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Cheating

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The reason is “people”.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Both.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reason is wanting sex elsewhere anything else is an excuse

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

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By *ustmethistimeCouple over a year ago

East Midlands

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "

Sometimes, but not very often.

Usually the cheat makes an excuse.

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

Financial reasons

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I would think there’s always a reason. Although some could see reasons as excuses I suppose.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

But if it's not "valid" does that make it an excuse? x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a excuse there is no reason for cheating

If you have to justify cheating then you should have left

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge."

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

I have neither the self esteem or suck bankrupt morals to do that

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By *ustmethistimeCouple over a year ago

East Midlands

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons"

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

But if it's not "valid" does that make it an excuse? x"

In the mind of one party, probably. But in the mind of the other it may still be a reason.

Life isn't simple or black and white. Particularly for those involved but equally for those observing from outside of a relationship.

The old saying that there are three sides to a story is true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Women have reasons. Needing love and affection and a good fucking because her man is crap.

Men have excuses. Being a randy old goat who doesn't give a shit about his poor missus.

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?"

That’s true I do but could you honestly say that if you ain’t had physical love in years but still love your misses that you wouldn’t think about it. I have not as yet had the chance to cheat so in all honesty don’t know if I would

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Women have reasons. Needing love and affection and a good fucking because her man is crap.

Men have excuses. Being a randy old goat who doesn't give a shit about his poor missus. "

Can men not have the same reason?

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

"Women have reasons. Needing love and affection and a good fucking because her man is crap.

Men have excuses. Being a randy old goat who doesn't give a shit about his poor missus.

Can men not have the same reason?"

Your on the wrong forum buddy.

Only men cheat

Women just change their mind

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Women have reasons. Needing love and affection and a good fucking because her man is crap.

Men have excuses. Being a randy old goat who doesn't give a shit about his poor missus.

Can men not have the same reason?

Your on the wrong forum buddy.

Only men cheat

Women just change their mind "

Thought we had equal opertunities now ( shit at spelling)

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?"

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My reason is I can't bear to be beaten at Monopoly.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead"

Just curious....How can you say you love her if you are prepared to potentially destroy her?

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

The difference between a reason and an excuse is perspective and opinion.

Yes. There are reasons for cheating. There are also excuses for cheating. Whether either is valid depends on the perspective of the person hearing them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The difference between a reason and an excuse is perspective and opinion.

Yes. There are reasons for cheating. There are also excuses for cheating. Whether either is valid depends on the perspective of the person hearing them.

I think you have just written what I couldn't get out of my brain...if that makes sense

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead

Just curious....How can you say you love her if you are prepared to potentially destroy her?"

I’m only human and we all want a little pleasure in life it’s easy for women to say that but when your a bloke if we cheat it’s bad but not if a woman does it

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By *ustmethistimeCouple over a year ago

East Midlands

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

But isn't being on here already dishonest?

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead

Just curious....How can you say you love her if you are prepared to potentially destroy her?

I’m only human and we all want a little pleasure in life it’s easy for women to say that but when your a bloke if we cheat it’s bad but not if a woman does it"

Personally I think it's bad if either a man or woman cheats. Though I know men get a tougher ride (no pun intended)

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"Women have reasons. Needing love and affection and a good fucking because her man is crap.

Men have excuses. Being a randy old goat who doesn't give a shit about his poor missus.

Can men not have the same reason?

Your on the wrong forum buddy.

Only men cheat

Women just change their mind "

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"The difference between a reason and an excuse is perspective and opinion.

Yes. There are reasons for cheating. There are also excuses for cheating. Whether either is valid depends on the perspective of the person hearing them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead

Just curious....How can you say you love her if you are prepared to potentially destroy her?

I’m only human and we all want a little pleasure in life it’s easy for women to say that but when your a bloke if we cheat it’s bad but not if a woman does it"

It's only human?

To destroy someone you claim to "love"?

That's aimed at men and WOMEN who cheat. You want to cheat, cheat. Just don't bang on about how you love your partner, that is not love.

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By *ildmanYorksMan over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

My own personal perspective on this is cheating and having sex elsewhere for a reason are two separate things. Cheating is when you want more than you've got whether or not you get it at home and you're not part of a swinging couple. I seek sex elsewhere due to the wife having physical and mental difficulties with intimacy. She knows I still need intimacy and accepts that I occasionally find it elsewhere. However she doesn't want to know what I do, so it's not something we discuss. I don't consider that cheating, although other people's opinion my be different, but it works for us.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead

Just curious....How can you say you love her if you are prepared to potentially destroy her?

I’m only human and we all want a little pleasure in life it’s easy for women to say that but when your a bloke if we cheat it’s bad but not if a woman does it

It's only human?

To destroy someone you claim to "love"?

