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Rejection and all that shiz
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 ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.
Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).
But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.
You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.
Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.
Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.
This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.
That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...
TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.
(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply) | |||
"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP. Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women. I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection. I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again. Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men? I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well. I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more. But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.
Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).
But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.
You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.
Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.
Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.
This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.
That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...
TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.
(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"Quoting the whole thing. Also  you. | |||
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"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP. Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women. I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection. I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again. Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men? I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well. I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more. But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.
Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).
But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.
You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.
Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.
Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.
This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.
That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...
TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.
(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"For me, rejection is part of life for 99.9% of people, both men and women. Whether it be rejection from a sexual/dating side of things or rejection from a job or something else. Everyone needs to be able to take rejection like an adult and understand that sometimes you just aren’t what someone else is looking for. There is someone out there for everyone. Everyone has tastes and things they like or dislike and they are entitled to their opinions. Dust yourself off, get on with it and be the best version of you… there will be someone else for you! | |||
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"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well." Sorry  | |||
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"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well." I managed, just, to resist. 
Great post though, and a reminder that we’re all going through some kind of shit in the background, no matter how things look like from the outside.
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"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well." Bants init. | |||
"Hello NotSoPosh After reading your forum posting I thought I'd comment. I am owl - the male of us. I am blind and so judge nobody personally by their pics etc - I know that I would have had an automatic exception. Men rarely if ever discuss what it means to be masculine and our fathers don't tell us. You've probably seen films and TV shows where a father speaks with his son and gives him guidance. Most men find this nonsense because it doesn't happen to most. As a result we know that women understand their feminity and it scares us/them. We handle rejection badly because we don't want to work on ourselves - essentially we are a bit crap. Most men can express only 2 or 3 emotions, lust, anger and anger again. That is IMO and it is worth reading "MWomen are from Venus, men are from Mars"" I’ve never actually read the book though I’ve referenced it in a thread before. But I read an excerpt once for a lecture and wondered if it makes suggestions about biological references between genders that aren’t necessarily true? This is a genuine question as I’m unsure about whether I’d enjoy the book or not  | |||
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"I totally get you on this. I take a different view - I don't let myself feel the negativity of rejection rather I manage my frustration of not finding the right person that accepts me as I am - or I did until recently - fingers very crossed and thanking my lucky stars daily that someone that does get me has found me and I feel the same way about her. Way I see it frustration is at least a form of passion whereas rejection is very destructive " And that's exactly where I've been trying to reach all my life. | |||
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"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP. Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women. I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection. I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again. Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men? I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well. I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more. But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.
Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).
But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.
You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.
Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.
Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.
This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.
That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...
TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.
(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"You will never understand the rejection I face, just like I will never understand the rejection you face....it's really that simple.You don't know my past, my experiences, my trauma, my insecurities, the things that have shaped my mentality...just like I don't know yours. You don't know what it's like to be a man in today's society, just like I don't know what it's like to be a woman...we are not the same! I'm not saying women don't face rejection...but it's not the same type of rejection men face (especially when it comes to approaching women) . And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... | |||
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"Just from the TL:DR No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend It’s not even compatible " OP literally says *some* women experience more rejection than *some* men. "no they don't" is a nonsensical response. | |||
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" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me..." I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have". | |||
"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP. Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women. I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection. I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again. Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men? I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well. I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more. But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.
Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).
But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.
You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.
Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.
Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.
This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.
That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...
TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.
(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)" | |||
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"Regarding Women are from Venus, men are from Mars" though that maybe the other way around. Read it a long time ago and think you may be correct Steve. Also David Deida has done some interesting work on sex and sexuality though those that don't read profiles are hardly going to read an actual book which doesn't have pictures. " ! Thank you Owl! I will check out David Deida! | |||
"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls " Dr Hilary Jones posts on Fab?! | |||
"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls Dr Hilary Jones posts on Fab?!" i dont know who she is | |||
"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls " The books I've published are less of a tough read... | |||
"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls The books I've published are less of a tough read..." | |||
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"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well." I noticed. And are you happy y oh got all that original post off your chest op? 
I could sit and meander through my opinions and experiences on fab for a longer time than yours, (and you did say many times, you kept it simple, so maybe you could have gone on too). But life is complicated and it’s no different online.
I actually (it’s hard to believe this next bit so sit down) have not had the opportunity to turn anyone down. Nobody has asked me for anything.  but I have been open to being attracted to others and yes, ignored/dodged the question/deleted etc. I have my opinions to why, but only they know the truth, it’s personal to them.
