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Gentlemen - nice or offence
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"It depends entirely on the intention and if you would display the same behaviour regardless of someone's gender. For the most part I believe that such behaviour is good manners. " About 80%. Opening doors, waiting for everyone to sit down before starting food, offering a drink, putting toilet seat down - everyone Walking the road side - only women, blokes can get wet from puddles  | |||
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"It depends entirely on the intention and if you would display the same behaviour regardless of someone's gender. For the most part I believe that such behaviour is good manners. About 80%. Opening doors, waiting for everyone to sit down before starting food, offering a drink, putting toilet seat down - everyone Walking the road side - only women, blokes can get wet from puddles "Not sure those things mean a gentleman though. We probably all do the first paragraph. I’ve always walked roadside when I’m with my kids, even now I do and they’re older! | |||
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"It's manners simple as And I will always be a gentleman regardless of what anyone thinks "By what's been said here so will I and I'm a woman  | |||
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"I dont think it should be a gender linked thing... women should also be nice and thoughtful to other people " Definitely it doesn’t cost anything to be nice | |||
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"People should treat each other with respect. I'm sure you treat everyone respectfully but opening a door and walking on the road side of the pavement does not a gentleman make"  | |||
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"Think it depends on the generation. The older generation would probabaly love it. The younger not so much." | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man"" Manners isn’t sexist. | |||
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"Had a lovely conversation the other day about being a gentleman and manners. This was discussed as I walked the road side of her walking up the road and after I opened the door. So the question is of a man likes being a gentleman in the year 2022 should he stop as it can be classed as sexist? Is it sexist or manners, and yes I put the toilet seat down!" I will continue to be a gentleman. If people are offended by the kindness shown by others then I don’t consider that my issue. Hades x | |||
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"I can't actually remember the last time a guy did anything like this for me. " I read your profile. Surely that’s gentlemanly  | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man"" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light?" I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will." Tutted at ** | |||
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"I’m a gentleman but I am wary of doing certain things if I don’t know how someone will react. For my wife I will open doors, let her go first, walk on the outside of the path and even pull her chair out but that’s because I know she likes it. Doing it for strangers can be problematic." I can totally see why you feel like that. Which is sad  | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will." I think some people are rude | |||
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"Think it depends on the generation. The older generation would probabaly love it. The younger not so much." I some what agree I held a door open for a youngen last week she was struggling with bags and back pack got told needn't have bothered she quit capable had to chuckle old lady behind me said I'd have slammed it behind her and yes I'd have done the same if it was a lad struggling. | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. " I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. | |||
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"I’m a gentleman but I am wary of doing certain things if I don’t know how someone will react. For my wife I will open doors, let her go first, walk on the outside of the path and even pull her chair out but that’s because I know she likes it. Doing it for strangers can be problematic. I can totally see why you feel like that. Which is sad "I was taught to be a gentleman by my Grandad so I do some old fashioned things but there’s no bad intention there. It’s all just politeness or trying to be nice. | |||
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"People should treat each other with respect. I'm sure you treat everyone respectfully but opening a door and walking on the road side of the pavement does not a gentleman make" Literally this! | |||
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. Seriously, when was the last time any woman except the queen say in the passenger seat waiting for a man to come round and open the car door? | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. " I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude" In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it." Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome" | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. " Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. " Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. " I see so what do these men do or say to these cashiers/barmaids then that makes you think they think they’re in love with them? | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome" "It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad. | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. " Yes that's true, you see it here too "I'm always polite why won't they meet me" | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. I see so what do these men do or say to these cashiers/barmaids then that makes you think they think they’re in love with them?" I used to work in a pub, so I’ve seen a lot of different things; but they’d think she was flirting because she smiled and they’d crack a sexual joke completely unprovoked, or they’d talk about her body. It was more that they felt they were entitled to her time as if she didn’t have other women to serve. Maybe it’s just my area, though. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad. "I agree. I’m glad I’m not a man in this day and age | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad. "Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses. | |||
