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Am I too sensitive?

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By *acystacey OP   Woman  over a year ago

Ceredigion

I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?

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By *ocusMan  over a year ago

Cambridge

Not at all. If you don’t feel comfortable with anything then you’re at liberty to say no.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha

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By *acystacey OP   Woman  over a year ago

Ceredigion


"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"

I'm inclined to agree

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By *mma29Couple  over a year ago

wirral

No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.

I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice.

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By *acystacey OP   Woman  over a year ago

Ceredigion


"No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.

I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice. "

I think I'm just going to give him a miss altogether

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.

I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice.

I think I'm just going to give him a miss altogether

"

I think that you are entirely right to give him a miss; too many arrogant entitled ill mannered men on here thinking that they are doing you a favour by meeting you; not worth it, you are better than that!

Lucy

X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Best swerved I agree. He sounds like a plank if he thinks you're going to run about catering to him

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By *oah VailMan  over a year ago

Dover

Personally, I’d tell him to sling his hook. Anyone not prepared to meet you half way isn’t worth your time.

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By *ammo89Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Not at all. Already pretty cheeky to expect you to travel further than him, and then to not be willing to meet and chat with you in a public place?

That's a bullet dodged for sure

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By *erces LetiferMan  over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

No, definitely not being too sensitive, OP. That guy sounds like a plonker, in all honestly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He doesn't deserve your company x

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By *aiseiMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

Nope, the fact he won’t entertain something as simple as the travel being 50/50 tells you all you need to know.

Sounds like someone just wants a car quickie.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You meet where you feel the most comfortable end of story. Plus there's the fact you're having to put in more than twice the distance he would have to.

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.

If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.

Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort.

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By *ife NinjaMan  over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.

If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.

Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort. "

^^^^this 100%. I always ask the lady to pick. She needs to feel comfortable and safe x

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By *jorkishMan  over a year ago

Seaforth

Sounds like a married man who doesn't want to be seen.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple  over a year ago

Lincoln


"Sounds like a married man who doesn't want to be seen. "

This was my first thought too. Services are an odd choice

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Meet where you are comfortable, strange he’d want to meet in a very loud and public place like a services area, is he a trucker? Rather than a quiet discreet coffee shop. The stranger thing is if he’s on here he’s probably read this thread and realised he’s f**ked up.

You meet where you want to, there has to be compromise between the two of you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Op. The fact you asked the question has you questioning it. If it doesn’t feel right, it isnt for you. Tell him.

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By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish


"Sounds like a married man who doesn't want to be seen. "

My thoughts exactly

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By *esthetic21Man  over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

you do exactly what you feel comfortable doing you're not obliged to do anything

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By *he Cram-BetweensCouple  over a year ago

A Club or Your Bedroom!

Sounds like he is going to be the controlling one..... personally it would be a no from me, do what you're comfortable with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Gut instinct

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

He sounds tight arsed or married.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman  over a year ago

North West


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Your safety is paramount.

If you want to meet in a public place, that's what should happen. Fwiw it's what I do for a first meet, no exceptions.

Don't get pushed into something you're not comfy with.

I've always said if someone isn't interested in meeting me for coffee, why would I want to get naked with them?

Good luck OP and stick to your guns.

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By *haneportsMan  over a year ago

portsmouth


"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds like he is going to be the controlling one..... personally it would be a no from me, do what you're comfortable with."

OP, definitely don't meet him ever.

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By *haneportsMan  over a year ago

portsmouth

Look after yourself first & foremost.

Do as you want. He sounds a selfish ignoramus.

There’s nothing wrong in being sensitive or caring, it just doesn’t need to be be abused.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Nope, the fact he won’t entertain something as simple as the travel being 50/50 tells you all you need to know.

Sounds like someone just wants a car quickie."

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By *partharmonyCouple  over a year ago

Ruislip

Is it one of those services with overnight accommodation? If it is, I suspect it's not your car he wants to be with you in. That would explain why he doesn't just want to go to a coffee shop.

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By *tarflyLouWoman  over a year ago

Preston

I agree with everything everyone has said. Also, in my experience a lot of men I’ve met seem to think that they’re going to get a hand job or blow job if they’re in a car with you, so I wouldn’t rule that out as something he’s thinking either!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lots of red flags here. You’re not being sensitive OP.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

I met a guy like this. Constantly tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit.

I don't like talking on the phone so when I declined his multiple attempts to call me he said it was stupid. I told him it gave me anxiety and he called me a liar. Yet when I insisted on meeting in s pub for the social we were arranging instead of a supermarket carpark he said busy pubs gave him anxiety and I was expected to be ok with it.

Stupidly agreed to meet him still. He agreed to a pub in the end but on the day he said it was too busy so we ended up meeting in s local sports stadium carpark.

I'd said from the start it was just a social and agreed but when I got there he kept trying to get me to sit in his car. It got a bit cold in the end so I did get in his car. Then he asked of I was going to suck his cock. I told him no and that was it. End of social

Looking back there were so many red flags and I was a bit of an idiot really.

