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Do you stay or do you go?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If someone can’t be the partner you’re looking for (in terms of you want more than they have the capacity to be for you), do you walk away? Or do you just leave it as it is and be happy you get to have that person in your life in some way?
**Just doing some thinking. Don’t read into it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I felt unable to compromise and be content then I wouldn't hang on in "
Hmm. How much would you be willing to compromise before just saying you want what you want and this person just isn’t it? |
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"If I felt unable to compromise and be content then I wouldn't hang on in
Hmm. How much would you be willing to compromise before just saying you want what you want and this person just isn’t it?"
To the point where I didn't feel content |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I felt unable to compromise and be content then I wouldn't hang on in
Hmm. How much would you be willing to compromise before just saying you want what you want and this person just isn’t it?
To the point where I didn't feel content "
I mean yes. I guess the scenario does imply discontent though. Lol |
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"If I felt unable to compromise and be content then I wouldn't hang on in
Hmm. How much would you be willing to compromise before just saying you want what you want and this person just isn’t it?
To the point where I didn't feel content
I mean yes. I guess the scenario does imply discontent though. Lol"
If the discontent was constant I wouldn't prolong that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I felt unable to compromise and be content then I wouldn't hang on in
Hmm. How much would you be willing to compromise before just saying you want what you want and this person just isn’t it?
To the point where I didn't feel content
I mean yes. I guess the scenario does imply discontent though. Lol
If the discontent was constant I wouldn't prolong that "
I’m getting that you’d walk away. Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess it depends on how much heartache you will ultimately suffer in each situation. Sometimes youve got to do something that hurts to prevent even more hurt in the future. X  "
This is true. And sometimes you can’t let bad situations stand in the way of the right ones. But I imagine that’s easier said than done lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does perfection exist?? I think life is a series of compromises"
This is true. But I think in the situation given, although vague  , it is just someone looking for someone to be more than this specific person can be. I don’t think it’s idealistic to want to find someone that can be that person. And even if you never find that person, is that so bad? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If only it was that simple.
Is it the feelings that make it hard to walk away? Or the fear of not finding someone else?
The feelings definitely. "
Is it easier if you only like the person and not love them? Or still really difficult? Bloody feelings can be so confusing lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions."
Things are complex for sure. Do you think someone can find happiness with someone that can’t be the person the other needs or wants? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions."
You make it sound like a corporate deal, Nero  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does perfection exist?? I think life is a series of compromises
This is true. But I think in the situation given, although vague , it is just someone looking for someone to be more than this specific person can be. I don’t think it’s idealistic to want to find someone that can be that person. And even if you never find that person, is that so bad? "
I don't think your hypothetical situation is fair on either party so id say move on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does perfection exist?? I think life is a series of compromises
This is true. But I think in the situation given, although vague , it is just someone looking for someone to be more than this specific person can be. I don’t think it’s idealistic to want to find someone that can be that person. And even if you never find that person, is that so bad?
I don't think your hypothetical situation is fair on either party so id say move on"
Yeah I’m a bastard. I think up awful situations in my head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have our faults, look at what your partner does have to offer rather than what they cant give you and weigh them up, and if you love them try and find compromise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions.
You make it sound like a corporate deal, Nero "
We can learn from him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say that would depend on whether you could be honest with yourself that you could genuinely be content with not receiving more.
When I first met my Husband, he had a fuck buddy who wanted more from him. He had told her from the beginning that that was all it was ever going to be, so she agreed but dug her claws in in the hope that he would eventually learn to love her, to the point that she was trying to drive me away and told me to stop seeing him so that she had more of a chance.
I very nearly walked away from the whole thing because of the drama.
He wasn't proud of the situation but learned not to just take someone's word for it from then on. |
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions.
You make it sound like a corporate deal, Nero "
•
Haha! Our terms & conditions are binding and immutable. She's tattooed them on my cock and likewise on her quinny! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say that would depend on whether you could be honest with yourself that you could genuinely be content with not receiving more.
When I first met my Husband, he had a fuck buddy who wanted more from him. He had told her from the beginning that that was all it was ever going to be, so she agreed but dug her claws in in the hope that he would eventually learn to love her, to the point that she was trying to drive me away and told me to stop seeing him so that she had more of a chance.
I very nearly walked away from the whole thing because of the drama.
He wasn't proud of the situation but learned not to just take someone's word for it from then on."