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"I will always be a gentleman, dont care what I am classed as, I was brought up that way. Whether I be classed sexist , false white knight or whatever, I'll always walk closest to the road if with a woman , manners cost nothing in my opinion " Even on a dry day when there's no risk of her being drenched as a car drives through a puddle? | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. " Yes, this is totally accurate in my experience. I have manners. I don't need to talk about them or make a big deal of it. Why do men? | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. Yes, this is totally accurate in my experience. I have manners. I don't need to talk about them or make a big deal of it. Why do men? " Because nice guys get sex. It’s part of the act. (I know #notallmen) | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. I see so what do these men do or say to these cashiers/barmaids then that makes you think they think they’re in love with them? I used to work in a pub, so I’ve seen a lot of different things; but they’d think she was flirting because she smiled and they’d crack a sexual joke completely unprovoked, or they’d talk about her body. It was more that they felt they were entitled to her time as if she didn’t have other women to serve. Maybe it’s just my area, though. " Ah ok. Yes sexual jokes and talking about somebody’s body isn’t on. They’re lucky they didn’t get their pint over their head if that was the case. | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. Yes that's true, you see it here too "I'm always polite why won't they meet me"" Yeah, it's the weird theatrics I don't like, not just because I never consented to the role they cast me in. It can often be weirdly transactional. "I deserve something for manners". Umm, I said thank you, what do you want 
I prefer my manners by need, and person to person. (Including accepting what looks like theatrics graciously so I can escape a situation) | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses. "A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”. | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. Yes, this is totally accurate in my experience. I have manners. I don't need to talk about them or make a big deal of it. Why do men? Because nice guys get sex. It’s part of the act. (I know #notallmen) "My niceness token slot is broken. This is why men are persecuted  | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”. "They’re usually the types who tend to be offended by everything though. | |||
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"I will always be a gentleman, dont care what I am classed as, I was brought up that way. Whether I be classed sexist , false white knight or whatever, I'll always walk closest to the road if with a woman , manners cost nothing in my opinion Even on a dry day when there's no risk of her being drenched as a car drives through a puddle?" On any day , if a car veers onto the pavement, there hitting me 1st or I'm jumping higher hopefully | |||
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"Real old fashioned, courtly manners are very unusual, I've waited hours in front of a puddle for someone to come along and throw their cloak over it . Seriously, when was the last time any woman except the queen say in the passenger seat waiting for a man to come round and open the car door?"I have a guy who always opens my car door for me. Its ingrained in him. But at the destination I get out before he has a chance to do it. | |||
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"I will always be a gentleman, dont care what I am classed as, I was brought up that way. Whether I be classed sexist , false white knight or whatever, I'll always walk closest to the road if with a woman , manners cost nothing in my opinion Even on a dry day when there's no risk of her being drenched as a car drives through a puddle? On any day , if a car veers onto the pavement, there hitting me 1st or I'm jumping higher hopefully " How often have you heard about runaway cars wiping a pedestrian out as they're walking on the pavement? | |||
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"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. Yes, this is totally accurate in my experience. I have manners. I don't need to talk about them or make a big deal of it. Why do men? Because nice guys get sex. It’s part of the act. (I know #notallmen)
My niceness token slot is broken. This is why men are persecuted "How can I exchange being a nice guy for sex now????? Oh man | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
They’re usually the types who tend to be offended by everything though. "Other than with my wife and to a certain extent my sisters, most of the gentlemanly things I would do I would do for anyone so to anyone who gets offended by it, you’re not that special | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. Yes, this is totally accurate in my experience. I have manners. I don't need to talk about them or make a big deal of it. Why do men? Because nice guys get sex. It’s part of the act. (I know #notallmen) "Ah yes of course | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It’s not inherently sexist to have manners, of course it’s not, the problem is when men think they are being ‘gentlemen’ and expect something in return, such as a woman’s time, or sex, or even a smile. I will always give a smile or a thank you if someone opens a door for me. I’ll always give a thank you, or a nod if the place is loud; but if they expect anything more it’s just out of order. Though, I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I always hold the door open for people or hold the bus up for them if they are far away etc. a lot of younger people like me do the same. Have to say I’ve never met a man who expected something more from doing something like that so i guess I can’t really comment further on this one. Unfortunately some men just expect women’s time and it’s disappointing. It’s like when they think a barmaid or a cashier is in love with them or is flirting when they are simply just doing their job and being polite. Yes, this is totally accurate in my experience. I have manners. I don't need to talk about them or make a big deal of it. Why do men? Because nice guys get sex. It’s part of the act. (I know #notallmen)
My niceness token slot is broken. This is why men are persecuted
How can I exchange being a nice guy for sex now????? Oh man "Oh noes !! eleventy !! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”. "Ah ok. Well I like people to treat me well and it doesn't offend me. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”. "A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
They’re usually the types who tend to be offended by everything though.
