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Are you where you hoped 10 years ago or not?
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Oh and why?
Because ten years ago things were going very badly for us and the prospect was pretty bleak. But through a couple of strokes of luck and by selling our house and downsizing we are now living almost our best lives  |
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"Tell us and tell us why.
Fancied something different because it’s Bank holiday Monday and I’ve got a quarter life crisis round the corner apparently  "
You plan on reaching 100?
Increase your pension contributions  |
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Pah ha ha ha ha ha ha 
10 years ago, I did NOT expect to have an occupational therapy assessment on a Bank Holiday Monday, nor be planning a lengthy trip to be fitted for a new wheelchair the day after.
Not a chance I'd have assumed that 10 years ago! |
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At 20 I had absolutely no idea where I would be in 10 days let alone 10 years  I was too busy being reckless.
Now I’m 30 and not AS reckless. In 10 years my goal is to know what all the functions on the washing machines do. |
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I am exactly where I want to be. Ten years ago I was in a very unhappy relationship. The children had grown up and I craved excitement. The dream seemed so far away but where there is a will there is always a way. So here I am and never looked back. |
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Nope and as 42 approaches I have resigned myself to never achieving some of the things I hoped for such as motherhood.
It's hard but I guess I get to be supper cool aunty Evie to my friends and families kids. |
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"Tell us and tell us why.
Fancied something different because it’s Bank holiday Monday and I’ve got a quarter life crisis round the corner apparently
You plan on reaching 100?
Increase your pension contributions "
I meant not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell us and tell us why.
Fancied something different because it’s Bank holiday Monday and I’ve got a quarter life crisis round the corner apparently
You plan on reaching 100?
Increase your pension contributions
I meant not "
I get it. I deserve the eye roll most times tbf |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good for you all. I am proud of you guys. You inspire me. 
If I inspire you, may God have mercy on your wretched soul "
I’ve wanted him to but he keeps hitting me where it hurts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh and why?
Because ten years ago things were going very badly for us and the prospect was pretty bleak. But through a couple of strokes of luck and by selling our house and downsizing we are now living almost our best lives "
You guys this is so wonderful and I’m so glad you’ve come out the other side. Especially glad you’re living almost your best lives. I think you’re great. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"At 20 I had absolutely no idea where I would be in 10 days let alone 10 years I was too busy being reckless.
Now I’m 30 and not AS reckless. In 10 years my goal is to know what all the functions on the washing machines do. "
Now you're a goddess of chaos, that's even better than recklessness. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pah ha ha ha ha ha ha
10 years ago, I did NOT expect to have an occupational therapy assessment on a Bank Holiday Monday, nor be planning a lengthy trip to be fitted for a new wheelchair the day after.
Not a chance I'd have assumed that 10 years ago!"
But here you are, as perfect as you are and I’m so glad you are. I guess things never go to plan but we make it work. |
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"At 20 I had absolutely no idea where I would be in 10 days let alone 10 years I was too busy being reckless.
Now I’m 30 and not AS reckless. In 10 years my goal is to know what all the functions on the washing machines do. "
I'd give up on the washing machine magic stuff and discover gin - it's a good plan
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Worse position
Ten yrs ago was working and though may not have liked the job thought was good at it and had money
Old issues raised their head and went downhill from then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At 20 I had absolutely no idea where I would be in 10 days let alone 10 years I was too busy being reckless.
Now I’m 30 and not AS reckless. In 10 years my goal is to know what all the functions on the washing machines do. "
You at 20 and me at 20 would’ve got on well Jamie.
But go you for being not AS reckless but keeping some of that recklessness. Makes for an exciting life doesn’t it? If when you’re 39 you haven’t figured the washing machine out, HMU and I’ll teach you. I completed it the other day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am exactly where I want to be. Ten years ago I was in a very unhappy relationship. The children had grown up and I craved excitement. The dream seemed so far away but where there is a will there is always a way. So here I am and never looked back."
