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A message from jesus

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport

Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not Sunday? Fair

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You'll probably get crucified for that joke.

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.


"You'll probably get crucified for that joke."

That's a cross he must bear.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger . "
holy ghost, busman!

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger . holy ghost, busman!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You'll probably get crucified for that joke.

That's a cross he must bear. "

If i got hard reading these jesus jokes is it a res erection?

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"You'll probably get crucified for that joke.

That's a cross he must bear.

If i got hard reading these jesus jokes is it a res erection?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You'll probably get crucified for that joke.

That's a cross he must bear.

If i got hard reading these jesus jokes is it a res erection?"

the second coming ?

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By *ood time Chris BMan  over a year ago

TAUNTON AREA


"You'll probably get crucified for that joke.

That's a cross he must bear. "

You nailed it ??

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By *asycouple1971Couple  over a year ago

midlands

Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?"
he's on international duty

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You'll probably get crucified for that joke.

That's a cross he must bear.

If i got hard reading these jesus jokes is it a res erection?the second coming ?"

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

At least he's in for a good weekend, but then he's a well hung repeater.

Guaranteed to get nailed, rise and come again on Monday.

A

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By *ornLordMan  over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

He's going to disappear for a couple of days. At least we know in advance, unlike your average joiner around here.

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"He's going to disappear for a couple of days. At least we know in advance, unlike your average joiner around here. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?"
hopefully not in goal

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?hopefully not in goal"

I'd have thought his arms were in the perfect postion to be a goalie.

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By *moothpussyMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?

hopefully not in goal"

My local church has a banner saying "Jesus saves" so he must be a goalie

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?

hopefully not in goal

My local church has a banner saying "Jesus saves" so he must be a goalie "

. He's not so great on crosses tho.

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Is he playing at Wembly tomorrow?

hopefully not in goal

My local church has a banner saying "Jesus saves" so he must be a goalie . He's not so great on crosses tho. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I shall be celebrating Easter with a selection of Middle Eastern dairy products.

Yes that's right...

Cheeses of Nazareth!

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By *yron69Man  over a year ago

Fareham

Blasphemer!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Or more likely

Brains i want brain uuuugggghhhhhh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Christ on a cross!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like how when he disappeared for a few days everyone celebrated his return but if I do it I’m a shit husband

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger . "

Jesus never had Easter eggs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Which came first Jebus or the egg??

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

bet your cross buns are hot Mrs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

"

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus.

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By *orny PTMan  over a year ago

Peterborough

Is he waiting for the half price stickers to be put on?

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By *orny PTMan  over a year ago

Peterborough


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus."

Eggs can come though..sunny side up, over easy (whatever that means).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus."

How do you know? Have you never not seen them??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus.

How do you know? Have you never not seen them?? "

Double negative. I’m confused. You win

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus.

Eggs can come though..sunny side up, over easy (whatever that means)."

No idea. I just like them fried, scrambled or fertilised

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By *irtydevil666Man  over a year ago

bristol

My mum asked me what I was doing for Easter I said same as Jesus going out Friday coming back Monday....

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"My mum asked me what I was doing for Easter I said same as Jesus going out Friday coming back Monday...."

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By *irtydevil666Man  over a year ago

bristol

To be honest he had one to many wines got tipsy and fell asleep in a cave,slept it off and left.......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus.

How do you know? Have you never not seen them??

Double negative. I’m confused. You win "

Oh goody! Is there a prize??? What do I win????

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By *irtydevil666Man  over a year ago

bristol

He dies he rises from the dead and for this miracle we celebrate with eggs.....eggs!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus.

How do you know? Have you never not seen them??

Double negative. I’m confused. You win

Oh goody! Is there a prize??? What do I win???? "

Erm…. It must be your lucky day… I’ve got a spare creme egg and 85p in my pocket.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"He dies he rises from the dead and for this miracle we celebrate with eggs.....eggs!"

Eggs are the symbol of birth and life

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Which came first Jebus or the egg??

Eggs can’t wank so I’m guessing Jesus.

How do you know? Have you never not seen them??

Double negative. I’m confused. You win

Oh goody! Is there a prize??? What do I win????

Erm…. It must be your lucky day… I’ve got a spare creme egg and 85p in my pocket. "

Omg best day ever

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"He dies he rises from the dead and for this miracle we celebrate with eggs.....eggs!

Eggs are the symbol of birth and life"

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By *yron69Man  over a year ago

Fareham

Could _usman 199 actually be our new Messiah?

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Could _usman 199 actually be our new Messiah?"
I am the chosen one . God bless you my son go forth and multiply

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By *for2Man  over a year ago

Bristol


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger . "

Is that because he's part of the Easter Decorations until then?

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger .

Is that because he's part of the Easter Decorations until then?"

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By *c_FingersMan  over a year ago

Stoke On Trent


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger . "

He died for my chocolate sins so my egged are my eggs??????

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Don't touch his easter eggs said he will be back on Monday. Don't shoot the messenger .

He died for my chocolate sins so my egged are my eggs??????"

(r

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By *orny PTMan  over a year ago

Peterborough

did he say it whilst talking in an Austrian accent?

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