Other than with my wife and to a certain extent my sisters, most of the gentlemanly things I would do I would do for anyone so to anyone who gets offended by it, you’re not that special "Exactly. That’s what I think. If people get offended by things you do that you see as nice etc do you really care or want them in your life anyway? I think not. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
Ah ok. Well I like people to treat me well and it doesn't offend me. "I feel exactly the same. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol. "If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
They’re usually the types who tend to be offended by everything though.
Other than with my wife and to a certain extent my sisters, most of the gentlemanly things I would do I would do for anyone so to anyone who gets offended by it, you’re not that special
Exactly. That’s what I think. If people get offended by things you do that you see as nice etc do you really care or want them in your life anyway? I think not. "Exactly. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol. "Sorry but you can’t promise that. It happens in real life not just on line. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol. "There are occasions where I'd rather people not. I'll own that. But I can count the number of times I've caused a scene about it on zero fingers. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door."How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so. | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative. "It so is | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative. "I find these threads very interesting personally | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative. "Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on. | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
I find these threads very interesting personally "Why? No man is going to come on and say "I let the bitches open their own damn doors!". | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man"" Who said Manners Maketh Man ? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
I find these threads very interesting personally
Why? No man is going to come on and say "I let the bitches open their own damn doors!". "Oh most men won’t comment on these threads much. I know that! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
I find these threads very interesting personally
Why? No man is going to come on and say "I let the bitches open their own damn doors!". "I did have someone tell me once that if I didn't like men holding a door for a woman, then I should be ok with him slamming the door in my face. I mean... Ok? | |||
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"I will always be a gentleman, dont care what I am classed as, I was brought up that way. Whether I be classed sexist , false white knight or whatever, I'll always walk closest to the road if with a woman , manners cost nothing in my opinion Even on a dry day when there's no risk of her being drenched as a car drives through a puddle? On any day , if a car veers onto the pavement, there hitting me 1st or I'm jumping higher hopefully How often have you heard about runaway cars wiping a pedestrian out as they're walking on the pavement?" You never heard of people that drink drive ? Like I said , you can try and humiliate me or belittle my belief in what I do but I find it gentlemanly even if you dont , we dont all agree on things | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Who said Manners Maketh Man ?" OP I think | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
It so is "It’s all a big mating call on both sides. I do enjoy them for that reason. | |||
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There's nothing wrong with manners and I don't think it's sexist to hold a door open or walk on the outside of a path, not like your body is going to protect anyone from a car though.
I think if someone has a issue with a guy just doing things that come naturally then the problem is there's only. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Who said Manners Maketh Man ? OP I think " I thought it was Colin Firth in Kingsmen. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so. "You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on. "Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it."Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’  | |||
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 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
It so is
It’s all a big mating call on both sides. I do enjoy them for that reason. "I was tempted to swim in circles and flutter my fins | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
It so is
It’s all a big mating call on both sides. I do enjoy them for that reason. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I will always be a gentleman, dont care what I am classed as, I was brought up that way. Whether I be classed sexist , false white knight or whatever, I'll always walk closest to the road if with a woman , manners cost nothing in my opinion Even on a dry day when there's no risk of her being drenched as a car drives through a puddle? On any day , if a car veers onto the pavement, there hitting me 1st or I'm jumping higher hopefully How often have you heard about runaway cars wiping a pedestrian out as they're walking on the pavement? You never heard of people that drink drive ? Like I said , you can try and humiliate me or belittle my belief in what I do but I find it gentlemanly even if you dont , we dont all agree on things " Yes, I've heard of drink driving. I was simply curious about why you do it, that's all | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why? "Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it."Possibly because it's so performative by men - "look I'm so lovely, I held the door for you - you're gonna fuck me, right?" It's fine with me. I also open doors for people - could I have a medal now? Or is it just the men? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’ "I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace. "It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?"Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok "It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"People should treat each other with respect. I'm sure you treat everyone respectfully but opening a door and walking on the road side of the pavement does not a gentleman make" They certainly are gentlemanly traits. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Possibly because it's so performative by men - "look I'm so lovely, I held the door for you - you're gonna fuck me, right?"
