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Justification(s) for dumping a lover.
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"Your work mates don't half sound like pricks from the stories you tell about them. " I was just about to say the same thing  | |||
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"6 months....very gracious of you" So generous | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " A life time wouldn't shift the judgemental attitude in this post  | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing. " Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it | |||
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"There must be at least 50 ways to do this...." Just jump in a lake, Blake | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing. Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it "Guilty feeder here.  | |||
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wow.
P. | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing. Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it "Exactly! I'm my skinniest when I'm single. Men seem to eat larger portions...or at least the men I've known. | |||
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"I want to work where he works for the conversations..... "…and getting paid for talking all this shite!  | |||
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"I want to work where he works for the conversations.....
…and getting paid for talking all this shite! "...not thought of that  | |||
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"I want to work where he works for the conversations.....
…and getting paid for talking all this shite! "It's what we talk about... And many other things. | |||
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"There must be at least 50 ways to do this...." | |||
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Could he have not gone on regular long walks with her and had epic long sex sessions to see if that helped and not been a prick about it? | |||
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"If someone said to me I'll give you six months to lose your builders belly, I'd bounce them out the door with the belly " | |||
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"Genuinely curious what OP does for work "I'm a builders social consultant. Just kidding. | |||
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"He sounds like a really top guy
Could he have not gone on regular long walks with her and had epic long sex sessions to see if that helped and not been a prick about it? "Exactly! Both work on it. She can loose it. If she wants. | |||
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"Genuinely curious what OP does for work "................................. Tory Party Central Office | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " Seriously do you get any work done ? Between fighting and gossiping your workmates sound like right pricks .. | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " I really wanted to comment by my menopause mood muzzle won’t allow me… I will say in six months I’d have ditched the average male body weight… YOU.. with an ultimatum like that. Be thankful for the muzzle I could have been worse  | |||
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"I want to work where he works for the conversations.....
…and getting paid for talking all this shite!
It's what we talk about... And many other things. "Probably why my Hermes parcels are always late | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " 'one of' so he has spares then? | |||
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"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?" I picked up on that as well. | |||
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"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change " I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then. | |||
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"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then." Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution | |||
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"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then. Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution " I doubt there is anybody out there who has gained weight without realising it, nobody needs it pointing out to them | |||
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"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then. Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution I doubt there is anybody out there who has gained weight without realising it, nobody needs it pointing out to them" I’d disagree. Plenty of people join the gym because they didn’t realise they slowly put on 20lbs over 3 years But that’s not the question in hand. Execution is key. If a girl told me she loved it when I had a 6 pack I wouldn’t consider that an “ultimatum” and leave her. I’d take that as a challenge to be by best self for my partner Execution and perspective are everything | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. 'one of' so he has spares then? " Of course he has spares. He's a modern man. | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. 'one of' so he has spares then? Of course he has spares. He's a modern man. " Do they know about the others? If he has so many I wonder why he's bothering to give her a chance. Maybe she sucks cock the best. | |||
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"Genuinely curious what OP does for work
.................................
Tory Party Central Office"Meal planner for weight watchers? | |||
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"Genuinely curious what OP does for work
.................................
Tory Party Central Office
Meal planner for weight watchers? " | |||
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"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?" Omg seen it all now. You do remember what website this is? I know most think it is a dating app, but the name? | |||
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"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?" Enough to pick and choose which to keep and discard the shabby ones evidently | |||
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"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then. Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution I doubt there is anybody out there who has gained weight without realising it, nobody needs it pointing out to them I’d disagree. Plenty of people join the gym because they didn’t realise they slowly put on 20lbs over 3 years But that’s not the question in hand. Execution is key. If a girl told me she loved it when I had a 6 pack I wouldn’t consider that an “ultimatum” and leave her. I’d take that as a challenge to be by best self for my partner Execution and perspective are everything " Could you get one in 6 months, assuming you'd let yourself go and had a beer belly? | |||
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"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?I picked up on that as well. " The farce is strong in this one! | |||
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"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have? Enough to pick and choose which to keep and discard the shabby ones evidently "I'm so glad my buddies aren't bothered I've got really fat I need 6 years to lose the weight I've put on in the last 12 years. | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing. And she's getting rid of a bellend so win win. " Exactly this | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? " It's a tough question. But true. | |||
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"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off? " Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months? | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? " Realistically though most folk don't end up 600lbs though. It's more likely to be a few stone or more, at which point of course peoples bodies look different. But they'll still be able to get around unassisted. Massive weight gain is usually due to something underlying anyways,from medication to depression. Somebody would have to be a right knobhead to bin someone off after years together if they gained weight due to something they couldn't control | |||
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"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off? Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months? "I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!? | |||
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"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off? Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?
