FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Touching others ….
Touching others ….
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something…. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything …."
I go out of my way to give others as much space as I can when in close proximity.
I have to work in environments where there are a lot of young females and always ask before invading their space to do something.
I would never assume that it was ok to make contact with anyone without permission  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m a tactile person and I do try and keep my hands to myself especially as my kid is very touch averse and flinches if I even gently touch on the shoulder.
I’m deaf so I am sometimes grateful for a gentle touch on the arm get my attention. Some people are handsy but if this turns to a cheeky grope I will verbally indicate that this is unwelcome. Often though I’m not very gentle about it as I will be quite blunt. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m a tactile person so I’m generally happy with it, although I do actually often feel uncomfortable if a female touches me when I’m not really friends with them.
I’m also very awkward with the old kiss on the cheek thing.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything ….
I go out of my way to give others as much space as I can when in close proximity.
I have to work in environments where there are a lot of young females and always ask before invading their space to do something.
I would never assume that it was ok to make contact with anyone without permission "
Love your answer  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am fine with either gender touching my shoulders or arms, so long as it is not a caress (or lingering touch), anywhere else would make me feel uncomfortable if a stranger touched me.
People that I know and care for is a different matter, I am a very physically affectionate person, and love giving and receiving physical touch as a way of connection and affirmation of our relationship (be that friendship or more)
MJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It depends really on who and the situation example the customer who tried to help me take a piss was not appreciated  but generally i like to touch and be touched
Touch list neck back and nails gently scraped on my head will literally make me shake my leg like a dogs magic spot
Do not touch my ears with fingers tho or il bite |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm very handsy and huggy with people I am familiar with. with new introductions it's the open armed smile pause first before enveloping them, so a no can be said.
However all contact is to be taken as non sexually though, as it's in the friendzone that I like to play in public. Sexually is for behind closed doors  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything …."
Personally I would consider bum to be sexual and I also feel that small of the back can be verging on that territory. Personally I don't mind places like arms, shoulders or upper back. I tend to have more issues with people who get uncomfortably close and my leaning or stepping back is sometimes met with them just moving closer again. I have to admit I'm not always very good at saying something as I'm trying to be polite. If someone touched my bum, boobs or face when it was unwanted I would say something though. I'll also say something if people hang off my shoulders as it makes me feel claustrophobic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything ….
Personally I would consider bum to be sexual and I also feel that small of the back can be verging on that territory. Personally I don't mind places like arms, shoulders or upper back. I tend to have more issues with people who get uncomfortably close and my leaning or stepping back is sometimes met with them just moving closer again. I have to admit I'm not always very good at saying something as I'm trying to be polite. If someone touched my bum, boobs or face when it was unwanted I would say something though. I'll also say something if people hang off my shoulders as it makes me feel claustrophobic. "
This is exactly how I feel. It makes me really uncomfortable, but it’s hard to say, with a stranger isn’t it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't mind hugs and random touches from friends but what annoys me is when strangers give my trouser bulge a touch or squeeze, is worse on the tube or at the gym, I now know how pregnant women feel when people automatically think they can touch their bump! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything ….
All game really, the swingers handshake isn’t it ?  "
So, if you met a swinger socially, would you do that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not great at being touched...I dont mind a hug greeting etc but on the whole I'm a no touching zone.
Someone ruffled my hair at the weekend and I nearly growled at him  .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not okay with it, unless it's some body that I know well enough. And I certainly do not touch others."
Same
Don’t touch me, I will say something about it too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Unless it's someone I know well, in most cases it's not something I'd appreciate
I’m with you. Do you do/say anything?
I'd like to think that I would "
I’d like to think that I would too, but actually it can be awkward, and I’m not sure I always do  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So, if it’s someone I like. Then he can touch me as much as he likes. I love contact and yes, even have my bum smacked or felt when I’m trying to do other stuff.
But that’s where it sort of ends. Generally, I do hate when people touch me, u ever had those who try touch when they speak to you?
Maybe cos they are half d*unk. Like no,
Get
Away.
I feel very much like a cat
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm very handsy and huggy with people I am familiar with. with new introductions it's the open armed smile pause first before enveloping them, so a no can be said.
However all contact is to be taken as non sexually though, as it's in the friendzone that I like to play in public. Sexually is for behind closed doors "
D. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So, if it’s someone I like. Then he can touch me as much as he likes. I love contact and yes, even have my bum smacked or felt when I’m trying to do other stuff.
