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Weirdest First Message
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)"
I’ve got a flux capacitor for sale if you’re interested. |
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)"
Better than FAF. Maybe he wants to cook a romantic roast  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)
I’ve got a flux capacitor for sale if you’re interested."
Where have you had that from?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive a delorean.. and sone dodgy lybian friends with glowing radiactive stuff.
.. probably had some punchline if you responded.. now we will never know.. unless you respond? |
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)"
We got a message yesterday completely out of nowhere telling us this guys wife had her first BBC the night before. That was the whole message, no context, nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)
I’ve got a flux capacitor for sale if you’re interested.
Where have you had that from? "
Found it at a car boot sale. The idiots thought it was an Amstrad computer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)"
Perhaps slow cooker is a metaphor for something else...tell him your after a quickie does he have a sandwich toastie |
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I had one few days ago no hello or anything, just said
are you free come and pee on me and send me home to wife covered in you?
lol lucky wife I thought haha
I always get strange off men asking random but never a hello lol
now blocked em again so easier |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)
I’ve got a flux capacitor for sale if you’re interested."
It is a shame that we cannot post links, as there is a company in Ireland that sell them.
Search for oreilly auto and flux capacitor for a gander. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We once received a message from a single guy asking if we'd meet him in a hotel room and if I'd have a fight with a girlfriend he was bringing.
The mind boggles  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ive a delorean.. and sone dodgy lybian friends with glowing radiactive stuff.
.. probably had some punchline if you responded.. now we will never know.. unless you respond? "
Of course I responded! I asked if it was code for something and he said no, that I thought I might be interested. I told him I'm more into microwaves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We once received a message from a single guy asking if we'd meet him in a hotel room and if I'd have a fight with a girlfriend he was bringing.
The mind boggles "
Who won? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We once received a message from a single guy asking if we'd meet him in a hotel room and if I'd have a fight with a girlfriend he was bringing.
The mind boggles
Who won? "
Was it on PPV??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower "
Nice! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That, someone wanted to take us away for the weekend, pictk us up, pay for everything, wait on us, bath us, pleasure us and then fall asleep at our feet. |
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"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower "
She prostituted herself for a lawnmower ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That, someone wanted to take us away for the weekend, pictk us up, pay for everything, wait on us, bath us, pleasure us and then fall asleep at our feet."
I've told my dad off for trying to spend my inheritance before .... I'm so sorry, I'll have words with him, again!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower
She prostituted herself for a lawnmower ?"
Don’t be silly. She hit him with a spade and took the lawn mower. We’re not savages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower "
There is a guy near me that keeps asking to suck me off in his shed, I asked if there was anything else in it for me? He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower
There is a guy near me that keeps asking to suck me off in his shed, I asked if there was anything else in it for me? He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange "
That’s because we took it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange
That’s because we took it
Did you get the grass clippings box too ?"
Yep. We’ll be going back for the strimmer soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange
That’s because we took it
Did you get the grass clippings box too ?
Yep. We’ll be going back for the strimmer soon "
did you take a blanket? how did you stop all the old grass getting in the boot? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange
That’s because we took it
Did you get the grass clippings box too ?
Yep. We’ll be going back for the strimmer soon
did you take a blanket? how did you stop all the old grass getting in the boot?"
I used a van and a tarp. This isn’t my first rodeo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange
That’s because we took it
Did you get the grass clippings box too ?
Yep. We’ll be going back for the strimmer soon
did you take a blanket? how did you stop all the old grass getting in the boot?
I used a van and a tarp. This isn’t my first rodeo."
clearly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had one from a 'Guy' saying "I know on your Profile you say your straight, but if you want I can suck you dry. Give a BJ like you have never had before..." Etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had one from a 'Guy' saying "I know on your Profile you say your straight, but if you want I can suck you dry. Give a BJ like you have never had before..." Etc."
those are the only messages i get |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive a delorean.. and sone dodgy lybian friends with glowing radiactive stuff.
.. probably had some punchline if you responded.. now we will never know.. unless you respond?
