FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > DMing regarding forum posts
DMing regarding forum posts
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"
It's cool with me tbh you. I have filters on in any case so I don't get msgs from ppl I don't want to hear from.
As for me, very rarely do I do it tbh with you. I might do it twice for every 25 or so posts I check out lol |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
It depends what it is and why.
I’ve had some great conversations with people based on forum threads and exchanging views.
If it’s just sexual, then I can understand the annoyance but if it’s a genuine reaction and conversation based on something that one of us has posted, then that’s the whole point of the forums.
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"
Yep.
Hence they get deleted.
It even says 'keep forum stuff for the forums our profile.
And it's not just men. Women and couples are often just as guilty.
A |
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No ive had some really good conversations with people from them dm'ing me from forum threads.
Once they realise I absolutely have zero intentions about chatting about sex or adding them as a friend of course  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"
Really annoying. I just tell them to keep it to the forum and delete. |
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"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying  "
Oh it’s terribly annoying.
Actually no it’s not.
I do it often but it will never be about trying to get sex chat or perv. Unless I know the person of course.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s all about the context and combination of are you actually messaging about the thread, that you need to talk privately about something. Or are you just trying to find a way to say hi nice xyz…
I think if you’ve not spoke before and you want to message someone on the thread a “do you mind if I DM” is fine, but don’t use it as a way of saying you look hot etc…
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It depends what they message and why.
I have to admit, I do find it almost slightly creepy when people who never post on the forum PM to reply. It’s like they’re just hovering around observing people instead of actively joining in.
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I've done it accidentally a few time, due to thr placement of the buttons, i go to tap reply in forum with my thumb and hit the sode of reply in private, tbh I don't think reply in private should be the first option when viewing on a phone |
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Before I knew how the forum worked, I was too shy to post publicly having seen the roasting that some posters got, so responded privately to a comment made that had resonated with me and the person was polite enough but they pointed me in the direction of the forum.
There are unwritten rules here which make it difficult for those who aren't already in the know.
I don't mind relevant messages but when it's just hey wuu2, I can't help but  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends what they message and why.
I have to admit, I do find it almost slightly creepy when people who never post on the forum PM to reply. It’s like they’re just hovering around observing people instead of actively joining in.
"
Well would DM you anytime you wanted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.
Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.
E |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.
Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.
E"
Yea I pretty much agree with this. |
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"Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.
Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.
E"
I 100% agree with you, Problem is a lot of members act contradictory to what their profile says. For example thr amount of "straight" guys who message me asking to suck my dick and have me fuck them.
And tbh 90% of peeps don't even bother to read a profile before messaging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.
Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.
E
I 100% agree with you, Problem is a lot of members act contradictory to what their profile says. For example thr amount of "straight" guys who message me asking to suck my dick and have me fuck them.
And tbh 90% of peeps don't even bother to read a profile before messaging."
Fab straight guys always seem to ask to suck it and always start with "my gf would like" or "am not bi but would love to" I don't mind random PMs off the forums but please just make them more interesting |
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"It depends what it is and why.
I’ve had some great conversations with people based on forum threads and exchanging views.
If it’s just sexual, then I can understand the annoyance but if it’s a genuine reaction and conversation based on something that one of us has posted, then that’s the whole point of the forums.
"
Exactly this |
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"It depends what it is and why.
I’ve had some great conversations with people based on forum threads and exchanging views.
If it’s just sexual, then I can understand the annoyance but if it’s a genuine reaction and conversation based on something that one of us has posted, then that’s the whole point of the forums.
Exactly this"
I’ve also sent messages of the back of a thread |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
The only time it annoys me is when someone does it so others don't see them answering me in case it pisses them off .In fact it doesn't even annoy me more makes me roll my eyes and think they need to grow up.
Other than that I've had some nice chats off here . |
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"The only time it annoys me is when someone does it so others don't see them answering me in case it pisses them off .In fact it doesn't even annoy me more makes me roll my eyes and think they need to grow up.
Other than that I've had some nice chats off here ."
