FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > colostomy bags
colostomy bags
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"This post actually offends me.
sorry "The ops i mean | |||
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" And i can safely say that if having a colostomy bag etc, you wouldnt BE SWINGING. 1. you would be too poorly. 2, embarrassing to those suffering. 3. its NOT joke to be having at the expense of others. " Speaking as someone with Crohn’s who came very close to needing (but thankfully avoided) a colostomy bag when I was in my mid 20’s… I can safely say I know a fair few folk with bags who are far from too poorly to enjoy recreational sex (not that any are folk I have sex with, but they do tell me about it) and not all are embarrassed (some have the attitude of “it’s your problem not mine”). If someone with a bag wants to ask about what people’s opinions are…. hey why not? I would however point out to anyone asking the question that you will only likely get replies from a limited number of people (forumites) and not to let any trend of reply be seen as ’law’. | |||
"I know it's all about live & let live but, honestly, if we were contacted by someone who said he/she wore a colostomy bag we'd very quickly a polite thanks, but no thanks response to them. I'm sure people with illnesses and ailments of all descriptions shouldn't be made to feel that they are not derserving of a healthy sex life but I think they need to keep it to themselves really." as someone who has a illness /ailment which affeccts my daily life to a varyin degree should i be removing myself from the swinging community then wishy ? | |||
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"I've waited a while before posting on this particular thread, but just feel I want to say this. There are members of just about every walk of life on this site, all colours, all creeds, all heights, all sizes, all ages, some who are perfectly healthy in mind and body and some who are not. We ALL have issues, whether they be about our age, size, colour, health - I challenge any one of you to swear you are happy with absolutely EVERYTHING about yourself. The point is this is a community, and we won't like everyone thats just not humanly possible, but we should have respect for EVERYONE no matter what. So no matter what your issues are with yourself or anyone else, just remember we are here fundamentally for fun, to make others smile, so make friends if someone is not your cup of tea, smile and walk on by, but always SMILE The world is a miserable enough place and shit happens so often outside of these forums - some of us enjoy being here because its a place of friendship and hugs - SO HUGS TO ALL xxx" hear hear...nice post Raz xxHUGSxx | |||
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"We were wondering are there any other people on the site with colostomy/ iliostomy bags.. and how do people on the site percieve them. Are they welcome or not welcome in the swinging community s and t xx" I do not have a colostomy, but I did have testicular cancer, and the treatment used to cure me was to have Bilateral Orchidectomies, in lay mans turms I had both my ball cut off. When my doctors told me that this was the only option open to me, I felt like a dog being taken to the vets, no amount of professional intervention helps prepare you for the physical changes to your body, when I came back to the ward and went to the loo, I looked down and wept. The physical, is just one of the many changes you have to get used to, psychologically you feel you are nolonger a man, the possibility of having children are gone, and there is the constant fear of rejection. Just because, you have lost your balls, does not mean you have lost your desire or need for sexual contact. I may have to have injections of testosterone every three months to keep me well, but the brain is a powerful organ, and I'm hornier than ever, and yes, I still cum in large quantities. I am honest and tell people up front about, not having really balls, I have a esticular prothesis which means I have a bionic bollock, that feels like a fake tit. Honesty, very really pays, as I give people plenty of time to have a think about things and they never call back. I'm supprised that people who claim to be so liberated, about sex, are so judgemental, and onesided, have a think about what its like to be the other person, just immagine if your sex life came to an end, how would you feel? I am just as good in bed as the next guy, it's the brain and personal connection that make for good sex, not the fact someone might have a bag or prosethic ball. | |||
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"We were wondering are there any other people on the site with colostomy/ iliostomy bags.. and how do people on the site percieve them. Are they welcome or not welcome in the swinging community s and t xx I do not have a colostomy, but I did have testicular cancer, and the treatment used to cure me was to have Bilateral Orchidectomies, in lay mans turms I had both my ball cut off. When my doctors told me that this was the only option open to me, I felt like a dog being taken to the vets, no amount of professional intervention helps prepare you for the physical changes to your body, when I came back to the ward and went to the loo, I looked down and wept. The physical, is just one of the many changes you have to get used to, psychologically you feel you are nolonger a man, the possibility of having children are gone, and there is the constant fear of rejection. Just because, you have lost your balls, does not mean you have lost your desire or need for sexual contact. I may have to have injections of testosterone every three months to keep me well, but the brain is a powerful organ, and I'm hornier than ever, and yes, I still cum in large quantities. I am honest and tell people up front about, not having really balls, I have a esticular prothesis which means I have a bionic bollock, that feels like a fake tit. Honesty, very really pays, as I give people plenty of time to have a think about things and they never call back. I'm supprised that people who claim to be so liberated, about sex, are so judgemental, and onesided, have a think about what its like to be the other person, just immagine if your sex life came to an end, how would you feel? I am just as good in bed as the next guy, it's the brain and personal connection that make for good sex, not the fact someone might have a bag or prosethic ball. " Our very first MFM was a man who only had one testicle......it makes no difference to the fun you can have, and indeed made no difference to us. | |||
