FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The intimidation factor
The intimidation factor
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"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at! "You’re not punching!!! You’re amazing | |||
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"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
You’re not punching!!!
You’re amazing "Awe thank you my lovely! Mwah! | |||
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"Yes. Absolutely. I'll flirt with anyone on the forum. But it takes a hell of a lot of soul searching for me to send that first message, and it has always been with a "to hell with it, all I have to lose is a little pride". Usually I bottle it and don't send the message, or it'll be about something forum related as opposed to "I think you're awful purty, wanna bump uglies". But it's because I'm well aware I'm not who most men fantasise about, especially on here, and past experience has taught me that putting myself out there to be shot down, laughed at or scorned is just going to hurt." You Are Amazing And utterly beautiful | |||
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"Some do they seem to think im this gym rat when im more little fat gobshite" The second part if that sentence is so true  | |||
Viv | |||
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"I wouldn't stand a chance with any of the fit guys in the furom. I got cheeky at the Manc social and said hello to some of these men. Not one of them acknowledged me with a veri. That says it all." I’m sorry , what do you mean they didn’t acknowledge you? Did you verify them and they didn’t reciprocate? | |||
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"I wouldn't stand a chance with any of the fit guys in the furom. I got cheeky at the Manc social and said hello to some of these men. Not one of them acknowledged me with a veri. That says it all." It doesn’t really though. I rarely do veris myself. I don’t really think to. | |||
"In my many years on Fab, there's only ever been one man I've been intimidated by. It wasn't solely his photos though, it was his photos with others. He was/is still beautiful. Beautiful body. Beautiful face. Decent nose. Good accent (yep, if you're reading this, I'm talking about you Conrad (not his real name!)). And that way with words? Honestly, it takes someone from my industry to have such control with language. Fricking beautiful. And I convinced myself there would be absolutely zero chance he'd be interested in me - I was very low in self esteem, saw other women as infinitely better than me. More desirable. How could someone like him even notice me? The chubby posh twat with big boobs. But. We met. Met again. You get the idea. And I realised, it wasn't so much that my insecurities about talking to him came from a place of prejudice. It was me, beating myself up and deciding I wasn't good enough. Not that he was too good. So now, I'm embracing the squishy. If I like the look of someone, I'll message them. Talk to them. Be happy in me, accept that there's not a league. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I think absolutely no one could fancy me. But it's boring and tiring hating yourself. Life is too short." 
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"Yes. Absolutely. I'll flirt with anyone on the forum. But it takes a hell of a lot of soul searching for me to send that first message, and it has always been with a "to hell with it, all I have to lose is a little pride". Usually I bottle it and don't send the message, or it'll be about something forum related as opposed to "I think you're awful purty, wanna bump uglies". But it's because I'm well aware I'm not who most men fantasise about, especially on here, and past experience has taught me that putting myself out there to be shot down, laughed at or scorned is just going to hurt. You Are Amazing And utterly beautiful " You Made Me Well Up And back at you gorgeous | |||
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"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at! "I've obviously intimidated you, as I'm blocked | |||
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"This thread has some interesting replies " Yeah, there's some stunners on here, and a few friends and hotlisters too. Do say hi if you want x | |||
"I wouldn't stand a chance with any of the fit guys in the furom. I got cheeky at the Manc social and said hello to some of these men. Not one of them acknowledged me with a veri. That says it all." Did you veri them? | |||
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"Some do they seem to think im this gym rat when im more little fat gobshite The second part if that sentence is so true " | |||
"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
I've obviously intimidated you, as I'm blocked "I was blocked first I found.  just saying | |||
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"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
I've obviously intimidated you, as I'm blocked
I was blocked first I found. just saying "Really? How's that happened? See if I can work that out x | |||
"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
I've obviously intimidated you, as I'm blocked
I was blocked first I found. just saying "You're not on my list (it's only got two people on it) x | |||
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"I’ve never felt intimidated and have messaged men before, but I do doubt myself sometimes when a young good looking gym fit guy would msg, I do wonder why they would be interested in an old couch potato" You're having a laugh, right? Gorgeous lady x | |||
