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The most contradictory aspect of Fab!
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I have been on Fab for some time now and it is the most wonderful site with the most wonderful people. However, there is one question that continues to perplex me. It is such a prudish and unbelievably closeted aspect of Fab. Why are there so many many couples with a Straight Male and Bi Female? The statistics of the general population suggest that the incidence of such relationships is conceivably higher in general life. Why is it that Fab women can declare their interest in Bi play but it continues to be so difficult for men to admit this aspect of themselves in the 21st century? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.
The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.
In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.
I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People often ridicule the posts from Essex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?"
 It's a no from me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.
The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.
In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.
I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points"
I agree. I think a woman could kiss another woman and label herself bi as it’s cool. And it’s seen cooler
But a guy would feel different about that label.
Ultimately I feel straight guys have it hard when it comes to labels that make them seem different or other-ised.
Like the whole debacle of why some men might feel insecure and judged by others for dating a girl of trans experience. And the whole can of worm opens “Is he still straight, Is he bi, Is he gay?”
Yes hunny, you are still straight.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.
 "
If more men came out as heterosexual it would help to take away some of the stigma.
Being straight is genetic, they were born that way. They can't help it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.
If more men came out as heterosexual it would help to take away some of the stigma.
Being straight is genetic, they were born that way. They can't help it. "
 so much stigma |
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According to the 2017 census a higher percentage of men identify as gay than women identify as lesbian, but more women than men identify as bi. But overall the number of men and women identifying as not straight us probably similar.
So perhaps it's not that men are afraid to say they're bi, it's just that the ones who like cock find it so delicious there's no going back |
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My wife loves kissing women and feeling boobs. And when she's super turned on she can perform oral sex on a woman.
But she's not bi. She can look at a woman and find her attractive but (unfortunately for me) she never looks at a woman with desire.
Maybe if we had started this life 20 years ago she would feel differently. Maybe. Or maybe she just likes kissing women and that's ok.
There are lots of men on here who are bi. And they hide it because there is a stigma. Men's sexuality isn't a simple thing and can't be categorised by a simple on/off label. We are conditioned to see homosexeaulity as other and it can be hard to get past that.
I'm straight. Never kissed a man. I can't say I never had the urge to kiss one. If I notice a guy is good looking... does that mean I have been lying all my life? If I enjoyed the fact that a bi guy cleaned my cum from my wife's pussy ... does that mean I'm bi?
No. It just means I'm human.
A lot of the bi women on here are like my wife. Bi is something they can do rather than be. Pillow princesses who will accept pleasure or perform for their partners but if it was just the two ladies present they would just as easily watch a movie with some wine.
If they feel like they are fab bi that's fine. No one should judge them.
Similarly if there are guys out there who for their own reasons want to be seen as straight even tho they might like a hand job from a guy, that's fine. Fab straight men have that right to identify as they see fit |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Maybe, because kissing tits and having a fumble with a pussy isn't that bad for a straight woman who wants please her man.
Or, many men would like to play with a penis but are too scared to admit it. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"My wife loves kissing women and feeling boobs. And when she's super turned on she can perform oral sex on a woman.
But she's not bi. She can look at a woman and find her attractive but (unfortunately for me) she never looks at a woman with desire.
Maybe if we had started this life 20 years ago she would feel differently. Maybe. Or maybe she just likes kissing women and that's ok.
There are lots of men on here who are bi. And they hide it because there is a stigma. Men's sexuality isn't a simple thing and can't be categorised by a simple on/off label. We are conditioned to see homosexeaulity as other and it can be hard to get past that.
I'm straight. Never kissed a man. I can't say I never had the urge to kiss one. If I notice a guy is good looking... does that mean I have been lying all my life? If I enjoyed the fact that a bi guy cleaned my cum from my wife's pussy ... does that mean I'm bi?
No. It just means I'm human.
A lot of the bi women on here are like my wife. Bi is something they can do rather than be. Pillow princesses who will accept pleasure or perform for their partners but if it was just the two ladies present they would just as easily watch a movie with some wine.