Yeah I’ve had that a lot where people agree with something I say but don’t have the balls to post it in public. That does grind on me a bit. |
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It depends if they message to explain in depth about what they meant then that’s fine . If for example it’s a post about favourite sexual positions and they just message to say they agree and would like to show me how good they are then yeah that’s annoying.
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I've had this happen a few times. Sometimes it's just general chat but others have been to agree with something I've said.
The funniest was when two women were having a full scale argument on a thread and I made a comment without quoting either of them. Within 5 mins they both messaged to thank me for agreeing with them and to tell me how nasty the other woman was and how she was not as innocent as she made out.
Putting the two messages side by side they could almost have been written by the same person.  |
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By *nimal007Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
I'm guessing this is more of a problem if your a single lady. We have had a few but they have always been relevant... dosnt bother me if they are not relevant i just ignore and delete if they keep at it then block...no point in getting twisted over it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never done it as I always thought the purpose of the forum was to communicate with each other, however, it's been nice when it's happened to me as I've had a lot of great conversations made online friends based off them messaging me on the back of a forum thread so I'm not really bothered by it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's a thread about some sex act then they message because I said I was into it. It makes sense to message people who like the same things.
I find it annoying because my profile states I'm not looking for men, but they don't always check profiles. The Reply privately button just goes straight to a message so it's not their fault.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's probably best to have really tight filters to avoid it happening "
But then I wouldn't get an ego boost every time my Inbox icon turns pissy yellow.  |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Usually I don’t mind if they’re eloquent and/or funny messages related to the forum thread. I may or may not reply depending on how bored I am.
Messages along the lines of “FAF hun” or “your (sic) so sexy hun” get deleted etc. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
I've done a few times but not to try and... I did it to make a further comment about a thread, the way someone else is interacting with them or to answer a question they may have asked privately. |
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"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"
I welcome it. Last few days had lots of females messaging me.
What’s the issue? Just don’t reply / delete if you don’t want the message. Nobody is a mind reader |
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Most of mine are sent in error, I think, with a few as an attempted wind-up. I've had a few interesting conversations with great people but generally feel it's better to have the discussion in the forum. |
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"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying
Oh it’s terribly annoying.
Actually no it’s not.
I do it often but it will never be about trying to get sex chat or perv. Unless I know the person of course. "
Tried reporting you about this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it’s something they don’t want to say in public it’s fine. If it’s just a response that could have easily been posted in the forums then I usually don’t respond. |
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If the DM is polite and or informative then it’s ok with me. I’ve had meets because people hadn’t realised I was into the thread point of discussion.
But if making a point about the thread then it should stay in the thread.
Is that difficult! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No ive had some really good conversations with people from them dm'ing me from forum threads.
Once they realise I absolutely have zero intentions about chatting about sex or adding them as a friend of course "
This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"
Depends of the thread. I’ve started doing it recently and attached face pics. I’ve got one of those faces people want slap or sit on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read? "
The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers. |
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I don't mind if it's something not totally on topic we have had a bit of back and forth about because they don't want to derail the thread. If it's something they should have just posted on the thread though then yeah I totally get you. |
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"I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read?
The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers. "
I really don’t think so. Not from the forums anyway. Unless nobody wants to get into mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read?
The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers. "
I was thinking that after I posted |
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"I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read?
The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers.
I really don’t think so. Not from the forums anyway. Unless nobody wants to get into mine "
Your pants are incredibly colourful and attractive  xx |
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I’ve done it on occasions, to offer some private support to someone who seems like they need it.
Maybe the OP of a sensitive forum thread when I don’t want to let the whole site know I’ve been in a similar situation, or maybe I can see someone is being unjustly criticised by unfair comments on here…. but I don’t want to them end up being bullied myself. (Yes it happens to guys)
Either way, the option is there to ‘Reply Privately’, same as the option is there to block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would do this if I was alreadt friends with someone ....
But to a random. Probs not.
There are always exceptions tho. "
Yes agree, there are exceptions J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read?
The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers.
I was thinking that after I posted"
I’m fine with men trying to get in my knickers J x |
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