FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I fooling myself?
Am I fooling myself?
Jump to: Newest in thread
I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?"
I’m sorry things are feeling tough for you, you sound quite lonely x
What is it you think you might be fooling yourself about? That wasn’t very clear to me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
I’m sorry things are feeling tough for you, you sound quite lonely x
What is it you think you might be fooling yourself about? That wasn’t very clear to me "
I can't help but think things, do I really think that people would want to get to know me or be my friend? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?"
You're certainly not alone, OP. The lockdowns were tough on everyone in different ways.
You should ease yourself back into socialising more, starting with just meeting your friends more if possible. I know a lot of people who are only just starting to venture out more since lockdown was lifted last year |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Think outside the box ...go to other sorts of clubs ...comedy club folk are usually a friendly bunch "
In Leeds there is a board games club where solo people are welcome and it's a good way of making friends. Maybe there is something similar where you are ? Or join something like a group of community gardening volunteers ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
You're certainly not alone, OP. The lockdowns were tough on everyone in different ways.
You should ease yourself back into socialising more, starting with just meeting your friends more if possible. I know a lot of people who are only just starting to venture out more since lockdown was lifted last year "
I wish I could socialise more but my confidence is not what it used to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve started going to my local bar for a couple of hours a few nights a week, get my face seen, say hello. Take it from there.
People are obsessed with instant connections when they’re organic and not always instant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
You're certainly not alone, OP. The lockdowns were tough on everyone in different ways.
You should ease yourself back into socialising more, starting with just meeting your friends more if possible. I know a lot of people who are only just starting to venture out more since lockdown was lifted last year
I wish I could socialise more but my confidence is not what it used to be."
It might take some time, but you will get there . Nothing to be afraid of, at the end of the day. Try organising a wee catch up with some of your mates, or just one or two if more would be overwhelming. Then just keep building from there |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
I’m sorry things are feeling tough for you, you sound quite lonely x
What is it you think you might be fooling yourself about? That wasn’t very clear to me
I can't help but think things, do I really think that people would want to get to know me or be my friend?"
Ah ok, I see. I’m an over thinker, I feel your pain. I’m sure the things you’re thinking aren’t the case at all, but I also know that telling you that won’t help how you’re feeling x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
I’m sorry things are feeling tough for you, you sound quite lonely x
What is it you think you might be fooling yourself about? That wasn’t very clear to me
I can't help but think things, do I really think that people would want to get to know me or be my friend?
Ah ok, I see. I’m an over thinker, I feel your pain. I’m sure the things you’re thinking aren’t the case at all, but I also know that telling you that won’t help how you’re feeling x"
Sometimes, I can't help but think like something doesn't want me to have friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Get yourself out and about buddy even if its just for an hour a day going for a walk in the sun am an overthinker myself and eventually it will all work its self out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
I’m sorry things are feeling tough for you, you sound quite lonely x
What is it you think you might be fooling yourself about? That wasn’t very clear to me
I can't help but think things, do I really think that people would want to get to know me or be my friend?
Ah ok, I see. I’m an over thinker, I feel your pain. I’m sure the things you’re thinking aren’t the case at all, but I also know that telling you that won’t help how you’re feeling x
Sometimes, I can't help but think like something doesn't want me to have friends."
That sounds to me as though you feel almost like you don’t have any power over the situation? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
You're certainly not alone, OP. The lockdowns were tough on everyone in different ways.
You should ease yourself back into socialising more, starting with just meeting your friends more if possible. I know a lot of people who are only just starting to venture out more since lockdown was lifted last year
I wish I could socialise more but my confidence is not what it used to be.
It might take some time, but you will get there . Nothing to be afraid of, at the end of the day. Try organising a wee catch up with some of your mates, or just one or two if more would be overwhelming. Then just keep building from there"
I did try to organise a catch up with a friend months back but she said she would only meet me at Cupids. While my other friend, who I've caught up with socially last Christmas, settled down, I don't think I have any other friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Sorry you're feeling like this op
I think things have changed for many after COVID,could you look at volunteering maybe.ot might help take your mind off things and help you meet some new people.