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"This is a pretty emotive thread lol" it is , but its how we all learn, especially when people are courageous enough to share their own experiences. and none of us know when we might face illness/disability ourselves as the past year has shown me. xx | |||
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"People with disabilities should enjoy a good sex life just like anyone else, but think if they are swinging they ought to be upfront from the start, is that fair?" Totally...... | |||
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"People with disabilities should enjoy a good sex life just like anyone else, but think if they are swinging they ought to be upfront from the start, is that fair?" it can be a catch 22 ..i dont have my difficulties on my profile but i will tell people who are interested to meet. Would be embarassing and unfair not to, for both parties. I dont put it on my profile as i dont feel it defines me , especially as its often very hidden issue. like the guy above who shared his story ( sorry i cant remember your name ) most people who i tell then dont come back to me , which is a killer for confidence but not something i can avoid. luckily those who have met me seem to have enjoyed the experience ! xx | |||
"This is a pretty emotive thread lol it is , but its how we all learn, especially when people are courageous enough to share their own experiences. and none of us know when we might face illness/disability ourselves as the past year has shown me. xx " Very very true, none of us know what is just round the corner - changes in physical health don't always mean changes in needs, wants and desires. And a polite thanks but no thanks if they don't appeal because of whatever aspect is all thats needed xxx | |||
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"Why on earth would someone take offense at someone asking a serious question. Ive never seen anyone taking offense at any other questions regarding illnesses. Peaches you can have a colostomy bag without being to ill to play, there are various reasons why people have colostomy bags. Personally i dont think i would play with someone with a colostomy bag but i most certainly wouldnt take offense at them. What happened to humanity." i suppose im more sensitive than others as my sis has one and is terminal. therefore,... its a painful subject. thanks  | |||
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"Have played with a guy on this site who has a bag it caused no problems for either him or myself. Having a different type of illness/disability it takes all sort and no one should have to feel they cant swing if they want to." we hae also played with the same guy...and boy oh boy you couldn't fault his enthusiasm, it was however a bit of a shock as he didn't tell us before hand and we'd chatted for quite awhile before playing...ok in our opinion it is not something you need to disclose on your profile but you should have the good manners to at least tell potential playmates, and if they have got to know what sort of person you are it should not make a difference.. we have since met another guy (part of a couple) who had one temporarily after an operation... two sides of the coin..first guy's confidence overtook the issue of a bag where as the second guy was embarressed and very concience of it... in both cases we had great fun and have absolutely no problem with meeting or playing with anyone, m or f... with a bag but it is nice to be told and given the option. Take care XXH&A | |||
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"ok in our opinion it is not something you need to disclose on your profile but you should have the good manners to at least tell potential playmates " i do agree with this, its not something everyones going to be happy with so i think it is something that should be mentioned before a meet to stop you both being in an embarrassing situation. | |||
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"Sorry folks.... I know I (Martin) am probably going to get slated for this... perhaps rightly so, but...... I couldnt play with someone who had a bag, I think its the idea of that person being "ill" that would put me off. " but not everyone with a bag is ill, its like saying someone with one arm is ill, sometimes they just a side effect from an illness that has become better, like i have stated in my post above my freind has a colostomy bag as a result of having bowel cancer, she had her bowels removed and her anal passage sown up there for she had to use a bag, she made a full recovery from the cancer and is now in full pysical health, only she will always need the bag as she will never have any bowels, to me thats not ill, its just a side effect from getting better | |||
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Shona
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In other words we all have preferences and therefore have made judgmental decisions with regard to how we conduct our swinging lives.
It's no different to all of our vanilla lives as we all make choices based on like or dislike about virtually every thing we ever do.
The OP asked a question and at least one person has been vilified for giving an open and honest response based on ACTUAL EXPERIENCE and I for one think the criticism leveled at her post was totally uncalled for.
I have no personal experience of this medical condition although we have a very good friend who needs to use a colostomy bag.
