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Mental health & emotional wellbeing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A bit more of a serious subject. With social media and networks (at its heart this is just a specialist social network) I’m intrigued to know how people on Fab find the interactions you have on here either help or or negatively impact your emotional well-being or mental health? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword… |
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I have been through some ups and downs on FAB.
During the downs I found Fab actually helped. Plenty of advice available during some particular tough times and lots of laughs as well.
And then the meets acted as a real pick me up.
I love the place. Wouldn’t hang around somewhere that caused negativity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab is not for the thin skinned.
However, I do think 'mental wellbeing' is being overused and often just a excuse nowadays to the detriment of people with genuine MH issues. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fab is not for the thin skinned.
However, I do think 'mental wellbeing' is being overused and often just a excuse nowadays to the detriment of people with genuine MH issues. "
I agree the use of mental health etc sometimes blurs the lines but also think it’s important people look after their emotional well-being early on. A lot of genuine Mental health issues I think you refer to would have started small and maybe seen as insignificant and the en snowballed. So agree there is some overuse but at the same time making people more aware of looking after it before it becomes bigger. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…"
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens. |
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It’s a free site and anyone can join to cause mischief, if they are inclined to do that sort of thing. So it’s a good thing to remember that, especially when you get those idiots or bigots sending nasty messages or causing offence on the forums.
I occasionally take time away, hide my profile and disappear. I can honestly say I don’t get too much hassle on this site and the few occasions I laughed them off. But I do sympathies with anyone who’s mental health is affected by negativity expressed by others here on this site.
Just like they say with gambling, it should be fun when it’s not fun, stop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After having a particularly rough week of 4 messages all abusing me because of my weight because I wasn't interested which did cause panic attacks. I hid my profile, took some time away and came back when I was ready. I find it useful just to hide sometimes... A few days or a week. Just gives some breathing space. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After having a particularly rough week of 4 messages all abusing me because of my weight because I wasn't interested which did cause panic attacks. I hid my profile, took some time away and came back when I was ready. I find it useful just to hide sometimes... A few days or a week. Just gives some breathing space. "
That’s just horrible, and I hear this a lot of women getting abuse about their looks or personality by the very people who approached them in the first place. Makes you think that they obviously find physical attraction in you but act like absolute idiots when they get rejected. And they probably never get the same back from women.
The way I see it is if someone isn’t interested that’s their choice, we all have our preferences just as I do. But sorry to hear you get such unwarranted and unacceptable abuse from entitled idiots |
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I've made some remarkable friends on here who help more than I can convey. I've also had unfortunate and hairy experiences (I mean risky not unshaven).
I think it can perpetuate negative mental health issues, and may exacerbate certain forms of groupthink. Proceed with caution. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think people tend to confuse mental health problems on here sometimes. When this place effects your self esteem or confidence, it can be detrimental to a person but it's not mental health. If anyone is suffering from a mental health condition, it can either be a help or a hindrance. Some people can use it as a distraction, a place to chat and a light relief which is a good thing. But if it makes you feel a certain way and your not in the right place to cope with certain things, I'd advise people to log out for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After having a particularly rough week of 4 messages all abusing me because of my weight because I wasn't interested which did cause panic attacks. I hid my profile, took some time away and came back when I was ready. I find it useful just to hide sometimes... A few days or a week. Just gives some breathing space.
That’s just horrible, and I hear this a lot of women getting abuse about their looks or personality by the very people who approached them in the first place. Makes you think that they obviously find physical attraction in you but act like absolute idiots when they get rejected. And they probably never get the same back from women.
The way I see it is if someone isn’t interested that’s their choice, we all have our preferences just as I do. But sorry to hear you get such unwarranted and unacceptable abuse from entitled idiots"
Sadly, I don't think physical attraction comes into sometimes... Some believe that ladies of a curvier nature should be grateful of the interest which is why they then kick off when we're not interested.
If only more thought like you, it would make Fab a much better place. |
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"I think people tend to confuse mental health problems on here sometimes. When this place effects your self esteem or confidence, it can be detrimental to a person but it's not mental health. If anyone is suffering from a mental health condition, it can either be a help or a hindrance. Some people can use it as a distraction, a place to chat and a light relief which is a good thing. But if it makes you feel a certain way and your not in the right place to cope with certain things, I'd advise people to log out for a while. "
Out of curiosity, why do you not think that low self confidence and self esteem is not mental health? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After having a particularly rough week of 4 messages all abusing me because of my weight because I wasn't interested which did cause panic attacks. I hid my profile, took some time away and came back when I was ready. I find it useful just to hide sometimes... A few days or a week. Just gives some breathing space.
That’s just horrible, and I hear this a lot of women getting abuse about their looks or personality by the very people who approached them in the first place. Makes you think that they obviously find physical attraction in you but act like absolute idiots when they get rejected. And they probably never get the same back from women.