But that’s where it sort of ends. Generally, I do hate when people touch me, u ever had those who try touch when they speak to you?
Maybe cos they are half d*unk. Like no,
Get
Away.
I feel very much like a cat
"
Yes to all this. Hmmm, maybe I’m channeling my inner cat too (miaow) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not comfortable touching or being touched by anyone I don't know and pretty much the same for anyone I do know. I don't see the need for me to ever touch anyones bum, leg, arm, head etc without consent. I would expect the same courtesy from others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Unless it's someone I know well, in most cases it's not something I'd appreciate
I’m with you. Do you do/say anything?
I'd like to think that I would
I’d like to think that I would too, but actually it can be awkward, and I’m not sure I always do "
I can't recall it happening |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything ….
All game really, the swingers handshake isn’t it ?
So, if you met a swinger socially, would you do that? "
I gave the guy a hug when we left a social meet last weekend and mid week we had an MMF and I was on the ropes so had to edge , I leaned forward and grabbed to dudes shoulder to fight back the climax, he fist pumped me after when I said cheers, but I guess if he had got upset I’d have just apologised, I do t get hung up on these things. Though this thread has showed me I should probably think before being handsy , I’m very tactile by nature so I don’t give a second thought of a hand on someone’s shoulder to get that sweet angle. Thanks for the heads up other posters |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Not comfortable touching or being touched by anyone I don't know and pretty much the same for anyone I do know. I don't see the need for me to ever touch anyones bum, leg, arm, head etc without consent. I would expect the same courtesy from others. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything ….
I go out of my way to give others as much space as I can when in close proximity.
I have to work in environments where there are a lot of young females and always ask before invading their space to do something.
I would never assume that it was ok to make contact with anyone without permission
Love your answer "
Great answer...one of my clients is a womens fashion brand with a lot of young women....they are friendly..but keep my distance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No I don’t think you should touch anyone you don’t know or not friends/close with, its stepping over the line in my eyes.
It’s completely different if you are friends and on that level with them, but not someone you’ve just met or don’t know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something…."
Lol we love it, Cherry both sexes, Tony depends as not fully bi...
We love being tactile with others during long, unrushed meets. At one, Tony was sat with the lady and very slowly moved in while chatting. A gentle touch on her hand, stroking her arms, shoulder and leg with feathery touches, then her finally her cheek. This went on for an hour or so when Tony just had to say something as she was sat there frozen like a stone statue !?. "Is this ok ?, should I stop ?"... to which she desperately replied after taking a deep breath "OH GOD NO DON'T STOP !!". Yes her partner was NOT tactile or gentle and she absolutely loved and craved such affection... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m really tactile with friends although have friends who aren’t and respect that. But random strangers or work colleagues coming too close makes me very uncomfortable, and sometimes I’ll even recoil if someone sits next to me on the train. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with. "
Same with all this.
We have huggy people at work who think it's funny that I don't want a hug from them and they do it anyway.  Oh how I laugh. Not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
I used to be fairly tactile with friends and family and to some extent I still am. Work is a different matter and it would leave me open to so many conciquences that it has impacted on me touching friends and family.
Although I do still shake hands and kiss F&F when I meet them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm very tactile, so welcome physical contact from others...what and where is acceptable depends on the people and situation. I always shake hands when meeting new people at work, and friends always get a hug and/or kiss. I do also have a tendency to touch arms or hands during a conversation.
Occasionally though, there are people that just give me the creeps, but my body language will usually tell them that they shouldn't touch me...and if they do I have no qualms about asking them not to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No I don’t think you should touch anyone you don’t know or not friends/close with, its stepping over the line in my eyes.
It’s completely different if you are friends and on that level with them, but not someone you’ve just met or don’t know."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something….
Lol we love it, Cherry both sexes, Tony depends as not fully bi...
We love being tactile with others during long, unrushed meets. At one, Tony was sat with the lady and very slowly moved in while chatting. A gentle touch on her hand, stroking her arms, shoulder and leg with feathery touches, then her finally her cheek. This went on for an hour or so when Tony just had to say something as she was sat there frozen like a stone statue !?. "Is this ok ?, should I stop ?"... to which she desperately replied after taking a deep breath "OH GOD NO DON'T STOP !!". Yes her partner was NOT tactile or gentle and she absolutely loved and craved such affection..."