That's aimed at men and WOMEN who cheat. You want to cheat, cheat. Just don't bang on about how you love your partner, that is not love. "

I never quite got that concept either...thought it was just me. Why anyone would potentially want to destroy someone they professed to love escapes me x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you cheat on someone, you don’t love them.

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"We all want abit of love but don’t want to leave what we have at home there is still love but no physical love so if you want to judge then I’m ready but we all have our reasons

What are your thoughts about if you love someone then you treat them with honesty and respect?

How do you think your wife would feel if she found out?

I wouldn’t know cause I would be dead

Just curious....How can you say you love her if you are prepared to potentially destroy her?

I’m only human and we all want a little pleasure in life it’s easy for women to say that but when your a bloke if we cheat it’s bad but not if a woman does it

Personally I think it's bad if either a man or woman cheats. Though I know men get a tougher ride (no pun intended) "

It’s ok everybody has an opinion but until the time comes when somebody says I will sleep with you I don’t know how I will deal with it up to now I enjoy chatting with folk it sort of helps and doing a social something that doesn’t happen with the misses cause she don’t like going out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

cheaters are the fucking scum of the earth, née fucking excuses.

either have the minerals to own up that you aren't happy, or just fuck off to timbuktu eh.

no cares whatsoever about how their actions impact and affect other people.

cretins. P.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nail hit on head.

Every action has a reason.

But a valid reason = excuse.

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By *entBarryUKMan over a year ago

Ashford

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "

The cheater will always have an excuse. Some do it for the thrill, some because they hate their partner i guess. Honesty is always the best policy.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"cheaters are the fucking scum of the earth, née fucking excuses.

either have the minerals to own up that you aren't happy, or just fuck off to timbuktu eh.

no cares whatsoever about how their actions impact and affect other people.

cretins. P. "

Good answer....Great to see you back x

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

To say there’s no reason to cheat.

Go get married, start a business, get wealthy, then speak to a divorce lawyer

Sometimes getting divorced is just too expensive for one side. Imagine working 20-30 years building an empire only to have to give half of it away because you fell out of love.

It’s easy to paint every thing black and white and say there’s no reason to cheat. Very easy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "

Yes, there is always a reason and it is usually framed as an excuse.

People cheat on their significant others, not because of dick-brain or because they are unhappy in their relationship.

They do so because of their circumstance. born from a number of factors such as insecurity, fear, inability to communicate, etc. The shitty relationship isn't generally the route cause.

Some or all of that leads to people without trying to seek the comfort of others as a form of escapism.

Cheating is a two-party act, the cheater and the one being cheated on.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Interesting comments. My opinion is unless you’ve walked in someone’s shoes you have no idea. I feel the same with most things. Although I don’t really concern myself with how others choose to live their lives unless it directly affects me so I don’t much care anyway. I just do me and live my life without need for validation or approval from anyone in what I do or don’t do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

I can honesly safe 100% I wouldnt cheat on my wife .. if the guy is cheating then there's usually a female involved so your stupid thoughts are complete n utter bullshit .. any one who cheats .. man or woman are scum !! Have you ever cheated ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Doesn’t matter how this thread goes.

People are shit.

And they’ll make excuses rather than just admit that they’re shit.

Men, women, makes no difference.

Shit.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

I cheated and others thinking of it as an excuse or reason I care not. Ask my ex husband for his reasons or excuses for sexual assault, if it worries them that much.

Was I right for cheating? In his eyes no definitely not. For me yes, gave me the courage to leave his abusive arse and get my kids into a safe place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

Jeez angry much.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

You went too defensive too fast.

Looks like you’re protesting too much.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To say there’s no reason to cheat.

Go get married, start a business, get wealthy, then speak to a divorce lawyer

Sometimes getting divorced is just too expensive for one side. Imagine working 20-30 years building an empire only to have to give half of it away because you fell out of love.

It’s easy to paint every thing black and white and say there’s no reason to cheat. Very easy "

If the woman gave her career up to raise their kids she deserves half of the wealth he made during the marriage.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"Interesting comments. My opinion is unless you’ve walked in someone’s shoes you have no idea. I feel the same with most things. Although I don’t really concern myself with how others choose to live their lives unless it directly affects me so I don’t much care anyway. I just do me and live my life without need for validation or approval from anyone in what I do or don’t do. "

Nailed it here, Nora

Perhaps to avoid the lynch mobs, anyone who considers themselves a "cheat" should maybe not post it on the forum? You're never going to get approval or acceptance from some folk on here - especially if you're a chap. Just put it on your profile & let prospective partners decide for themselves if they want to engage.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think there's often both in play. Cheating is never a good idea, whether a man or woman, and an indicator that things are wrong in a relationship. But we should be slow to judge without knowing the circumstances.

Cheating of any kind isn't great either. I wonder how many who criticise others have never cheated in some way themselves, whether taxes, telling a lie, manipulating someone to get their own way, being economical with the truth etc.?

