It seems that one persons kink or fetish is another’s vanilla or yuck!
Be good to understand how you all feel about these words? Are they too nebulous for a swinging site or do they contain collective meaning (maybe it’s just me!).
Keep it light - we’re all here for a shag after all xx hugs  |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
I think there's a very broad spectrum, as well as it being relative to each person. Therefore the lens / meaning of such words can become skewed for many.
For example; many in the kink/fetish world regard swingers as vanilla. I don't personally. As the vanilla people who don't swing certainly wouldn't view swingers as vanilla!
And there are some who live and breath the BDSM lifestyle, really heavy players who leave each other black & blue, have 24h Master/[insert banned word here that sounds like 'brave'] dynamics, do lots of intense CNC play etc, who don't regard the "just for some fun / spice in the bedroom" type of kinksters... again; it's all relative.
My personal take on it, is that you only need to have one kinky desire or fetish, even the most light and fluffy kind, and then you're kinky, in my opinion. And if you're totally vanilla, that's also fine and dandy. As long as everyone's a consenting adult and there's pleasure involved - go for it! That's all that really matters at the end of the day.
I've found that even the communities that would seem to be the most open-minded, understanding and tolerant out there... can still be really judgemental and gatekeepery, and rely on categorising everyone into neat little pidgon holes, etc. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Kink and Fetish get used interchangeably when describing certain things which is where some people will view them as ill defined, however they are quite different.
A fetish being something that must he done while a kink is something that can be done in order to achieve sexual enjoyment.
If the thing can be removed from the equation and you still have fun, its a kink, if it cannot then its a fetish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my short time here I’ve discovered that literally anything when done during sex can be called a kink or fetish.
If you disagree you’re kink shaming.
Punch a cow, animal cruelty.
Punch a cow whilst naked, kink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kink and Fetish get used interchangeably when describing certain things which is where some people will view them as ill defined, however they are quite different.
A fetish being something that must he done while a kink is something that can be done in order to achieve sexual enjoyment.
If the thing can be removed from the equation and you still have fun, its a kink, if it cannot then its a fetish."
Aha! |
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I tend to use the word 'kink to sort of hide my fetish tendencies and sexual wants and needs which to some may be regarded as extreme . Some people run before I've even had a chance to say what I mean by my personal 'links especially if I mention corporal punishment, needle play etc.
I think each to their own. Kink and fetish are both very useful words at times! |
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