I would not choose to have sex with someone who had one as it simply is something I do not fancy or feel comfy with. There does not have to be any logic applied to that decision, it's simply the choice that I make.
It's absolutely no different what so ever to young folk not wanting to play with older folk, slim folk not wanting to play with less slim folk, non smokers not wanting to play with smokers etc etc.
Swinging, just like life is all about personal choice and for someone to be openly criticised for making a choice is simply wrong.
I am the wrong side of 50 and Mrs Two has a while to. Whilst she is a fox I am not very tall, a bit over weight and I know and fully accept that there will be a huge swathe of the swinging community who will not want to play with me.
Perhaps a few others ought to have that sort of broader outlook on life and accept that for lots of people medical conditions will always make them feel uncomfortable, not ideal but somthing that needs getting over as opposed to feeling disenfranchised | |||
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"i bet that took u a long time to write that eh lol "not as long as it to you to write your reply tho  | |||
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"I dont believe the OP was wrong to ask the question in the same way I dont believe that Peaches was wrong to air her views. My point is that I do honestly believe that a few folk on here have a far more touchy feely outlike on life than what is reality. " i have to agree with moobs here | |||
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"moobs..........Dec 6th could well be your last day on this planet miss "This Planet??? Well... assumes she was on it to start with eh | |||
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"I wiil actually apologise for my comments. The op had a valid reason for airing her/his views and i would back that all the way. And my opinions really shouldnt have entered the equasion. As it was to close to home. But then im not the only person affected by this condition. My apologies to the OP. " still ur opion too and ur entitled to that too. dont worry its only a forum | |||
"I wiil actually apologise for my comments. The op had a valid reason for airing her/his views and i would back that all the way. And my opinions really shouldnt have entered the equasion. As it was to close to home. But then im not the only person affected by this condition. My apologies to the OP. " Well i think it takes a big person to apologise | |||
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"We were wondering are there any other people on the site with colostomy/ iliostomy bags.. and how do people on the site percieve them. Are they welcome or not welcome in the swinging community s and t xx" i had to have an emergency operation in 2001 for suspected appendicitus and woke up after surgery wearing a (temporary colostomy bag)i then spent the next 10 months totally freaked out by the sight of a stoma and i imagine it would have a similair effect on a lot of others too, but not all! so even tho i am sympathetic towards people who have a bag i also could fully understand another persons rejection towards it.i had succesful reverse operation and to be honest i would be put off meeting someone who wore a bag, thats just my personal choice | |||
"I replied to the last thread ref colostomy bags and i stick by what i say, i would have NO problem meeting someone with a bag,but then again i deal with it day in day out in my proffesion. But then again ignorance is bliss to some people, and perhaps they should read the subject and see what a colostomy bag is about - ( you dont see anything) and like i said before sexy lingerie can hide the bag as its only 5inches by 3 and close to the body, its not all tubes!!!!! and i would be very surprised if the non wearer would even notice. Personally i find bad breath and dandruff more offensive!!" i totally agree why shud this make a difference everyone has something wrong with then, be it physical, mental or just plain ignorance. live and let live disability or not | |||
"I replied to the last thread ref colostomy bags and i stick by what i say, i would have NO problem meeting someone with a bag,but then again i deal with it day in day out in my proffesion. But then again ignorance is bliss to some people, and perhaps they should read the subject and see what a colostomy bag is about - ( you dont see anything) and like i said before sexy lingerie can hide the bag as its only 5inches by 3 and close to the body, its not all tubes!!!!! and i would be very surprised if the non wearer would even notice. Personally i find bad breath and dandruff more offensive!! i totally agree why shud this make a difference everyone has something wrong with then, be it physical, mental or just plain ignorance. live and let live disability or not " And no doubt you also agree that we should all live and let live with regard to personal choice | |||
"I replied to the last thread ref colostomy bags and i stick by what i say, i would have NO problem meeting someone with a bag,but then again i deal with it day in day out in my proffesion. But then again ignorance is bliss to some people, and perhaps they should read the subject and see what a colostomy bag is about - ( you dont see anything) and like i said before sexy lingerie can hide the bag as its only 5inches by 3 and close to the body, its not all tubes!!!!! and i would be very surprised if the non wearer would even notice. Personally i find bad breath and dandruff more offensive!! i totally agree why shud this make a difference everyone has something wrong with then, be it physical, mental or just plain ignorance. live and let live disability or not And no doubt you also agree that we should all live and let live with regard to personal choice "yeah each person has the right to pick and choose no one if forced to meet anyone they dont want to. but just because someone is different doesnt mean they shud b treated that way | |||
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