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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's removed his post  "
Well i can’t remember the exact wording but for the sake of late comers , Op was asking should you ask someone if they are a post op trans or not . |
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The OP wasn't mean or derogatory. He asked for advice. Maybe he's seen someone he liked and wanted some advice on how to approach the subject. It's not always easy if you've not been in that situation before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's removed his post
Well i can’t remember the exact wording but for the sake of late comers , Op was asking should you ask someone if they are a post op trans or not . "
I remembered what he said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I thought it best from the replies!
It was a genuine thought process though and no disrespect meant at all to anyone  "
Start as you mean to go on OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's removed his post
Well i can’t remember the exact wording but for the sake of late comers , Op was asking should you ask someone if they are a post op trans or not . "
I would say it depends on the context.
You know at the end of a job interview they give you a chance to ask any question that you have... probably not the best time |
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"He's removed his post
Well i can’t remember the exact wording but for the sake of late comers , Op was asking should you ask someone if they are a post op trans or not . "
Yes he did ask. And instead of explaining why that is not appropriate he's been shot down. He wanted advice, I don't understand why that is such a terrible thing? |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Nowadays the question of what sex you are is on an application form for a job x"
But surely it's in the diversity monitoring form and you aren't obliged to answer?
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nowadays the question of what sex you are is on an application form for a job x
But surely it's in the diversity monitoring form and you aren't obliged to answer?
Gbat "
That's right, it's not for application purposes itself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's removed his post
Well i can’t remember the exact wording but for the sake of late comers , Op was asking should you ask someone if they are a post op trans or not .
Yes he did ask. And instead of explaining why that is not appropriate he's been shot down. He wanted advice, I don't understand why that is such a terrible thing? "
Not sure who shot him down but perhaps the question is better asked another way, why would it be okay to come out and ask someone about their medical history if they’ve not already opened that door?
If you’re not into someone then just move on, if you are them then should it matter?
I can assure you that if it does matter to you ( and I won’t try and change your mind if it does, it’s okay , you do you ) a post op trans woman will more than likely not be into you either ( and likewise they can do them). |
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"Nowadays the question of what sex you are is on an application form for a job x
But surely it's in the diversity monitoring form and you aren't obliged to answer?
Gbat "
Correct. Such forms are also completed anonymously and kept separate from the application form. |
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"He's removed his post
Well i can’t remember the exact wording but for the sake of late comers , Op was asking should you ask someone if they are a post op trans or not .
Yes he did ask. And instead of explaining why that is not appropriate he's been shot down. He wanted advice, I don't understand why that is such a terrible thing?
Not sure who shot him down but perhaps the question is better asked another way, why would it be okay to come out and ask someone about their medical history if they’ve not already opened that door?
If you’re not into someone then just move on, if you are them then should it matter?
I can assure you that if it does matter to you ( and I won’t try and change your mind if it does, it’s okay , you do you ) a post op trans woman will more than likely not be into you either ( and likewise they can do them). "
It matters to me not. But I do think in some instances it does matter about medical history. I'm not meeting if someone asks it's because I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and I'm dealing with the consequences of that. With people I meet I actually do say I have a scar after a 3rd degree tear after childbirth which can be sore. Knowing about my scars if I was to meet a trans female that would probably concern me as I wouldn't want to hurt them. As I can only go my own experience of being stitched up down there.
Maybe he didn't word it all right. But I don't think he was trying to be mean, only wanted advice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you again, I don’t hold any disrespect or harbour any I’ll intention to any gender or whatever people want to class themselves as, be it a man woman, he or she, they or them or even a bloody penguin lol
All I wondered was how would people suggest broaching the subject? Some ladies really do have a masculine look to them and I’m not someone who wants to hurt someone’s feelings but at the same Time I have my own feelings to consider  |
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By *ea wangMan
over a year ago
scunthorpe |
As I don't know the context of original post I won't offer any conjecture but hi know how hard it can be to word things on here without someone twisting or misconstruing what u write so it's always advisable to ask the poster to explain what they're trying to say rather than leap to conclusions ,u can't say slot of things these days without putting your foot 8n it with someone even if not intended or malicious as someone will always take offence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im just going to shorten the “reply to” section , hope that’s okay
"It matters to me not. But I do think in some instances it does matter about medical history. I'm not meeting if someone asks it's because I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and I'm dealing with the consequences of that. With people I meet I actually do say I have a scar after a 3rd degree tear after childbirth which can be sore. Knowing about my scars if I was to meet a trans female that would probably concern me as I wouldn't want to hurt them. As I can only go my own experience of being stitched up down there.
Maybe he didn't word it all right. But I don't think he was trying to be mean, only wanted advice. "
Oh indeed, in some cases a person may choose to be open about the info for whatever reason.
I myself make it quite clear about my past on my profile and who I am for no other reason than I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone who wasn’t comfortable knowing that. I won’t judge anyone who has a problem with it, it’s just easier to get that out of the way quick.
The point I guess I was trying to get at is that not everyone in my position feels that way and it is personal info that the person may not wish to share. If you can’t tell and they don’t tell, what’s the issue? If you can tell and it’s an issue, why ask it at all ?
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By *ea wangMan
over a year ago
scunthorpe |
"Im just going to shorten the “reply to” section , hope that’s okay
It matters to me not. But I do think in some instances it does matter about medical history. I'm not meeting if someone asks it's because I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and I'm dealing with the consequences of that. With people I meet I actually do say I have a scar after a 3rd degree tear after childbirth which can be sore. Knowing about my scars if I was to meet a trans female that would probably concern me as I wouldn't want to hurt them. As I can only go my own experience of being stitched up down there.
Maybe he didn't word it all right. But I don't think he was trying to be mean, only wanted advice.
Oh indeed, in some cases a person may choose to be open about the info for whatever reason.
I myself make it quite clear about my past on my profile and who I am for no other reason than I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone who wasn’t comfortable knowing that. I won’t judge anyone who has a problem with it, it’s just easier to get that out of the way quick.
The point I guess I was trying to get at is that not everyone in my position feels that way and it is personal info that the person may not wish to share. If you can’t tell and they don’t tell, what’s the issue? If you can tell and it’s an issue, why ask it at all ?
"
and u could say some men look effemiate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you again, I don’t hold any disrespect or harbour any I’ll intention to any gender or whatever people want to class themselves as, be it a man woman, he or she, they or them or even a bloody penguin lol
All I wondered was how would people suggest broaching the subject? Some ladies really do have a masculine look to them and I’m not someone who wants to hurt someone’s feelings but at the same Time I have my own feelings to consider "
Ask only if you are interested in them. If you aren’t really that into them, and don’t have intention to sleep with them and vice versa. Then don’t bother, I’d say!
You are entitled to ask if you are going to sleep with them Id say, just word it right I’m sure they would understand and happy to clarify |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Just be aware only a small percentage of transgender people ever have that surgery so if post op is a deal breaker to you I'd probably limit your approaches to those who choose to divulge that at the outset. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a post op girl who's very open about her transition.
As said above if we get on well and something physical could happen then yes I'd tell them what's in my knickers but if it's just a date then I wouldn't although it does say on my profile even though I requested to be listed in the female section on here after recent surgery because that's what I am
Kate x |
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"As a post op girl who's very open about her transition.
As said above if we get on well and something physical could happen then yes I'd tell them what's in my knickers but if it's just a date then I wouldn't although it does say on my profile even though I requested to be listed in the female section on here after recent surgery because that's what I am
Kate x "
you are so hot babes |
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