Do I feel sorry for those that struggle with the rejection on here, of course I do. Do I struggle with the way some people flaunt their ‘how they are successful’ vibe around? Yes. And I’m sure a jealous person (which should have no place on a swinging website) could find that all sorts of frustrating. But, some people set themselves up for failure, and it’s on their shoulders where the answer is most of the time. It starts with themselves.
Posh, good post, but cut to the chase next time, I like to reply with one liners.
*I might have gone on one too there | |||
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"Just from the TL:DR No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend It’s not even compatible OP literally says *some* women experience more rejection than *some* men. "no they don't" is a nonsensical response. " I guess if I was gonna expand Rejection for women is like messaging Tom hardy and not getting a response then browsing their 500 unread messages on here while they feel sad Rejection for me is like 85% of your shots being shut down Rejection for women is partly choice. They can sit back and choose not to make the 1st move while still being able to pick those that are making a move on them For men it’s not a choice. If you do nothing you’d die an unloved virgin. This is all expressed in how we naturally behave. Most women on here openly admit they never message first, even when it’s someone they like the look of. That’s because biologically women don’t make the move. They are picked, men do the picking and face the rejection. These inbuilt behaviours exist for a reason. Millions of years of evolution. The other side of the coin is that women don’t really do the picking. Being picked all the time sounds great, to a guy. But imagine seeing someone you really like and not being able do to anything. Just waiting, hoping they’ll pick you. But again, women can break that mold and go for it. They can message first or ask someone for a drink. Guys on the other hands don’t get that luxury. Make a male account on here and don’t message anyone. See how you do. Go to the pub and just sit quietly at a table looking pretty. Let me know how many girls ask if you fancy a drink. I’ll wait. Let me know. | |||
"Hey Posh, Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting. What I would say there are various types of rejection. The temporary rejections of which there can be many on sites like this. And then the long term rejection as described in your OP. I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues. " You said this very well, it’s easy to forget others have issues/bad past experiences etc | |||
"Just from the TL:DR No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend It’s not even compatible " I must be a man then. | |||
"It’s a very different experience being a man on here as opposed to a woman, that’s obvious. I think that’s important that we don’t assume or presume to tell others their experiences based on conjecture. I’ve been battered in my life by rejection, that’s what it is to be human and why when we find someone, it’s important to try to hold onto them. In regards to experiences here, I’m actually quite happy, mainly because I know that if I receive a message, I can trust that they want to talk and are interested. That’s a level of privilege that many don’t have and I’m aware of that. Many don’t recognise their own privileges " I think that's the point. Many don't. And many can't turn the volume on the perceived and actual negative things down and turn up the positive. (I'm aware this is one of those kettle, pot moments) I think that humans often have the belief that empathy is something you can only have if you've lived that exact experience. And it isn't. | |||
"Hey Posh, Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting. What I would say there are various types of rejection. The temporary rejections of which there can be many on sites like this. And then the long term rejection as described in your OP. I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues. You said this very well, it’s easy to forget others have issues/bad past experiences etc " Yep try telling the child that their Dad rejected that rejection on Fab is worse. Or the rejection of you as a person as you're not good enough. So you have to dress and act a certain way so that you are apparently acceptable to the mass population. Rejection has many forms, one is not worse than the other they are just different. | |||
"Hey Posh, Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting. ……. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues. You said this very well, it’s easy to forget others have issues/bad past experiences etc " You both have a very good opinion I like to remind myself often. | |||
"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well. I noticed. And are you happy y oh got all that original post off your chest op?
I could sit and meander through my opinions and experiences on fab for a longer time than yours, (and you did say many times, you kept it simple, so maybe you could have gone on too). But life is complicated and it’s no different online.
I actually (it’s hard to believe this next bit so sit down) have not had the opportunity to turn anyone down. Nobody has asked me for anything. but I have been open to being attracted to others and yes, ignored/dodged the question/deleted etc. I have my opinions to why, but only they know the truth, it’s personal to them.
Do I feel sorry for those that struggle with the rejection on here, of course I do. Do I struggle with the way some people flaunt their ‘how they are successful’ vibe around? Yes. And I’m sure a jealous person (which should have no place on a swinging website) could find that all sorts of frustrating. But, some people set themselves up for failure, and it’s on their shoulders where the answer is most of the time. It starts with themselves.
Posh, good post, but cut to the chase next time, I like to reply with one liners.