If they feel like they are fab bi that's fine. No one should judge them.
Similarly if there are guys out there who for their own reasons want to be seen as straight even tho they might like a hand job from a guy, that's fine. Fab straight men have that right to identify as they see fit "
I probably should have read this before I commented. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People often ridicule the posts from Essex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?"
Tom is not bi but he’ll probably report that alligators are in a few weeks. |
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"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.
If more men came out as heterosexual it would help to take away some of the stigma.
Being straight is genetic, they were born that way. They can't help it. "
It's true, I took a microscope to a straight guy's dong once and the cells spelled out 'No Homo', it's the only way to be sure |
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"I have been on Fab for some time now and it is the most wonderful site with the most wonderful people. However, there is one question that continues to perplex me. It is such a prudish and unbelievably closeted aspect of Fab. Why are there so many many couples with a Straight Male and Bi Female? The statistics of the general population suggest that the incidence of such relationships is conceivably higher in general life. Why is it that Fab women can declare their interest in Bi play but it continues to be so difficult for men to admit this aspect of themselves in the 21st century?"
We are that couple simply because he is straight...not the slightest hint of being bi  |
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I've lost count of the number of forum posts that tell me as a straight man that I'm closeminded or scared to explore my sexuality. The truth is that I embrace my heterosexuality.
Many people assume that all women are bi or bi curious and when a woman states that she is straight in a forum post the general consensus is that she should not be shamed into being anything else.
When a man says it, a increasingly large part of this community are quick to jump in with a "yeah right".
No-one should have to justify their sexuality. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Why is being straight now being seen as prudish and closeted.
I'm straight and I've no interest in playing with women but I get asked by couple to meet and play with the female they send me female pics trying to entice me to and when I point out I'm straight I have been told in the past they would make me bi.
Of course on here there are people who are bi but say they are straight and visa versa it's always been the way on here. But people's choices should be respected and not seen as prudish. And I'm finding recently it's almost like straight people are not believed when they say they are not bi and almost shamed for their choice as well.
Surely it's easier to concentrate on finding those that are compatible to what you are looking for than looking for ways to put others who aren't down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
No-one should have to justify their sexuality. "
Bingo. Just do you. Surely none thinks about their own sexuality that much
Its not what defines an individual
I know Ive always liked men and I see myself as straight, sure sometimes maybe I wonder what it’d be like to kiss a woman in a MFF scenario… would I like it?
I don’t know, but it’s like me wondering what’s gonna be for dinner tonight. Or actually less… cos I think about what’s gonna be for dinner a LOT |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.
The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.
In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.
I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points"
That’s a good answer, I bet on here it’s skewed even further because many of the bi women aren’t even bi but swinging lifestyle puts pressure to conform to men’s fantasies |
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"People often ridicule the posts from Wessex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?
It's a no from me."
•
Who pray tell is Wessex Tom??  |
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"There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.
The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.
In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.
I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points
That’s a good answer, I bet on here it’s skewed even further because many of the bi women aren’t even bi but swinging lifestyle puts pressure to conform to men’s fantasies "
I've seen single women change from straight to bi-curious and back again on their profile based on who they are chatting to at the time.
Some of those have admitted in pm's they use it as a ploy and some have said they are disgusted when they see pics of other women together or wearing a strap-on but are happy to openly flirt on the forums with other women.
As I said above no-one should have to justify their sexuality but don't play with or abuse other peoples. |
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Go to Fabguys, it's stuffed with bi men. Easily over half the site imo. It's good fun there, but the angry marrieds can piss you off on the forum sometimes.
When it comes to couples profiles I've seen both on Fabswingers (but I suppose I would) and I don't see why men are necessarian hiding anything tbh (and I'm a bisexual who sees bisexuality as the last great sexual taboo!). Imo this place works best when ppl are brutally honest tbh, and I think most people learn that. At least they are not saying it to be PC! |
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