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Sex in a tree

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Two questions

1) Anybody had sex in a tree? Not against a tree but actually up in the branches....there are some big trees near me that i felt the urge to climb

2) is there a tree related pun here i am missing? I can't quite think of one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lots of wood then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You want to get your bark on?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pun? Hold my beer……

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By *ormorantMan  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Done it in a few bushes in the olden days..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tried.

I couldn’t get up once I’d got up.

Ironic really.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Pun? Hold my beer……"

If you didn’t twig, it my name!

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

Yes, she had feet like a chimp though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not tried it but it’s about time I branched out.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Pun? Hold my beer……

If you didn’t twig, it my name! "

Oh ‘snap’ there’s another.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Someone throw him an olive branch ^

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford

I love climbing them x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No. But I’ve had sex on a beech.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes, she had feet like a chimp though "
. And a bright red ass?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only when she hasn’t shaved. I love a bit of fanny fir

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By *ormorantMan  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Sounds like your pine ing for it, spruce yourself up and it may happen.. maybe in a box..

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North


"Yes, she had feet like a chimp though . And a bright red ass? "

You’ve met her as well?

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

That wood be branching out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes, she had feet like a chimp though . And a bright red ass?

You’ve met her as well? "

She hangs around a lot

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Someone throw him an olive branch ^"
m

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sounds very dangerous

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

A bird in the tree is worth 2 in the bush?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds very dangerous "

We only play safe so should be fine

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"A bird in the tree is worth 2 in the bush?"

I think a 3 way in a tree is too extreme

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds very dangerous

We only play safe so should be fine "

Ooh heck, not in trees I hope!

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By *reamblueMan  over a year ago

London

Tried it in a bonsai tree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds very dangerous

We only play safe so should be fine

Ooh heck, not in trees I hope! "

A couple of harnesses, helmets and knee pads. What’s the worst that can happen?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A bird in the tree is worth 2 in the bush?"

Is that just the same as 2 in the pink and 1 in the stink?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep, some bird tried to peck my nuts while we were up there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If God had wanted to see your nuts up a tree OP she would have made you a squirrel.

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By *hilledGuerillaMan  over a year ago

In the monkey house

Going out in a limb and saying it’s not possible.

Pics or it didn’t happen.

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Tried it with my ex, turned into to only kind of sex we had, she got addicted to the danger, so I had to leaf her.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds very dangerous

We only play safe so should be fine

Ooh heck, not in trees I hope!

A couple of harnesses, helmets and knee pads. What’s the worst that can happen? "

Splinters

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By *aul40nwMan  over a year ago

wirral

Branching out .... seemed to obvious to say

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

Yew must be joking

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By *parkyjayneCouple  over a year ago

midlands

Going to have to leaf this one as we are getting a little alder.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think people have got the wrong end of the stick

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By *anilla switchWoman  over a year ago

Hampshire

Good things come in trees

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Need to get to the root of things here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hope your idea of this comes to fruition op

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By *anilla switchWoman  over a year ago

Hampshire

I’ve just seen trees in the river…. Looking for there swimming trunk’s

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people need the birch in this thread

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By *ockosaurusMan  over a year ago

Warwick

I love outdoor sex, and was looking for a way to branch out.

Might have to find a good tree and willing participant.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

Bunch of tree swingers

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Don't come knocking if my woodpecker is a rockin.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

…safety first people.

Rubber trees all around.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

If you go down to the woods today you might get a white surprise

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By *eahitis007Man  over a year ago

loddon

You all need to stem the flow of these tree puns now.....

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By *affeine DuskMan  over a year ago

Caerphilly

All the puns I could have used have already been used here so yes, yes I've had sex in a tree.

It was alright.

...fuck all you guys, goddamnit

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"You all need to stem the flow of these tree puns now....."

We need some beavers to build a dam

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Might try it with Ash one day

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By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish

Sex up a tree no,

Oral sex up a tree yes.

Got a photo and video to prove it. I love climbing trees.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I just found out my parents are swingers. You know what they say, the Apple never falls far from the tree.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"You all need to stem the flow of these tree puns now.....