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I cheated and others thinking of it as an excuse or reason I care not. Ask my ex husband for his reasons or excuses for sexual assault, if it worries them that much.

Was I right for cheating? In his eyes no definitely not. For me yes, gave me the courage to leave his abusive arse and get my kids into a safe place.

This is what I mean. So much aggression on here. Good filter for sure. No situation is the same. The narrow-mindedness on here doesn’t even shock me anymore.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why cheat when you could go unicorn hunting. 22 try something new and make good choices

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"I cheated and others thinking of it as an excuse or reason I care not. Ask my ex husband for his reasons or excuses for sexual assault, if it worries them that much.

Was I right for cheating? In his eyes no definitely not. For me yes, gave me the courage to leave his abusive arse and get my kids into a safe place.

And I for one support & don't don't judge you Frida. So glad you are happy now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's always reasons but they aren't excuses. Would I cheat myself? No but that doesn't mean I will batter someone with a moral stick that does. We never know what's going on in someone's lives, so we all need to refrain from judgement and not project our own experiences of cheating onto others.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Why cheat when you could go unicorn hunting. 22 try something new and make good choices "

What did the unicorns ever do to you lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s difficult to be neutral on this subject when your life, self esteem, trust and confidence has been destroyed by cheating.

I’ve also been in a sexless relationship and because I know what cheating can do - I left.

I’ve also been in a divorce situation where I was the one who had to pay out (he had nothing, I had properties etc.), still divorced and didn’t cheat.

Once you’ve been traumatised by cheating, it changes your perspective.

This is why I will remain single, I couldn’t survive another betrayal.

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

"To say there’s no reason to cheat.

Go get married, start a business, get wealthy, then speak to a divorce lawyer

Sometimes getting divorced is just too expensive for one side. Imagine working 20-30 years building an empire only to have to give half of it away because you fell out of love.

It’s easy to paint every thing black and white and say there’s no reason to cheat. Very easy

If the woman gave her career up to raise their kids she deserves half of the wealth he made during the marriage. "

I specifically made it non gendered btw

And I guess that’s your opinion. I don’t think someone should be awarded potentially millions for raising some kids.

How about this. You speak to a divorce lawyer and he says “you’ll only see your kids on weekends”.

The laws around divorce make cheating murky water. If you cheat on your non-marriage partner then it’s kinda hard to say your not a piece of shit. Not true when your legally bonded to certain outcomes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s difficult to be neutral on this subject when your life, self esteem, trust and confidence has been destroyed by cheating.

I’ve also been in a sexless relationship and because I know what cheating can do - I left.

I’ve also been in a divorce situation where I was the one who had to pay out (he had nothing, I had properties etc.), still divorced and didn’t cheat.

Once you’ve been traumatised by cheating, it changes your perspective.

This is why I will remain single, I couldn’t survive another betrayal. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

Couldn't agree more.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

What's the difference between a reason and an excuse?

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

Just blame the guy

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

BTW this wasn't intended to be a bashing thread on anyone who has/is cheating.

It stems from a conversation I had with a friend as to if people just used excuses or reasons x

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By *aptainhornpipeMan over a year ago

manchester

If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Never a valid reason nor a valid excuse.but always seems to be someone else's fault.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"It’s difficult to be neutral on this subject when your life, self esteem, trust and confidence has been destroyed by cheating.

I’ve also been in a sexless relationship and because I know what cheating can do - I left.

I’ve also been in a divorce situation where I was the one who had to pay out (he had nothing, I had properties etc.), still divorced and didn’t cheat.

Once you’ve been traumatised by cheating, it changes your perspective.

This is why I will remain single, I couldn’t survive another betrayal. "

I'm sorry you've been through that.

But I would like to point out that is the case for some people. Not all.

Some people find it difficult to remain neutral on the subject when they've experienced it. Others don't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat"

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why cheat when you could go unicorn hunting. 22 try something new and make good choices

What did the unicorns ever do to you lol

They call for 1-1 fun and I consider this selfish

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat"

They are just as untrustworthy as the men x

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

Cheating is damaging in any form. I’ve cheated and been cheated on, both in very different circumstances. The only thing I despise is a ‘want their cake & eat it’ scenario. I don’t support a cheater who wants to stay in an incomplete marriage but wants the excitement of sex on the sly.

That’s a marriage of convenience which is a waste of both lives, unless it’s mutual of course

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

Ask the meet how many people she’s speaking to then times it by 3

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By *onderstuff73mMan over a year ago

Brum

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

But if it's not "valid" does that make it an excuse? x"

“Valid” is subjective, though I can guarantee it’s very unlikely all parties would think the same way about those “valid reasons”.

Then, the valid reasons become excuses.

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

This is good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

Ask the meet how many people she’s speaking to then times it by 3

The meet?

That like a nickname?

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse??

