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Ode to Kinkyinhants
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"Good work - hope it works "Well, if it doesn't: Oh Minxie oh Minxie....... | |||
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"Good work - hope it works "Minxie - I looked for you on top of Devils Dyke last night! No mad waving woman of West Sussex to be seen..... Oh well...... 
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"Good work - hope it works
Minxie - I looked for you on top of Devils Dyke last night! No mad waving woman of West Sussex to be seen..... Oh well......
"ohhhhhhh oooooops I fell asleep and forgot ............. and it would have been at gatwick anyway lol - sorry - am I forgiven  | |||
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"Hello All, During the mid to late 18th century, poets such as Wordsworth, Byron, Blake and Keats demonstrated that is was possible to woo ladies with poetry. I have failed miderably yo tempt the object of my affections - Kinkyinhants thus far so have decided to employ a new strategy. Like the great poets, I am not keeping my romanticism private. No, I am putting it all out there in the forums for all to see hoping that such a grand gesture will have the desired effect. If you see Kinky, please direct her this way and keep your fingers crossed for me that she weeps with joy and that her heat his melted. Oh Kinky Oh Kinky, I can't help but thinky That if I met you I would feel in the pinky. So splendind in your latex (It's not PVC) Would you dress so sexily just for me? Oh Kinky Oh Kinky, you're just down in Hants Where I'd rip of my shirt and pull down my pants Because that's the effect that you have on some folk Most notably in and around Basingstoke Oh Kinky Oh Kinky, you're so cool in the forum Your posts entice people and tend not to bore 'em And to get your attention, oh how I try But you move swiftly past without giving me the eye Oh Kinky Oh Kinky your profile says 'not meeting' But I'm struggling to sleep and really not eating How I perv at your profile, ogle your breasts Am I really considered one of those sex pests? Oh Kinky Oh Kinky this is that last verse As I write more lines and the feeling gets worse But to compose tis poem was an absolute must To convey this declaration of undying lust " Impressed by your efforts to express your undying affection to our Kinky, but I think Carol Ann Duffy can sleep easy in her bed tonight......  Lol!
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"Good work - hope it works
Minxie - I looked for you on top of Devils Dyke last night! No mad waving woman of West Sussex to be seen..... Oh well......
ohhhhhhh oooooops I fell asleep and forgot ............. and it would have been at gatwick anyway lol - sorry - am I forgiven "Oh...... as it's you
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"Impressed by your efforts to express your undying affection to our Kinky, but I think Carol Ann Duffy can sleep easy in her bed tonight...... Lol! "She can't - I'm stalking her too  | |||
"Impressed by your efforts to express your undying affection to our Kinky, but I think Carol Ann Duffy can sleep easy in her bed tonight...... Lol!
She can't - I'm stalking her too "
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Fabulous poem and definitely up there with the greats. I'm quite sure it will be studied in English lessons in a couple of hundred years time.
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"Good work - hope it works
Minxie - I looked for you on top of Devils Dyke last night! No mad waving woman of West Sussex to be seen..... Oh well......
ohhhhhhh oooooops I fell asleep and forgot ............. and it would have been at gatwick anyway lol - sorry - am I forgiven
Oh...... as it's you
"fank u - I didnt have to pull the I have been poorly routine either lol  | |||
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"Awwww are we all buying new hats and fascinators?? " That might be a little premature. Give the man time to get some therapy first! | |||
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"Oh Whacky, oh Whacky Have you been at that baccy? A poem a day for the next few days should do it. (I think you should send her the monogamy one too. Just in case she thinks you are expecting her to be exclusive.)" Exclusive? Me no unnerstand. | |||
"(I think you should send her the monogamy one too. Just in case she thinks you are expecting her to be exclusive.)" Good idea, here goes. Monogamy is my favourite wood but it really is elusive. But unlike it I'm not heavy and want nothing exclusive. Thay should to the trick. | |||
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"Ahem,.... should one start looking for formal wear? I am available for ushering duties, and maybe a bit of chauffeuring....
"i could bake the cake | |||
"Awwww are we all buying new hats and fascinators?? " Fascinators were first invented in 1820 when Professor Forbsy-Smythe accudentally shrank his wifes hat collection using his Patent Dimensional Dimminisher Device. True fact. | |||
"Awwww are we all buying new hats and fascinators?? Fascinators were first invented in 1820 when Professor Forbsy-Smythe accudentally shrank his wifes hat collection using his Patent Dimensional Dimminisher Device. True fact. " Fascinating | |||
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"A rare find,a man with brains,intellect,a healthy appetite for all things kinky and a fantastic smile, so where's the catch?? "The catch is that Kinky has a crazy life at the moment, has lost her mojo and isn't meeting right now. | |||
"(I think you should send her the monogamy one too. Just in case she thinks you are expecting her to be exclusive.) Good idea, here goes. Monogamy is my favourite wood but it really is elusive. But unlike it I'm not heavy and want nothing exclusive. Thay should to the trick." | |||
"A rare find,a man with brains,intellect,a healthy appetite for all things kinky and a fantastic smile, so where's the catch?? "Aw shucks, where's that blushing thingy? Ah, here we are
What a lovely compliment, thank you. Think I shall leave the flat with steam in my stride today | |||
"A rare find,a man with brains,intellect,a healthy appetite for all things kinky and a fantastic smile, so where's the catch??