Go you! That’s wonderful that you’re here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope and as 42 approaches I have resigned myself to never achieving some of the things I hoped for such as motherhood.
It's hard but I guess I get to be supper cool aunty Evie to my friends and families kids. "
I bet you’re the bloody coolest aunty ever. Things may not be as you hoped but you’re fucking awesome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope I never really think of my future. I try to live in the moment but I would add that most areas of my life are better than I would have expected if I did plan my life out. "
SG 
They’re better because you’re better than you even know. And living in the moment is just great. Makes for a happier life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"God no… but injury, major surgery and full breakdown can change things forever. I’m in a good place now though. Just not what I expected. "
Bless you. How wonderful that you’ve come out the other side though and you’re flying high like the superstar that you are. I’m glad you’re here with us. We appreciate you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Much worse.
10 years ago I was the manager of my own store and earning a very good wage. Then the first economic crisis out of my control, lost me everything. Then a series of government actions that succeeded on making my money less valuable and my skills pointless. I almost made it out of poverty with nothing more than hard work. Now I am poorer than I have ever been and looks to get worse. On the plus side I am closer to the grave too. So at least I get out soon. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope 10 yrs ago was a ssgt in the army great career, was going to stay as long as possible,
Didn't quite work out well on last tour
"
You had a fabulous career and you’re in a different path. But another fabulous path I’m sure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would be married with more kids if we had kept on that path...
"
You didn’t take that one but the path you did take is fucking amazing I am sure, you beautiful woman. And it brought you here and I’m SO grateful for that |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I’m not sure how to answer that question tbh!
10 years ago I was settled with 3 very young children. One of them a newborn. A housewife, very stable financially. But gosh was I bored. I was also very overweight and unhappy with myself.
Two earthquakes that shook my relationship later, some therapy, and having got into my best shape ever 4 years ago, I think I am better and happier now. But I do wonder sometimes what would have happened if my life had followed the slower, calmer path it had before… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Worse position
Ten yrs ago was working and though may not have liked the job thought was good at it and had money
Old issues raised their head and went downhill from then "
To get better, gorgeous man. Keep your head up and keep on keeping on. Lots of love |
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"Nope I never really think of my future. I try to live in the moment but I would add that most areas of my life are better than I would have expected if I did plan my life out. "
Me neither. I’ve always pretty much lived in the moment and planned more short term. My only long term plan was always to live in Spain permanently by the time I’m 60 and I think I’m on target for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God no, at 20 I was too busy trying to scrape through my degree without having a breakdown thinking I was going to be an internationally renowned fashion designer.
Now I’ve just handed in my notice on my second career, no plan, no job, no idea, still trying not to have a breakdown |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think I really had a specific vision. I don't think 20 year old me would be too upset with 30 year old me however. "
That’s great though. If 20 year old you would like you now, you’re smashing it. But we know you’re smashing it anyway because we see that you’re brilliant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doing much better. In the past 10 years I've moved on from a loveless long term relationship, had a son, own my own flat and got into the best shape of my life after struggling with my weight and fitness over the years.
Touch wood the next 10 years are even better. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I didn’t really have a plan but I’m doing much better than I and many others thought I would be."
that’s positive! You’re fab, man. And it’s no surprise you’re doing better than you thought- hopefully you see your brilliance now! |
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"God no, at 20 I was too busy trying to scrape through my degree without having a breakdown thinking I was going to be an internationally renowned fashion designer.
Now I’ve just handed in my notice on my second career, no plan, no job, no idea, still trying not to have a breakdown "
Everyone has their own ti_eline . My dad flitted between jobs until his 40s before finding his career and now he's very successful in his field. Comparison is the thief of joy and we don't have to have it all figured out just because others seem to. Some may have seemed like they always knew what they wanted to do but you never truly know how happy they are, if they regret it or feel trapped. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope I never really think of my future. I try to live in the moment but I would add that most areas of my life are better than I would have expected if I did plan my life out.