There's always a reason.

Whether it's a valid one or not is down to the parties involved. Anyone who thinks there's never a reason is either an eternal optimist or delusional.

But if it's not "valid" does that make it an excuse? x

“Valid” is subjective, though I can guarantee it’s very unlikely all parties would think the same way about those “valid reasons”.

Then, the valid reasons become excuses. "

That was my thinking x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

They are just as untrustworthy as the men x"

Lesbian relationships have the least cheating of all relationships so women are more trustworthy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the difference between a reason and an excuse?"

I suppose a reason is the root cause of why the behaviour manifests itself? ie no physical intimacy

The excuse is the justification? I couldn't live a sexless life so I made the choice?

It's the same principles in anything in life? I parked on the double yellow lines, because I needed to go in the shop and it's 5 minute walk to the carpark and I have to pay.

Ultimately there is no valid excuse that exonerated anyone, but it's a choice people make. Sometimes they regret that choice and it can be a moment of epiphany and other times, just like all humans they realise that you can get what you believe you want, if you're willing to act in a particular way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

They are just as untrustworthy as the men x

Lesbian relationships have the least cheating of all relationships so women are more trustworthy."

I meant the ones who cheat are just as untrustworthy as the men that do x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just blame the guy"

Lol yeah this always seems to be the case.

Man cheats - he can't commit, is a scum bag etc.

Woman cheats - Man wasn't giving her what she needed at home.

Always the man's fault

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one."

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

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By *entBarryUKMan over a year ago

Ashford

"I cheated and others thinking of it as an excuse or reason I care not. Ask my ex husband for his reasons or excuses for sexual assault, if it worries them that much.

Was I right for cheating? In his eyes no definitely not. For me yes, gave me the courage to leave his abusive arse and get my kids into a safe place.

Well done. Hope you are safe now

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Just blame the guy

Lol yeah this always seems to be the case.

Man cheats - he can't commit, is a scum bag etc.

Woman cheats - Man wasn't giving her what she needed at home.

Always the man's fault

I personally think whatever sex the person may be....both are just as bad as each other x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one."

Aww thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks."

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life."

I’m sure you’ll make it through this difficult time.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"I cheated and others thinking of it as an excuse or reason I care not. Ask my ex husband for his reasons or excuses for sexual assault, if it worries them that much.

Was I right for cheating? In his eyes no definitely not. For me yes, gave me the courage to leave his abusive arse and get my kids into a safe place.

This is what I mean. So much aggression on here. Good filter for sure. No situation is the same. The narrow-mindedness on here doesn’t even shock me anymore. "

I guess people think in black and white or their own personal experiences. Do I wish I just left him and not cheated. Yes, was that ever going to happen unlikely. He'd spent years telling me I an acquired taste and that nobody would want someone as broken as me. Which I stupidly believed and let him get away with so much.

But I do get why it's such an emotive subject for many.

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By *reamblueMan over a year ago

London

Seems like everyone agrees that if cheating is going on then there is some kind of problem in the relationship.

IMO there is unnecessary pressure in society to get married and never shag anyone else for the rest of your life. Seems unrealistic

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life."

No need to get personally. Everyone is giving their opinions on the subject without pointing the finger at anyone in particular x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life.

I’m sure you’ll make it through this difficult time."

I'll be fine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life."

Well aren't you a catch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life.

I’m sure you’ll make it through this difficult time.

I'll be fine. "

Clearly.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"I cheated and others thinking of it as an excuse or reason I care not. Ask my ex husband for his reasons or excuses for sexual assault, if it worries them that much.

Was I right for cheating? In his eyes no definitely not. For me yes, gave me the courage to leave his abusive arse and get my kids into a safe place.

And I for one support & don't don't judge you Frida. So glad you are happy now

Me too Red, living in a household where I'm not scared has made me a much better mam to my boys x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With men they just think with their dick.

I think any guy (yeah yeah not you ) would cheat given the right circumstances. Because their dick takes over, they can't help it.

There's a sexist generalisation if ever I saw one.

“if the cap fits”.

People are entitled to opinions, that’s what she thinks.

Yes. As am I. My opinion is she's a bitter sexist woman. Such is life.

Well aren't you a catch"

He wants you.

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

No.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

No x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

Nope

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t think that question went the way you intended.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

Yes, always have though. That wasn’t the cause

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

Have you had a really up front conversation with your wife about it?

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

Is that what your main excuse/reason would be too cheat? x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everybody cheats but me. Don’t believe that I’m single come look at my cutlery unit, bring wine, popcorn and a friend too

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By *nto the LouWoman over a year ago

Preston

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

Ask the meet how many people she’s speaking to then times it by 3

I don’t think it’s anybody else’s business how anybody chooses to interact on here and tbh I’d be shocked if I was the only person anybody was talking to!