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"I’ve never felt intimidated and have messaged men before, but I do doubt myself sometimes when a young good looking gym fit guy would msg, I do wonder why they would be interested in an old couch potato" They message because they are not blind and your pictures are fantastic  | |||
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"I rarely approach men for a myriad of reasons. I know I’m not what most men find attractive on Fab (height, size etc) so I just wouldn’t put myself out there. We’ve all seen the threads where your ideal type of man/woman etc is stated. I’m rubbish at flirting and I’m not very gregarious so can’t flirt or chat my way into a man’s attention. I’m also very, very shy and also I’m old fashioned and like to be wooed (dating wise, not fab wise). " You're very attractive, but I'm 1 year too old x | |||
"I absolutely get intimidated by good looks and fit bodies. This is partly because I think they wouldn’t be interested in me because they’re out of my league and partly because I’d feel even worse about myself next to them. I’ve turned interest down from people I’ve thought are really hot on here because I can’t think why on Earth they’d be interested in me. I also wouldn’t message any man first because I would never assume they’d be interested. Yes I have issues "Would you feel bad about yourself next to any "gym fit" guy? Even if they were a colleague? Or a friend? Or a friend with benefits? Would you not socialize at all with a fit guy? In any environment? | |||
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"I've never been intimidated by guys on here. Why would I be? They're just people. However, when I was first on here, I wouldn't message attractive or gym fit guys 'cos I thought they'd find me physically repulsive (as I do, 50% of the time). Thankfully that's now changing. I've met some wonderful guys who DO find me attractive & that's done wonders for my confidence. Yes, there are still guys who aren't attracted to me, but have become good friends instead. That's just as important to me. X" Red, as ever, you pretty much sum up my feelings too. I do message stereotypically "fit" guys, who I might find attractive and had various responses (mainly no, ta ). I don't find all "gym fit" guys attractive, by the way, and realising a physically attractive person is an unpleasant person is enough to put me right off.
I also don't want to be fetishised as a "BBW" or similar, which seems to be a thing among a subset of guys, so that further puts me off messaging or replying, if they refer to me as a BBW.
It is what it is.... | |||
"I wouldn't stand a chance with any of the fit guys in the furom. I got cheeky at the Manc social and said hello to some of these men. Not one of them acknowledged me with a veri. That says it all." Eh? I chatted to pretty much everyone and didn’t get verified. It’s not what I go for. I go to chat to my mates and maybe even make new ones. I think you know my answer to your question op. If I like someone I’ll message. Sometimes I’m their type - sometimes I’m not. It’s no big deal. My self esteem isn’t reliant on whether a stranger on a swinging site fancies me or not. X | |||
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"I wouldn't stand a chance with any of the fit guys in the furom. I got cheeky at the Manc social and said hello to some of these men. Not one of them acknowledged me with a veri. That says it all." Not really. That says they didn't write a verification, nothing else. I said hello to probably 98% of the people who walked through the door at the social, and had further conversation with a fair few people, but I didn't get verified by most of them, nor did I verify most of them. It doesn't mean anything other than we didn't verify each other. You said hi to lot of people at the social, I was impressed because you took the bull by the horns (so to speak). Why not do it again and verify them? | |||
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"I rarely approach men for a myriad of reasons. I know I’m not what most men find attractive on Fab (height, size etc) so I just wouldn’t put myself out there. We’ve all seen the threads where your ideal type of man/woman etc is stated. I’m rubbish at flirting and I’m not very gregarious so can’t flirt or chat my way into a man’s attention. I’m also very, very shy and also I’m old fashioned and like to be wooed (dating wise, not fab wise). Luna you're stunning. Anyone who doesn't find you attractive is very misguided indeed x " | |||
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"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ " Well said Granny | |||
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"I like this question. I have always figured I’d be too much of a hag for a certain kind of man. I don’t do make up. I don’t do fillers. I’m severely under stocked in the lingerie department, mostly because my tits are too small to pull anything off. All of these are very superficial things. But in my experience, certain types of men expect such things as a given, and if I can’t meet that basic expectation, I don’t envision them making it past that to get to the non superficial stuff. On the flip side, this concept of punching above your weight was alien to me until a couple of years ago when I met someone that I really liked but they thought they could never be good enough for me because they perceived this beauty and the beast sort of thing that I didn’t even realise existed. In the end, the insecurities became too much for either of us to bear. I don’t like the punching concept. It stops people from being themselves, and