It's fine with me. I also open doors for people - could I have a medal now? Or is it just the men?"I’m married and completely faithful. If someone’s thinking about sex because I’ve held a door then maybe I’m not the problem. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude."Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?"You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude.
Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude. "It’s not rude to you; it’s rude to ME. It’s almost as if every woman, or at least AFAB person who’s been bought up as a girl, isn’t the same. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It depends what you're actually doing. Holding doors open for anyone = polite. Making a massive fuss about what a gentleman you're being, and don't you little ladies need help = weird and patronising " Absolutely Just be polite. To people. Job done. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you? "Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Possibly because it's so performative by men - "look I'm so lovely, I held the door for you - you're gonna fuck me, right?"
It's fine with me. I also open doors for people - could I have a medal now? Or is it just the men?
I’m married and completely faithful. If someone’s thinking about sex because I’ve held a door then maybe I’m not the problem."Exactly! Either I live on a different planet and most of my friends do or we’ve avoided these kind of men all our lives! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude.
Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude.
It’s not rude to you; it’s rude to ME. It’s almost as if every woman, or at least AFAB person who’s been bought up as a girl, isn’t the same. "I know it’s rude to you. You already said. It’s not rude to me. Hence the agree to disagree comment. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism. "I'll take that as a yes then | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then "A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?"I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling."Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?"Ah so it’s more of a statement then? Like a I don’t need men I can do that on my own no matter how good your intentions are type thing. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude.
Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude. "I agree Nora, it isn't rude, I love guys to be gentlemen and I love the courtesy and manners that comes with it. My Dad was the epitome of this and I hold that in high regard. He would of been 75 this year and very upset if someone had took offence at him being a Gentleman, times change yes, but remember the people who grew up in different times with different standards. What I do find sad is some cynical mindsets that think Men are after something if they are being courteous. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware."Can I message you? I'd be quite interested in joining a feminist group. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that. "I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude.
Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude.
I agree Nora, it isn't rude, I love guys to be gentlemen and I love the courtesy and manners that comes with it. My Dad was the epitome of this and I hold that in high regard.
He would of been 75 this year and very upset if someone had took offence at him being a Gentleman, times change yes, but remember the people who grew up in different times with different standards.
What I do find sad is some cynical mindsets that think Men are after something if they are being courteous. "Does no one here read? It might not be rude to YOU…but it’s rude to ME. We aren’t all the same. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out "And yet here you are calling an AFAB person angry because they dared to express their feelings. Funny that. Almost as if you can’t deal with them having their own voice. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude.
Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude.
I agree Nora, it isn't rude, I love guys to be gentlemen and I love the courtesy and manners that comes with it. My Dad was the epitome of this and I hold that in high regard.
He would of been 75 this year and very upset if someone had took offence at him being a Gentleman, times change yes, but remember the people who grew up in different times with different standards.
What I do find sad is some cynical mindsets that think Men are after something if they are being courteous. "I have that cynical mindset and it's because I've had experience of SOME men using courtesy to try and get something. I don't think I'm the only one either. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
Literally! I could be considered a ‘woke woman’ and I truly don’t care if a man is kind to me- I just say thank you and move on, much like if they are kind to me. No one gets offended by a man holding a door for them. Sometimes I’d rather they wouldn’t, but I just say thank you and move on.
Why would you rather they wouldn’t though? This is the bit I don’t understand. Why?
Because I just don’t need them to. If they can see I’m walking towards a door and jump in front of me to open it, it’s rude. Or if they feel the need to pass me something in the supermarket because they think I won’t be able to handle it because it’s heavy. I prefer to be left alone and be left in peace.
It’s rude to open the door for you? Ok
It’s rude if they jump in front of me to do it, yes. If they are holding it open when I’m behind them then that’s appreciated and I say thank you. But when we’re both going to the same place and they jump in front to hold the door open; it’s rude.
Ok. Happy to agree to disagree. It’s not rude.