Absolutely this is it. It’s about whether you know yourself that you can remain unhappy (because in the situation you’re unhappy to some extent), with not having more. My feeling is that people should walk away and find what they truly want but I think feelings make that difficult don’t they |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some times it's better to walk away than cling to something and feel like you're settling as it can lead to resentment xT "
I agree. Maybe walking away is for the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Previously I hung around because it was easier and they weren't a bad person. It took me a look time to realise how unhappy I was.
I wouldn't do that again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends what the compromise is.
In this situation. What would be the ideal compromise for you ?"
As in depends on what the issue is. Some things can be a compromise and some can't.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions.
You make it sound like a corporate deal, Nero
•
Haha! Our terms & conditions are binding and immutable. She's tattooed them on my cock and likewise on her quinny! "
Oh my  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May we all get to have a chance to ride the fast one
Walk away wiser when we crashed one
Keep hopin' that the best one is the last one
Yeah, you learn to fly, and if you can't, then you just freefall
May we all
Thank you to Florida Georgia Line for these words. |
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"If someone can’t be the partner you’re looking for (in terms of you want more than they have the capacity to be for you), do you walk away? Or do you just leave it as it is and be happy you get to have that person in your life in some way?
**Just doing some thinking. Don’t read into it. "
Definitely walk away.
I'm not here to throw my life and dreams away, on someone who doesn't have similar dreams want's and need's.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Walk away. It's not always that simple of course but ultimately you both deserve to be happy. I would make sure I'd tried every which way to make it work first though.
Px |
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions.
Things are complex for sure. Do you think someone can find happiness with someone that can’t be the person the other needs or wants? "
•
It depends on what the conditions, obstacles and criteria are in order to attain happiness. It also depends how malleable each party is for compromise. (Sometimes I hate that word "compromise" because it resonates with 'capitulation')
I think you can reach a state of peace, contentment and happiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's unique for every relationship, and impossible to say. I wish I had valued my happiness more and not stayed as long.
I also wish someone hadn't given up on me, on us, because I think we could have made it work. Two different relationships. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't think there's a simple answer to this. But I suppose it depends on how happy and content you are with the other other person and if being with them is making you miserable and you feel more lonely with them than you are when you're actually alone then yes I think it's time to walk away.
All relationships take work and some compromise but if you have to completely change who you are in order to make it work it's definitely not worth it.And if the other person is the one who demands the change and makes no effort themselves then I'd walk away. I've been in a relationship like that before and I wish I had left a lot sooner than I did.
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I lived with abuse for year's and didn't have the ability to get up and go with my children, I had no money or family support, nowhere to live and if it wasn't for my husband's help I just don't know if I would have done it tbh. |
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"I let be and made us both unhappy
And I wouldn't do that ever again x
So you’d walk away? Or you wouldn’t walk away again? Sorry lol"
Fixed it
I didn't know how to walk away the first time and it made us both unhappy.
So if it happened again yes I would walk away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone can’t be the partner you’re looking for (in terms of you want more than they have the capacity to be for you), do you walk away? Or do you just leave it as it is and be happy you get to have that person in your life in some way?
**Just doing some thinking. Don’t read into it. "
This is like living with a painful splinter because you like the wood it came from.
Go. |
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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago
stockport |
"If only it was that simple.
Is it the feelings that make it hard to walk away? Or the fear of not finding someone else?
The feelings definitely.
Is it easier if you only like the person and not love them? Or still really difficult? Bloody feelings can be so confusing lol"
Absolutely love. Love can be evil |
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"If only it was that simple.
•
I agree.
And therefore I retained the status quo with mutually agreeable conditions.
Things are complex for sure. Do you think someone can find happiness with someone that can’t be the person the other needs or wants?
•
It depends on what the conditions, obstacles and criteria are in order to attain happiness. It also depends how malleable each party is for compromise. (Sometimes I hate that word "compromise" because it resonates with 'capitulation')
I think you can reach a state of peace, contentment and happiness."
I agree with this.  . I can see how it wouldn’t work for some people though. People’s Situations are too individual to compare I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I lived with abuse for year's and didn't have the ability to get up and go with my children, I had no money or family support, nowhere to live and if it wasn't for my husband's help I just don't know if I would have done it tbh. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The logical answer is to walk away.
But, really truly knowing myself, if I had real feelings for the person and they gave me even an ounce of affection back I would hang onto that as long as I physically could  |
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