The catch is that Kinky has a crazy life at the moment, has lost her mojo and isn't meeting right now. "Aw but Kinky, how can you resist, you know it would be fun! His shirt alone would have me in stitches all evening | |||
"A rare find,a man with brains,intellect,a healthy appetite for all things kinky and a fantastic smile, so where's the catch??
The catch is that Kinky has a crazy life at the moment, has lost her mojo and isn't meeting right now.
Aw but Kinky, how can you resist, you know it would be fun! His shirt alone would have me in stitches all evening "And he can acomm... | |||
"Aw but Kinky, how can you resist, you know it would be fun! His shirt alone would have me in stitches all evening "That's a very beautiful shirt Fia. In fact, it's going on right now to entice the sunshine to come out to play. I'm prepared to suffer frostbite in the process. | |||
"Aw but Kinky, how can you resist, you know it would be fun! His shirt alone would have me in stitches all evening
That's a very beautiful shirt Fia. In fact, it's going on right now to entice the sunshine to come out to play. I'm prepared to suffer frostbite in the process."I hope you have more luck with the sunshine than you've had with Kinky | |||
"A rare find,a man with brains,intellect,a healthy appetite for all things kinky and a fantastic smile, so where's the catch??
The catch is that Kinky has a crazy life at the moment, has lost her mojo and isn't meeting right now.
Aw but Kinky, how can you resist, you know it would be fun! His shirt alone would have me in stitches all evening "Ah, alas, it's not him, it's me. I'm broken. | |||
"Ah, alas, it's not him, it's me. I'm broken. "Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you I must point out that the above rubbish chorus belongs to messrs Martin, Buckland, Berryman & Champion. I borrowed it for the purpose of this thread but I think we can all see by now that I'm a better poet/songsmith than any of the Coldplay mob. | |||
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"Ah, alas, it's not him, it's me. I'm broken.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I must point out that the above rubbish chorus belongs to messrs Martin, Buckland, Berryman & Champion.
I borrowed it for the purpose of this thread but I think we can all see by now that I'm a better poet/songsmith than any of the Coldplay mob."How handy are you? What tools would you use for the fixing? | |||
"How handy are you? What tools would you use for the fixing?" To be honest I don't know the extent of the problem or state of disrepair - but rest assured that I have a huge array of hardware in my garage for moments such as this. Hang on, I don't have a garage. | |||
"How handy are you? What tools would you use for the fixing? To be honest I don't know the extent of the problem or state of disrepair - but rest assured that I have a huge array of hardware in my garage for moments such as this. Hang on, I don't have a garage." It looks like you have some competition from Wishy - and he's definitely got tools!!! | |||
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"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun?" I don't know who Wishy covets but he's posted a poem and I know from previous threads he has skill and tools. Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q. | |||
"Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q." Well then, she bloody well shouldn't be broken. | |||
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"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun?" Nay so, I fear said maiden has sets her sights on finer fettle than I. | |||
"Nay so, I fear said maiden has sets her sights on finer fettle than I. "Me and thee both fine sir. I bid you a good night and pray your quill drips ink of inspiration come morn. | |||
"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun? I don't know who Wishy covets but he's posted a poem and I know from previous threads he has skill and tools. Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q." Not only steel toed but steel soled too. I demolished a wall the summer before last largely by kicking it down. That was a fun summer. (The wall needed to come down, I wasn't just being a vandal. I was only able to kick it down because it was frost damaged and the mortar was fairly poor, but as a means of small scale demolition it was entertaining.) As for all the poetry, | |||
"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun? I don't know who Wishy covets but he's posted a poem and I know from previous threads he has skill and tools. Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q. Not only steel toed but steel soled too. I demolished a wall the summer before last largely by kicking it down. That was a fun summer. (The wall needed to come down, I wasn't just being a vandal. I was only able to kick it down because it was frost damaged and the mortar was fairly poor, but as a means of small scale demolition it was entertaining.) As for all the poetry, "I'm loving the poetry
I once had a love song written for/about me. It didn't make the charts I liked it. | |||
"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun? I don't know who Wishy covets but he's posted a poem and I know from previous threads he has skill and tools. Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q. Not only steel toed but steel soled too. I demolished a wall the summer before last largely by kicking it down. That was a fun summer. (The wall needed to come down, I wasn't just being a vandal. I was only able to kick it down because it was frost damaged and the mortar was fairly poor, but as a means of small scale demolition it was entertaining.) As for all the poetry,
I'm loving the poetry
I once had a love song written for/about me. It didn't make the charts I liked it."Ah, but do you not remember my fairly recent post about not wanting to meet anyone who wants to meet me? | |||
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"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun? I don't know who Wishy covets but he's posted a poem and I know from previous threads he has skill and tools. Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q. Not only steel toed but steel soled too. I demolished a wall the summer before last largely by kicking it down. That was a fun summer. (The wall needed to come down, I wasn't just being a vandal. I was only able to kick it down because it was frost damaged and the mortar was fairly poor, but as a means of small scale demolition it was entertaining.) As for all the poetry,
I'm loving the poetry
I once had a love song written for/about me. It didn't make the charts I liked it.