I did know this attitude exists though after somebody blocked me when I mentioned something about somebody I’d been chatting to. It turns out he thought he was the only one I was talking to (whilst simultaneously asking on his status if anybody else was going to a certain club on a certain date!)

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

Ok do you enjoy the sex you get when you get it? It’s not easy finding the correct way to say it but fuck it yes I’m a twat

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By *weetiepie99Woman over a year ago

cardiff

"It’s difficult to be neutral on this subject when your life, self esteem, trust and confidence has been destroyed by cheating.

I’ve also been in a sexless relationship and because I know what cheating can do - I left.

I’ve also been in a divorce situation where I was the one who had to pay out (he had nothing, I had properties etc.), still divorced and didn’t cheat.

Once you’ve been traumatised by cheating, it changes your perspective.

This is why I will remain single, I couldn’t survive another betrayal. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other. "

what??

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other. "

What about the husband/wife/partner sat at home waiting on someone they love coming home....who's lives may be torn apart and destroyed by their partners infidelity? x

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "

It’s the fault of human beings. Lust and love are powerful emotions.

Some people of course just don’t get it and never will. The French do of course.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other. "

I may look into becoming a nun...

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun..."

Bet you don’t

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok do you enjoy the sex you get when you get it? It’s not easy finding the correct way to say it but fuck it yes I’m a twat"

Of course people enjoy sex, it’s a basic human need.

That doesn’t mean people can’t go without if they care for or love somebody.

“Not getting sex” is the lamest excuse to cheat.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

"Ok do you enjoy the sex you get when you get it? It’s not easy finding the correct way to say it but fuck it yes I’m a twat"

No, you’re not a twat. I think that if sex is that important then you should think about doing the right thing. It might not be that great with another woman either & that’s a gamble

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun..."

Well, don’t be hasty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

Nope.

And I was in a sexless relationship for over 7 years.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t "

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

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By *uckyNineMan over a year ago

prescot

There’s always a reason/excuse for cheating although non that are actually acceptable to anyone other than the cheater who is trying to convince themselves it’s ok

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By *ustmethistimeCouple over a year ago

East Midlands

"To say there’s no reason to cheat.

Go get married, start a business, get wealthy, then speak to a divorce lawyer

Sometimes getting divorced is just too expensive for one side. Imagine working 20-30 years building an empire only to have to give half of it away because you fell out of love.

It’s easy to paint every thing black and white and say there’s no reason to cheat. Very easy "

It's called honesty.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Ok do you enjoy the sex you get when you get it? It’s not easy finding the correct way to say it but fuck it yes I’m a twat"

You aren't a twat...you are just being honest x

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By *uckyNineMan over a year ago

prescot

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really. "

Good at what, the nunning or the shit sex?

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really. "

But a big collection of dildos I bet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

Good at what, the nunning or the shit sex?

I'm ace at the shit sex.

I've just realised I probably wouldn't be allowed wine though, the nun things out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh there's always a reason, always. And some reasons are more understandable than others.

I don't really judge people who cheat, but it obviously is a bit of a dick move. I don't think anyone can deny that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

But a big collection of dildos I bet"

What, do you want a list or something?

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By *uckyNineMan over a year ago

prescot

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

Good at what, the nunning or the shit sex?

I'm ace at the shit sex.

I've just realised I probably wouldn't be allowed wine though, the nun things out. "

What a coincidence, I’m really shit at the ace sex, sounds like we’d be dynamite

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

But a big collection of dildos I bet

What, do you want a list or something?

No just stating the fact that women have a lot of things that can satisfies themselves without a man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

But a big collection of dildos I bet

What, do you want a list or something?

No just stating the fact that women have a lot of things that can satisfies themselves without a man "

So do men.

Hands.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

There is always a reason. Don’t be quick to judge, you never know the reasons why. Only the couple do and that is for them to discuss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

But a big collection of dildos I bet

What, do you want a list or something?

No just stating the fact that women have a lot of things that can satisfies themselves without a man "

So if there was a sex toy for men then gave the feel of a pussy you wouldn't cheat? I'd get googling mate.

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By *ersiantugMan over a year ago

Cardiff

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x"

--Surely you can think of some? There are quite a few, mostly 'human' but some are animalistic too...

Females have a tendency to cheat with 'alpha males' - who themselves go with several females - which means that more women cheat over-all than men. There are 'alpha females' too, but just not as many. It's the rutting stag phenomenon - alpha males breeding with compliant females. Over-all it is more-often portrayed as happening the other way (ie men being the biggest 'cheats'), but that is largely down to the social presence of those alpha males imo: they give men a 'bad name', yet are lauded and lusted after too.

The above clearly happens because some people behave more like 'animals' than others in society. In my opinion it is at least an 'animal' thing as it is a 'human' thing to sexually cheat on someone, as to be 'human' transcends the animal by very definition (our animal-name is 'homo sapiens' of course). I find Fab quite animalistic at times, esp the gross impatience of some people.