I agree Nora, it isn't rude, I love guys to be gentlemen and I love the courtesy and manners that comes with it. My Dad was the epitome of this and I hold that in high regard.
He would of been 75 this year and very upset if someone had took offence at him being a Gentleman, times change yes, but remember the people who grew up in different times with different standards.
What I do find sad is some cynical mindsets that think Men are after something if they are being courteous. "Couldn’t agree more | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware."But that in itself is a contradiction. You’re asking for evidence but saying you’ve seen it for yourself. Why do you need evidence if you’ve seen it? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware.
Can I message you? I'd be quite interested in joining a feminist group. "You can find a lot of them online like on Facebook, Twitter etc. I know there’s some forums online that are dedicated exclusively to feminism, those might be helpful. The ones I’m in are more sapphic based/radical feminism so unless you’re up for that they might not be for you lol. But I’m pretty sure you should be able to find some in your town! | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out "I haven't found you to be at all sexist BUT that question was the kind that sexist men ask. A lot. So I can see why Annie reacted that way. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out "Resulting to name calling now . How predictable | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware.
But that in itself is a contradiction. You’re asking for evidence but saying you’ve seen it for yourself. Why do you need evidence if you’ve seen it? "I’m asking for evidence of ‘most women are offended by men doing something nice’; keep up. | |||
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"Oh my sides, this thread ! "Fab entertainment at its best. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
I haven't found you to be at all sexist BUT that question was the kind that sexist men ask. A lot. So I can see why Annie reacted that way. "Yep; thank you! It’s an infuriating question and is only used to tone-police women and AFAB people. | |||
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"I've counted 102 instances of the word "door" in this thread, including message quotes. If doors had never been invented this thread would have had a different outcome. And Jim Morrison would still be alive. "• 290 doors now. More in here than inside the royal château of Versailles. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware.
But that in itself is a contradiction. You’re asking for evidence but saying you’ve seen it for yourself. Why do you need evidence if you’ve seen it?
I’m asking for evidence of ‘most women are offended by men doing something nice’; keep up."That's a strong case of gaslighting. Noone said most women are offended An increased number is the worst that was said | |||
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"That's a strong case of gaslighting. Noone said most women are offended An increased number is the worst that was said" Do you know what gaslighting is? It’s an abusive technique used by manipulators to make their victim believe that they are losing their minds. It’s not because someone made a misquote on the internet. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
And yet here you are calling an AFAB person angry because they dared to express their feelings. Funny that. Almost as if you can’t deal with them having their own voice. "I asked if you were angry in relation to what you wrote and you flew of the rails and it seems like it's you who can't deal with guys having a voice like you're the only one that's allowed to talk | |||
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"Oh my sides, this thread !
Fab entertainment at its best. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I've counted 102 instances of the word "door" in this thread, including message quotes. If doors had never been invented this thread would have had a different outcome. And Jim Morrison would still be alive.
•
290 doors now. More in here than inside the royal château of Versailles." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
And yet here you are calling an AFAB person angry because they dared to express their feelings. Funny that. Almost as if you can’t deal with them having their own voice.
I asked if you were angry in relation to what you wrote and you flew of the rails and it seems like it's you who can't deal with guys having a voice like you're the only one that's allowed to talk "‘You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?’ Me having an opinion isn’t being angry. Me stating that opinion isn’t being angry. Me having a different opinion to you, isn’t being angry. It’s a sexist question to ask. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
And yet here you are calling an AFAB person angry because they dared to express their feelings. Funny that. Almost as if you can’t deal with them having their own voice.
I asked if you were angry in relation to what you wrote and you flew of the rails and it seems like it's you who can't deal with guys having a voice like you're the only one that's allowed to talk "Nail on head | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware.
But that in itself is a contradiction. You’re asking for evidence but saying you’ve seen it for yourself. Why do you need evidence if you’ve seen it?
I’m asking for evidence of ‘most women are offended by men doing something nice’; keep up."You’re clearly trolling. “Most” was never used. Read up | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware.
But that in itself is a contradiction. You’re asking for evidence but saying you’ve seen it for yourself. Why do you need evidence if you’ve seen it?
I’m asking for evidence of ‘most women are offended by men doing something nice’; keep up.