I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?"You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours? Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance? | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? " When I put on 9 stone very quickly my ex said it came with a bonus. Huge tits. He also said no one would want me now I was fat. | |||
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"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off? Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?
I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?
You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?
Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance? "I said if I was in his shoes I'd give her 6 months. If I was in his dilemma. | |||
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"I can't wait for your next thread. Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it." I think if there’s a chance of it winding people up then he’ll do it  | |||
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"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off? Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?
I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?
You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?
Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance?
I said if I was in his shoes I'd give her 6 months. If I was in his dilemma. "My apologies. I thought it was just your friend who was the c***. I stand corrected. | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " I'd give q guy about 6seconds to leave if they said anything like that to me. It would be no loss on my part | |||
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"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off? Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?
I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?
You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?
Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance?
I said if I was in his shoes I'd give her 6 months. If I was in his dilemma.
My apologies. I thought it was just your friend who was the c***. I stand corrected. "Hey go easy there. I do have feelings you know. | |||
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"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then. Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution " Agreed | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? " Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. | |||
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"I smell bullshit " I was thinking the same thing Ask me again in six months though  | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they would leave me, I would instantly lose a few unwanted stones by telling them to do one! " Bosch!!!! | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. " I'm thinking they'd be offed. | |||
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"Clickbait! Round of applause for the, op." How do you know that? | |||
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"I can't wait for your next thread. Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it." He could get a wig..... as long as she ain't into pulling hair | |||
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"I can't wait for your next thread. Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it. He could get a wig..... as long as she ain't into pulling hair "Hair plugs. | |||
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"Quickest way to lose weight is to drop the arsehole who's trying to make me lose it. " x | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they would leave me, I would instantly lose a few unwanted stones by telling them to do one! Bosch!!!!" Keep away from Make-eta | |||
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"Clickbait! Round of applause for the, op. How do you know that?" You seriously believing a word of it? | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. " In this instance i’m referring solely to self Inflicted damage over a protracted period - rather than something unforeseen or over which there is no control. Akin to alcoholism or long term substance abuse. Not the misfortune of an accident of otherwise ill health. | |||
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"Clickbait! Round of applause for the, op. How do you know that? You seriously believing a word of it?" Yes as I have reason to believe its not true. | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing. And she's getting rid of a bellend so win win. " | |||
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"I really want to comment as honestly and as bluntly as I can to you, but you are not worth the forums ban. "I’m hi5 this | |||
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"Preferences are frowned upon here, OP " | |||
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"Preferences are frowned upon here, OP "Ooooh I'm not getting dragged into this. Staying neutral. Just like Sweden and Finland. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. " Honestly do you really think they mean that? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. " Yes because love runs deeper than surface level | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level " Food before men. Always. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level " If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. " ................................. I don't think issuing ultimatums is the way to go about it | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. " ................................. It's interesting to see how many men, given the chance to accept their partner's for who they are or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. " And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. | |||
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"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. " I was just thinking the same thing | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. " Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. ................................. I don't think issuing ultimatums is the way to go about it " I think 'ultimatum' really isn't the appropriate word. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? " No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. " I wasn’t specifically talking about any ultimatum Is that the issue? If there wasn’t the “6 month or in gone” would it still be relationship ending? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? " I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. " I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are? 'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves" Oh, and losing weight is absolutely not comparable to changing your clothes or cutting your hair, it’s bloody hard work and often has all sorts of emotional and psychological ties involved that make it really hard to do | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are? 'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. "  | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves" I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are? 'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. " I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight) | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are? 'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight)" This girl drove to weight watchers when it was walking distance and she lived on chocolate and spam. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are? 'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight) This girl drove to weight watchers when it was walking distance and she lived on chocolate and spam. " Is she still single? I'll marry her. | |||
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"Clickbait! Round of applause for the, op. How do you know that? You seriously believing a word of it?" I don’t the green arrow plus his last accounts puts my bullshit meter on high alert .. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear. You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are? 'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight) This girl drove to weight watchers when it was walking distance and she lived on chocolate and spam. Is she still single? I'll marry her. " You're welcome to her. Anyway last I knew she was straight. To be honest she wasn't bad looking just needed to sort herself out. In the nicest way. | |||
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"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing. Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it