they focus too much on the skin deep and not enough on the natural chemistry. So now, I avoid people who think they’re punching. I don’t need my heart broke a second time. " I can identify with a lot of this post. I also don't do make-up, nails, fake tan, don't own a huge lingerie collection or heels for that matter... which very well may make me more unattractive to many men on a swinger's/sex site. Yet I have had no problems in the past on my single woman's profile to initiate conversation with a man (that's how I met himself). However, I do look to see if there is the potential of compatibility through the profile and Forum interactions. I don't believe in punching above your weight - there's just incompatibility. That's my firm belief. Confidence issues can be lethal to any relationship. I know I won't be attractive, physically and personality wise, to everyone and vice versa. Sometimes that chemistry is there for one but not the other. That's life. But it didn't mean that I wouldn't take a chance on a profile that was of interest to me... and knockbacks won't change that either. | |||
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"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ " You beat me to it | |||
"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ You beat me to it "A panting Fanny though | |||
"Yes. An extremely attractive mid 30s-40s guy with a cracking body, personality and who seems to have his shit together? Would tick all the boxes if I were looking for a man but I'd also automatically assume they would not be interested in a woman pushing 50. Especially if their verifications suggest their type is a hot as fuck 20 something with no wrinkles or stretch marks and tits he could rest his pint on. Not looking for anyone to blow smoke up my arse btw. Just giving an honest answer." Oh......(stops writing PM)  xx | |||
"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ You beat me to it
A panting Fanny though "Raises hand for that | |||
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"I rarely message first. The few times i have i got ignored so now if I see a guy I like look of I look at his profile and verifications. If he's meet women the complete opposite to me, I usually block & move on. " They ignore you? Idiots. Raise your age range by a year.....better class of man x | |||
"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ You beat me to it
A panting Fanny though
Raises hand for that "Just thought it was a menopausal thing | |||
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"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ You beat me to it
A panting Fanny though
Raises hand for that
Just thought it was a menopausal thing "Only panting fanny I ever saw was at the 3.20 at Doncaster. Came last xx | |||
"I rarely message first. The few times i have i got ignored so now if I see a guy I like look of I look at his profile and verifications. If he's meet women the complete opposite to me, I usually block & move on. They ignore you? Idiots. Raise your age range by a year.....better class of man x"The ones who would be interested in meeting me are usually mikes away haha | |||
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"I rarely message first. The few times i have i got ignored so now if I see a guy I like look of I look at his profile and verifications. If he's meet women the complete opposite to me, I usually block & move on. They ignore you? Idiots. Raise your age range by a year.....better class of man x
The ones who would be interested in meeting me are usually mikes away haha "Have train, can travel xx | |||
"Not especially. However if their profile says they are looking for someone over 30 under 50 with skyward pointing boobs, overly long legs with a panting fanny who takes it up the jacksie and is incapable of 'no' ..... I wouldn't push my luck ........ You beat me to it
A panting Fanny though
Raises hand for that
Just thought it was a menopausal thing "Oh. Yes of course that's totally what I interpreted it as.  | |||
"I have messaged many men on fab and never feel intimidated by any profile. I just say what I want to say and if I don't get a response then it is not the end of the world. Life is too short to sit on the fence." Ahem....my inbox must be broken x | |||
"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
You’re not punching!!!
You’re amazing "I hate the term "punching above my weight" - everyone has their qualities and looks is only part of the whole  | |||
"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
You’re not punching!!!
You’re amazing
I hate the term "punching above my weight" - everyone has their qualities and looks is only part of the whole "I'm more Northern conference trying to play Premier league | |||
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"I'll admit to not messaging men that I deem too attractive for me, must be to do with my own insecurities, was always the lanky, flat chested ginger at school "So wrong. So lovely xx | |||
"O yes, totally intimidated tbh. I'm not very confident, plus I'm fat and short I don't do make up, lean towards scruffy at all times although I do try and struggle for time and can't accommodate. Not exactly a catch lol. I'll wink if I'm very brave. " You're pretty. | |||
"O yes, totally intimidated tbh. I'm not very confident, plus I'm fat and short I don't do make up, lean towards scruffy at all times although I do try and struggle for time and can't accommodate. Not exactly a catch lol. I'll wink if I'm very brave. " you should wear your hair down more, looks great on you x | |||
"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
You’re not punching!!!