It wasn’t referring to meets so much. More when you meet people socially, whether in a swinger environment or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
OOOh, quite a touchy subject(no pun intended). I suppose it depends on the circumstances, if it is in company you are familiar with or have been chatting with and getting on well then I suppose a soft touch "not a full on grope" should be seen as a form of affection, I am comfortable with being touched and quite like it as I see it as a form of affection not an intrusion. That said I never touch anyone I'm meeting either socially or for more without first asking as I am nervous of how it would be received. It is so easy to missread how comfortable someone is with you so I think the safe option is to ask or if you are touched first it is a sign you may touch back hopefully. I remember on a social meet once the lady got out of the car, stood in front of me very close but I still felt the need to ask to touch, it went quite well, ladies still like to encounter a gent. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with.
Same with all this.
We have huggy people at work who think it's funny that I don't want a hug from them and they do it anyway. Oh how I laugh. Not. "
Urgh. I hate that, so disrespectful |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OOOh, quite a touchy subject(no pun intended). I suppose it depends on the circumstances, if it is in company you are familiar with or have been chatting with and getting on well then I suppose a soft touch "not a full on grope" should be seen as a form of affection, I am comfortable with being touched and quite like it as I see it as a form of affection not an intrusion. That said I never touch anyone I'm meeting either socially or for more without first asking as I am nervous of how it would be received. It is so easy to missread how comfortable someone is with you so I think the safe option is to ask or if you are touched first it is a sign you may touch back hopefully. I remember on a social meet once the lady got out of the car, stood in front of me very close but I still felt the need to ask to touch, it went quite well, ladies still like to encounter a gent."
More people should think like this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
Touch is hugely arousing and comforting for me, I’m a massage therapist so it’s a daily occurrence. It never feels like work for me as I enjoy even the clinical approach to relieve and release someone. But in a more intimate setting it’s very primal for me ranging from delicate and gentle touches up to intense and strong.
Being straight I’d say having a man touch me doesn’t excite the senses in the same way. But in a professional manner I’ve had some very good massages from men too that left me totally relaxed.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It depends on the person and my perception of them. Generally, don’t touch me but if I like you on a human level i generally let it slide as I know it’s in good spirits "
Where do you stand on being fed cake? asking for a friend? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it's usually obvious when it's a friendly touch or something else. Some people are just naturally warm and friendly. This old lady, a neighbour, always holds my arm when she is chatting. It's just an endearment thing ( unless she is feeling unsteady and needs to hold on to something). There are boundaries of decency that should never be crossed and also important not to make anyone else uncomfortableif its not their thing. Different cultures also have different traditions like when you greet and kiss on one or both cheeks once or more. Its not one size fits all kind of thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Body language is very important with physical contact. It can either reinforce that connection or is to push someone away.
If someone touches me that we both have open body language then I’m good with that but if it’s closed then it’s not welcomed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with.
Same with all this.
We have huggy people at work who think it's funny that I don't want a hug from them and they do it anyway. Oh how I laugh. Not.
Urgh. I hate that, so disrespectful "
The fact that they laugh about it and make a big show of how 'frigid' I am to not want them touching me, makes it worse.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's usually obvious when it's a friendly touch or something else. Some people are just naturally warm and friendly. This old lady, a neighbour, always holds my arm when she is chatting. It's just an endearment thing ( unless she is feeling unsteady and needs to hold on to something). There are boundaries of decency that should never be crossed and also important not to make anyone else uncomfortableif its not their thing. Different cultures also have different traditions like when you greet and kiss on one or both cheeks once or more. Its not one size fits all kind of thing. "
I happily hug my friends when I want to.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with.
Same with all this.
We have huggy people at work who think it's funny that I don't want a hug from them and they do it anyway. Oh how I laugh. Not.
Urgh. I hate that, so disrespectful
The fact that they laugh about it and make a big show of how 'frigid' I am to not want them touching me, makes it worse.
"
That’s really awful, I’m so sorry . I absolutely get how you feel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anything more than a handshake then I'd need to know them at least a little bit I'm not a fan of the literal "good job" pat on the back though, it just feels condescending for some reason.
LvM"
What about sticking a dildo in your ear? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with.
Same with all this.
We have huggy people at work who think it's funny that I don't want a hug from them and they do it anyway. Oh how I laugh. Not.
Urgh. I hate that, so disrespectful
The fact that they laugh about it and make a big show of how 'frigid' I am to not want them touching me, makes it worse.
"
Oh this is awful. I hate that you have to deal with this lots of love |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it  x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anything more than a handshake then I'd need to know them at least a little bit I'm not a fan of the literal "good job" pat on the back though, it just feels condescending for some reason.
