lorena Bobbitt he did alright after the chop he went on to have a very good adult career id still pass same here imagine her next fella I bet he hid the knifes and scissors "
like fuck id have hooked it up to a rambo style man trap minute its pulled out come the spikes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re on a night out with your friends and you meet a girl in a bar. You get talking to her and you’re both getting on really well. Her group of mates are moving on but she tells you the night club they’re going to later on and says she’ll see you there. You’re so happy and excited but also nervous. You have a few too many extra drinks just to build up your confidence for when you see her later on. Finally, your mates decide to go to the club but by this time you’ve had a few too many. Whilst queuing up to get in, the bouncers spot that you’re a bit wobbly and that you’re wearing trainers so they tell you that you can’t get in. No! The girl of your dreams is in there. This was going to be the best night ever and now it’s ruined! Disappointed is not the word. You are positively devastated. It’s as if this bouncer ripped your still beating heart out of chest and then held it in front of your eyes before squeezing it dry. You can’t control yourself. You extend the middle finger of each hand right in front of the bouncer’s face and scream, “FUCK YOU!” Right into his stupid gorilla face, spraying your saliva in his eyes. He stares back at you remaining calm on the outside but inwardly raging. Then he punches you right in the cock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are about to enter through a doorway at the exact same time as someone else and both of you, not wanting to be rude, stop and gesture to the other to go first. There is an exchange, ‘After you.’ ‘ No. After you.’ ‘No you first. I insist.’ You then both try again to go through at the same time again and then repeat the same ‘after you’ exchange once again. Yet again you attempt to go through the doorway at the same time. This time the other person says, ‘This isn’t funny anymore!’ And punches you right in the cock. |
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