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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How does a couple m/f find the Balance of maintaining a healthy relationship and still sleep with other women. I need to get this image of sister wives out of my head. Is it better to have a regular or one night stands. I'd love some advice. |
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I don't think it's about finding a balance OP. We have a good relationship that means we can seek another for MFM when we meet. We as a couple come first the rest is just extras.
Again with finding a long term FWB or short term it really depends on how you work. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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What's better depends on what works for you in a dynamic - it might be one offs or more regular fucking/friends with benefits. You can compartmentalise, prioritise, it's very individual. Some prefer to keep it purely sex based, prevents any worries of sister wives etc.
The best thing to do is to speak openly and honestly to your partner about how you feel, any worries or doubts and listen to them as to how they feel about things.
And also, be true to yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, acknowledge that and don't do things that will later cause you hurt down the line. |
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The answer to that is as individual as each couple...different things will work for different people. I think honest and open communication is important, as is setting boundaries and sticking to them. Keep the communication going and don't be afraid to change the boundaries if they aren't working for one or both of you. |
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We're madly in love with each other which helps. But on top of that, it takes so long to find a bi-woman with the attraction, arrange a meet, rearrange that meet agaib because the first one fell through, work out if you actually click face-to-face, and THEN tear off each other's clothes. That it doesn't happen anywhere near often enough to potentially cause a rift 
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks all, we have met 2 ladies in the past and clicked immediately, had fun couple of times and then it goes no where. I just don't know where to draw the line of having gun and getting to involved. Me and my hubby are mad about eachother and very secure. |
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By *r laidbackMan
over a year ago
London & New Brighton |
"The answer to that is as individual as each couple...different things will work for different people. I think honest and open communication is important, as is setting boundaries and sticking to them. Keep the communication going and don't be afraid to change the boundaries if they aren't working for one or both of you. "
Good advice |
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We are in a secure loving relationship so our heads aren’t going to be turned during a meet.
That doesn’t mean we are cold towards someone, we do love to connect as friends as well as sexually. But it’s just extending the fun.
We are arranging a weekend with someone soon, sharing the same bed and spending time in and out of bed with them…planning vanilla and kinky things.
It’s all going to depend on the dynamics of a particular relationship…as we wouldn’t necessarily extend that to others.
Do what ever feels comfortable for you.
K |
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"I don't know what I prefer, I feel like we jump in 2 feet and then it's mixed mesaages"
Ok well I guess you need to figure out what your preference is. Then it will be easier to find ladies who are compatible with your preferences.
I think it's a hard thing to do without preparation as you are dealing with 3 of you Vs you as a couple.
There's no wrong or right to what you want, they're all preferences. |
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"How do you stop feelings getting involved, even though we r in a solid relationship"
Are you genuinely having romantic feelings or are they friendship ones?
Do you think you have the potential to be polyamorous? Not saying you are, but maybe worth exploring your feelings? |
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We are both open minded as a couple, but we set rules, for us personally it is always best to spend some time on a friendship level getting to know that person, But it relies on open communication with each other and being 100% honest about the answers, some couples are not 50/50, so one is doing something to please the other. It all boils down to how strong your relationship is in general.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're madly in love with each other which helps. But on top of that, it takes so long to find a bi-woman with the attraction, arrange a meet, rearrange that meet agaib because the first one fell through, work out if you actually click face-to-face, and THEN tear off each other's clothes. That it doesn't happen anywhere near often enough to potentially cause a rift
LvM"
Totally this  When it happens it's amazing with the right person, but by no means will it ever invade the special emotional relationship I have with my husband.
If you have concerns/doubts/worries it's vitally important you talk openly and honestly with each other. Your relationship has to come first and foremost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i barely know someone i dont give a toss but if i care about them i dont do sharing im too competitive "
luckily tho to add to that my ability to care enough about someone no longer exists tho
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we should lay down our limits before hand"
Absolutely, 100% you need to. You both need to be clear and concise about your boundaries/wants/needs/expectations etc before you go any further. You sound to me like you have doubts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't think I'm cut out for this"
If you're having regrets from what you've already done, then you need to take a massive step back and talk it through with each other. |
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Doing this can bring up a lot of questions and doubts so it’s important to keep talking to each other. For me, I like to get to know people and don’t just want a quick fuck. I do become friendly with people but I have never yet felt anything more for anyone other than friends who I sometimes have sex with. I’m ruled by my head though and a very sensible person so I don’t think I’d get carried away. We are also in a very secure relationship and neither of us are jealous people so that helps.
It takes a while to find the best way to make it work for you.
Kx |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s really important to resist urges and spontaneity with others and stick 100% to what you’ve agreed. For a woman it’s important too, I don’t get jealous but when she’s like oh this just happened in the moment or I’m watching unfold at a party when she’s had a few it’s way too late to save that relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we should lay down our limits before hand"
Yes and no matter how small a thing it may seem. You both need to be singing from the same hymn sheet |
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"Don't think I'm cut out for this"
And that's ok too. After our first meet I learnt a lot about what my limits were and what I wanted. It's ok for you to change your mind. Just make sure you always communicate with your partner. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Nothing would ever come between me and hubby, maybe it's just the mixed signals we were getting. All systems go and then 0"
OP, I'm confused. Is it that you're not sure you want to meet a woman other than for sex but then when you meet them, they are very keen for more and then they aren't interested? |
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