But there are several 'human' reasons for cheating too of course.. which could be boredom, revenge for something (such as cheating too perhaps), disrespect, pure lust, weakness of dealing with things (from lust to hormones), caring for both people, peer pressure, sexual frustration, being in a relationship that is no longer wanted or working... --

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

Ask the meet how many people she’s speaking to then times it by 3

The meet?

That like a nickname?

Using “meet” as a placeholder for the person of interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/04/22 14:19:04]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

Ask the meet how many people she’s speaking to then times it by 3

The meet?

That like a nickname?

Using “meet” as a placeholder for the person of interest "

Hold on, men can do math!?!

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"It was a shit answer, actually. Clearly touted by someone who hasn’t got the realistic depth of perspective to examine why people do the things they do.

Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you. Ask me how I know. "

No-one has said that cheating is the worst thing someone can do x

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"[Removed by poster at 12/04/22 14:19:04]"

Hugs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If there isn’t a reason then why does it happen so much, you could say because men are untrustworthy and that may be true but how does that explain all the women that cheat

Because women are also untrustworthy.

Simple.

Ask the meet how many people she’s speaking to then times it by 3

The meet?

That like a nickname?

Using “meet” as a placeholder for the person of interest "

Not necessarily.

I might be a fool but I prefer to trust than think the worst.

I mean that with very few people though.

Mostly I don’t trust anybody, they’re inherently selfish.

As this thread proves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "

I suppose both are technically valid but that will remain with the person who is on whichever side of the situation etc.

There are still plenty of people who don’t master themselves or understand what drives them, or the subtle differences between pleasure and happiness etc, and often a lot of those lead to unhappiness which makes people make choices that can often be different to what they even want.

Others want the additional fun without worrying about others, some are heartless but most people just make choices based upon their own beliefs / viewpoint on self awareness etc, or see it as a ‘harmless quick fix’ or ‘I have kids or can’t afford it’ and just have that different approach to others to justify things.

No judgement here, there are worse things going on in some relationships than a lack of physical loyalty. As said previously, as long as people are upfront of their situation, as ironic as that seems, then I suppose it’s for their potential meet / partner / friend etc to make their own mind up.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

I think the cheater will always see it as a reason

The cheated on partner will always see it as an excuse x

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By *ersiantugMan over a year ago

Cardiff

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x

--Surely you can think of some? There are quite a few, mostly 'human' but some are animalistic too...

--Also some people don't particularly connect their actions in life and therefore don't even see themselves as cheating. Some people can quite easily live multifarious lives in this sense (esp morally), and can actually get in shock when they are caught.--

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simple….not happy then either try to fix the problem or walk.

There’s absolutely no need to cheat and be disrespectful and to hurt people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

Imagine if everyone had a hall pass. Imagine if the concept of love didn’t equate to physical and emotional sl4very to one person. Who is anyone to tell anyone that the love they feel isn’t valid because they happen to love (or fuck) other people too?

People are so arrogant.

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By *ustmethistimeCouple over a year ago

East Midlands

"So if you all who are dead against cheating do you have regular sex? "

That has nothing to do with cheating.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant. "

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

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By *ersiantugMan over a year ago

Cardiff

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did."

--Christ, what did he do?

For some people cheating clearly is the worse thing someone can do to them though (ie it feels like that, which is effectively the same thing.) It's entirely subjective and marriages have been lost because people can't get around the emotional betrayal, the carnal spread and loss - basically what has been done.

Let's not belittle the terrible effect this can have on some people! Over the past 10 years Fab will be littered with casualties because of this. A lot of people take huge risks being on here. --

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant. "

Some people are arrogant.

Some people are just better.

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Is not about time cheating because an outdated concept as we should be able to enjoy ourselves as adult. Shouldn't we not be more tolerant to other.

I may look into becoming a nun...

Bet you don’t

I've gone 2 years with no sex.

About 8 with shit sex.

I think I'd be pretty good at it really.

But a big collection of dildos I bet

What, do you want a list or something?

No just stating the fact that women have a lot of things that can satisfies themselves without a man

So if there was a sex toy for men then gave the feel of a pussy you wouldn't cheat? I'd get googling mate."

It’s not that I’m not bothered if I cum I enjoy the feel of a woman and giving them pleasure if it was just that I needed to finish then I would do it myself

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

--Christ, what did he do?

Let's not belittle the terrible effect this can have on some people! Over the past 10 years Fab will be littered with casualties because of this. A lot of people take huge risks being on here. --"

As I've stated above my ex husband sexually assaulted me. It's hard when someone takes your body and you've lost all sense of your own body being your own. I can't describe how much it hurts but I can tell you I wish he cheated on me and not assault me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x"

Have you read some of these replies? Clearly a significant number of people think cheating is the pinnacle of betrayal. Which is childish, short sighted, and frankly, a fucking insult to those of us who have experienced far worse things at the hands of people who claimed to “love” us.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

Don't worry about the opinions of others who've not walked in your shoes. I hear you and I understand

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

--Christ, what did he do?

Let's not belittle the terrible effect this can have on some people! Over the past 10 years Fab will be littered with casualties because of this. A lot of people take huge risks being on here. --

I am sorry you had to go through that nobody should suffer that way

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By *owbadisbadMan over a year ago

Sleaford / Grantham

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x"

My other half due to medical reasons can't have sex (wasn't when we met), I see that as a reason. I don't want an affair as feelings get involved, yes it's wrong of me to want to have sex with others but it's a basic urge for most, and I don't want to lose my other half as if it wasn't for the physical side of our relationship everything else is good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

And, to put it into perspective, there are lots who will say that they have experienced worse than the awful things that you have experienced.

My friend who’s husband murdered her toddler son, for example, would much rather she was sexually assaulted.

I’m not belittling what you’ve been through but don’t belittle what others have been through either.

After 5 years of counselling, I’m almost able to move on from what I went through when my partner cheated. I won’t go into detail but everyone has their own trauma.

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By *rivervaderMan over a year ago

bolton

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x

Finally somebody who gets where I am coming from

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By *ind PaddyMan over a year ago

South County Dublin

"Is there a reason for cheating or always just an excuse?? "
I would not call it cheating, my wife is ill and it can be stressful

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By *owbadisbadMan over a year ago

Sleaford / Grantham

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x

Finally somebody who gets where I am coming from "

Glad it's not just me, when I explain this to ladies on here it does put them off, but I'd rather be upfront to them.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

my late Husband told me, on my discovery of his affair with the woman who called herself my bestie for 5 years, that he felt I had enough on my plate caring for our children, and sick and elderly disabled parents and other relatives without him leashing his base desires onto me as well, and having this mistress on the side was to help me feel less burdened.

It wasn't the sex that bothered me, or the fact it was a woman calling herself my bestie, it was the lies, the manipulation, the deceit, the fakery and the falsehoods, the creeping around, the feeling I had been taken for a muppet and all of that, the wondering if all the things he missed like my mothers retirement party because he was called into work was actually her pulling him away from his family that ruined it all for me.

Sex with others in this marriage works because we do it together, no secrets, no lies, no outside attachments and so on, just open honest fun which we both know about, it's a respect thing, it's an honourable thing, it's how we roll, and we love it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my late Husband told me, on my discovery of his affair with the woman who called herself my bestie for 5 years, that he felt I had enough on my plate caring for our children, and sick and elderly disabled parents and other relatives without him leashing his base desires onto me as well, and having this mistress on the side was to help me feel less burdened.

Your best friend??? Omg! That is horrible

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By *nliveneTV/TS over a year ago

Selby

What is the difference between having a reazon or giving an excuse in the context of cheating?

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By *ersiantugMan over a year ago

Cardiff

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

--Christ, what did he do?

Let's not belittle the terrible effect this can have on some people! Over the past 10 years Fab will be littered with casualties because of this. A lot of people take huge risks being on here. --

--God maybe in a way he was cheating on you. Maybe that's another way someone can cheat, by dehumanising their partners (ie removing their personality) and sexually assaulting them. Or maybe it was very much an attack on you personally... I'm sorry it happened either way.

It may not ultimately be as bad, but I know some people see cheating as a huge violation to their selves- one they simply can't get around. And they feel it physically. The cheater might have all the excuses in place and could be convinced they can get out of it (how easy-going their partner normally is, how much he/she loves them etc) - but the crack is just to big for some of the victims and it simply breaks everything up. Even with kids.

I know a carer who is in her 90's now and still looks after her autistic son! Many years ago she left her partner (who she loved) in 1 second when she found he had cheated on her, and brought up the kid entirely on her own: a totally clean break.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"There's always a reason, it's not accidental.

I don't judge.

Not judging either...just wondered if there were genuine reasons for cheating x

But don't you run the risk of losing her if she found out you were cheating?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To say there’s no reason to cheat.

Go get married, start a business, get wealthy, then speak to a divorce lawyer

Sometimes getting divorced is just too expensive for one side. Imagine working 20-30 years building an empire only to have to give half of it away because you fell out of love.

It’s easy to paint every thing black and white and say there’s no reason to cheat. Very easy

If the woman gave her career up to raise their kids she deserves half of the wealth he made during the marriage. "

Does she? If she gave up her career as a dinner lady does she deserve millions?

If she wanted kids but he didn't and only agreed to please her does she deserve half his wealth?

If he asked her to go back to work and offered to pay for child care/nannies etc but she refused, saying she didn't want her career back does she deserve half?

I'm sticking with the genders you picked but the questions are equally valid either way.

