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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?"
I don't think you ever get over it, you come to terms with it as its another form of bereavement of what will never be.
Me? I delete any and all exchanged images, messages, block everywhere I've known to be in touch with such as media sources. I'm clinical when something ends purely because I need to "cleanse" myself from that individual, preoccupy myself with other things and people. Allow myself to grieve. Take time out from romance and find myself again.
Huge ((((hugs)))) if you're going through this - doesn't matter what we are, it doesn't get any easier. |
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"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?"
I know it’s cliche but time does heal. I’ve been in this situation a few times in my adult life, it hurts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think time is the best healer time is the enemy of all things time only takes and keeps ticking"
wasnt arguing or being a cunt btw im just not a fan of this answer i dont buy it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?
I don't think you ever get over it, you come to terms with it as its another form of bereavement of what will never be.
Me? I delete any and all exchanged images, messages, block everywhere I've known to be in touch with such as media sources. I'm clinical when something ends purely because I need to "cleanse" myself from that individual, preoccupy myself with other things and people. Allow myself to grieve. Take time out from romance and find myself again.
Huge ((((hugs)))) if you're going through this - doesn't matter what we are, it doesn't get any easier. "
Yeah, I've done that. I'm ok when I'm busy, but when I'm not, I'm really not ok.
It's just horrible.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?
I don't think you ever get over it, you come to terms with it as its another form of bereavement of what will never be.
Me? I delete any and all exchanged images, messages, block everywhere I've known to be in touch with such as media sources. I'm clinical when something ends purely because I need to "cleanse" myself from that individual, preoccupy myself with other things and people. Allow myself to grieve. Take time out from romance and find myself again.
Huge ((((hugs)))) if you're going through this - doesn't matter what we are, it doesn't get any easier.
Yeah, I've done that. I'm ok when I'm busy, but when I'm not, I'm really not ok.
It's just horrible. "
its the quiet times i found it handy to make up extra jobs to do when i need a distraction or hit the gym maybe hit some bags until im tired worked well in the early days too |
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Find something you love about you, even if its something tiny.... work on building up your confidence and self love, easier said than done when your heart has been smashed and rejection makes you feel crappy....
The better you feel about you, the easier it is to leave the pain behind xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?
I don't think you ever get over it, you come to terms with it as its another form of bereavement of what will never be.
Me? I delete any and all exchanged images, messages, block everywhere I've known to be in touch with such as media sources. I'm clinical when something ends purely because I need to "cleanse" myself from that individual, preoccupy myself with other things and people. Allow myself to grieve. Take time out from romance and find myself again.
Huge ((((hugs)))) if you're going through this - doesn't matter what we are, it doesn't get any easier.
Yeah, I've done that. I'm ok when I'm busy, but when I'm not, I'm really not ok.
It's just horrible. its the quiet times i found it handy to make up extra jobs to do when i need a distraction or hit the gym maybe hit some bags until im tired worked well in the early days too"
.
I should do that instead of hitting the alcohol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Find something you love about you, even if its something tiny.... work on building up your confidence and self love, easier said than done when your heart has been smashed and rejection makes you feel crappy....
The better you feel about you, the easier it is to leave the pain behind xx "
Pretty hard right now.
It took me years to get where I was, to even trust another guy.
Now I'm right back there. |
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"I don't think you ever get over it, it is something you just learn to live with x"
Mine were a while back and it took time to get over it. Now I still have the lovely memories. I also have the resolve not to let it happen again, I’m too old if nothing else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?
I don't think you ever get over it, you come to terms with it as its another form of bereavement of what will never be.
Me? I delete any and all exchanged images, messages, block everywhere I've known to be in touch with such as media sources. I'm clinical when something ends purely because I need to "cleanse" myself from that individual, preoccupy myself with other things and people. Allow myself to grieve. Take time out from romance and find myself again.
Huge ((((hugs)))) if you're going through this - doesn't matter what we are, it doesn't get any easier.
Yeah, I've done that. I'm ok when I'm busy, but when I'm not, I'm really not ok.
It's just horrible. its the quiet times i found it handy to make up extra jobs to do when i need a distraction or hit the gym maybe hit some bags until im tired worked well in the early days too.
