FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > here one for bdsm lovers
here one for bdsm lovers
Jump to: Newest in thread
Heared the ultimate safe word today .
Meatloaf.
I will do anything for love .but
I won't do that .
I use the normal traffic light ones
Green Amber Red . although no ones every needed to use them .
so whats yours
Anything as inventive as meatloaf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient 
Subspace can be trick especially for
A new Dom who hasn't experienced. It . but experienced doms know what to do."
Yeah I'm lucky, mine knows my tells and how to manage it. But blooming heck was weird as when we started out  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient "
--You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course)
I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
--You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course)
I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!
"
Its not role play for those who M/S relationship but you have to have the right mental connection first . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
--You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course)
I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!"
I am of a similar view, when I play or do rope.
If something is not right just tell me, a safeword is a very blunt instrument. Also as someone said, if they go non vocal a safeword is not much help (there are ways around this).
In my mind there are three reasons to offer safewords.
Firstly if you are playing with someone new they will feel more comfortable relying on a safeword, but more importantly they may feel safer with a Top that offers one.
Second, if the scene is primal or CNC where the agreed play is that resistance is to be ignored you then need a safeword that can be used if the play becomes too intense or something is hurting.
Third, some people don't go non vocal but do get confused, and a safeword is more accessible for some than an explanation.
The final thing to note is that a safeword does not remove the Tops responsibility for the bottom. They still need to use the various ways of checking in to ensure the bottom is well. Like a boxing refereree they need to know when the bottom has had enough.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We use traffic lights as standard. I think it's a particularly good system especially if you are playing with newer people, as you can ask their their colour without breaking the atmosphere too much (what colour? Growled in your ear as a example) and it gives verbal feedback and re-enforces their consent
MJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
--You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course)
I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!"
Which we have all in place, because of going my going mute. There's always ways to get around these things if required. And in any case M checks in on me on a regular basis, we don't aim to have to use any form of stopping that's not our objective.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
--You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course)
I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!
I am of a similar view, when I play or do rope.
If something is not right just tell me, a safeword is a very blunt instrument. Also as someone said, if they go non vocal a safeword is not much help (there are ways around this).
In my mind there are three reasons to offer safewords.
Firstly if you are playing with someone new they will feel more comfortable relying on a safeword, but more importantly they may feel safer with a Top that offers one.
Second, if the scene is primal or CNC where the agreed play is that resistance is to be ignored you then need a safeword that can be used if the play becomes too intense or something is hurting.
Third, some people don't go non vocal but do get confused, and a safeword is more accessible for some than an explanation.
The final thing to note is that a safeword does not remove the Tops responsibility for the bottom. They still need to use the various ways of checking in to ensure the bottom is well. Like a boxing refereree they need to know when the bottom has had enough"
--Good points on uses for safe words, but I think ultimately the dom needs that certain instinct.
I've chosen not to go with someone extremely promising in the past because even though he offered a safe word and to talk etc, he really wanted to role play above everything else and do some serious stuff - and despite everything I just never really felt he had enough of an instinct. He was confident for sure, but he didn't convince me - he just seemed a bit too wild maybe or loose almost by nature. And I could be wrong about him actually, but I feel you can get a lot when you just talk to someone sometimes, and you have to be secure in that final level of trust. -- |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes traffic light works really well
Short and simple "
--Unless you are Irish, who have decided to skip 'amber' in some instances!
It seems to me the safe word here is actually "Amber!" (ie to stop things becoming red), unless I suppose someone is saying "green, green, green, green" all the time! If someone was happy with condition "Red" then they would still be in need of a safe word. And what's the point in saying "green" unless it's to answer a direct question?
Honestly, I'd work out more ways of communicating too, it makes sense (and makes it sound less like a driving test too lol). -- |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes traffic light works really well
Short and simple
--Unless you are Irish, who have decided to skip 'amber' in some instances!
It seems to me the safe word here is actually "Amber!" (ie to stop things becoming red), unless I suppose someone is saying "green, green, green, green" all the time! If someone was happy with condition "Red" then they would still be in need of a safe word. And what's the point in saying "green" unless it's to answer a direct question?
Honestly, I'd work out more ways of communicating too, it makes sense (and makes it sound less like a driving test too lol). --"
I our situation green is never used unless he asks me what colour I'm on.
Amber for us generally means I'm almost at my limit so slow down or be more gentle.
Red means STOP! All play stops immediately and restraints are undone and we relax and talk about what tipped me (or him for that matter, as safe words can be used by the Dom to) over the edge to red. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
When I use safe words, I have stolen the famous kink site approach of replacing "amber" with "Mercy" which gives a better top and bottom kink head space. Although that was rubbished in my favourite kink comic "Sunstone" in which they used "Sunstone". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Someone I knew and played with, for a laugh, switched traffic lights to coffee chains.
We played quite theatrically anyway when playing in public so it played into that very well"
But which ones were which |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
If you space quickly a physical sign usually works.
Hold something and let it go as the sign to stop."
Or learn to tap out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
If you space quickly a physical sign usually works.
Hold something and let it go as the sign to stop."
Oh, while I appreciate the metaphor, don’t complicate what should be kept simple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Heared the ultimate safe word today .
Meatloaf.
I will do anything for love .but
I won't do that .
I use the normal traffic light ones
Green Amber Red . although no ones every needed to use them .
so whats yours
Anything as inventive as meatloaf
"
Cabbages |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We use a little bell as more often than not she can't speak. I also know how her body works and reacts so know when the bell is on its way.
"
We don't have a safe word. Everyone is now screaming at the screen! We've been in the community too long. He knows how to read my body. He knows it better tgan I do. Plus, how can you say a safe word, if your gaggad? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient
--You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course)
I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!
I am of a similar view, when I play or do rope.
If something is not right just tell me, a safeword is a very blunt instrument. Also as someone said, if they go non vocal a safeword is not much help (there are ways around this).
In my mind there are three reasons to offer safewords.
Firstly if you are playing with someone new they will feel more comfortable relying on a safeword, but more importantly they may feel safer with a Top that offers one.
Second, if the scene is primal or CNC where the agreed play is that resistance is to be ignored you then need a safeword that can be used if the play becomes too intense or something is hurting.
Third, some people don't go non vocal but do get confused, and a safeword is more accessible for some than an explanation.
The final thing to note is that a safeword does not remove the Tops responsibility for the bottom. They still need to use the various ways of checking in to ensure the bottom is well. Like a boxing refereree they need to know when the bottom has had enough.
"
Yes, unless it’s CNC, no and stop mean no and stop and are easier to say than pink flamingos…. And if you’re incapable of speaking that are no use at all.
But I agree for nervous or newbie people I can see why they would like to use them when first exploring playing with power roles, verbal sparring etc
Relying on safe words can be dangerous , you need those non verbal signs, you need to know what distress looks like to your partner and be ready to act on it
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think when someone knows your tells a safe word is not needed and not used.
A body shift, a noise, a certain posture, a clench of a fist, breathing, too many to list, can say way more.
A tap is much easier to do and less harsh. A safe word said in haste can sound urgent and panic the Dom.
PW
But if I had to pick a fun safe word I'd pick... ouch! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most people who have been a proper bdsm relationship know comuncation is the most important be that ver. Onl
Or none verbal its about a meeting of minds understanding one another .but just for a bit of fun
Alternative safe words please
Ouch not sure if you can really count that as if your useing to say stop one stroke and your done where do you go from there .but it was a funny one . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
