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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about this phrase that I find irritating…..
I don’t not do thing because I’m shy, it’s generally because I choose not to.
Thoughts please?"
Your over thinking it . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because it shows that the person saying it doesn't actually understand why you're uncomfortable about what they're asking.
LvM"
Thank you, yes, I think that it is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is it about this phrase that I find irritating…..
I don’t not do thing because I’m shy, it’s generally because I choose not to.
Thoughts please?
Your over thinking it ."
Why…..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It feels kinda manipulative.
As a teen I have used that term, there's one tale I like to tell and it makes me cringe every time now."
Yes, it feels kind of manipulative to me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t be shy?
I’d probably say that to coax someone into doing something they don’t want to.
I certainly wouldn’t say it to someone I didn’t think I knew, at least a little.
Keep being shy Hippy, your photos are amazing.   |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
This proper irritates me also - I think people use it in the hope that you will do something just to prove your not - like being shy is a negative.
It’s quite a manipulative phrase - telling someone not to be something is pointless, shyness is not easy to overcome, a person can be aware of it and perhaps want to improve it but it doesn’t help when someone’s trying to shame them for being that way which is what I feel the phrase does xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about this phrase that I find irritating…..
I don’t not do thing because I’m shy, it’s generally because I choose not to.
Thoughts please?
Your over thinking it .
Why…..
"
I'm not going to explane you asked me what I thought I gave you my honest answer, to go any further could be considered as mansplaining. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like a lot of questions posed on here, context is everything. I'm not sure whether I'm alarmed, disappointed or both in the automatic negative perception that prevails here.
Can be positive encouragement or it can be manipulation, depends on context Hippy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about this phrase that I find irritating…..
I don’t not do thing because I’m shy, it’s generally because I choose not to.
Thoughts please?"
Don't be shy, take your knickers off and sit on my lap  |
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If I was anxious about something, for example when I have to give talks to a room of over 200 people. "Don't be shy" isn't going to make me feel any better. I can't think of how it would be used that would make a positive impact on myself.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is it about this phrase that I find irritating…..
I don’t not do thing because I’m shy, it’s generally because I choose not to.
Thoughts please?
Your over thinking it .
Why…..
I'm not going to explane you asked me what I thought I gave you my honest answer, to go any further could be considered as mansplaining."
Explaining your thought process is not mansplaining, but up to you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This proper irritates me also - I think people use it in the hope that you will do something just to prove your not - like being shy is a negative.
It’s quite a manipulative phrase - telling someone not to be something is pointless, shyness is not easy to overcome, a person can be aware of it and perhaps want to improve it but it doesn’t help when someone’s trying to shame them for being that way which is what I feel the phrase does xx"
I think this hits the nail on the head |
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"Don't be shy, show us your rectum.
Pfft, todays pic are so far out of my comfort zone as it is "
They are all really beautiful done!
The one with you falling over and your feet in the air made me laugh too!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This proper irritates me also - I think people use it in the hope that you will do something just to prove your not - like being shy is a negative.
It’s quite a manipulative phrase - telling someone not to be something is pointless, shyness is not easy to overcome, a person can be aware of it and perhaps want to improve it but it doesn’t help when someone’s trying to shame them for being that way which is what I feel the phrase does xx"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't be shy, show us your rectum.
Pfft, todays pic are so far out of my comfort zone as it is
They are all really beautiful done!
The one with you falling over and your feet in the air made me laugh too! "
So clumsy |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"What is it about this phrase that I find irritating…..
I don’t not do thing because I’m shy, it’s generally because I choose not to.
Thoughts please?"
Its the connotation that you should do what someone else wants rather than make your own decision with the added implication that there is a "reason" you aren't doing what they want. |
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"Pfft, todays pic are so far out of my comfort zone as it is "
•
That was also my thinking, but it hasn't diminished any deference to your profile. It's YOUR profile.
In regards to the "don't by shy": I don't know about the context is but it's sounds like a disingenuous throwaway remark. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must of had a charmed life because it's only ever been said to me as a form of encouragement. In a moment of self-doubt or something and usually resulting in being of benefit to me. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
It falls into the same category as men saying things like ‘give us a smile, you’re so much prettier when you smile’, it’s ridiculously offensive. It makes women feel that they are only meant to be happy and pretty and in the case of ‘don’t be shy’, also outgoing or forward, and it's a passive way to engage into an unwanted conversation. The fact that so many men still just don’t understand this is appalling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like a lot of questions posed on here, context is everything. I'm not sure whether I'm alarmed, disappointed or both in the automatic negative perception that prevails here.
Can be positive encouragement or it can be manipulation, depends on context Hippy."
Agreed its all in the context and the delivery too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It falls into the same category as men saying things like ‘give us a smile, you’re so much prettier when you smile’, it’s ridiculously offensive. It makes women feel that they are only meant to be happy and pretty and in the case of ‘don’t be shy’, also outgoing or forward, and it's a passive way to engage into an unwanted conversation. The fact that so many men still just don’t understand this is appalling."
This is awesome  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't be shy is a form of manipulation.
It's me telling you to do what I want you to do, regardless of any personal feelings you may have.
Don't trust your gut, just do what I want. "
I think so, but wondered if it was me |
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