Me neither. I’ve always pretty much lived in the moment and planned more short term. My only long term plan was always to live in Spain permanently by the time I’m 60 and I think I’m on target for that "
You’re on track for that which is brilliant. Whether you are where you hoped to be or not 10 years ago- you’re here and you’re wonderful to us all. |
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"I don't think I really had a specific vision. I don't think 20 year old me would be too upset with 30 year old me however.
That’s great though. If 20 year old you would like you now, you’re smashing it. But we know you’re smashing it anyway because we see that you’re brilliant. "
Aww Steve! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God no, at 20 I was too busy trying to scrape through my degree without having a breakdown thinking I was going to be an internationally renowned fashion designer.
Now I’ve just handed in my notice on my second career, no plan, no job, no idea, still trying not to have a breakdown
Everyone has their own ti_eline . My dad flitted between jobs until his 40s before finding his career and now he's very successful in his field. Comparison is the thief of joy and we don't have to have it all figured out just because others seem to. Some may have seemed like they always knew what they wanted to do but you never truly know how happy they are, if they regret it or feel trapped. "
This.
My mum was Head of payroll for a company and had a complete mental breakdown. Few years out she became a home help nurse and was never happier. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Much worse.
10 years ago I was the manager of my own store and earning a very good wage. Then the first economic crisis out of my control, lost me everything. Then a series of government actions that succeeded on making my money less valuable and my skills pointless. I almost made it out of poverty with nothing more than hard work. Now I am poorer than I have ever been and looks to get worse. On the plus side I am closer to the grave too. So at least I get out soon."
Bless you. I’m sorry to hear this. Keep going, the sunshine is literally round the corner!
It’s tough but I’m sure you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot and that shit is important too. Lots of love |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure how to answer that question tbh!
10 years ago I was settled with 3 very young children. One of them a newborn. A housewife, very stable financially. But gosh was I bored. I was also very overweight and unhappy with myself.
Two earthquakes that shook my relationship later, some therapy, and having got into my best shape ever 4 years ago, I think I am better and happier now. But I do wonder sometimes what would have happened if my life had followed the slower, calmer path it had before… "
Don’t wonder too much! You’re here, you’re beautiful and you’re in a great place it sounds like. Maybe not what you expected but still, a brilliant place! Most importantly you are happier! That’s so good. So happy for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In many respects yes but in regard to taking things easier and reattaching with some past hobbies by the time I’m late fifties, unfortunately not. "
Hold on to the many respects. The other stuff might come or it might not but there’s always positives |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope. 
What a sweet, summer child I was... somehow I feel like I'll be saying the exact same thing about me now in another ten years time. "
Because you’ll always be sweet. But I’m sure there’s plenty good, you lovely person |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think I really had a specific vision. I don't think 20 year old me would be too upset with 30 year old me however.
That’s great though. If 20 year old you would like you now, you’re smashing it. But we know you’re smashing it anyway because we see that you’re brilliant.
Aww Steve! "
I like you. You’re good vibes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doing ok, 10 years ago I had it all. Now I have a different all and I'm here for it
I love this. Reframing is beautiful. Go you "
Learning to reframe got me here so thank you xx |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Not quite - having to give up on my academia dream due to a family member's ill health changed it. But... now, I have a fiancé, something I never saw for me. A good job, beautiful home. All the trappings of a comfortable love filled life that I didn't think I'd ever get to experience. So, no I'm not but life is better for it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"God no, at 20 I was too busy trying to scrape through my degree without having a breakdown thinking I was going to be an internationally renowned fashion designer.
Now I’ve just handed in my notice on my second career, no plan, no job, no idea, still trying not to have a breakdown "
Relatable. I felt constantly on edge of a breakdown through my studies and am nowhere near where I thought but you know what, sounds like you’ve done what you’ve done in search of happier times. And they’ll come. Lots of love |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Doing much better. In the past 10 years I've moved on from a loveless long term relationship, had a son, own my own flat and got into the best shape of my life after struggling with my weight and fitness over the years.