Guilty feeder here. "One more takeaway won't hurt  | |||
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"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)" So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own " Imagine you're dressed in your favourite shirt and your partner says, I don't like that shirt, wear the blue one instead.... Would you still change? | |||
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"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it) So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally? " I can’t say I have, no | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level " there are plenty of men who like fat ladies | |||
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"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it) So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally? I can’t say I have, no " What you've NEVER EVER dumped someone before? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own " ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! | |||
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"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it) So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally? I can’t say I have, no What you've NEVER EVER dumped someone before? " No I haven’t, why’s that so surprising? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!" Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? " .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice." Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice. Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. " So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice. Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. " .................................. Odd, so "give her 6 months" isn't an ultimatum? | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " What sort of work do you do? | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. What sort of work do you do? " Diplomacy. | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. What sort of work do you do? " Other than him trolling the Fab forums you mean? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice. Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to?" Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. | |||
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"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it) So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally? I can’t say I have, no What you've NEVER EVER dumped someone before? " I've never dumped someone either. | |||
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" Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. " "Would come home to food from the freezer"
Had she forgotten to fix her hair, put her makeup on and get his slippers warmed by the fire?
*Checks calendar*  | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request " I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request " What if they're not partners though and just shaggers. Would the protocol be different then? | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice. Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to? Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. " ................................. You're right, it's not rocket science, he made a choice based on his needs, which he's perfectly entitled to do, as opposed to compelling someone to change to satisfy them. | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection " ................................. spot on | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. What sort of work do you do? Other than him trolling the Fab forums you mean? "Just trying to imagine the workplace .. | |||
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"Your work mates don't half sound like pricks from the stories you tell about them. " This | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection " But there's no 'ultimatum, request, interrogation, or anything of the sort. You're twisting my words. It's implied explicitly in a roundabout way. | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection ................................. spot on"That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good. I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that. | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection But there's no 'ultimatum, request, interrogation, or anything of the sort. You're twisting my words. It's implied explicitly in a roundabout way. " “Implied explicitly in a roundabout way”? What tosh that statement is | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection ................................. spot on
That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.
I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that. "Nobody’s shaming anybody for that, stop trying to gaslight! | |||
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"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. Yes because love runs deeper than surface level If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not. If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive? I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me To each their own ................................. You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue! Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? .................................. I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice. Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to? Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. " Freezer food! He should have had her arrested!..You don’t half know a lot of people .. | |||
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"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. " You’re as bad as he is for posting it in the forum!! Have a bit more respect man | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection ................................. spot on
That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.
I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that.
Nobody’s shaming anybody for that, stop trying to gaslight!"People have literally said he’s a bellend, he’s dead weight, what part of that isn’t shaming? | |||
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"The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie. " Your deleted post was clear that it was you that gave the ultimatum not your mate. At least be honest about it. | |||
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"The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie. Your deleted post was clear that it was you that gave the ultimatum not your mate. At least be honest about it. " I had a spelling error, that's why I deleted it. But the writing was all still the same. | |||
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"The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie. Your deleted post was clear that it was you that gave the ultimatum not your mate. At least be honest about it. I had a spelling error, that's why I deleted it. But the writing was all still the same. " No. That's not true. | |||
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"It's pretty obvious from the later posts that it's the OP who either made this statement to a lover or has made it up with himself in mind. There's no friend involved, in our view." So you've never been dumped or dumped or known many people in similar situations? I think you need to get out of that cave you've lived in. | |||
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"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems? So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?” Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection ................................. spot on
That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.
I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that.
Nobody’s shaming anybody for that, stop trying to gaslight!
People have literally said he’s a bellend, he’s dead weight, what part of that isn’t shaming? "Perhaps an issue with the way I read your wording here, that was for asking her to change, not expressing a preference and then leaving, I dont think there’s any shame in the latter | |||
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" So you've never been dumped or dumped or known many people in similar situations? I think you need to get out of that cave you've lived in. " Hilarious. I've not been dumped since I was about 15. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones | |||
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