Of course I responded! I asked if it was code for something and he said no, that I thought I might be interested. I told him I'm more into microwaves. "
|
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Meet us tomorrow?
No I don't do that. It says so on my profile.
Sorry, just read it now. If you meet us tomorrow we will get you a coffee?
What about the plane ticket?
What plane ticket?
The one I'll need to get to you in the States for that coffee obviously! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower
There is a guy near me that keeps asking to suck me off in his shed, I asked if there was anything else in it for me? He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange
That’s because we took it "
He said could he have it back please ? His missus is asking lots of questions .. |
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"Hi, I am in Buxton at the weekend with a group of biker mates and all the hotels are booked up, if we pay you can we stay with you? There are 8 of us in total" the message title was b&b. At the time we didn't even accommodate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We once received a message from a single guy asking if we'd meet him in a hotel room and if I'd have a fight with a girlfriend he was bringing.
The mind boggles
Who won? "
We politely declined his offer |
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‘Can I take the female out for a McDonalds breakfast?’ 
A young couple who lived in the South West, asked if they mind them coming to ours when they visit their parents ‘something about being fucked by people my parents age just before I turn up at their door…it’s a huge turn on’
Obviously we said yes to both
K |
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)"
My timing is awful. Have just taken my old microwave to the tip! Normally it would’ve taken about 20 minutes to get there, but I did it in 2 on high! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I got asked if I could drop my wife off so she could suck someone off in his shed whilst his wife was asleep in the house.
Long story short he got what he wanted and we’ve got a new lawn mower
There is a guy near me that keeps asking to suck me off in his shed, I asked if there was anything else in it for me? He said anything I want but but dont ask for a lawnmower...how strange
That’s because we took it "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need someone to give me permission to cut my balls off, can Mrs arrow or you give it to me?"
I can best that - two men have asked me to cut their knob off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m sure we are not allowed to share DM’s
I’ve only ever got a couple of odd ones. The ones you don’t know how to reply. I’m rarely speechless, but wow. There’s some people even stump me. |
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"I need someone to give me permission to cut my balls off, can Mrs arrow or you give it to me?
I can best that - two men have asked me to cut their knob off. "
I've had this..I told him I had an axe in the shed & he replied could I use a knife instead.. |
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"We actually had a first message that contained only the words, "Can I shit in her mouth?"
Kinks aside, it was disappointing that there wasn't even a "Hi"! "
This is what gets me…… ask me what you want but it’s the lack of hi or hello that irks me |
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"We actually had a first message that contained only the words, "Can I shit in her mouth?"
Kinks aside, it was disappointing that there wasn't even a "Hi"!
This is what gets me…… ask me what you want but it’s the lack of hi or hello that irks me "
and no please or thankyou!! You had a lucky escape There - no manners!!  |
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)
I’ve got a flux capacitor for sale if you’re interested.
Where have you had that from?
Found it at a car boot sale. The idiots thought it was an Amstrad computer "
A what? Sorry I’ve never heard of one of these
MrY |
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"We actually had a first message that contained only the words, "Can I shit in her mouth?"
Kinks aside, it was disappointing that there wasn't even a "Hi"!
This is what gets me…… ask me what you want but it’s the lack of hi or hello that irks me and no please or thankyou!! You had a lucky escape There - no manners!! "
Yeah, can you imagine someone coming up to you in a pub and asking the same question! |
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I had a really fun message from a couple.
Said they liked my profile, my typical approach and they said they wanted to meet me.
All nice thus far....
Then the wife announced that she has a fetish demand for a certain very expensive brand of French cosmetic makeup pallets, and that a possible meet would involve her using the makeup prior to and during the play.
Interesting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think I just had the worse one guy messages I'm having a cheeky wank while my son is on the edge of the bed on his ipad that's just bang out of order! Fucking animal I'm fuming tbh |
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"Today I got a message from someone telling me that he's got a slow cooker and he thought I might be interested.
Have you had weirder that that?
(I'm not that bothered about slow cookers but if you any of you have any old microwaves, I'm collecting them. I'm using them to build a time machine in my loft.)"
Wow
I wish people thought of me when getting rid of slow cookers  |
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