LvM
What about sticking a dildo in your ear? "
As long as it's evened out by a second in the other ear then I'm good
LvM |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anything more than a handshake then I'd need to know them at least a little bit I'm not a fan of the literal "good job" pat on the back though, it just feels condescending for some reason.
LvM
What about sticking a dildo in your ear?
As long as it's evened out by a second in the other ear then I'm good
LvM"
Balance |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It depends on the context, if someone's passing me in a narrow gap and the put their hand on my back I have no issue
But you'll find others that will stand to close, touch and linger and that's just sleazy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I really don’t like it. I had a colleague at work kiss me on the cheek once because I helped her with something and it made so uncomfortable. Didn’t say anything because just felt like it would cause more problems than it was worth.
Hate being touched anywhere by anyone unless we’re friends or it’s understood we are heading towards something physical.
Not sure where it comes from because I’m extremely touchy feely with people I’m in relationships with.
Same with all this.
We have huggy people at work who think it's funny that I don't want a hug from them and they do it anyway. Oh how I laugh. Not.
Urgh. I hate that, so disrespectful
The fact that they laugh about it and make a big show of how 'frigid' I am to not want them touching me, makes it worse.
Oh this is awful. I hate that you have to deal with this lots of love "
They don't do it all the time. I have a face like a slapped arse so they avoid even speaking to me now...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it x
No way, that’s awful though "
Actually was quite nice x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it x"
That’s horrible, I’d have punched his lights out! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it x
No way, that’s awful though
Actually was quite nice x"
I would have found that very distressing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it x
That’s horrible, I’d have punched his lights out! "
I would have told him if it offended me b sure of it x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am a very tactical person and have to be mindful when I’m chatting to new people.
In a club environment I always ask permission and expect the same in return.
Always say if I’m feeling overcrowded and politely ask the voyeurs to take a step back.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I like my personal space, so no, prefer not to be touched. Unless it's someone I know/someone who has my permission to touch me.
I really hate it in swingers clubs when some men think a woman is fair game because she's in the club herself. Had a situation very recently when a guy was trying to talk to me in the pool but he couldn't just talk, he had to touch me, too. Granted, it was "just" my arm, but it was enough to put me off. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I totally get that. As a man I see men in clubs move ultra creepy thinking all single women are fair game and like 'community property'. Its not right"
It’s really not, and it’s a guaranteed way to do themselves out of any fun too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me, physical touch equates to intimacy, and I am only comfortable with it with those I am intimate with.
Have you seen the “Blind Date” Mr. Bean? Where the girl moves in to greet him with a hug/kiss and he pushes her away and offers his hand to shake? That’s me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something…."
Not without being asked or asking first.
The exception to that being in a crowded and noisy place where trying to get someones attention may involve a tap on the shoulder or arm.
I certainly wouldn’t touch someones privates, chest or bum without there being an existing relationship there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've started to become a regular at kink parties and clubs and when it comes to touching I'm a bit on the fence.
As a straight man I'm not into being touched by other men but during play things happen.
I'm not adverse to being touched by women as to a degree I can understand why they would want to touch, but it is still slyly annoying.
Especially when they are just Voyeurs
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
If it's someone I don't know being too familiar it annoys me, and sometimes I'll jump a little if I'm not expecting it which makes people think I don't want it when really I'd quite like it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If it's someone i know it's fine, a stranger, absolutely not. I've been out in a bar and had guys grope/slap my bum and try to put their arm around me, sorry but you're getting told to F off and threatened with the Police if you don't back off.
It's about consent and boundaries! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I totally get that. As a man I see men in clubs move ultra creepy thinking all single women are fair game and like 'community property'. Its not right
It’s really not, and it’s a guaranteed way to do themselves out of any fun too. "
I totally agree. I find it highly annoying as it really does kill things for the single guys who do move accordingly.
So it don't surprise me that so many women choose to put on their profiles, it's just couples they play with and rule out single men |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not just sexually, could be a hand on your back/bum/arm - anything …."
When I am dolled up I always take a hand on my bum as being sexual. And I totally love it.
Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I will end up having sex with the person who has put his or her hand on my bum, in fact I more often end up not having sex.
Never the less, I love the feel of a hand on my bum. I love being in a bar and having someone chatting to me and their hand just cupping my bum… oooh crumbs, I can feel my legs going all jelly like just thinking about it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x "
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing?"