I should do that instead of hitting the alcohol. "
the alcohol only made me dwell more and become desperate it dont really help or didnt me anyway |
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"Find something you love about you, even if its something tiny.... work on building up your confidence and self love, easier said than done when your heart has been smashed and rejection makes you feel crappy....
The better you feel about you, the easier it is to leave the pain behind xx
Pretty hard right now.
It took me years to get where I was, to even trust another guy.
Now I'm right back there. "
I’m sure someone has beaten me to it but -
The best way to get over a man is to get under another one! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Find something you love about you, even if its something tiny.... work on building up your confidence and self love, easier said than done when your heart has been smashed and rejection makes you feel crappy....
The better you feel about you, the easier it is to leave the pain behind xx
Pretty hard right now.
It took me years to get where I was, to even trust another guy.
Now I'm right back there.
I’m sure someone has beaten me to it but -
The best way to get over a man is to get under another one! "
It's really not. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Heart break is a bitch!
I looked at it like any other form of grief that needs to be worked through and find acceptance, that takes time and there’s no shortcuts unfortunately!
Avoiding the quiet can help short term but those feelings still need to be processed otherwise they will trip you up later.
Take the time, miss them, hate them, get over them. Try not to let it make you hard, there are others out there that deserve the whole you and you them |
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It's grief plain and simple.
So, you stop berating yourself for not being over it and treat yourself with care and compassion.
It also depends on what you mean by get over it. I'm over my last relationship in the sense that he could land at my doorstep and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I'd step over him if I had to.
Am I over the destruction it caused? Don't think so. I dunno. I'm celibate and untrusting and have been for 2 years with no passion or desire for sex. Is that because I'm still hurting deep down or because I finally see my self worth and am not prepared to give my last line of defence (my body) to another human? Couldn't tell ya.
Do I wish I was still fun loving and enjoyed sex rather than seeing it as the enemy? Yeah, course I fucking do. But, I've a wall up round my fanny and I don't know if the bricks will ever fall |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah, my area of expertise, if repeated experience counts as that.
It is impossible to know your circumstances, everyone will have different blind spots, insecurities and inner voices. Someone above talked about treating it as stages of grief or cutting the person completely out of your life. Some approaches will work for different people. The awful truth is that this time is best employed to take for yourself, to learn more about yourself and repair any gaps in the love you have for yourself. For me, it was going on courses and mixing with new people, discovering that I am not as terrible as I feel I am. But that was just me.
Probably the best advice is to not take advice, or at least not feel you are doing it wrong. Good luck, it totally sucks. Keep eating when you can and get out in nature whenever time allows.
As for your ex and his current life, don’t compare yourself if you can avoid it. Everyone is so completely different that comparisons are futile. Also, try to avoid making up stories in your head about other people’s thoughts, feelings or behaviours, you will almost inevitably be wrong and it is tantamount to self torture.
Stay strong, spend time with those that love you and see you on the other side. It really does get better. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ah, my area of expertise, if repeated experience counts as that.
It is impossible to know your circumstances, everyone will have different blind spots, insecurities and inner voices. Someone above talked about treating it as stages of grief or cutting the person completely out of your life. Some approaches will work for different people. The awful truth is that this time is best employed to take for yourself, to learn more about yourself and repair any gaps in the love you have for yourself. For me, it was going on courses and mixing with new people, discovering that I am not as terrible as I feel I am. But that was just me.
Probably the best advice is to not take advice, or at least not feel you are doing it wrong. Good luck, it totally sucks. Keep eating when you can and get out in nature whenever time allows.
As for your ex and his current life, don’t compare yourself if you can avoid it. Everyone is so completely different that comparisons are futile. Also, try to avoid making up stories in your head about other people’s thoughts, feelings or behaviours, you will almost inevitably be wrong and it is tantamount to self torture.