Touch wood the next 10 years are even better."
Goodness this made me smile. So happy for you, lovely man. The next 10 years will be even better even if not in the ways you expect right now! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"10 years ago my world imploded & I was ready to give up on life. If anyone had told me I’d be where I am now I would have laughed at them.
J x"
But you are. And goodness, isn’t it great that you are here! I’m glad you didn’t give up on life and hope you never do. You Angel. |
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"Nope I never really think of my future. I try to live in the moment but I would add that most areas of my life are better than I would have expected if I did plan my life out.
Me neither. I’ve always pretty much lived in the moment and planned more short term. My only long term plan was always to live in Spain permanently by the time I’m 60 and I think I’m on target for that
You’re on track for that which is brilliant. Whether you are where you hoped to be or not 10 years ago- you’re here and you’re wonderful to us all. "
Aw thanks Steve. That’s nice xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Financially better more debt paid of but health wise no wish I was as healthy as I was 10 years ago but I’m still here "
Still here! WOO!! It sounds good to me. You’ve done another ten years at the crease, and you’re better in so many ways for that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Doing ok, 10 years ago I had it all. Now I have a different all and I'm here for it
I love this. Reframing is beautiful. Go you
Learning to reframe got me here so thank you xx"
It’s brilliant to be able to do. Genuinely I love that for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not quite - having to give up on my academia dream due to a family member's ill health changed it. But... now, I have a fiancé, something I never saw for me. A good job, beautiful home. All the trappings of a comfortable love filled life that I didn't think I'd ever get to experience. So, no I'm not but life is better for it."
This is beautiful Meli. As beautiful as you. I’m sorry that plans changed but I’m incredibly smiley reading all the other wonderful things that have come your way. And I hope if you want it, the academia dream comes back and happens. You’d be so amazing I’m so many ways. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope I never really think of my future. I try to live in the moment but I would add that most areas of my life are better than I would have expected if I did plan my life out.
Me neither. I’ve always pretty much lived in the moment and planned more short term. My only long term plan was always to live in Spain permanently by the time I’m 60 and I think I’m on target for that
You’re on track for that which is brilliant. Whether you are where you hoped to be or not 10 years ago- you’re here and you’re wonderful to us all.
Aw thanks Steve. That’s nice xx"
I can say nice things about you always Nora but you don’t strike me as the soppy kind so I play it cool.  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes most definitely exceeded my challenges however by now thought id have kids, i suppose we have to miss out on some areas to succeed in others "
Oh that’s wonderful. And maybe so. I am a firm believer in what’s meant for you will be for you. I bet you’d be an amazing dad. Maybe in the next 10 years? |
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10 years ago all I was hoping for was for my husbands chemo to end along with all the vile side effects and prolong his remission.
I was hoping that once it ended we could get on with normal family life with our two children.
He died 9 years ago.
Tbh I don’t think I’m in much of a better place now, - yes I’m proud of the fact I’ve kept our heads above water and brought my children up through the grief, but part of me thinks I should be ‘further on’, in a better position, and happy.
Losing your partner changes you.
So never did I think 10 years ago I’d be a different person. It is what it is
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not there yet but compared to we’re I was this time last year, I was stuck in a job being bullied by senior “Managment”. Flamed up with them one day and walked, a few weeks of worry and I’ve got an amazing job that I love. I’m in my own house with one of my dream cars so I’m doing well atm but I’m not we’re I want to be yet lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You know, I was only small 10 years ago but I had these great plans and ideas about where I’d be and tbh other than finding the love of my life, graduating and having a kid, I’m nowhere near anything else I hoped. I am however in a completely different place that I’m grateful to be in. Anyway I have a good feeling about the next 10 years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Much worse.
10 years ago I was the manager of my own store and earning a very good wage. Then the first economic crisis out of my control, lost me everything. Then a series of government actions that succeeded on making my money less valuable and my skills pointless. I almost made it out of poverty with nothing more than hard work. Now I am poorer than I have ever been and looks to get worse. On the plus side I am closer to the grave too. So at least I get out soon.