Raising a child is harder work when you're poor so why does a person who gave up work to raise the children of a rich partner "deserve" more than that of a person with a poor partner?

If you meet a rich person and, because you can afford to, you give up a lucrative job and choose instead to do one where you earn a lot less but that you enjoy more, do you deserve to have half of your partners earnings when you split even though you've spent the last however many years doing a job you prefer and being bankrolled by your partner?

What if you want kids but decide you can't afford them, meet someone who earns enough to enable you to fulfill your dream, then after 10 years you split up do you owe them 10 years of funding your dream or do they owe you payments for the rest of your life for enabling that dream?

As with most things every situation is different. "Deserve" is a funny word like that - it always involves a subjective judgement.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

--Christ, what did he do?

Let's not belittle the terrible effect this can have on some people! Over the past 10 years Fab will be littered with casualties because of this. A lot of people take huge risks being on here. --

It was an attack on both in my case, he wanted to put me back in my box and make me more "manageable". It was about dehumanising as it was anally which is something we'd never done. He was the only person I had ever been with. Traumatic isn't the word as he did it with our kids asleep in their beds.

What I did isn't right I'm not saying it is. But it was a reaction to his actions and it gave me the confidence to leave him. So whilst it's not right I don't feel guilty about it.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

Everyone is entitled to their opinions as are you...but to call them what you have in your post is uncalled for. For you obviously cheating wasn't/isn't such a big deal but to others it is as they have expressed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

That’s what I was trying to say but you’ve said it much better.

To say that I’m being childish, short sighted and insulting to be devastated by what happened to me (and others in this thread who’ve experienced cheating) is unfair and unkind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Should there be a filter button on preferences to block or accept those that are playing away ?

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

That’s what I was trying to say but you’ve said it much better.

To say that I’m being childish, short sighted and insulting to be devastated by what happened to me (and others in this thread who’ve experienced cheating) is unfair and unkind.

Thanks x

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

That’s what I was trying to say but you’ve said it much better.

To say that I’m being childish, short sighted and insulting to be devastated by what happened to me (and others in this thread who’ve experienced cheating) is unfair and unkind.

But also a tad unkind to call all cheaters scum of the earth, especially if they've been abused. It shouldn't be tit for tat though I agree.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Should there be a filter button on preferences to block or accept those that are playing away ? "

What about us harlots who did it once upon a time and now don't?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The comments on subjects like this always make me laugh because a lot of the people stating they would never meet a "cheat" are usually the ones who go on to have socials/club meets and/or sex with people that are still legally married but have just moved out.

Just because they no longer live at home they are still classed as married in a court of law so therefore too are still married and shagging around and can be classed as cheating too!

They need completed divorce papers before they are classed as single

Men cheat

Women cheat

It's no one else's business

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

That’s what I was trying to say but you’ve said it much better.

To say that I’m being childish, short sighted and insulting to be devastated by what happened to me (and others in this thread who’ve experienced cheating) is unfair and unkind.

But also a tad unkind to call all cheaters scum of the earth, especially if they've been abused. It shouldn't be tit for tat though I agree. "

It shouldn't be tit for tat but as per fab....expect nothing less.

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By *rispyDuckMan over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

F#cking hell things got heated quickly haha

Reading these comments has kept me entertained on my lunch break

In my own humble opinion, without naming, shaming or offending anyone I think, I have nothing further to add to this discussion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheating is not the worst thing a person can do to you in a relationship. I would have given *anything* for my ex to have cheated on me instead of do what he did.

People are so arrogant.

No-one has said that cheating is the worst that someone can do x

That’s what I was trying to say but you’ve said it much better.

To say that I’m being childish, short sighted and insulting to be devastated by what happened to me (and others in this thread who’ve experienced cheating) is unfair and unkind.

God this is so tedious. At no point have I said that anyone who is sad about being cheated on is childish, shortsighted and insulting. What I *did* say, is that those who act as though it’s the worst thing™? one human being can do to another human being while in a relationship are childish, short sighted and insulting. Just as it’s insulting, childish and shortsighted for people who suffer mild inconveniences to complain in front of people who have suffered far greater injustices. Your sensitivity doesn’t extend further than your experiences, so why should mine? Why should the burden of sensitivity to others be on me and not you as well? Is that not “unfair and unkind”? Some guy I briefly dated/fucked would skive off work and wail about his mental health to me about how his kids were moving an hour away with their mum. To me. Who’s child lived four hours away. Who didn’t see their child for 9 months at the pinnacle of the pandemic. Was I insensitive for my lack of sympathy? Or was he, for complaining about something I would have traded for in a heart beat?

I find it hard to care about inconsequential things when the world is falling apart around our ears and we’re arguing the tits over shit that doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Calling people who just want some dopamine in a world of cortisol “the scum of the earth” is the height of shitness, unfairness, and unkindness.

Over and out.

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