You’re clearly trolling. “Most” was never used. Read up "I made a misquote; it happens. Weird of you to avoid what I said though. | |||
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"You can see why women have a bad rep... " Please enlighten us. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
I haven't found you to be at all sexist BUT that question was the kind that sexist men ask. A lot. So I can see why Annie reacted that way. "It was just my usual sarcastic way of asking, I should have known would be taken the wrong way I guess | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
I haven't found you to be at all sexist BUT that question was the kind that sexist men ask. A lot. So I can see why Annie reacted that way.
It was just my usual sarcastic way of asking, I should have known would be taken the wrong way I guess "How am I meant to know you’re sarcastic when I’ve literally never even met you before? | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
And yet here you are calling an AFAB person angry because they dared to express their feelings. Funny that. Almost as if you can’t deal with them having their own voice.
I asked if you were angry in relation to what you wrote and you flew of the rails and it seems like it's you who can't deal with guys having a voice like you're the only one that's allowed to talk
Nail on head "With a sledge hammer | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
I’m sorry but for you to know that those online saying are bots you would have to have seen them yourself to come to that conclusion. Unless you’re just trolling.
Yes; I’m a very online person and have been since I was about 11/12 and as such I’m very aware of what goes online. I’m also in several feminist groups who have discussed the same topic. If you can’t see that a lot of arguments online nowadays are purposely faked by the media to cause more separation between groups then maybe it’s you that needs to be more socially aware.
But that in itself is a contradiction. You’re asking for evidence but saying you’ve seen it for yourself. Why do you need evidence if you’ve seen it?
I’m asking for evidence of ‘most women are offended by men doing something nice’; keep up.
You’re clearly trolling. “Most” was never used. Read up
I made a misquote; it happens. Weird of you to avoid what I said though."You asked for evidence of something that wasn’t said. | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
I haven't found you to be at all sexist BUT that question was the kind that sexist men ask. A lot. So I can see why Annie reacted that way.
It was just my usual sarcastic way of asking, I should have known would be taken the wrong way I guess "She doesn't know you though. | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us " Please enlighten us what you mean by this. Please; even dm me if you want. I’d love to know what you mean. | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative. "And this is exactly what's happened... | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us " No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
And this is exactly what's happened..."I seemed to have riled up a large number of men simply for having my own voice and opinion. It’s like they get scared when a woman or AFAB person speaks for herself/themselves lmao | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god!" Well thank god. I’ve got a niece and nephew and I’d hate to see it go this way for them | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god!" Not a 51 year old trying to talk about 20 year olds lmaoooo | |||
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"I just raised it as someone told be it could be seen as sexist. Manners have been with me all my life. "Manners Maketh Man" Sexism comes from the intention behind the action. If someone misinterprets your actions there's not much you can do about it. If I hold a door open for a man, which I often do in shops etc would that be seen in a negative light? I hold a door open for anyone. I have been gutted at by a woman but I’m always thanked or at least smiled at by men. Make of that what you will. I think some people are rude In Newcastle we generally all hold doors open for each other anyway so it’s not so much a problem here but I’ve found being in other parts of the country or certainly around Europe people don’t like it. Blimey really! In this area people say thank you and smile, if they don't I passively aggressively say very loudly "you're welcome"
It will get to a point where we won’t be able to help each other for fear of offending and I think that is very sad.
Do you think so? That really isn't my experience, the people round here are genuinely (for the most part) friendly, helpful and appreciative of small kindnesses.
A lot are but I see a lot online of people who are offended when a man does something “gentlemanly”.
A lot of the time those ‘people’ are bots designed to cause controversy and push further transphobic and misogynistic narratives by extreme rightist. As a vehement feminist and woman’s right activist, I can promise you no one gets offended when a man does something gentlemanly lol.
If you read above I have experienced someone being offended by me holding a door.
How do you know this woman was offended? Did she tut? Did she say rude words? Or did she just simply not smile? Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she’s wary of men; there’s no one set reaction. Anecdotal evidence also doesn’t translate into the whole general population. I could say a man has been offended by me holding the door (which happened when an elderly man got annoyed at me offering him my bus seat), but I don’t say a whole bunch of people get offended by me doing so.
You can deny it all you want but it is a fact that a growing number of women are offended by it.