Bless you. I’m sorry to hear this. Keep going, the sunshine is literally round the corner!
It’s tough but I’m sure you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot and that shit is important too. Lots of love "
Thank you. It is not all bad. You have less fucks the older you get. Which makes things easier. |
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I'd say yes. I don't suppose I thought about it much, but 10 years ago I was just desperate for no more miscarriages, and healthy children. I got my wish and have 3 beautiful little pains in the arse running around my house
I've been promoted, paid off the mortgage, work part time by choice and continue to have a happy marriage. I think these last 10 years have been kind to us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I was suppressed and told I wasn't enough, I took a deep breath and walked away. I am now far happier, mortgage free and want for nothing, I am enough, so every cloud and all that. |
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As poor as ever! But make up for that in happiness! I'm getting my first 2 great grandchildren this year due 10 days apart! Retiring on a shoe string next July! But couldn't b happier! Have a couple of smallish pension pots due that I shall go to florida to see one of my daughters settled ! And I will b able to live out my remaining years happy and lots of great grand child sitting x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No ... my wife passed away ... life has turned upside down ..... to put it mildly  ... "
I am sorry. Lots of love. I don’t think I can say any more but sending you lots of love |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"10 years ago all I was hoping for was for my husbands chemo to end along with all the vile side effects and prolong his remission.
I was hoping that once it ended we could get on with normal family life with our two children.
He died 9 years ago.
Tbh I don’t think I’m in much of a better place now, - yes I’m proud of the fact I’ve kept our heads above water and brought my children up through the grief, but part of me thinks I should be ‘further on’, in a better position, and happy.
Losing your partner changes you.
So never did I think 10 years ago I’d be a different person. It is what it is
"
I’m really sorry. And I don’t know what to say but from reading this and seeing you on here, you’re such a beautiful person. Though you shouldn’t have had to go through what you have, you’re getting through it. Happiness will find you again if it hasn’t already. Sorry that life put you through this  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not there yet but compared to we’re I was this time last year, I was stuck in a job being bullied by senior “Managment”. Flamed up with them one day and walked, a few weeks of worry and I’ve got an amazing job that I love. I’m in my own house with one of my dream cars so I’m doing well atm but I’m not we’re I want to be yet lol "
You’ll get there. It sounds like you are incredible and strong. Well done you for overcoming these hurdles and being so great. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd say yes. I don't suppose I thought about it much, but 10 years ago I was just desperate for no more miscarriages, and healthy children. I got my wish and have 3 beautiful little pains in the arse running around my house
I've been promoted, paid off the mortgage, work part time by choice and continue to have a happy marriage. I think these last 10 years have been kind to us "
Ah you. Your little rainbows sound wonderful and I’m so glad you both got them. And the other stuff, well you’re pretty amazing. You know I think that. But lots of us here do too. May life continue to be kind to you both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, I was suppressed and told I wasn't enough, I took a deep breath and walked away. I am now far happier, mortgage free and want for nothing, I am enough, so every cloud and all that. "
How beautiful for you. I’m really happy to hear this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As poor as ever! But make up for that in happiness! I'm getting my first 2 great grandchildren this year due 10 days apart! Retiring on a shoe string next July! But couldn't b happier! Have a couple of smallish pension pots due that I shall go to florida to see one of my daughters settled ! And I will b able to live out my remaining years happy and lots of great grand child sitting x "
Beautiful beautiful beautiful. You are beautiful and this sounds beautiful. Congrats again on the great grandchildren. Sounds like you’ve found happiness which is the most important thing in this life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No! Not even in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd be where I am now and I'm extremely happy "
Oh you! You beautiful person. So glad you’re happy. That’s so lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not where I expected to be but I assume that I am right where I am supposed to be. Life changes and the best laid plans mean nothing. I am happy with where I am though. "
Wonderfully put. I love this. You are right where you’re supposed to be and I’m so happy for that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wish I could go back 25 years never mind ten . Especially knowing what I know now .  "
Though you can’t repeat the past, you can make your future better and I’m sure you do. |
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"Tell us and tell us why.