There's also an app called meetup full of groups for socialising and hobbies
Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
I’m sorry things are feeling tough for you, you sound quite lonely x
What is it you think you might be fooling yourself about? That wasn’t very clear to me
I can't help but think things, do I really think that people would want to get to know me or be my friend?
Ah ok, I see. I’m an over thinker, I feel your pain. I’m sure the things you’re thinking aren’t the case at all, but I also know that telling you that won’t help how you’re feeling x
Sometimes, I can't help but think like something doesn't want me to have friends.
That sounds to me as though you feel almost like you don’t have any power over the situation? "
That sounds about right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
You're certainly not alone, OP. The lockdowns were tough on everyone in different ways.
You should ease yourself back into socialising more, starting with just meeting your friends more if possible. I know a lot of people who are only just starting to venture out more since lockdown was lifted last year
I wish I could socialise more but my confidence is not what it used to be.
It might take some time, but you will get there . Nothing to be afraid of, at the end of the day. Try organising a wee catch up with some of your mates, or just one or two if more would be overwhelming. Then just keep building from there
I did try to organise a catch up with a friend months back but she said she would only meet me at Cupids. While my other friend, who I've caught up with socially last Christmas, settled down, I don't think I have any other friends."
Do you know any couples on here who you could go to Cupid's with? Would be a good chance to get introduced to lots of new people, without the anxiety of being there yourself.
Are there any fab social groups in your area? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know I shouldn't doubt myself but I can't help but think like everything has changed after the lockdowns and not for the better.
I hardly see my friends, my confidence doesn't feel like what it used to be and I feel like I've made no progress in meeting new people.
Despite enjoying myself at Cupids now and again (usually the atmosphere), I don't think I've gotten anywhere in making new friends. I would say hello to a few people but after that nothing. I would see everyone with their friends while I'm there by myself. I would be too afraid to join in on conversations out of fear of being rude.
I shouldn't focus on the negatives but I can't help but think, am I just fooling myself?
You're certainly not alone, OP. The lockdowns were tough on everyone in different ways.
You should ease yourself back into socialising more, starting with just meeting your friends more if possible. I know a lot of people who are only just starting to venture out more since lockdown was lifted last year
I wish I could socialise more but my confidence is not what it used to be.
It might take some time, but you will get there . Nothing to be afraid of, at the end of the day. Try organising a wee catch up with some of your mates, or just one or two if more would be overwhelming. Then just keep building from there
I did try to organise a catch up with a friend months back but she said she would only meet me at Cupids. While my other friend, who I've caught up with socially last Christmas, settled down, I don't think I have any other friends.
Do you know any couples on here who you could go to Cupid's with? Would be a good chance to get introduced to lots of new people, without the anxiety of being there yourself.
Are there any fab social groups in your area?"
I wish I knew |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm sorry for feeling down but I can't help but think that maybe I am just fooling myself and should just stop trying to make new friends.
I thought I was over social anxieties but I guess I'm not and don't think I ever will be.
I was gonna go to a club next week but I don't think I'll go now as I feel my confidence is gone.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm sorry for feeling down but I can't help but think that maybe I am just fooling myself and should just stop trying to make new friends.
I thought I was over social anxieties but I guess I'm not and don't think I ever will be.
I was gonna go to a club next week but I don't think I'll go now as I feel my confidence is gone. "
Have you heard of meetup? It a friendship site. Groups of people in your area with similar interests. No other agenda than having fun and making new friends.
I joined when I moved 4 hours from my hometown and it was a god send.
It definitely took the stress out approaching new people for me x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm sorry for feeling down but I can't help but think that maybe I am just fooling myself and should just stop trying to make new friends.
I thought I was over social anxieties but I guess I'm not and don't think I ever will be.
I was gonna go to a club next week but I don't think I'll go now as I feel my confidence is gone.
Have you heard of meetup? It a friendship site. Groups of people in your area with similar interests. No other agenda than having fun and making new friends.
I joined when I moved 4 hours from my hometown and it was a god send.
It definitely took the stress out approaching new people for me x
"
I've had a look and it looks like it charges |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic