FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Guys who can't take no for an answer...
Guys who can't take no for an answer...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can only say guys because that's all the experience I've had and I'm aware it isn't all guys but jeeze some guys just can't take no for an answer... It's quite worrying when they can't even respect a no in a message.
I see alot on the forums, on profiles and also in messages 'if you're not interested just say' or it's ignorant to just delete and/or block but when you tell someone you're not interested because they are too far away etc they try and convince you otherwise or throw a barrage of insults at you.
If someone's made the effort to sent a decent message sometimes I like to at least tell them no politely rather than delete and block.
Good Friday my arse lol.
Rant over  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly "single" men out number women and couples up to 100 - 1 on Fab in many locations in the UK.
A significant number of these men are "incel" and don't possess the personality, character, social skills and human decency to succeed in meeting women. Instead of looking inwards and trying to make positive changes they project their failures and shortcomings on to the people who have tried reject their advances politely.
Thankfully there are some really great genuinely "single" guys who are true gentlemen and an absolute credit to the swinging scene on fab. You just have to learn how to be able to find then amongst all the crap.
KJ |
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Can confirm women and couples can be equally bad but it’s less seen due to the numbers
Couple messaged me last week for a meet and I wasn’t interest, blocked the profile and both the Male and the female half jumped on their singles profile to hurl some abuse at me.
As they say, hell hath no fury like a woman (or couple) scorned |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them "
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Sadly "single" men out number women and couples up to 100 - 1 on Fab in many locations in the UK.
A significant number of these men are "incel" and don't possess the personality, character, social skills and human decency to succeed in meeting women. Instead of looking inwards and trying to make positive changes they project their failures and shortcomings on to the people who have tried reject their advances politely.
Thankfully there are some really great genuinely "single" guys who are true gentlemen and an absolute credit to the swinging scene on fab. You just have to learn how to be able to find then amongst all the crap.
KJ"
Yeah I've met some absolutely diamonds too. Unfortunately I've had a couple of the bad experiences in quick succession and it annoyed me. I need a coffee before I check my messages in future lol.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can confirm women and couples can be equally bad but it’s less seen due to the numbers
Couple messaged me last week for a meet and I wasn’t interest, blocked the profile and both the Male and the female half jumped on their singles profile to hurl some abuse at me.
As they say, hell hath no fury like a woman (or couple) scorned "
I don't doubt women and couples do it too. Just no need. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Unfortunately there are a lot of people on here who, personality wise, probably shouldn't be. As previously stated, someone who struggles with rejection in the virtual sphere may also take it badly in real life. And there are descriptive words for people try to cajole and bully someone into sex..
One failing in this site is that if someone finds you once, they can find you with multiple profiles, although there are filters to mitigate interactions.
I really feel for people who are subjected to this kind of abuse  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? "
This is what I always think too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? "
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? "
Yes it is very worrying. I’ve just dealt with one who wouldn’t leave me allow after I said a polite no thank you and had another account set up to continue harassing me on. Block features does not work and fabswingers should be doing more like blocking users IP.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can only say guys because that's all the experience I've had and I'm aware it isn't all guys but jeeze some guys just can't take no for an answer... It's quite worrying when they can't even respect a no in a message.
I see alot on the forums, on profiles and also in messages 'if you're not interested just say' or it's ignorant to just delete and/or block but when you tell someone you're not interested because they are too far away etc they try and convince you otherwise or throw a barrage of insults at you.
If someone's made the effort to sent a decent message sometimes I like to at least tell them no politely rather than delete and block.
Good Friday my arse lol.
Rant over "
It is a massive pain in the ass I agree.
I block now if I think a guy is too eager.I rather the laid back approach.Its way sexier.x |
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
"
Those are my thoughts too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
Those are my thoughts too"
Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care? |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
Yes it is very worrying. I’ve just dealt with one who wouldn’t leave me allow after I said a polite no thank you and had another account set up to continue harassing me on. Block features does not work and fabswingers should be doing more like blocking users IP.
"
Have you tried blocking unverified profiles and newbies on the filters page? It should make it a bit trickier for them. Although I'm not sure how Fab defines "newbie"
I agree IP blocking would work better, although if someone is *really* persistent they can use multiple devices. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
"
For me, it’s the realisation of the amount of men that struggle to take no for an answer.
It scares me, a lot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might! "
A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.
Better to find out before meeting him in person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might!
A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.
Better to find out before meeting him in person.
"
Great idea but sad that it’s necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might!
A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.
Better to find out before meeting him in person.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
Those are my thoughts too
Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?"
It is worrying for the person, yes. And it’s potentially scary. BUT, I can’t control that, so I don’t worry about it. That’s not saying I don’t care though. I can only worry about my controllables, not someone else’s |
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To be honest it doesn't worry me. It amuses me how they think by turning nasty is going to do them any favours. I couldn't care less what a complete stranger online thinks of me, especially someone I've said no too. It just proves that I was right in refusing to meet x |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
This isn’t a ‘Brownie Points’ comment as much as it may look like one, but I’m sorry you all have to deal with blokes being dickheads in such a manner.
I’m far from perfect in many other respects, but I understand ‘No’ and I can’t fathom why anyone couldn’t. |
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"This isn’t a ‘Brownie Points’ comment as much as it may look like one, but I’m sorry you all have to deal with blokes being dickheads in such a manner.
I’m far from perfect in many other respects, but I understand ‘No’ and I can’t fathom why anyone couldn’t."
I’m giving you all my brownie points! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might!
A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.
Better to find out before meeting him in person.
"
Yes if I am chatting to someone for a while, I will test them. I've had too many "dominant" men get aggressive on me so I push the boundary to see their reaction. |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"This isn’t a ‘Brownie Points’ comment as much as it may look like one, but I’m sorry you all have to deal with blokes being dickheads in such a manner.
I’m far from perfect in many other respects, but I understand ‘No’ and I can’t fathom why anyone couldn’t.
I’m giving you all my brownie points! "
Awww, thanking you kindly! Do Brownie Points make prizes……?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The internet gives reach to people that normally wouldn't have that.
It allows people to act in a way they normally wouldn't, because the consequences are far less (usually) and almost anonymous.
It's frustrating that people choose to act this way, but don't allow their actions to ruin your day or experience here.
They have to live with themselves with their attitude.
I imagine they often find things very difficult for them and without realising they are likely the root of their own problems. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.
I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.
I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life. |
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
Those are my thoughts too
Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?"
I'm giving the benefit of the doubt.. I don't think it necessarily follows that persistent chancers online are potential forceful monsters in real life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.
I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.
I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life."
It’s frightening to think what he would be like in person/real life if you said no to him, if he is outraged online and acts like that  |
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"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?
Those are my thoughts too
Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?
I'm giving the benefit of the doubt.. I don't think it necessarily follows that persistent chancers online are potential forceful monsters in real life "
This ^ more than likely brave behind their keyboard but in person, the quiet mouse in the corner. Someone’s online presence is not a true reflection of them in person, in my opinion. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.
I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.
I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life.
It’s frightening to think what he would be like in person/real life if you said no to him, if he is outraged online and acts like that "
This is very true and it shows me I made the right call saying no. |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"I can only say guys because that's all the experience I've had and I'm aware it isn't all guys but jeeze some guys just can't take no for an answer... It's quite worrying when they can't even respect a no in a message.
I see alot on the forums, on profiles and also in messages 'if you're not interested just say' or it's ignorant to just delete and/or block but when you tell someone you're not interested because they are too far away etc they try and convince you otherwise or throw a barrage of insults at you.
If someone's made the effort to sent a decent message sometimes I like to at least tell them no politely rather than delete and block.
Good Friday my arse lol.
Rant over "
Have noticed an increase in people like this lately  |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.
I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.
I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life.
It’s frightening to think what he would be like in person/real life if you said no to him, if he is outraged online and acts like that "
At least they show their character early. I've heard horror stories from ex fabbers who found out too late. One lady friend was locked in a hotel room and sexually assaulted because the guy wouldn't take no for an answer.
Absolutely horrific. Obviously the guy went UNLOS as he kicked her out.
Ladies here are right to be cautious. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Is it really worrying though?
Just ignore or block them
Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?
Yes it is very worrying. I’ve just dealt with one who wouldn’t leave me allow after I said a polite no thank you and had another account set up to continue harassing me on. Block features does not work and fabswingers should be doing more like blocking users IP.
Have you tried blocking unverified profiles and newbies on the filters page? It should make it a bit trickier for them. Although I'm not sure how Fab defines "newbie"
I agree IP blocking would work better, although if someone is *really* persistent they can use multiple devices. "
IP blocking isn't the answer. The site already uses IP addresses for certain aspects (preventing you from verifying someone else via the same IP address for example to stop fake verifications) but most devices these days use dynamic IP addresses as they're better for security. Add the number of people who use VPN's and IP blocking becomes even more tricky.
As much of a pain in the arse that people can be online, if that's the only contact you've had then just block. And if it happens again? Block again. Don't engage in conversation, don't reply and report any abuse.
Muppets generally give up if they don't get a reaction, so don't give them one.
A |
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I don't know what I do differently, but in many years of being on here I can count the number of abusive messages that I've received on one hand...and will even admit that a couple of those were at least partially invited after sending extremely sarcastic replies to their initial ridiculous message. Either way, I couldn't give a monkey's bollocks for the opinion of a stranger on the Internet.
Grown men having a tantrum because I don't want to bounce on their penis will never fail to amuse me though  |
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