Go with your gut X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

It's a bit selfish of him to not meet you half way and on your terms but hay this could be a test to check out your submissive level your willingness to please . I've not read your profile op and my first thought was from the prospect of a top looking for a bottom. So I could be totally wrong

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By *tarflyLouWoman  over a year ago

Preston


"I met a guy like this. Constantly tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit.

I don't like talking on the phone so when I declined his multiple attempts to call me he said it was stupid. I told him it gave me anxiety and he called me a liar. Yet when I insisted on meeting in s pub for the social we were arranging instead of a supermarket carpark he said busy pubs gave him anxiety and I was expected to be ok with it.

Stupidly agreed to meet him still. He agreed to a pub in the end but on the day he said it was too busy so we ended up meeting in s local sports stadium carpark.

I'd said from the start it was just a social and agreed but when I got there he kept trying to get me to sit in his car. It got a bit cold in the end so I did get in his car. Then he asked of I was going to suck his cock. I told him no and that was it. End of social

Looking back there were so many red flags and I was a bit of an idiot really.

Go with your gut X "

Totally backs up what I just said above! Good for you for telling him no though, completely selfish of him x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

At the services? Errr red flag for me! Definitely sounds fishy to me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do what you need to do for you only compromise when its earned

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By *VineMan  over a year ago

The right place

I wouldn't say you're being too sensitive. If you have misgivings about something then don't do it. Be true to your gut instincts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/05/22 08:20:57]

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By *oelDorianMan  over a year ago

vanaheim


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Definitely not do what makes you feel comfortable and safe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tell him to do one.

Your own personal safety comes before anything else. He's not exactly making much of an effort. Anyone with genuine intentions will not have any issues meeting you in a public place. Plenty of other guys on here who would be more than amenable to whatever first social meet you would suggest. Do what suits you and nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet. "

Sweet Jesus

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

Sweet Jesus "

Tibshelf services?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

Sweet Jesus

Tibshelf services? "

I’m on my way

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London

Definitely not too sensitive - massive avoid for me.

And seriously, what guy suggests meeting at what is effectively a petrol station? I'm really not sure that counts as a social!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No avoid whay your not comfortable with

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By *herryEatersCouple  over a year ago

East Cheshire


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Red flag !!, not too sensitive at all.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No you are not being too sensitive. Its your natural gut instinct warning you.

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By *otBrunetteHimCouple  over a year ago

birmingham

Why wouldn’t a man want to go out of his way to make sure you feel safe and comfortable around him? Surly a first meet would be the most important as if that’s a disaster then it’s the only one.

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By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 02/05/22 08:54:04]

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Wow! No you’re not being sensitive. Get rid!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your gut instinct is almost always right.. already shown his true colours.. you are not being overly sensitive at all

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By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

You are quite within your rights to refuse o/p. In this case and based on the information you have posted, I'd give this a miss.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No you are not being sensitive at all, I would not be happy either.

If he's not going to make an effort now then help potential future meets with this man.

Sorry, you are worth more than that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In my opinion if he isn't making an effort and coming closer then why bother with him

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill

Nope. I’d never agree to meet like that- where is the appeal in that?

You set out where to meet and if he doesn’t want to go, it’s his loss.

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By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

. You are not been sensitive why should you have to drive 50 minutes after a long day at work to a service station are you not worth a coffee , pub meal or restaurant meal.

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By *haneportsMan  over a year ago

portsmouth


"Wow! No you’re not being sensitive. Get rid!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Please don't do anything that's you're not comfortable with

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

No you're not being too sensitive. I imagine by looking at your location that 50 min drive isn't an easy one on rural roads either.

If he's not willing to compromise on distance on a social, he's unlikely to when it comes to future meetings. Essentially making it unsustainable for yourself

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. Get rid

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Another vote for him being a cockwomble.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Aside the distance thing, is the safety thing. It's much safer to meet inside the services in the coffee shop (actual coffee optional) and I would never allow a stranger to work out my car and registration, just in case, I'd park and want to move away from the car to meet them, for example, inside the coffee shop! Definitely do not agree to meet!

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't think you're being sensitive of unreasonable but I also don't think it's worth getting upset over or going back and forth if he's unwilling. Just wish him well and move on to find someone you're more on the same page with. I know it may be dissapointing but this is only someone you've been speaking to for a few days. And for the record, the idea that meeting for coffee makes it a date makes me roll my eyes so hard I may strain something.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire

Would go with gut instinct, better of binning him fully tbh..

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Neither of you have to do anything you don't want to where this is concerned. The two of you seem to have different ideas about meeting and that's fine. It just means you're not compatible

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By *.L.0460.Woman  over a year ago

Bognor Regis


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

He sounds like one of the many, many little boys on here who tell you they'll meet for a social, but actually try to manoeuvre the situation so that they can get noshed off in their car.

I have 3 words of advice;

Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!

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By *annyDanielleMan  over a year ago

Street, Somerset


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

A guy who just wants a quick fuck under the premise of it being more, and without wanting to put any effort in, cheek.

Bin this one, you can do better.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?