We need some beavers to build a dam"

My beaver is in hibernation

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"All the puns I could have used have already been used here so yes, yes I've had sex in a tree.

It was alright.

"

Palm sex ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had sexy with my girl friend at the time in her younger sisters tree house when I was 16 does that count OP.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"You all need to stem the flow of these tree puns now.....

We need some beavers to build a dam

My beaver is in hibernation "

Your beaver is definitely broken as it's the wrong time of year

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We should start a tree swingers What Sap group.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks people, knew you wouldn't let me down. And if anybody wants to try sex a level up i have a little woodpecker that could help out

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"You all need to stem the flow of these tree puns now.....

We need some beavers to build a dam

My beaver is in hibernation

Your beaver is definitely broken as it's the wrong time of year "

My beaver is most definitely broken

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I tried it once in a tree on a very hot day but got sunburnt in an unfortunate place. It was a Redwood.

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By *asty tatsyMan  over a year ago

london

It’s knot a bit of me

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

Anyone know Douglas Fir ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh leaf it alone these jokes are sapping my will to carry on

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By *eahitis007Man  over a year ago

loddon

Your running rings round me with all the puns.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't know about this one, I'm stumped.

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By *sBlueWoman  over a year ago

Up North


"Two questions

1) Anybody had sex in a tree? Not against a tree but actually up in the branches....there are some big trees near me that i felt the urge to climb

2) is there a tree related pun here i am missing? I can't quite think of one

"

I want to break free!

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By *eahitis007Man  over a year ago

loddon


"I tried it once in a tree on a very hot day but got sunburnt in an unfortunate place. It was a Redwood."

Did the lady in question have junk in the trunk?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Two questions

1) Anybody had sex in a tree? Not against a tree but actually up in the branches....there are some big trees near me that i felt the urge to climb

2) is there a tree related pun here i am missing? I can't quite think of one

"

Join us and we can have a treesome

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Once after drinking far too much I was caught by the police having sex with a hole in the side of a tree. I was charged with being trunk and disorderly.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

Did the lady in question have junk in the trunk?"

Or spunk in the trunk ?

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

I came, I saw, I conkered...

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Once after drinking far too much I was caught by the police having sex with a hole in the side of a tree. I was charged with being trunk and disorderly."

Knot beech of the peace ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

These jokes are the root of despair

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I came, I saw, I conkered..."

Not that old chestnut !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was going to say something funny but thought I might get some stick

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ironically I have just been offered a treesome

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only that time i was d*unk and fucked an ewok

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By *eahitis007Man  over a year ago

loddon

Gonna have to stop these, they are starting to grain on me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Once after drinking far too much I was caught by the police having sex with a hole in the side of a tree. I was charged with being trunk and disorderly.

Knot beech of the peace ?"

Please Sally, it was no oak !

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By *ornucopiaMan  over a year ago

Bexley

In a trio many times.

Somebody a few posts back spoilt my planned joke about having a treesome in Ireland. Lucky I read the entire thread before deploying it.

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By *eahitis007Man  over a year ago

loddon

Yew need to make sure you don't use a pun that's been used already

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds very dangerous

We only play safe so should be fine

Ooh heck, not in trees I hope!

A couple of harnesses, helmets and knee pads. What’s the worst that can happen?

Splinters "

Exactly

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Got a feeling it's gonna kick off on this thread any minute...

I'm getting the acorn.

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By *eahitis007Man  over a year ago

loddon


"Got a feeling it's gonna kick off on this thread any minute...

I'm getting the acorn. "

And if it does, then the fruit of my labour will be worth it....

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Covent Garden

I only have sex with one tree at a time. I think it's called Mahogany.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I only have sex with one tree at a time. I think it's called Mahogany."

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By *xploring_FunWoman  over a year ago

Visiting Scotland


"I only have sex with one tree at a time. I think it's called Mahogany."

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By *obandruthCouple  over a year ago

wolverhampton

I've had it on a picnic bench that was once a tree. Does that count

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By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

I tried having sex in a tree once. Bad idea as it was a Bonsai.

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By *ornucopiaMan  over a year ago

Bexley

Going by the standard of spelling on here, I reckon plenty will have had sex in a lavatree.

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