I’m curious, does that make a difference? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *9alMan
over a year ago
Bridgend |
"So, if it’s someone I like. Then he can touch me as much as he likes. I love contact and yes, even have my bum smacked or felt when I’m trying to do other stuff.
But that’s where it sort of ends. Generally, I do hate when people touch me, u ever had those who try touch when they speak to you?
Maybe cos they are half d*unk. Like no,
Get
Away.
I feel very much like a cat
"
I think cats have it right if they are in the mood they purr if not welcome they scratch |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omer47Man
over a year ago
leigh |
If its a random stranger just coming up touching me then I'm not sure I'd like it if its someone I knew or have met before then i don't think I'd mind, depending on where and how they touched me. Obviously if its during a meet then yes I want them to touch me all over. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it x"
 I would have completely lost my shit at him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Strangers shouldn't touch me in any way, anywhere and I wouldn't touch them. Most of my friends and family are tactile with each other in a non-sexual way. Hugs, hand on the arm etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm a very tactile person. I love the feel of the human touch by someone who I want to be touched by. However if I don't know you. You may be at risk of my over active reflexes. It's all about consent. People should ask rather than assume.
Although saying that I greeted most of the fabbers at the weekend with a cheek kiss.(although we have been chatting for at least a year) I hope I didn't cross over anybody else's line unknowingly. I apologise whole heartedly if I did.
Jo.Xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm a very tactile person. I love the feel of the human touch by someone who I want to be touched by. However if I don't know you. You may be at risk of my over active reflexes. It's all about consent. People should ask rather than assume.
Although saying that I greeted most of the fabbers at the weekend with a cheek kiss.(although we have been chatting for at least a year) I hope I didn't cross over anybody else's line unknowingly. I apologise whole heartedly if I did.
Jo.Xx
"
I’d touch you both |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't mind being touched! I'm a very touchy Feely person! Was a bit taken aback at a group social I went to a few weeks back when a man I didn't know put his had up my dress! but actually I liked it x
I would have completely lost my shit at him "
Yes it could have been a very different situation for sure! But I was OK with it after the initial shock! We had been chating quite naughty for a while first tbh! Not saying that gave him the green light! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm a very tactile person. I love the feel of the human touch by someone who I want to be touched by. However if I don't know you. You may be at risk of my over active reflexes. It's all about consent. People should ask rather than assume.
Although saying that I greeted most of the fabbers at the weekend with a cheek kiss.(although we have been chatting for at least a year) I hope I didn't cross over anybody else's line unknowingly. I apologise whole heartedly if I did.
Jo.Xx
"
I look forward to more of your delicious hugs Jo
And I definitely did put myself at risk from your overactive reflexes coming at you from behind  which was poor form on my part, over excitedness to envelop you in my arms is not a good excuse xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something…."
By a complete stranger, NO
By a work colleague - handshakes only
By a friend, YES
In a naughty club - they have to ask! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends on my mood to be honest. I don't particularly like people in my space in general. But I realise most people aren't the same. So I'm used to people hugging etc as I understand it's their way to show affection. But if I'm having a bad day it can be a bit too much for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm a very tactile person. I love the feel of the human touch by someone who I want to be touched by. However if I don't know you. You may be at risk of my over active reflexes. It's all about consent. People should ask rather than assume.
Although saying that I greeted most of the fabbers at the weekend with a cheek kiss.(although we have been chatting for at least a year) I hope I didn't cross over anybody else's line unknowingly. I apologise whole heartedly if I did.
Jo.Xx
"
You can snog me anytime |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I’m extremely tactile - I can be chatting away with someone and I’ve placed my hand on there knee without realising or I’ve hugged them that bit longer than some deem appropriate - I love the human touch doesn’t matter if it’s from a male or female - what does matter is when it’s from a stranger and it’s a grope of my bum or something more sexualised that’s uncomfortable and over stepping the mark for me however I’d just politely tell them not to do it again and move on.
You pinched my bum OP and I bloody liked it but then we have spoken for ages so it felt like a friendly greeting xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something….
By a complete stranger, NO
By a work colleague - handshakes only
By a friend, YES
In a naughty club - they have to ask! "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m extremely tactile - I can be chatting away with someone and I’ve placed my hand on there knee without realising or I’ve hugged them that bit longer than some deem appropriate - I love the human touch doesn’t matter if it’s from a male or female - what does matter is when it’s from a stranger and it’s a grope of my bum or something more sexualised that’s uncomfortable and over stepping the mark for me however I’d just politely tell them not to do it again and move on.
You pinched my bum OP and I bloody liked it but then we have spoken for ages so it felt like a friendly greeting xxx"
You can pinch my bum anytime |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
"I’m extremely tactile - I can be chatting away with someone and I’ve placed my hand on there knee without realising or I’ve hugged them that bit longer than some deem appropriate - I love the human touch doesn’t matter if it’s from a male or female - what does matter is when it’s from a stranger and it’s a grope of my bum or something more sexualised that’s uncomfortable and over stepping the mark for me however I’d just politely tell them not to do it again and move on.
You pinched my bum OP and I bloody liked it but then we have spoken for ages so it felt like a friendly greeting xxx
You can pinch my bum anytime "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unless invited to do so, no.
Probably from being groped by multiple Men in pubs/bars/clubs in the past though...have no tolerance for it."
I should elaborate, not just sexual touching.
Also for example someone touching my arm and back trying to get close to me despite me already saying no, and them trying to justify it because "they're not hurting me", and continuing to try and touch me.
If I have told you no, I expect you to back the fuck off. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm a very tactile person. I love the feel of the human touch by someone who I want to be touched by. However if I don't know you. You may be at risk of my over active reflexes. It's all about consent. People should ask rather than assume.
Although saying that I greeted most of the fabbers at the weekend with a cheek kiss.(although we have been chatting for at least a year) I hope I didn't cross over anybody else's line unknowingly. I apologise whole heartedly if I did.
Jo.Xx
I look forward to more of your delicious hugs Jo
And I definitely did put myself at risk from your overactive reflexes coming at you from behind which was poor form on my part, over excitedness to envelop you in my arms is not a good excuse xxx"
Oh shhhh you! 
I can't wait either.
And to be fair D had a huge smile on his face so you were obviously someone who I knew. It's fine.
Jo.Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"This is a question for both sexes.
Are you ok with being touched by someone?
Does it make a difference if it’s by someone who’s a different sex?
Does it matter where on your body?
If you don’t like it, do you say something…."
I'm a big respector of people's personal space. I am very aware that even the suggestion of impropriety can have huge ramifications, so I am very careful if I need to encroach and always ask/inform.
On the flip side my background in Jujitsu means I am *very* comfortable when people are in my space, and my job has meant I have had to be in very physically uncomfortable positions in direct contact with others.
If the contact is unwanted - refer back to Jujitsu |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It really does depend on the situation & person.
I’ve been known to touch a stranger on the upper arm when comforting them if upset, but wouldn’t think of taking it further than that.
Friends will get a hug when I met them, but not all
In the right circumstances I can be very tactile, but again comes back to the individual.
Never want to make anyone uncomfortable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It depends on the person and my perception of them. Generally, don’t touch me but if I like you on a human level i generally let it slide as I know it’s in good spirits
Where do you stand on being fed cake? asking for a friend?"
Well it totally depends on who your friend and whether there are cuddles and tea involved.
Obviously, this is all on the assumption that the cake being offered isn’t lemon drizzle, in which case I wouldn’t even entertain the conversation  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It depends on the person and my perception of them. Generally, don’t touch me but if I like you on a human level i generally let it slide as I know it’s in good spirits
Where do you stand on being fed cake? asking for a friend?
Well it totally depends on who your friend and whether there are cuddles and tea involved.
Obviously, this is all on the assumption that the cake being offered isn’t lemon drizzle, in which case I wouldn’t even entertain the conversation "
Pfft. Spoil my fun why don’t you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm a very tactile person. I love the feel of the human touch by someone who I want to be touched by. However if I don't know you. You may be at risk of my over active reflexes. It's all about consent. People should ask rather than assume.
Although saying that I greeted most of the fabbers at the weekend with a cheek kiss.(although we have been chatting for at least a year) I hope I didn't cross over anybody else's line unknowingly. I apologise whole heartedly if I did.
Jo.Xx
I look forward to more of your delicious hugs Jo
And I definitely did put myself at risk from your overactive reflexes coming at you from behind which was poor form on my part, over excitedness to envelop you in my arms is not a good excuse xxx
Oh shhhh you!
I can't wait either.
And to be fair D had a huge smile on his face so you were obviously someone who I knew. It's fine.
Jo.Xx "
I wanted to say it xxx
And the delight on both of your faces was pure bliss |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I tend to keep my hands clasped behind my back when I'm conversing with people. It makes me seem far more formal and unapproachable than I really am hence people tend not to touch me. Likewise, I tend to keep space between us and I don't touch others.
