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Long term swinging and infidelity.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After a number of years of swinging, does it become an addiction that is very difficult to shake off?
Once you take up in a vanilla relationship, do you seem to always find yourself out of habit, being drawn back to sites such as Fabs or even online dating sites looking for casual kinky encounters?
Do we get addicted to the thrill or risk or is it due to there being something we are missing when being in a “regular” and something routine vanilla relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once a Swinger always a Swinger. Not their fault they cheat. It's in their pores.
Bit odd to get into a vanilla boring sex relationship. Pay half the bills but carry on fucking around woohooooo! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely not an addiction, I'd happily be monogamous if that's what we mutually agreed to as a couple.
I'm emotionally monogamous anyway, I couldn't ever have feelings for more than one person at a time. I view swinging encounters as purely physical pleasure, they're in a completely different mental box to my relationship...a fun activity, but not something that I couldn't do without. |
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There’s some who are in swinging relationships and still even cheat on their partners! Imagine, your partner is open to the idea of you being intimate with people outside of the relationship and it’s still not enough  the mind boggles…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldn’t say it was addiction for me
I am single and just have fun if the right person came in to my life yes I could give it up
Also think it’s better if someone been in the life or had lots off “fun” though out they life before we meet
As it means less desers to do things my sexual bucket list is ticked I can take or leave them there isn’t that burning desser to go out and chase them
If say in a closed realship
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"After a number of years of swinging, does it become an addiction that is very difficult to shake off?
Once you take up in a vanilla relationship, do you seem to always find yourself out of habit, being drawn back to sites such as Fabs or even online dating sites looking for casual kinky encounters?
Do we get addicted to the thrill or risk or is it due to there being something we are missing when being in a “regular” and something routine vanilla relationship? "
For me the answer to all the above is "no". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ask my ex.. he could give you a very thorough list of excuses and reasons and justifications or explanations.
Px"
Maybe you forgot the several times it was done to him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everything is so overcomplicated here.
If you’re with somebody you like what are you missing?
Sex with people you don’t like?
Watching other people having sex with somebody you do like?
People say “lifestyle” like it’s a profession.
It’s just adults, doing adult stuff, like normal consenting adults.
I mean granted, it’s not all normal but Jesus Christ. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything is so overcomplicated here.
If you’re with somebody you like what are you missing?
Sex with people you don’t like?
Watching other people having sex with somebody you do like?
People say “lifestyle” like it’s a profession.
It’s just adults, doing adult stuff, like normal consenting adults.
I mean granted, it’s not all normal but Jesus Christ."
Ffs Jonny just fuck the other woman in front of me!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything is so overcomplicated here.
If you’re with somebody you like what are you missing?
Sex with people you don’t like?
Watching other people having sex with somebody you do like?
People say “lifestyle” like it’s a profession.
It’s just adults, doing adult stuff, like normal consenting adults.
I mean granted, it’s not all normal but Jesus Christ.
Ffs Jonny just fuck the other woman in front of me!!!
"
Stop whoring me out!! |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I don’t know where the mentality of having to give up something you enjoy when you meet someone in the non fab world comes from?
The problem isn’t swinging the problem is humans forget how to communicate, they forget that enjoying sex isn’t shameful and they forget even just momentarily who they are when they start to fall for someone - the more they fall and don’t discuss things that’s when the cracks appear and that urge to satisfy the suppressed side of you comes in.
If you meet someone you truly like tell them about you, don’t miss out the parts your scared they’ll judge you on, if they like you it either won’t matter or perhaps there will be intrigue and they’ll want to come along for the ride - if it’s not for them then YOU decide whether you need it or there worth more - that’s it in a nutshell for me xx |
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If one of us decided we didn’t want to do it anymore then we wouldn’t do it anymore, our relationship is the most important thing. We can still talk about fantasies.
If I was single and looking to go into a new relationship I’d have to know they at least had an interest in sex other than vanilla, wouldn’t have to be swapping but at least talking about it during sex or I would end up very frustrated however much you love someone. |
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"I don’t know where the mentality of having to give up something you enjoy when you meet someone in the non fab world comes from?
The problem isn’t swinging the problem is humans forget how to communicate, they forget that enjoying sex isn’t shameful and they forget even just momentarily who they are when they start to fall for someone - the more they fall and don’t discuss things that’s when the cracks appear and that urge to satisfy the suppressed side of you comes in.
If you meet someone you truly like tell them about you, don’t miss out the parts your scared they’ll judge you on, if they like you it either won’t matter or perhaps there will be intrigue and they’ll want to come along for the ride - if it’s not for them then YOU decide whether you need it or there worth more - that’s it in a nutshell for me xx"
This! 
It's not that I can't be monogamous, I just don't want to be. I want to date people on the same wavelength as me who enjoy the same things as me and that includes going to swingers clubs and kink events and having wild, sexy adventures together . |
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"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics
What power dynamics?
Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you "
No worries, I really wasn’t being arsey just interested  |
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"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics
What power dynamics?
Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you
No worries, I really wasn’t being arsey just interested "
Well in short, I think a lot of swinging relationships go sour because the women is spoilt for choice and the man isn’t
They get into it thinking it’ll be all sweet. Then the guy has to watch the 50th bloke shag his misses and there’s not a MFF in sight.
Obviously doesn’t apply to everyone. But I think it’s a strong power dynamic many don’t consider and it can breed a lot of jealousy if both people aren’t mature enough |
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"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics
What power dynamics?
Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you
No worries, I really wasn’t being arsey just interested
Well in short, I think a lot of swinging relationships go sour because the women is spoilt for choice and the man isn’t
They get into it thinking it’ll be all sweet. Then the guy has to watch the 50th bloke shag his misses and there’s not a MFF in sight.
Obviously doesn’t apply to everyone. But I think it’s a strong power dynamic many don’t consider and it can breed a lot of jealousy if both people aren’t mature enough "
Oh I can see why you wrote that then, I can’t say I’ve seen that happen at all but that’s not to say you are wrong, just that we haven’t known about it |
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