Ah, but do you not remember my fairly recent post about not wanting to meet anyone who wants to meet me?"I didn't see it
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"Does Wishy covet fair maiden from the Shire of Hamtun? I don't know who Wishy covets but he's posted a poem and I know from previous threads he has skill and tools. Let's not forget, this is a woman with steel toe-capped boots and she shops at B&Q. Not only steel toed but steel soled too. I demolished a wall the summer before last largely by kicking it down. That was a fun summer. (The wall needed to come down, I wasn't just being a vandal. I was only able to kick it down because it was frost damaged and the mortar was fairly poor, but as a means of small scale demolition it was entertaining.) As for all the poetry,
I'm loving the poetry
I once had a love song written for/about me. It didn't make the charts I liked it.
Ah, but do you not remember my fairly recent post about not wanting to meet anyone who wants to meet me?
I didn't see it
"Found and bumped. I think the conclusion was I'm a basket case! | |||
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"^ That is the nature of my broken. Grouchoitis." Dear forum. It is with great sadness that I bring news that the pursuit of Kinkyinhants has officially ended. I can take knockbacks, I can take elusiveness and aloofness. I love a chase, it's all the fun of the fair. However, once my intended has officially declared that they suffer from Grouchoitis, then the chase is off. For those not in the know - this is a particularly nasty and contagious condition and I fear that if I were to ever catch it, that would spell real danger to my 'sunny disposition'. I would like to thank all those who posted their support, added their poetry and urged Kinky to 'do the right thing'. I'm sorry if I've let you down and I'm doubly sorry if you purchased items for the weddng. It's time to move on. All great artists need a muse - I just have to find a great muse that needs an artist. *Sob... | |||
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"^ That is the nature of my broken. Grouchoitis. Dear forum. It is with great sadness that I bring news that the pursuit of Kinkyinhants has officially ended. I can take knockbacks, I can take elusiveness and aloofness. I love a chase, it's all the fun of the fair. However, once my intended has officially declared that they suffer from Grouchoitis, then the chase is off. For those not in the know - this is a particularly nasty and contagious condition and I fear that if I were to ever catch it, that would spell real danger to my 'sunny disposition'. I would like to thank all those who posted their support, added their poetry and urged Kinky to 'do the right thing'. I'm sorry if I've let you down and I'm doubly sorry if you purchased items for the wedding. It's time to move on. All great artists need a muse - I just have to find a great muse that needs an artist. *Sob..." Damn! Oh well... FOR SALE:- 1960 Bentley S2 Continental in white, with red Connolly leather int. Mulliner Park Ward special body. 73,000 miles from new. FBSH. 3 owners from new. Bought for wedding work, but no takers..... Accept best offer over £59,000 (ovno) (sob sob sob sob...... )
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"Lacey & Pork - I'm so sorry about this. I really did do my best. It's times like this when I need to seek solace in my poetry once again..... I wandered lonely as a spurned, bitter, grumpy, frustrated, cloud with no self esteem. Wordsworth, William. 1802. " Pansy. oops, sorry, that was about daffodils wasn't it. | |||
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"Grouchoitis is described in the thread I bumped last night about only wanting to meet people who don't want me. Sorry everyone, I am broken." I've got some gaffer tape and a tube of no more nails. Any good? | |||
"Grouchoitis is described in the thread I bumped last night about only wanting to meet people who don't want me. Sorry everyone, I am broken. I've got some gaffer tape and a tube of no more nails. Any good?" At this stage, anything is worth a try. | |||
"I've often wondered if Shakespeare had use of a computer in his day would he have written poetry reflecting use of modern technology. To this end I wrote this: ~ Such love wingeth it's way to thee, Cross'd in a means of stubborn keys, And bytes that bite such megabits, Recieve my love in pageless hits. ~ Oh woe is me in my computing hour, Wouldst my love leaveth me so dour? That she would not return my hail, And send me such a sweet email. ~ Copper'ed my lively wire, Sing with love this earthly hour. I have one simple wish for thee, To sing with me in rhapsody. ~ Take, yea thieve, my numbered abode, Convert'ed into a nameless mode, And visit with me, this loneful night; Come rest with me - at my website. " Very good..... Shakespeare was very naughty boy in his time, so nothing changes there | |||