The way I see it is if someone isn’t interested that’s their choice, we all have our preferences just as I do. But sorry to hear you get such unwarranted and unacceptable abuse from entitled idiots
Sadly, I don't think physical attraction comes into sometimes... Some believe that ladies of a curvier nature should be grateful of the interest which is why they then kick off when we're not interested.
If only more thought like you, it would make Fab a much better place. "
Unfortunately I think you’re right. There’s a lot of guys who have a sense of entitlement especially with women of a curvier nature, which is just so wrong. And that mentality tarnishes everyone else too. As an Indian guy I get tarnished with the unfortunate experiences that women have had with another Indian guys, and in the same way the behaviour of some of the guys on here tarnishes the trust and the expectation of verbal abuse women may have about guys approaching or messaging on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A bit more of a serious subject. With social media and networks (at its heart this is just a specialist social network) I’m intrigued to know how people on Fab find the interactions you have on here either help or or negatively impact your emotional well-being or mental health?"
Nice post. This area above all is so overlooked in general and otherwise.
We all affect ourselves and others via words,looks,and all action on here and the wider world.
Then we point fingers and assume why things are so unbalanced ,dysfunctional and wierd and wrong.
Most stems from childhood/adulthood/relationship, Trauma,bullying discrimination,alienation of others, and much more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people tend to confuse mental health problems on here sometimes. When this place effects your self esteem or confidence, it can be detrimental to a person but it's not mental health. If anyone is suffering from a mental health condition, it can either be a help or a hindrance. Some people can use it as a distraction, a place to chat and a light relief which is a good thing. But if it makes you feel a certain way and your not in the right place to cope with certain things, I'd advise people to log out for a while.
Out of curiosity, why do you not think that low self confidence and self esteem is not mental health?"
Like I said, it has an effect on you as a person but it's not a mental health condition. It can lead you to certain issues but that in itself is not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been through some ups and downs on FAB.
During the downs I found Fab actually helped. Plenty of advice available during some particular tough times and lots of laughs as well.
And then the meets acted as a real pick me up.
I love the place. Wouldn’t hang around somewhere that caused negativity. "
A success story.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is not for the thin skinned.
However, I do think 'mental wellbeing' is being overused and often just a excuse nowadays to the detriment of people with genuine MH issues. "
Deff not for the thin skinned!'
Sure like in everything in society. There are the abusers whom hide behind many masks.
MH is not just the term used. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens."
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens.
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
"
That’s an interesting slant on that thread.
I saw a liar and a fake getting caught and called out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens.
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
That’s an interesting slant on that thread.
I saw a liar and a fake getting caught and called out"
Yeah you did.
He has adjusted his profile and made ammends.
So the race and colour issue still stands and will follow him around on here!
Maybe he may take other actions to make himself more appealing to the wider crowd on here and thier prefrences! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens.
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
That’s an interesting slant on that thread.
I saw a liar and a fake getting caught and called out"
Then it should be reported and dealt with by admin, people don't need to descend to pack mentality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it's easy to dismiss words on a screen and not see the person behind those words
My mantra now is; you cannot control what people do or say but you can control your reaction to it. Take care of yourself first and foremose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens.
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
That’s an interesting slant on that thread.
I saw a liar and a fake getting caught and called out
Then it should be reported and dealt with by admin, people don't need to descend to pack mentality"
Easier said than done.
It is on here,for sure a melting pot..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens.
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
That’s an interesting slant on that thread.
I saw a liar and a fake getting caught and called out
Then it should be reported and dealt with by admin, people don't need to descend to pack mentality
Easier said than done.
It is on here,for sure a melting pot..
"
Oh I know, too many pack followers not enough free thinkers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's easy to dismiss words on a screen and not see the person behind those words
My mantra now is; you cannot control what people do or say but you can control your reaction to it. Take care of yourself first and foremose"
Yes good mindset.
People or most only do unto you,what you allow them to do.
People are always testing others to see what thay can get away with.
A totall piss take world now.
Yet when caught in the act. They play the victim role and cry game.
Thats why we have mistrust and no respect nor regard at large in this world we live in atm.
We all need help. Our hearts are totten and ill.
Yet we polish the outside of ourselves to look wow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are 2 aspects:
Talking helps so those who are nervous / have few social interactions will benefit from online chatting and maybe meeting.
However, people who are arseholes risk that and can plummet people into spirals of despair. People say things online they’d never say to someone’s face and I have seen plenty of people who have come a cropper from a wanker online saying crap.
Double-edged sword…
Makes sense. And can see from user statuses quite regularly that people are obviously causing distress to others, from behind the safety of their screens.
Yes very true. When we come across that, how do we go about it all?