You’re amazing
I hate the term "punching above my weight" - everyone has their qualities and looks is only part of the whole
I'm more Northern conference trying to play Premier league "Nonsense. We may not be George Clooney (insert alternative) but I can tell you've a great sense of humour and I bet you're a caring sort too - you dress well and you've had favourable veris. Conference indeed! | |||
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"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
You’re not punching!!!
You’re amazing
I hate the term "punching above my weight" - everyone has their qualities and looks is only part of the whole
I'm more Northern conference trying to play Premier league
Nonsense. We may not be George Clooney (insert alternative) but I can tell you've a great sense of humour and I bet you're a caring sort too - you dress well and you've had favourable veris. Conference indeed!"Cheers fella | |||
"Definitely yes for me, they look great, body type (and I don't mean gym toned either), I'm just punching well above! I think I would be laughed at!
You’re not punching!!!
You’re amazing
I hate the term "punching above my weight" - everyone has their qualities and looks is only part of the whole
I'm more Northern conference trying to play Premier league
Nonsense. We may not be George Clooney (insert alternative) but I can tell you've a great sense of humour and I bet you're a caring sort too - you dress well and you've had favourable veris. Conference indeed!
Cheers fella "No worries | |||
"It happens the other way too. I don't lack confidence in person but I get really wound up with an introduction message. I just start wondering why that gorgeous woman would take the time to read it. Obviously if you don't try you get no where though so I stay polite and don't hassle." It’s probably bias but it always feels to me like beautiful fir women , what I call the insta women do reply but are such hard work like short replies , waiting hrs / days for replies making no effort to go deeper, it feels like they literally are messaging dozens of men so I just give up | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x" | |||
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"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x" FACTS! | |||
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"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x" Problem is though lovely, these feelings follow self esteem, low self worth and rejection have been drummed into some people so relentlessly and so harshly for so long that they're stuck now. I love to see people with the confidence to just be them, and to go for what they want no matter what, but I doubt I'll ever be one of them. | |||
"This is a great question again OP and the answers so far have been really interesting to read. It has brought another question to mind but I will leave that for another thread later" Just to say, your pictures are amazing. Ms x | |||
"Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not." Although there is plenty of space inside my head, could you get out of that particular part of it please? You’re disturbing all my other neuroses….. | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Problem is though lovely, these feelings follow self esteem, low self worth and rejection have been drummed into some people so relentlessly and so harshly for so long that they're stuck now. I love to see people with the confidence to just be them, and to go for what they want no matter what, but I doubt I'll ever be one of them. "Oh I absolutely understand that some people cannot help feeling this way and by no means was I being dismissive. Wouldn’t do if we were all the same - but you are a truly special human being whether you recognise it or not, you are! xx | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Problem is though lovely, these feelings follow self esteem, low self worth and rejection have been drummed into some people so relentlessly and so harshly for so long that they're stuck now. I love to see people with the confidence to just be them, and to go for what they want no matter what, but I doubt I'll ever be one of them.
Oh I absolutely understand that some people cannot help feeling this way and by no means was I being dismissive. Wouldn’t do if we were all the same - but you are a truly special human being whether you recognise it or not, you are! xx"I would never have thought you were being dismissive... I just thought it was worth pointing out. And thank you. I may not see it in me... but I see it in you | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Problem is though lovely, these feelings follow self esteem, low self worth and rejection have been drummed into some people so relentlessly and so harshly for so long that they're stuck now. I love to see people with the confidence to just be them, and to go for what they want no matter what, but I doubt I'll ever be one of them.
Oh I absolutely understand that some people cannot help feeling this way and by no means was I being dismissive. Wouldn’t do if we were all the same - but you are a truly special human being whether you recognise it or not, you are! xx
I would never have thought you were being dismissive... I just thought it was worth pointing out.
