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Am I too sensitive?
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I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha |
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"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"
I'm inclined to agree  |
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"No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.
I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice. "
I think I'm just going to give him a miss altogether
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.
I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice.
I think I'm just going to give him a miss altogether
"
I think that you are entirely right to give him a miss; too many arrogant entitled ill mannered men on here thinking that they are doing you a favour by meeting you; not worth it, you are better than that!
Lucy
X |
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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
Not at all. Already pretty cheeky to expect you to travel further than him, and then to not be willing to meet and chat with you in a public place?
That's a bullet dodged for sure |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.
If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.
Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort. |
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"I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.
If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.
Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort. "
^^^^this 100%. I always ask the lady to pick. She needs to feel comfortable and safe x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meet where you are comfortable, strange he’d want to meet in a very loud and public place like a services area, is he a trucker? Rather than a quiet discreet coffee shop. The stranger thing is if he’s on here he’s probably read this thread and realised he’s f**ked up.
You meet where you want to, there has to be compromise between the two of you. |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
you do exactly what you feel comfortable doing you're not obliged to do anything  |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
Your safety is paramount.
If you want to meet in a public place, that's what should happen. Fwiw it's what I do for a first meet, no exceptions.
Don't get pushed into something you're not comfy with.
I've always said if someone isn't interested in meeting me for coffee, why would I want to get naked with them?
Good luck OP and stick to your guns. |
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"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.
Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.
Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like he is going to be the controlling one..... personally it would be a no from me, do what you're comfortable with."
OP, definitely don't meet him ever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope, the fact he won’t entertain something as simple as the travel being 50/50 tells you all you need to know.
Sounds like someone just wants a car quickie."
 |
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I agree with everything everyone has said. Also, in my experience a lot of men I’ve met seem to think that they’re going to get a hand job or blow job if they’re in a car with you, so I wouldn’t rule that out as something he’s thinking either! |
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I met a guy like this. Constantly tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit.
I don't like talking on the phone so when I declined his multiple attempts to call me he said it was stupid. I told him it gave me anxiety and he called me a liar. Yet when I insisted on meeting in s pub for the social we were arranging instead of a supermarket carpark he said busy pubs gave him anxiety and I was expected to be ok with it.
Stupidly agreed to meet him still. He agreed to a pub in the end but on the day he said it was too busy so we ended up meeting in s local sports stadium carpark.
I'd said from the start it was just a social and agreed but when I got there he kept trying to get me to sit in his car. It got a bit cold in the end so I did get in his car. Then he asked of I was going to suck his cock. I told him no and that was it. End of social 
Looking back there were so many red flags and I was a bit of an idiot really.
Go with your gut X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
It's a bit selfish of him to not meet you half way and on your terms but hay this could be a test to check out your submissive level your willingness to please . I've not read your profile op and my first thought was from the prospect of a top looking for a bottom. So I could be totally wrong |
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"I met a guy like this. Constantly tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit.
I don't like talking on the phone so when I declined his multiple attempts to call me he said it was stupid. I told him it gave me anxiety and he called me a liar. Yet when I insisted on meeting in s pub for the social we were arranging instead of a supermarket carpark he said busy pubs gave him anxiety and I was expected to be ok with it.
Stupidly agreed to meet him still. He agreed to a pub in the end but on the day he said it was too busy so we ended up meeting in s local sports stadium carpark.
I'd said from the start it was just a social and agreed but when I got there he kept trying to get me to sit in his car. It got a bit cold in the end so I did get in his car. Then he asked of I was going to suck his cock. I told him no and that was it. End of social
Looking back there were so many red flags and I was a bit of an idiot really.
Go with your gut X "
Totally backs up what I just said above! Good for you for telling him no though, completely selfish of him x |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
Definitely not do what makes you feel comfortable and safe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell him to do one.
Your own personal safety comes before anything else. He's not exactly making much of an effort. Anyone with genuine intentions will not have any issues meeting you in a public place. Plenty of other guys on here who would be more than amenable to whatever first social meet you would suggest. Do what suits you and nothing else.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.
Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.
Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet. "
Sweet Jesus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.
Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.
Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.
Sweet Jesus "
Tibshelf services?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.
Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.
Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.
Sweet Jesus
Tibshelf services? "
I’m on my way |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
Red flag !!, not too sensitive at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you are not being sensitive at all, I would not be happy either.
If he's not going to make an effort now then help potential future meets with this man.
Sorry, you are worth more than that |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
. You are not been sensitive why should you have to drive 50 minutes after a long day at work to a service station are you not worth a coffee , pub meal or restaurant meal. |
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No you're not being too sensitive. I imagine by looking at your location that 50 min drive isn't an easy one on rural roads either.