Mostly join the bandwagon and look cool and hip. Or its his/her problem let them deal with it.
Many forms are being Dumbed down on here, when the numbers join togther and force it out and aside.
A very profound forum posted yesterday by a young chap asking why he felt not inclusive nor viewed as appealing because of his race and skin colour. Many rushed to heckle him his profile and shoved him aside saying its preferences.
That’s an interesting slant on that thread.
I saw a liar and a fake getting caught and called out
Then it should be reported and dealt with by admin, people don't need to descend to pack mentality
Easier said than done.
It is on here,for sure a melting pot..
Oh I know, too many pack followers not enough free thinkers "
Yes.
What are they following?
I read a forum post yesterday about silence.
Can we be alone atimes? . Can we be free thinkers?
I think hate' greed' aggresion,opperesion and much more stems from jealousy. Fear,the unknown lets over power them,before they overpower us. So create a problem rarepy fix it. Then create alies to cause more desruction then make the masses pay to fix what you and some destroyed knowingly but wont admit it.
Its Sycopathic..
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I think it's easy to dismiss words on a screen and not see the person behind those words
My mantra now is; you cannot control what people do or say but you can control your reaction to it. Take care of yourself first and foremose"
This. 
Difficult as it may be at times, if you don't give the words typed by a complete stranger that you have no connection with, nor ever plan on having a 1-2-1 conversation with, any value at all, or consider them important, relevant or accurate........then they mean nothing.
It's just words written in internet ink on internet paper that you can ignore and not allow to affect you. Let them go over your head. Don't feel impacted by them. Think of them as the incoherent, irrelevant ramblings of someone you couldn't give a shit about.
If you only allow the actions and words of those who you care about and whose opinions and thoughts you value.....then everything else is just background noise and tumbles blowing down the road of life.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After having a particularly rough week of 4 messages all abusing me because of my weight because I wasn't interested which did cause panic attacks. I hid my profile, took some time away and came back when I was ready. I find it useful just to hide sometimes... A few days or a week. Just gives some breathing space.
That’s just horrible, and I hear this a lot of women getting abuse about their looks or personality by the very people who approached them in the first place. Makes you think that they obviously find physical attraction in you but act like absolute idiots when they get rejected. And they probably never get the same back from women.
The way I see it is if someone isn’t interested that’s their choice, we all have our preferences just as I do. But sorry to hear you get such unwarranted and unacceptable abuse from entitled idiots
Sadly, I don't think physical attraction comes into sometimes... Some believe that ladies of a curvier nature should be grateful of the interest which is why they then kick off when we're not interested.
If only more thought like you, it would make Fab a much better place.
Unfortunately I think you’re right. There’s a lot of guys who have a sense of entitlement especially with women of a curvier nature, which is just so wrong. And that mentality tarnishes everyone else too. As an Indian guy I get tarnished with the unfortunate experiences that women have had with another Indian guys, and in the same way the behaviour of some of the guys on here tarnishes the trust and the expectation of verbal abuse women may have about guys approaching or messaging on here"
You are you not remote controled. At free will to do good and bad.
How does you being " Indian/indianess " have anything to do with you as a person.?
But your major exposure has been in the Uk and in Europe!!
So your behaviour and practises would come from your surroundings that you grow up with daily here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As soon as I put my phone down anything that’s been said on fab is forgotten.
Other social media can be hard to forget because most people on there are people I know in real life. My opinion is a private life is a happy life so I limit what I post on social media and that has worked well for me. |
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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"A bit more of a serious subject. With social media and networks (at its heart this is just a specialist social network) I’m intrigued to know how people on Fab find the interactions you have on here either help or or negatively impact your emotional well-being or mental health?"
Think a lack of replies, winks or messages can affect your self-esteem and make you feel a bit low.
Talking and interacting on the forums more helped me enjoy this site a lot more, so I'd suggest focussing on forums more too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm mental heath ambassador at work
Anyone suffering please feel free to message me"
People at large always check out if people are who they say they are. Are they Qualified enough in any area of subject in question.
Do be safe and secure esp shareing Mental health issues online,over text or messages.
Only open up to whom you trust face to face and they are qualified professionals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm mental heath ambassador at work
Anyone suffering please feel free to message me
People at large always check out if people are who they say they are. Are they Qualified enough in any area of subject in question.
Do be safe and secure esp shareing Mental health issues online,over text or messages.
Only open up to whom you trust face to face and they are qualified professionals. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm mental heath ambassador at work
Anyone suffering please feel free to message me
People at large always check out if people are who they say they are. Are they Qualified enough in any area of subject in question.
Do be safe and secure esp shareing Mental health issues online,over text or messages.
Only open up to whom you trust face to face and they are qualified professionals.
"
thank you. |
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