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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it 
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Audi r8 roadster, i wanted one for so so long bought one and my god what a disappointing car, it went well but had zero driver feedback, was crap on track, unreliable, felt clinical, it was terrible, in the end went up in flames. Utter shi7  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?"
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! ..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Audi r8 roadster, i wanted one for so so long bought one and my god what a disappointing car, it went well but had zero driver feedback, was crap on track, unreliable, felt clinical, it was terrible, in the end went up in flames. Utter shi7 "
Gutted for you.. They look like the dogs bollocks! |
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"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! .. "
Sounds like you need someone to do it for you, while you relax with a glass of fizz or an ice cold cocktail. |
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"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams "
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams "
For me, it's been meeting some of the guys from here  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! ..
Sounds like you need someone to do it for you, while you relax with a glass of fizz or an ice cold cocktail. "
Ooooo.. Wait... So what you are saying is that i need a butler!! Omg |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open? "
I closed the door, opened the top vent, discovered it had a bottom vent.... spent 2 hours venting top + bottom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
For me, it's been meeting some of the guys from here "
My biggest fear is that someone will say that about me one day  |
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"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! ..
Sounds like you need someone to do it for you, while you relax with a glass of fizz or an ice cold cocktail.
Ooooo.. Wait... So what you are saying is that i need a butler!! Omg"
Shouldn’t every lady have a butler? |
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"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open?
I closed the door, opened the top vent, discovered it had a bottom vent.... spent 2 hours venting top + bottom "
That's a lot of venting |
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"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
For me, it's been meeting some of the guys from here
My biggest fear is that someone will say that about me one day "
But you don't have a penis |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Oh I love mine , I use coal and wood though.
For years I wanted a huge south facing garden with lots of big trees , vegetable plots, pond, nature area. Now I have it it’s great I love it just didn’t realise quite how much cost and time maintaining it. Everything grows so much and needs a lot of maintenance, cats attack birds and squirrels and in about a month I’m overrun by hundreds of froglets and can’t mow the lawn
|
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open?
I closed the door, opened the top vent, discovered it had a bottom vent.... spent 2 hours venting top + bottom
That's a lot of venting "
Once it's going, close the bottom vent and adjust the top vent to control the heat output. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams "
I restored a fireplace in our house back to it's original inglenook and had a 5kW woodburner professionally fitted. It's been the answer to my dreams turning the biggest (and coldest) room into one of the cosiest and more than halved our reliance on gas central heating.
Whatever problems you're having, i'm sorry to say, i don't think it's the fault of the stove.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! ..
Sounds like you need someone to do it for you, while you relax with a glass of fizz or an ice cold cocktail.
Ooooo.. Wait... So what you are saying is that i need a butler!! Omg
Shouldn’t every lady have a butler?"
I feel deprived... I want one!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open?
I closed the door, opened the top vent, discovered it had a bottom vent.... spent 2 hours venting top + bottom
That's a lot of venting "
I have a lot of puff |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
For me, it's been meeting some of the guys from here
My biggest fear is that someone will say that about me one day
But you don't have a penis "
I have a tinkie-winkie |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have a log burner and I’m cutting wood at the moment to feed it in winter and I hanker after central heating!!!!
Tony"
Its a lot less faff but probably waaaaay more expensive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The temptation to twiddle with the controls in the middle of doing shenanigans...perhaps it's just a bloke thing  "
I'm now intimately acquainted with them all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh I love mine , I use coal and wood though.
For years I wanted a huge south facing garden with lots of big trees , vegetable plots, pond, nature area. Now I have it it’s great I love it just didn’t realise quite how much cost and time maintaining it. Everything grows so much and needs a lot of maintenance, cats attack birds and squirrels and in about a month I’m overrun by hundreds of froglets and can’t mow the lawn
"
Get a goat |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open?
I closed the door, opened the top vent, discovered it had a bottom vent.... spent 2 hours venting top + bottom
That's a lot of venting
Once it's going, close the bottom vent and adjust the top vent to control the heat output."
I tried that last night and the heat increased immensely! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
I restored a fireplace in our house back to it's original inglenook and had a 5kW woodburner professionally fitted. It's been the answer to my dreams turning the biggest (and coldest) room into one of the cosiest and more than halved our reliance on gas central heating.
Whatever problems you're having, i'm sorry to say, i don't think it's the fault of the stove. "
i sadly concur! |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"I've always hankered after a log burner, especially for sexy times which look really exciting in films... and it seems 'ecological-ish' if you burn the fallen /diseased wood
But having experienced one recently, its either set to volcanic lava stream setting or the darn thing is out
My eyes are stinging from the smoke, I've burnt my way through a small forest, I've got a sweat rash and i have flushed sweaty rosy cheeks.. They are so red, I could illuminate a lighthouse currently
I'm so definitely over it
What have you hankered after, only to have the reality dash your romantic dreams
Sod knows what you were doing wrong but I love the one here, did you leave the door open?
I closed the door, opened the top vent, discovered it had a bottom vent.... spent 2 hours venting top + bottom
That's a lot of venting
Once it's going, close the bottom vent and adjust the top vent to control the heat output.
I tried that last night and the heat increased immensely! "
I'm pleased to have been of service. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve a wood fire. Mine blazes. 
You really do get used to them, you know how to control it. Like above, venting is key. But your not going to learn that during a romantic weekend away
A laminator. Why the hell did I buy a laminator? I think I’ve laminated two things at most. they’re pointless in my life. |
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"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! ..
Sounds like you need someone to do it for you, while you relax with a glass of fizz or an ice cold cocktail.
Ooooo.. Wait... So what you are saying is that i need a butler!! Omg
Shouldn’t every lady have a butler?"
Only those who recognise the value of said Butler but yes! Please! |
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"Oh nooo thats disappointing, has it been set up right with the ventilation ect?
Fuck knows i spent feckin' hours in front of it on my knees pandering to its every need.. Fuck that shit, back to the central heating for me! ..
Sounds like you need someone to do it for you, while you relax with a glass of fizz or an ice cold cocktail.
Ooooo.. Wait... So what you are saying is that i need a butler!! Omg
Shouldn’t every lady have a butler?
Only those who recognise the value of said Butler but yes! Please! "
DC ,
I expected you to have one already!
That said, if I recall my ‘Mrs Beaton’s household management’ it is the job of the scullery maid to set the fires in the morning. |
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By *usie pTV/TS
over a year ago
taunton |
Aah you have the same problem as my wife she has no idea how to get a good fire going lol, but seriously using a log burner effectively is a skill that has to be learnt, wood needs to be cut and stacked at least a year in advance then the logs for burning next winter need to got inside a shed now so they will get dry all through the summer and vastly reduce the moisture content, its quite a bit of work if you are used to just flicking a switch or using an app on your phone to turn the heating on and does create some mess. |
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"Aah you have the same problem as my wife she has no idea how to get a good fire going lol, but seriously using a log burner effectively is a skill that has to be learnt, wood needs to be cut and stacked at least a year in advance then the logs for burning next winter need to got inside a shed now so they will get dry all through the summer and vastly reduce the moisture content, its quite a bit of work if you are used to just flicking a switch or using an app on your phone to turn the heating on and does create some mess. "
There is a great book called ‘Norwegian Wood’ which covers the the whole process.
And stop sniggering at the back, it is not about a Viking with a hard on! |
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