Fancied something different because it’s Bank holiday Monday and I’ve got a quarter life crisis round the corner apparently "
Absolutely not, yet I'm now with a woman worth 1000 times more than my filthy 'Amber Heard' class ex . So in a way I'm in a much better place |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
Been a strange 10 years, rock bottom 6 years ago but through some fluke I've come back out the other side better off than when I went in.
Shame I'm too scruffy to attract a sugar daddy 
But I think independence and paying off my own bricks and mortar is better for me in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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10 years ago, both our lives were very different indeed. One from the North and one from the South. Both completely different walks of life, both had been in bad relationships.
Now we have a great life together, getting married next year, in 2 years we will he mortgage free in our beautiful forever home.
To top it all we are on a fab swinging journey together, either of us expected that. |
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10 years ago my life was already in a good place …. 10 years later it’s still in a good place but in the meantime I found Fab and that has been an amazing and exciting addition to my life I didn’t expect or see coming. Thanks to my best friend a new door was opened
I’m quite content with where I am and what I have ….. should there come a time when I’m not I will change it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not in the slightest. 25 year old me had a very different path planned out. It's not bad that I'm not there though just different, I'm happy and that's what matters most.
Px |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can’t complain really. Not achieved all dreams and ambitions. But have achieved quite a bit. Have little to worry about and enjoying life at present. Planning the next decade of change and challenges.
It is never too late to reinvent yourself, so make the most of every day. Good luck to all on their path and may the smooth outweigh the rough. |
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Well, 10 years ago i would never have dreamed i would be here on fab! I would have been shocked at something like this and would not have thought myself the type. But i am very happy with the place i am at with it now. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I am actually.
10 years ago I was struggling with depression to the point I was self harming every day, had suicidal thoughts pretty much all day long, my partner would go to work not knowing what he would come home to or whether or not I'd be alive, and I was struggling with severe anxiety that was developing into agoraphobia which took away a few years of my life.
But I can't remember the last time I cut my skin, it has been about 5 years. I'm still anxious, but I get out every day and try to live my life as best as I can. And although I struggle with depression at times, it is manageable and doesn't weigh me down like it used to.
So yes, I'm where I hoped I would be. All I wanted was to be better, and I think I'm doing pretty well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"10 years ago all I was hoping for was for my husbands chemo to end along with all the vile side effects and prolong his remission.
I was hoping that once it ended we could get on with normal family life with our two children.
He died 9 years ago.
Tbh I don’t think I’m in much of a better place now, - yes I’m proud of the fact I’ve kept our heads above water and brought my children up through the grief, but part of me thinks I should be ‘further on’, in a better position, and happy.
Losing your partner changes you.
So never did I think 10 years ago I’d be a different person. It is what it is
"
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"Nope I never really think of my future. I try to live in the moment but I would add that most areas of my life are better than I would have expected if I did plan my life out.
SG
They’re better because you’re better than you even know. And living in the moment is just great. Makes for a happier life. "
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"10 years ago all I was hoping for was for my husbands chemo to end along with all the vile side effects and prolong his remission.
I was hoping that once it ended we could get on with normal family life with our two children.
He died 9 years ago.
Tbh I don’t think I’m in much of a better place now, - yes I’m proud of the fact I’ve kept our heads above water and brought my children up through the grief, but part of me thinks I should be ‘further on’, in a better position, and happy.
Losing your partner changes you.
So never did I think 10 years ago I’d be a different person. It is what it is
I’m really sorry. And I don’t know what to say but from reading this and seeing you on here, you’re such a beautiful person. Though you shouldn’t have had to go through what you have, you’re getting through it. Happiness will find you again if it hasn’t already. Sorry that life put you through this "
Thank you, you’re a lovely guy
It evaded me so far and the longer I go without it, it just seems further from reach |
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"Yes I am actually.