*I might have gone on one too there "Don't get me started on jealousy and it's place in society ffs | |||
"Just from the TL:DR No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend It’s not even compatible I must be a man then." A beautiful man | |||
" I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. " If I could have remembered the word competitive this is something I would have added! | |||
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"Just slightly off the main, but...yeah. Being back here after like, a year of pretty much no phone is jarring. Going from that very quiet, reflective time to this: everything is so immediately reactive, so loud. I don't I've adjusted to it well just yet. But most of the loud keeps striking me as related to rejection, and it's reactive and not reflective. Sorry. Babbling. Just a passing thought. Thank you for sharing that very personal stuff OP. Can't have been easy to type. "It's a delight to see you back CD | |||
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"All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab. To say otherwise is pure fantasy!" Dude. Way to chuck in a new grenade | |||
" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have"." Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious. So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement. But I'm happy to agree to disagree  | |||
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Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,
Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,
What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,
The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.
Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.
If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,
It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.
(my 2cents worth)
Mr A. | |||
"All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab. To say otherwise is pure fantasy!" I feel a slight jab there my friend ...but I agree with you...I don't know what that experience is like. But as a man I know what it's like to be constantly rejected by women...I haven't always looked like this you know | |||
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" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have". Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious. So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement. But I'm happy to agree to disagree "I'm not saying I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected. I'm also not saying I know what it's like for a woman to be constantly rejected. I'm saying I know what it's like for *me* to be constantly rejected and that knowledge, along with empathy and the willingness and ability to listen and read can make me understand the way it makes a person feel. It's a discussion that 175 posts isn't enough for, so agreeing to disagree seems to be best here. | |||
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"I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is? " THIS! | |||
"I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is? THIS! "this X2 | |||
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" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have". Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious. So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement. But I'm happy to agree to disagree "Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same | |||
"I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is? " I completely agree. I know my triggers, I can see them. It doesn't necessarily stop me being triggered by them (if it did I'd have left fab for my own sanity) but I go into it eyes wide open now. | |||
" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have". Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious. So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement. But I'm happy to agree to disagree
Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same "*was like | |||
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"I can't relate. Which isn't to say that I've never experienced rejection (not that I really view things that way). More, I readily accept that there are probably relatively few people in a life time that I'm going to form a strong bond with. I see it as things just not working out, be that in relation to friendship, something more intimate or family " That's a very healthy way to look at it, and I think if we could all get to that place we would find more contentment. | |||
"I readily accept that there are probably relatively few people in a life time that I'm going to form a strong bond with. " Makes me think of the ‘You only get 3 great women in your lifetime.’ quote. | |||
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"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,, Or something like that,,
Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,
Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,
What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,
The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.
Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.
If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,
It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.
(my 2cents worth)
Mr A. "Absolutely agree with this.
I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x
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"All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab. To say otherwise is pure fantasy!" That’s rubbish. I joined here as an overweight guy and had way more attention than I do now as toned and muscular | |||
" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have". Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious. So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement. But I'm happy to agree to disagree
Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same
*was like"That's a fair point...maybe the best reaction is " I'm sorry you went through that and I'm trying to better understand " rather than "yeah I know exactly what that is like" ... | |||
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" And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me... I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me". From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have". Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious. So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement. But I'm happy to agree to disagree
Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same
*was like
That's a fair point...maybe the best reaction is " I'm sorry you went through that and I'm trying to better understand " rather than "yeah I know exactly what that is like" ..."To be clear, understanding on an intellectual level based on information and personal experience and/or empathising is not the same as saying "I know exactly what it's like". | |||
"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,, Or something like that,,
Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,
Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,
What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,
The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.
Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.
If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,
It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.
(my 2cents worth)
Mr A.
Absolutely agree with this.
I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x
"That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot) And before someone goes off on one, Yes I'm Ginger And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment, | |||
"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well." To be fair, it is like telling the school bully that you will wet yourself if they tickle you. You should of known better  | |||
"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,, Or something like that,,
Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,
Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,
What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,
The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.
Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.
If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,
It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.
(my 2cents worth)
Mr A.
Absolutely agree with this.
I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x
That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)
And before someone goes off on one,
Yes I'm Ginger
And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment, "You're ginger? You never mentioned? | |||
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"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well. To be fair, it is like telling the school bully that you will wet yourself if they tickle you. You should of known better "I should. I really should | |||
"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,, Or something like that,,
Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,
Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,
What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,
The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.
Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.
If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,
It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.
(my 2cents worth)
Mr A.
Absolutely agree with this.
I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x
That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)
And before someone goes off on one,
Yes I'm Ginger
And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment,
You're ginger? You never mentioned? " | |||
"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,, Or something like that,,
Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,
Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,
What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,
The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.
Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.
If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,
It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.
(my 2cents worth)
Mr A.
Absolutely agree with this.