Stay strong, spend time with those that love you and see you on the other side. It really does get better. "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it's not the person you fall in love with, it's the idea that person. The heartbreak comes from the future you could have had and it's hard to process. Take time for yourself, self care is important. Remember while though it might not feel that way right now, they wasn't the person for you. Try not to grieve for something that never was and look forward to something that could be  |
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"Sometimes it's not the person you fall in love with, it's the idea that person. The heartbreak comes from the future you could have had and it's hard to process. Take time for yourself, self care is important. Remember while though it might not feel that way right now, they wasn't the person for you. Try not to grieve for something that never was and look forward to something that could be "
That’s so true. Not sure I’ve ever had my heart broken really. But I have found myself wondering if it’s actually him I miss or what we had and I’ve decided it’s what we had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?"
With difficulty, only time heals but the brain will probably never forget, sometimes the heart will never heal because of the hole left that person. Good luck tho OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it's not the person you fall in love with, it's the idea that person. The heartbreak comes from the future you could have had and it's hard to process. Take time for yourself, self care is important. Remember while though it might not feel that way right now, they wasn't the person for you. Try not to grieve for something that never was and look forward to something that could be "
For me, they are perfect.
Just I'm not perfect for them.
Which I know, it's not meant to be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you
"
Can not listen to that song! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you
Can not listen to that song!"
I just recently discovered it properly. (Funny related and ironic reason why) And played it. Quite a beautiful song really, and quite apt. 
* I have a FAF thread on here that’s much more fun you know   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it's not the person you fall in love with, it's the idea that person. The heartbreak comes from the future you could have had and it's hard to process. Take time for yourself, self care is important. Remember while though it might not feel that way right now, they wasn't the person for you. Try not to grieve for something that never was and look forward to something that could be
For me, they are perfect.
Just I'm not perfect for them.
Which I know, it's not meant to be. "
I feel the same way about my ex. Over a year on and I still miss him. I thought for a long time you're meant to "leave them behind" and "have closure". But I'm not sure that works for everyone. Maybe instead of leaving them behind, we move forward with the knowledge that we loved someone and that mattered. I hope your thread brings your heartbreak a bit of  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you mend a broken heart?
You fall in love, I mean head over heels completely in love.
Then they reject you.
When it's not the first time it's happened, how do you get over it and carry on?"
I have been stuck in heartbreak for 4 months now and shows no sign of letting up. If you work out how to get over it, please let me know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it's not the person you fall in love with, it's the idea that person. The heartbreak comes from the future you could have had and it's hard to process. Take time for yourself, self care is important. Remember while though it might not feel that way right now, they wasn't the person for you. Try not to grieve for something that never was and look forward to something that could be
That’s so true. Not sure I’ve ever had my heart broken really. But I have found myself wondering if it’s actually him I miss or what we had and I’ve decided it’s what we had. "
It's definitely both him and what we had that I miss.
Sorry you're going through this op. I'm going through similar after nearly 30 years together. That bitch hurts like hell, but I know I'll get through it. As will you. I don't think it's something you have to get over. For me, seeing it as a part of your life that gave you experiences and memories and not as something to be mourned helps. Life goes on and won't always be a struggle. |
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"
Pretty hard right now.
It took me years to get where I was, to even trust another guy.
Now I'm right back there. "
Yep, it's horrid, I've been there and it sucks...and not in a good way 
It's like grief, we don't get over it, we learn to live with it and it becomes part of us... but it will get easier... I know it doesn't feel that way now.
Keep talking, keep reaching out, it will pass xx |
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My experience of basically having my heart ripped out was very traumatic, but looking back it was because I allowed it to be traumatic, we cry because we're sad and only focus on the sadness, as hard as it was I stopped listening to all the songs that made me cry and tried to tell myself that the heartache will last as long as I let. it, now I look back and realise that I'm better off without her |
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It's completely gut wrenching. Especially when you have been abandoned and throw on the scrap heap. Time, keeping busy and in my case eventually the love of an amazing women. One day you realise you don't get it right first time but there is a better life out there. I honestly didn't see my life getting better, I was completely broken. Now I'm living my best life. Be kind to yourself and be ok with when you get it wrong going forward or have relapses or low points. They will happen but will get less. Forgive yourself and be your own best freind. You'll get there but whatever you do discover yourself, follow your gut and don't settle for anything less. Take care |
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Self reflection can be useful as well. 