10 years ago I was struggling with depression to the point I was self harming every day, had suicidal thoughts pretty much all day long, my partner would go to work not knowing what he would come home to or whether or not I'd be alive, and I was struggling with severe anxiety that was developing into agoraphobia which took away a few years of my life.
But I can't remember the last time I cut my skin, it has been about 5 years. I'm still anxious, but I get out every day and try to live my life as best as I can. And although I struggle with depression at times, it is manageable and doesn't weigh me down like it used to.
So yes, I'm where I hoped I would be. All I wanted was to be better, and I think I'm doing pretty well. "
I’m sorry to read this but glad it’s now more manageable. Can empathise with the depression. Big love to you xxx |
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By *la87Man
over a year ago
acton |
Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be"
how does the wife feel about you being on n fab |
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By *la87Man
over a year ago
acton |
"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab "
Well... |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well..."
well what ? How does she feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel "
My question would be what does it have to do with you? |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel
My question would be what does it have to do with you? "
Was just thinking this but couldn’t be arsed getting involved! |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel
My question would be what does it have to do with you? "
because I’m nosey  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel
My question would be what does it have to do with you?
Was just thinking this but couldn’t be arsed getting involved!"
I normally don’t either but he seemed to be targeting that fella |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel
My question would be what does it have to do with you? because I’m nosey "
Stop badgering him, it’s none of your business |
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By *la87Man
over a year ago
acton |
"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel "
A mix of ignorance is bliss and my last meet was 6 years ago |
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I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be, financially we are in a much better place than we were 10 years ago through sheer hard work, our relationship seems to get better by the day, we are like teenagers with each other so that’s all great.
I feel like I’m a completely different person than I was 10 years ago though, when you suffer a big loss it changes your whole life forever, I feel like I’m stronger and weaker at the same time, I know that doesn’t make sense. I also feel slightly untouchable now, like there’s not much more that could happen to give me that much pain and I survived it.
I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread, to the people who aren’t in a better place im sure great things are happening for you x |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel
A mix of ignorance is bliss and my last meet was 6 years ago"
cool |
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"Ten years ago, I was spinning my wheels without direction now I'm doing fulfilling work, have a kid on the way and things are improving. I didn't have dreams. I'm way better off than I thought I'd be how does the wife feel about you being on n fab
Well... well what ? How does she feel
My question would be what does it have to do with you? because I’m nosey
Stop badgering him, it’s none of your business "
hardly badgering him I asked a question that often gets asked when married men are on as a single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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About 10 years ago I turned someone's life upside down, someone who I loved very much but, she did thank me later for my honesty and it gave her a new life too .. I hit a mid life crisis, early some may say but just knew it was time to make changes and with a near fatal rta that I suffered just made me think long and hard... Since then i've lived for a good time and not a long time and im not planning on making old bones but certainly ticking things off the list.. Live each day like it was your last people and don't put things off til tomorrow that you can do today. Go out with a bang not a whimper ... X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ten years ago life was pretty bleak. There was no plan then and there isnt really one now. But life has changed alot and definately for the better. As long as i do a little better each day Id call it a success |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, not at all. Was married for 22 years, together for 25 with 2 kids. All went tits up two years ago when I noticed rather suggestive messages pinging up on her phone lock screen. Confronted her about it and was laughed off as banter. From one person maybe. From several, there's no smoke without fire as they say. Plus we were going through money like water and I sure as hell wasn't spending it! Told her to pack her stuff as it wasn't the first time but she was adamant she wasn't going anywhere. Decided to be the bigger person and move out with nowt but my clothes and explained to the kids exactly why I was doing so. Let's just say a certain someone was on all the dating sites before I'd even left the family home! Set up my flat from scratch and spend as much time seeing the kids (teens) as I can. Can't bring myself to go into another full blown relationship so here I am just putting a bit of fun back into proceedings for myself. |
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