I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x
That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)
And before someone goes off on one,
Yes I'm Ginger
And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment,
You're ginger? You never mentioned? "That's because he knows that the ginger power would render all other men hopeless and he likes to give people a chance...  | |||
| |||
 this post. Well said | |||
"I don't even know where to start here, other than to say we should all bear in mind there's lots of different kinds of rejection in live. It's not just romantic/sexual rejection that people cope with and none of us will ever fully know the struggles of the next person. We can try to empathise but never fully understand, unless we face exactly the same situation. I'll give an example. I'm currently in a nice spa. I got changed then needed the loo. The disabled loo in the spa is out of order. My wheelchair does not fit into the ladies toilet. In my robe and swimsuit, I was directed to the first floor (spa is lower ground). Upon exiting the lift on the first floor, I was faced with super deep pile carpet. Even pushing on the flat corridors was immensely difficult and I'm very strong in the upper body. I found the loo but it was locked. I waited 10mins until a passing staff member told me IT was also out of order. I should go (in my robe and swimsuit) to the main foyer where there's an accessible toilet. I'd wasted by now nearly half an hour of my spa time. The toilet in the foyer is actually within the restaurant. I am wearing a robe and swimsuit. I went to the loo and returned to the spa almost 40min after needing the loo. I don't think anyone here can truly understand my issues with the above, unless you've also tried to self propel a wheelchair on super deep pile carpet and have had to go through public spaces and into a freaking restaurant while dressed for the spa. Several people (elderly) made distasteful faces while I waited in the foyer. I ignored them. I'm going to stop now, because they just fixed the jacuzzi and I'm going to get my money's worth. But I hope my point makes sense?" Your point entirely makes sense. But I can put the details into a situation from my own life and thus intellectually understand the issues and empathise even if I don't *know* exactly how it feels. Self propelling on most carpet is a bitch... deep shag made me give up so once again lady... admiration here | |||
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"Just from the TL:DR No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend It’s not even compatible OP literally says *some* women experience more rejection than *some* men. "no they don't" is a nonsensical response. I guess if I was gonna expand Rejection for women is like messaging Tom hardy and not getting a response then browsing their 500 unread messages on here while they feel sad Rejection for me is like 85% of your shots being shut down Rejection for women is partly choice. They can sit back and choose not to make the 1st move while still being able to pick those that are making a move on them For men it’s not a choice. If you do nothing you’d die an unloved virgin. This is all expressed in how we naturally behave. Most women on here openly admit they never message first, even when it’s someone they like the look of. That’s because biologically women don’t make the move. They are picked, men do the picking and face the rejection. These inbuilt behaviours exist for a reason. Millions of years of evolution. The other side of the coin is that women don’t really do the picking. Being picked all the time sounds great, to a guy. But imagine seeing someone you really like and not being able do to anything. Just waiting, hoping they’ll pick you. But again, women can break that mold and go for it. They can message first or ask someone for a drink. Guys on the other hands don’t get that luxury. Make a male account on here and don’t message anyone. See how you do. Go to the pub and just sit quietly at a table looking pretty. Let me know how many girls ask if you fancy a drink. I’ll wait. Let me know." I'm sorry, I'm going to have to strongly disagree. I have never, not once ever made the first move. Every single more than just friends relationship I've ever had was instigated by the other person. For one thing I don't even see the flirt happen until it's stuck lips on lips
I'm no Cassanova or Adonis and am shambolic at small talk. Nor do I fear rejection that causes me to not make the first move.
I've never really gone looking with intent, I've just opened my mind and lowered my barriers and someone has always walked onto my bridge. | |||
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"I’d appreciate another TL:DR " I don’t know what that means  | |||
"I’d appreciate another TL:DR I don’t know what that means "Me neither | |||
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"I’d appreciate another TL:DR I don’t know what that means
Me neither "Too long didn’t read | |||
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"I’d appreciate another TL:DR I don’t know what that means
Me neither
Too long didn’t read"Ah ok thanks. | |||
"I’d appreciate another TL:DR I don’t know what that means
Me neither
Too long didn’t read"Thank you thank you thank you.
Tytyty | |||
" Very often one persons rejection is another's game playing and whipping out the victim card when it doesn't go to plan. Or maybe the victim card is the plan all along. " I always seem to find myself nodding along with you when I read your posts, and this one is no exception. This part I wanted to highlight, because I completely agree, in some cases there is certainly an element of playing the victim. Not all though, although I doubt you would have wanted to imply that (and didn't, I am merely stressing the point). Game playing on fab is absolutely another subject, but linked... as some use it to make themselves feel good and either don't realise or don't care how that, and the subsequent rejection, makes others feel. I find that sad. | |||
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