I'm very much the opposite when it is welcomed and I'm invited to touch. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
No, I don’t like it. But then I worked in a role that hands on was not acceptable for a variety of reasons and that’s ingrained in me now, a touch from a stranger puts me on edge and makes me feel uncomfortable.
I don’t hug or kiss my friends either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No, I don’t like it. But then I worked in a role that hands on was not acceptable for a variety of reasons and that’s ingrained in me now, a touch from a stranger puts me on edge and makes me feel uncomfortable.
I don’t hug or kiss my friends either."
I hear you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing?
I’m curious, does that make a difference?"
I don't think it makes a difference, I wasnjust questioning the brazenness of people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing?
I’m curious, does that make a difference?
I don't think it makes a difference, I wasnjust questioning the brazenness of people"
I was just interested in whether there was a difference, there isn’t for me, but I think some people (not you) might think there is |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread has made me feel a lot better about myself. I was starting to think that I was a cold hearted bitch! I think I maybe still am but at least others feel the same as me!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread has made me feel a lot better about myself. I was starting to think that I was a cold hearted bitch! I think I maybe still am but at least others feel the same as me! "
Hahah definitely not!
People just need to keep their dirty hands away unless I allow them to touch me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread has made me feel a lot better about myself. I was starting to think that I was a cold hearted bitch! I think I maybe still am but at least others feel the same as me!
Hahah definitely not!
People just need to keep their dirty hands away unless I allow them to touch me "
Correct |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This thread has made me feel a lot better about myself. I was starting to think that I was a cold hearted bitch! I think I maybe still am but at least others feel the same as me! "
I don’t think wanting people to respect your body and personal space makes you cold hearted at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
" This is exactly how I feel. It makes me really uncomfortable, but it’s hard to say, with a stranger isn’t it. "
But… but… but…. You were quick to slap my hand away and call me a fucking creep at the weekend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I've started to become a regular at kink parties and clubs and when it comes to touching I'm a bit on the fence."
Most kinksters I know understand that you ask before touching anything, be that a person or a piece of kit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread has made me feel a lot better about myself. I was starting to think that I was a cold hearted bitch! I think I maybe still am but at least others feel the same as me!
I don’t think wanting people to respect your body and personal space makes you cold hearted at all. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint? "
I think the thing I dislike the most about an unwanted arm around the waist isn't even the contact but their ability to easily control my movement (or prevent me leaving) from that position. It's also something many associate with being partners and I sometimes feel like some men do it as a visual claim to you in public when they have no place to do so. I had a random man come over and put his arm around me on a train station platform once and only left because I loudly made a fuss about not knowing him and a group of men in front of me said that at first they thought we were a couple having a row because he so casually sat down and put his arm around me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint?
I think the thing I dislike the most about an unwanted arm around the waist isn't even the contact but their ability to easily control my movement (or prevent me leaving) from that position. It's also something many associate with being partners and I sometimes feel like some men do it as a visual claim to you in public when they have no place to do so. I had a random man come over and put his arm around me on a train station platform once and only left because I loudly made a fuss about not knowing him and a group of men in front of me said that at first they thought we were a couple having a row because he so casually sat down and put his arm around me. "
Omg. That’s really awful |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint?
I think the thing I dislike the most about an unwanted arm around the waist isn't even the contact but their ability to easily control my movement (or prevent me leaving) from that position. It's also something many associate with being partners and I sometimes feel like some men do it as a visual claim to you in public when they have no place to do so. I had a random man come over and put his arm around me on a train station platform once and only left because I loudly made a fuss about not knowing him and a group of men in front of me said that at first they thought we were a couple having a row because he so casually sat down and put his arm around me. "
People try it on and pretend not to realise it's inappropriate.
And then blame those who call them out.
I'm very bad at calling people out in that situation. I just freeze. Which people think is consent rather than a trauma response |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I manage a social club so always have people shaking my hand, hugs and pecks on the cheek from females , never bothered me , wouldn't be too happy if a male stranger tried kissing me on the cheek though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint?
I think the thing I dislike the most about an unwanted arm around the waist isn't even the contact but their ability to easily control my movement (or prevent me leaving) from that position. It's also something many associate with being partners and I sometimes feel like some men do it as a visual claim to you in public when they have no place to do so. I had a random man come over and put his arm around me on a train station platform once and only left because I loudly made a fuss about not knowing him and a group of men in front of me said that at first they thought we were a couple having a row because he so casually sat down and put his arm around me. "
I agree, it’s quite a dominant and territorial move isn’t it. I don’t like it at all but it happens to me more than I can tell you. I’d never dream of putting my arm around someone I don’t know! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint?