Do you have a source? Or is your source, ‘trust me bro’
I’ve stated I see it online. Do you have evidence they’re all bots?
Ah so you’ve seen it online yet apparently you also have anecdotal evidence, right. And not just because you can’t possibly accept that times are changing and women have their own feelings and emotions and opinions and are no longer tied down to their husbands and the traditional values that so many still hold?
You sound a bit angry Annie, did someone do something nice today and upset you?
Ah yes, the classic ‘you sound angry’ when a AFAB person is expressing themselves. Ironic to do so on a conversation that started about sexism.
I'll take that as a yes then
A yes that you’re a sexist who can’t deal with the fact AFAB people are their own person? Yes, I’d agree with that.
I'm far from sexist, you definitely don't know me
We are all our own person and I have to deal with far worse so I can cope without throwing my toys out
I haven't found you to be at all sexist BUT that question was the kind that sexist men ask. A lot. So I can see why Annie reacted that way.
It was just my usual sarcastic way of asking, I should have known would be taken the wrong way I guess
How am I meant to know you’re sarcastic when I’ve literally never even met you before? "I'm glad you asked that and the thing is that until you really get to know someone you can't tell what they're like as a person or if they just done something for you thinking nothing of it because they would have done it for anyone as as well without any underlying intentions | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! Well thank god. I’ve got a niece and nephew and I’d hate to see it go this way for them " You’d hate to see them speak up for women’s rights? For women’s voices? Rather strange. | |||
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
And this is exactly what's happened...
I seemed to have riled up a large number of men simply for having my own voice and opinion. It’s like they get scared when a woman or AFAB person speaks for herself/themselves lmao"Lmao indeed. Are you happy to think you’ve scared them all? | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! Not a 51 year old trying to talk about 20 year olds lmaoooo" Oooohhh lmao again! You’re so mature | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
And this is exactly what's happened...
I seemed to have riled up a large number of men simply for having my own voice and opinion. It’s like they get scared when a woman or AFAB person speaks for herself/themselves lmao
Lmao indeed. Are you happy to think you’ve scared them all? "Sigh. Saying scared =/= actually being scared. It’s a metaphor, a figure of speech, personification. If you need an English lesson I’m gonna have to charge. | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! Well thank god. I’ve got a niece and nephew and I’d hate to see it go this way for them You’d hate to see them speak up for women’s rights? For women’s voices? Rather strange." Calm down it's a thread on fab ffs. | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! Well thank god. I’ve got a niece and nephew and I’d hate to see it go this way for them You’d hate to see them speak up for women’s rights? For women’s voices? Rather strange." I don’t think any of this counts as women rights. Just seems very pedantic | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
And this is exactly what's happened...
I seemed to have riled up a large number of men simply for having my own voice and opinion. It’s like they get scared when a woman or AFAB person speaks for herself/themselves lmao"I’m not riled. I’m confused. You’re not making sense and then getting angry when people are responding. Believe it or not I’m somewhat of a feminist myself. | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! Well thank god. I’ve got a niece and nephew and I’d hate to see it go this way for them You’d hate to see them speak up for women’s rights? For women’s voices? Rather strange." Mine are grounded polite young Women who have been brought up well and know exactly what they want in life and they have and will achieve it. And yes I’m proud as fucking punch. | |||
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"So this is the type of 20 year old universities are churning out these days? God help us No! Please don’t think that. Mine don’t have this mindset and they don’t spend “most” of their time on-line either. Thank god! Not a 51 year old trying to talk about 20 year olds lmaoooo" Is ageism ok then? Just sexism that's wrong? This whole thread is a shit show but I need to call out hypocrisy when I see it  | |||
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"I've counted 102 instances of the word "door" in this thread, including message quotes. If doors had never been invented this thread would have had a different outcome. And Jim Morrison would still be alive. "• 290 doors now. More in here than inside the royal château of Versailles. • 384 doors. More than B&Q and Homebase combined.
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"Every time one of these threads starts, it just seems an opportunity to have a go at "woke women" and for men to boast about how they open a door. It's performative.
I find these threads very interesting personally
Why? No man is going to come on and say "I let the bitches open their own damn doors!".
Oh most men won’t comment on these threads much. I know that! "Not worth the hassle and arguments | |||
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