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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
If you’ve not heard of these or taken the test, it’s a simple way of identifying how you express and recognise intimacy and love (both romantic and platonic).
Have you taken the test? If so, what are yours?
Do you think that yours can change? Does knowing others change yours or help to build intimacy if you understand others? Or are they fixed and if two people have disparate needs, it’s not going to work?
Thoughts folks… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it's not about changing my needs to meet the other person's love language, more than I'd change what I do/say to make sure I meet theirs. Hopefully they'd do the same  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think anyone can change theirs but relationships are all about compromise. If your partner needs you to express something in a certain way then it's important to make an effort to do this. Love languages are irrelevant without commuication and compatibility. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I don't think anyone can change theirs but relationships are all about compromise. If your partner needs you to express something in a certain way then it's important to make an effort to do this. Love languages are irrelevant without commuication and compatibility."
I agree.
It seems like an extra piece to the puzzle for me, it’s a part of effective communication. It’s not what you say but how you say it or show it |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Mine is quality time, then words of affirmation and physical touch equally. "
I’m pretty much the same. Those three are almost even for me.
Acts of service and gifts hold little relevance.
Do you feel that if someone was a gift giver, that wouldn’t work for you? |
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I think mine are practical.
I like to help. I'm no good at hugging but I am a good listener. I don't judge, just listen. My nephew once told his mum (who then told me and made me cry) that I just make people feel safe to be themselves around me. My niece definitely uses me to be able to express herself more when going shopping at the moment. She's just finding her own style and I just let her explore that. Quite often my sister will comment on how she comes home with bits and pieces she'd never even look at when they go shopping. I love that.
I will also help in physical ways. You need muscle to shift stuff? I'm there. You need a big lump to go with you to a scary place and make you feel safe, I'm there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine is quality time, then words of affirmation and physical touch equally.
I’m pretty much the same. Those three are almost even for me.
Acts of service and gifts hold little relevance.
Do you feel that if someone was a gift giver, that wouldn’t work for you? "
No, I bloody love presents  , as long as I get the other things first  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Mine is quality time, then words of affirmation and physical touch equally.
I’m pretty much the same. Those three are almost even for me.
Acts of service and gifts hold little relevance.
Do you feel that if someone was a gift giver, that wouldn’t work for you?
No, I bloody love presents , as long as I get the other things first "
That’s fair
I wouldn’t know what to do if someone gave me gifts |
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