I think the thing I dislike the most about an unwanted arm around the waist isn't even the contact but their ability to easily control my movement (or prevent me leaving) from that position. It's also something many associate with being partners and I sometimes feel like some men do it as a visual claim to you in public when they have no place to do so. I had a random man come over and put his arm around me on a train station platform once and only left because I loudly made a fuss about not knowing him and a group of men in front of me said that at first they thought we were a couple having a row because he so casually sat down and put his arm around me.
People try it on and pretend not to realise it's inappropriate.
And then blame those who call them out.
I'm very bad at calling people out in that situation. I just freeze. Which people think is consent rather than a trauma response "
I'm pretty sure he knew it was inappropriate, I think the action was more about a display of familiarity to other men in the vicinity and it worked. I think he hoped I was too d*unk or scared to protest as much as I did. I also think he thought I was travelling alone when my partner had just gone to the toilet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s quite unreal how many men don’t take the hint or notice physical discomfort. I say men, as I haven’t been in appropriately touched by women (with the exception of one time at a club).
For example, I will hold out my hand on meeting a guy at a function, he will bypass this and kiss my cheek/hug.
The same with goodbyes, I’ll wave and make my way to the door but he’ll come over for another kiss on the cheek.
During my entertainment work (fire eater) I am constantly being touched, arm around the waist while chatting etc. I always move away, they never take the hint and I don’t want an atmosphere at a function so only speak up when I absolutely need to but why can’t they take a hint?
I think the thing I dislike the most about an unwanted arm around the waist isn't even the contact but their ability to easily control my movement (or prevent me leaving) from that position. It's also something many associate with being partners and I sometimes feel like some men do it as a visual claim to you in public when they have no place to do so. I had a random man come over and put his arm around me on a train station platform once and only left because I loudly made a fuss about not knowing him and a group of men in front of me said that at first they thought we were a couple having a row because he so casually sat down and put his arm around me.
People try it on and pretend not to realise it's inappropriate.
And then blame those who call them out.
I'm very bad at calling people out in that situation. I just freeze. Which people think is consent rather than a trauma response
I'm pretty sure he knew it was inappropriate, I think the action was more about a display of familiarity to other men in the vicinity and it worked. I think he hoped I was too d*unk or scared to protest as much as I did. I also think he thought I was travelling alone when my partner had just gone to the toilet. "
Yeah, I think the vast majority of people who do this know it's inappropriate. But if they pretend not to know, it somehow makes it ok. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing?"
Haha.. no I was in a shop x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing?
Haha.. no I was in a shop x"
To me it’s quite alarming that was even asked.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a queue for a kink venue, a swingers club or anywhere else for that matter. Nobody should be touching you like that without consent… |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was in a queue yesterday just as I was about to step to the till I felt a hand on my bum and then it was stroked, I immediately turnt and the woman went bright red and apologised. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy.
I don't like people touching me without my approval.
Nikki x
Was this a a queue for a kink event or a normal thing?
Haha.. no I was in a shop x
To me it’s quite alarming that was even asked.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a queue for a kink venue, a swingers club or anywhere else for that matter. Nobody should be touching you like that without consent…"
No, they shouldn’t, but actually I think a lot of kinksters are less likely to do it, because they are more aware of consent and boundaries. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to properly tense up at being touched because I just didn't expect it, even if it was a hand on the shoulder. But I think I've got better at letting people become more close and opening up a bit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"With family and friends very tactile, strangers I keep my distance, if being introduced it’s a polite handshake or casual hi depending on the situation."
Pretty much this; I'll always greet friends and family with a kiss and a hug (and I really missed that through Covid), and can be tactile when chatting to friends, especially if I know they are too, but can't think of any time where I would do the same with someone I didn't know well or a work colleague etc.
You just know what's appropriate, don't you (or should!), and if in any doubt, don't touch!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am not really a touchy-feely person.. I'll hug friends/family... but i can't do extended holds...and if anyone is slightly creepy I'll do my best to avoid contact, even if they are family.
If you were to touch someone at work you'd have a harassment case bought against you 
At something like a fab social i would expect strangers at the event to want to hug /kiss /touch my arm and I be relatively relaxed
In the street I'd be like wtf?! Unless there was a reason?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