And thank you. I may not see it in me... but I see it in you "I just adore you, always will x | |||
. I guess i am just a bit 'old school' in that i usually don't make the first move. Having said that it wouldn't stop me either | |||
"What a circle jerk."  Oh Libby. | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Problem is though lovely, these feelings follow self esteem, low self worth and rejection have been drummed into some people so relentlessly and so harshly for so long that they're stuck now. I love to see people with the confidence to just be them, and to go for what they want no matter what, but I doubt I'll ever be one of them.
Oh I absolutely understand that some people cannot help feeling this way and by no means was I being dismissive. Wouldn’t do if we were all the same - but you are a truly special human being whether you recognise it or not, you are! xx
I would never have thought you were being dismissive... I just thought it was worth pointing out.
And thank you. I may not see it in me... but I see it in you
I just adore you, always will x"Get a room you two!! And take me along | |||
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"I would feel intimidated and worried that a young fit handsome guy was just on a milf hunt. I wouldn't want to be a tick in the mature women section. I would wonder why they were not looking for an equally young fit beautiful woman instead of an old bird with wobbly bits.." 1) You look fantastic, so there’s no reason in that respect that someone younger wouldn’t be interested. 2) As someone who, in their 20s, actively sought older women, in my personal experience there was one huge benefit with women in their late 30s/40s/early 50s at that point; trust. On the whole I found them far more trustworthy, transparent and direct than women of my own age. | |||
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"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc " It's interesting, the lack of confidence thing, cos most of us experience it and yet in others we can't always transfer the feeling. Or something that makes sense. | |||
"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc " I know what you mean but occasionally you have to say "ah fuck it" | |||
"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc " I agree with that TG. My unwillingness to approach gorgeous men isn't because I think they're twatbiscuits. It's because I'm a twatbiscuit. | |||
"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc I agree with that TG. My unwillingness to approach gorgeous men isn't because I think they're twatbiscuits. It's because I'm a twatbiscuit. " Twatbiscuit ! I'm writing that one down | |||
"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc " i have had the same feelings on here, but in real life, i have talked to ladies that i thought were out of my league and they said they would prefer the connection rather than looks, FAB is all about looks in my eyes , until you get to know people, being the person you genuinely are will always bring you the person you will be happy with | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x" Mmmm...kinda agree & disagree. I have pretty good self esteem, know my worth, and find myself in situations now as an older woman that I'd have talked myself out of when younger. Maybe part of my reluctance to message younger, attractive men on here is down to how nabbing an older lady is sometimes presented like an item on a bucket list. And I know I'm so much more than a box to be ticked. | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Mmmm...kinda agree & disagree. I have pretty good self esteem, know my worth, and find myself in situations now as an older woman that I'd have talked myself out of when younger. Maybe part of my reluctance to message younger, attractive men on here is down to how nabbing an older lady is sometimes presented like an item on a bucket list. And I know I'm so much more than a box to be ticked. "Indeed you are. You're a rare thing on here, honest, gorgeous and funny xx | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Mmmm...kinda agree & disagree. I have pretty good self esteem, know my worth, and find myself in situations now as an older woman that I'd have talked myself out of when younger. Maybe part of my reluctance to message younger, attractive men on here is down to how nabbing an older lady is sometimes presented like an item on a bucket list. And I know I'm so much more than a box to be ticked.
Indeed you are. You're a rare thing on here, honest, gorgeous and funny xx"Xxx. You're just after a pint of my finest blue top | |||
"No, never Intimidation to me is by product of low self esteem, fear of rejection or little self worth which in turn is projected into these statements that ‘good looking people’ are full of themselves. People who suffer from self doubt talk themselves out of many situations because they convince themselves it’s not worth it, focus on the worst possible outcome or they believe someone attractive can’t possibly be a non arrogant prick. There guard is up before any form of interaction, like a sense of self preservation almost - it’s a fear of being ignored or overlooked that prevents them for going for things they want in life that could be anything from a person to a job or what not. Good looks are something different to everyone we’re all attracted to different things - if I see a profile and I like the look of the person, I’ll tend to read there bio - lack of effort in how the write would indicate to me that they expect to get by on looks alone, that there’s perhaps an arrogance there which may put me off messaging but I never think that persons too good for me or too whatever x Mmmm...kinda agree & disagree. I have pretty good self esteem, know my worth, and find myself in situations now as an older woman that I'd have talked myself out of when younger. Maybe part of my reluctance to message younger, attractive men on here is down to how nabbing an older lady is sometimes presented like an item on a bucket list. And I know I'm so much more than a box to be ticked.