If he's not willing to compromise on distance on a social, he's unlikely to when it comes to future meetings. Essentially making it unsustainable for yourself |
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Aside the distance thing, is the safety thing. It's much safer to meet inside the services in the coffee shop (actual coffee optional) and I would never allow a stranger to work out my car and registration, just in case, I'd park and want to move away from the car to meet them, for example, inside the coffee shop! Definitely do not agree to meet! |
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I don't think you're being sensitive of unreasonable but I also don't think it's worth getting upset over or going back and forth if he's unwilling. Just wish him well and move on to find someone you're more on the same page with. I know it may be dissapointing but this is only someone you've been speaking to for a few days. And for the record, the idea that meeting for coffee makes it a date makes me roll my eyes so hard I may strain something. |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
He sounds like one of the many, many little boys on here who tell you they'll meet for a social, but actually try to manoeuvre the situation so that they can get noshed off in their car.
I have 3 words of advice;
Avoid, avoid, avoid!!! |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
A guy who just wants a quick fuck under the premise of it being more, and without wanting to put any effort in, cheek.
Bin this one, you can do better. |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?
He sounds like one of the many, many little boys on here who tell you they'll meet for a social, but actually try to manoeuvre the situation so that they can get noshed off in their car.
I have 3 words of advice;
Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!"
Yes. That's what I was thinking too |
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"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
He says it all really.
His message should be translated to...
I'm a selfish twat who can't be bothered making any effort and unless you want to do things my way, I'm not really interested.
My advice, give him a large swerve.
I'd recommend attending a social or a club and chat to guys who have actually made the effort to go somewhere.
Once you have met a few guys it's not terribly hard to see why they are single.
Good luck. |
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The guy has clearly said how he wants things to be. That's surely better than agreeing to something he's never going to accept and either letting the op down or worse attempting to change things once they meet. Yet still he's a bad guy. I sometimes think single men can't do right for doing wrong.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have ways of meeting that is comfortable to us. It won't be the same for everyone so if you both have different ideas then you aren't compatible. I wouldn't compromise anything for a first meet. Ever. Next please! |
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"You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable."
I tried the phone call route. Apparently he doesn't have a personal phone as he has a work one but can't give his number out  he is well and truly binned! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.
"
That was my thought too |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.
That was my thought too "
Or he would suggest going into the hotel at the mentioned service station where he would contribute £20 for the room and ask you to shout the other £50….
One for the can lady…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"
This. Red flags galore. Give him a swerve. |
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"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha
This. Red flags galore. Give him a swerve. "
Yes ^^^
Move on… you’re not being sensitive at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
no 100% stick to what you want |
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Definately not too sensitive, in fact sounds perfectly positive and sensible to say no. Why should you make all the effort as it should be at least 50/50 on the effort side, in fact he should be make more of an effort and a compromise. Stay well clear xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your sensitivity isn't in question here. You are not too sensitive or being too sensitive.
If you are uncertain or uncomfortable doing something then do not do it. There are stories enough about people, particularly single women that chill us to the bone. Please do not take that kind of risk ever.
A service station is quite public - at the services itself though not in the car park. A proper coffee shop in a town centre is better as the footprint is lighter and it is more likely that you will be remembered. Service stations get thousands more visitors each day that faces blur into one.
Please, please, please be safe first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From my perspective(Mr), he should be doing everything he can to put your mind at rest, he is doing the opposite.
Expecting you do travel 2.5 times further than you and on his terms, that comes across as very self absorbed.
With the little effort he's willing to put in, don't expect too much. |
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"I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.
If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.
Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort. "
Exactly this. Everyone I social with comes to me. Like it or lump it. I need to feel safe and comfortable. Majority of men completely respect that. |
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"You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable.
I tried the phone call route. Apparently he doesn't have a personal phone as he has a work one but can't give his number out he is well and truly binned! "
What a load of bollocks. Definitely dodgy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he can't be bothered to meet you half way and expects to to do most of the travelling and won't go to a coffee shop.
That's your answer, you're not being oversensitive, it's because he wants the se and you've been chatting.
It's just you thinking could I miss out on a decent fb, as said if he can't meet you half way he doesn't deserve your time. |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
Sounds like a right tight arse who doesn't want to put his hand in his pocket and buy the lady a coffee and expects you to drive twice the distance, so definately tight with his fuel too!
But on a serious note I'd avoid if his not willing to meet in a more public space! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.
We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.
I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.
He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.
I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.
I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Am I being too sensitive?"
sounds dodgy and if he were genuine he would at least meet some were halfway x |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
I’d be giving this chappy a miss, he really doesn’t sound like much of a catch to me, all seems a little suspicious, especially not giving you his phone number. Just on a safety point I wouldn’t meet somebody I had chatted with for a couple of days on here on my own at a service station far from home and knowing nothing about them but maybe I’ve watched too many dramas  |
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LvM