He sounds like one of the many, many little boys on here who tell you they'll meet for a social, but actually try to manoeuvre the situation so that they can get noshed off in their car.

I have 3 words of advice;

Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!"

Yes. That's what I was thinking too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If he can't spare 30 mins for a coffee and a chat to see if the spark is there in person it's his loss

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No you're not being too sensitive. I wouldn't meet anyone in their car either. If he can't compromise then he's not worth it. Stay safe OP x

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By *izandpaulCouple  over a year ago

merseyside


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

He says it all really.

His message should be translated to...

I'm a selfish twat who can't be bothered making any effort and unless you want to do things my way, I'm not really interested.

My advice, give him a large swerve.

I'd recommend attending a social or a club and chat to guys who have actually made the effort to go somewhere.

Once you have met a few guys it's not terribly hard to see why they are single.

Good luck.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

The guy has clearly said how he wants things to be. That's surely better than agreeing to something he's never going to accept and either letting the op down or worse attempting to change things once they meet. Yet still he's a bad guy. I sometimes think single men can't do right for doing wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We all have ways of meeting that is comfortable to us. It won't be the same for everyone so if you both have different ideas then you aren't compatible. I wouldn't compromise anything for a first meet. Ever. Next please!

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By *acystacey OP   Woman  over a year ago

Ceredigion


"You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable."

I tried the phone call route. Apparently he doesn't have a personal phone as he has a work one but can't give his number out he is well and truly binned!

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

"

That was my thought too

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By *al kalMan  over a year ago

london


"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

That was my thought too "

Or he would suggest going into the hotel at the mentioned service station where he would contribute £20 for the room and ask you to shout the other £50….

One for the can lady….

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"

This. Red flags galore. Give him a swerve.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

"

Miss Marple!

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By *anilla switchWoman  over a year ago

Hampshire


"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha

This. Red flags galore. Give him a swerve. "

Yes ^^^

Move on… you’re not being sensitive at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

no 100% stick to what you want

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By *unx2019Couple  over a year ago

Moray

Definately not too sensitive, in fact sounds perfectly positive and sensible to say no. Why should you make all the effort as it should be at least 50/50 on the effort side, in fact he should be make more of an effort and a compromise. Stay well clear xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your sensitivity isn't in question here. You are not too sensitive or being too sensitive.

If you are uncertain or uncomfortable doing something then do not do it. There are stories enough about people, particularly single women that chill us to the bone. Please do not take that kind of risk ever.

A service station is quite public - at the services itself though not in the car park. A proper coffee shop in a town centre is better as the footprint is lighter and it is more likely that you will be remembered. Service stations get thousands more visitors each day that faces blur into one.

Please, please, please be safe first.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

From my perspective(Mr), he should be doing everything he can to put your mind at rest, he is doing the opposite.

Expecting you do travel 2.5 times further than you and on his terms, that comes across as very self absorbed.

With the little effort he's willing to put in, don't expect too much.

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By *entleman JayMan  over a year ago

Wakefield

Lucky you! What a charmer. Lol.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.

If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.

Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort. "

Exactly this. Everyone I social with comes to me. Like it or lump it. I need to feel safe and comfortable. Majority of men completely respect that.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable.

I tried the phone call route. Apparently he doesn't have a personal phone as he has a work one but can't give his number out he is well and truly binned! "

What a load of bollocks. Definitely dodgy.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

Miss Marple! "

Speaking from experience, unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If he can't be bothered to meet you half way and expects to to do most of the travelling and won't go to a coffee shop.

That's your answer, you're not being oversensitive, it's because he wants the se and you've been chatting.

It's just you thinking could I miss out on a decent fb, as said if he can't meet you half way he doesn't deserve your time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Definitely not your safety comes first if your not comfortable with it don't meet he should understand in this day an age safety first.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d say you had lucky escape not meeting him. It sounds like he wanted to try on more with you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No you do what you feel is the safest x

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World

Sounds like a right tight arse who doesn't want to put his hand in his pocket and buy the lady a coffee and expects you to drive twice the distance, so definately tight with his fuel too!

But on a serious note I'd avoid if his not willing to meet in a more public space!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

sounds dodgy and if he were genuine he would at least meet some were halfway x

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By *ornucopiaMan  over a year ago

Bexley

Well, it certainly looks like you've found the right place for some free advice, whatever the various motivations behind it being given!

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Well, it certainly looks like you've found the right place for some free advice, whatever the various motivations behind it being given!"

Wha?

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By *abs..Woman  over a year ago

..

I don’t think you’re being sensitive. It should be something that suits you both by agreement.

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By *eah BabyCouple  over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I’d be giving this chappy a miss, he really doesn’t sound like much of a catch to me, all seems a little suspicious, especially not giving you his phone number. Just on a safety point I wouldn’t meet somebody I had chatted with for a couple of days on here on my own at a service station far from home and knowing nothing about them but maybe I’ve watched too many dramas

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

It’s a no from me and it’s a no from them

Don’t bother luv

Something sounds dodgy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hope you've told him we're to go by now

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