Indeed you are. You're a rare thing on here, honest, gorgeous and funny xx
Xxx.
You're just after a pint of my finest blue top "You know me better than that.....but if it's spare, my special k could do with a splash xx | |||
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"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc I agree with that TG. My unwillingness to approach gorgeous men isn't because I think they're twatbiscuits. It's because I'm a twatbiscuit. " Ahem. | |||
"I'm not scared to message anyone, anywhere, but, I don't want someone thinking I'm a dead cert for a blow job just because I've shown interest. Even hot men get desperate sometimes "That's true! | |||
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"I think I messaged you first once OP I don’t mind messaging first if I think it’s worth my time and effort and I’m rarely wrong about that decision. "Indeed you have...and I replied | |||
"I think I messaged you first once OP I don’t mind messaging first if I think it’s worth my time and effort and I’m rarely wrong about that decision.
Indeed you have...and I replied "See I wasn’t wrong in my decision | |||
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"Yep. I'll start from the start.... Emotionally rejected by the mother from as early as I can remember. Couldn't do right for doing wrong. In a childs mind that's rejection, from the person who's supposed to love and care for you the most. That shit does some deep damage. Fit in with most groups at school, until I stood up for someone who was being bullied and became the target of said bullying. Last 2 years of secondary school were pure hell. I barely attended my final year due to it. Rejected ny my peers. Found a tribe... my ice hockey teammates. Yaaay, I'm cool again. I fits. Was great for a shag, but not as a partner (most lads in my late teens) so rejected based on who I was rather than the fact I possess a vageeeen. My sons dad, wouldn't see my side of things regarding most things. Would ask his parents opinion on everything. So, my voice was rejected, my opinions rejected, felt like my worth was being rejected. Next relationship was an abusive one. Oh yaaay, not only was my soul rejected coz he tried to change me, my life was too as it was very nearly beaten out of me. That shit devalues you internally even though you know its not true. Then, my last ex. The one who was a beauty to look at, the popular one. Now, he didn't reject me. In fact he doted on me. He was however, incredibly aware of my distaste and sickening of cheating and need for truth based upon my experience with the abusive one. Aaaand, none of that mattered, because it was rejected when he chose to enter a "relationship" with me, whilst his wife was blissfully unaware at home, and I was blissfully unaware that she was blissfully unaware thinking her life was hunky dory and her husband wasn't dick deep in someone else. So yeah, rejection happens, but I do think how it happens can impact greatly on how we perceive it. Now, I know full well I'm awesome. I also know full well that I'm not everyone's tipple and that's fine, that rejection is attraction based. Have I felt shit when people haven't been attracted to me and I am them? Course I have, I'm human. What I struggle to handle and am not prepared to put myself through is having my morals rejected via bullshit or deception and falling for a line. Hence I'm a celibate dry old hag with no desire to be desired. " Oh, my main point which I forgot to write coz as well as dry I'm also a dipshit, I think that .... When we fear rejection, deep down its actually us, rejecting ourselves. | |||
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"For me it's pure lack of confidence and low self esteem and the age old no way would he be interested in me, look at him and look at me. It's why I've hardly messaged anyone I found attractive through fear of rejection because of my headspace not any pre conceived idea that they'd be arrogant etc It's interesting, the lack of confidence thing, cos most of us experience it and yet in others we can't always transfer the feeling. Or something that makes sense. "Yes, perfect sense, I think. We're all (well, vast majority of people) our own worst critics, aren't we? So we will always have an inner voice telling us we have a big nose or are too fat (or whatever!), no matter how much others tell us otherwise! The key, and not saying it's easy, is to keep a lid on that inner voice! Interesting thread, OP. Know you were asking women, but for me, I'm not "intimidated" but am quite selective in who I message. Realism rather than being intimidated, but simply no point messaging someone who is clearly not going to be attracted to me... | |||
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